As the Moon Rises
by j-jip
Summary: Moonrise was only minutes away and Remus was without his final dose of Wolfsbane for the week. In short: Hermione was doomed. COMPLETE.
1. Fatal Flaw

**Author's Note:** This story is split into two parts: before Graduation and after Graduation. The first part takes place at Hogwarts (obviously), and the second part takes place at another secret location, which will be revealed at the beginning of part two.

Also: this story is very AU, having diverged from canon somewhere after/around GoF. It takes place in the trio's seventh year of Hogwarts, without much regard to anything that took place after their fourth year. I urge you to remember this as you read on.

**Warning:** This chapter contains somewhat graphic depictions of violence/gore. It's nothing too terrible, but if you're sensitive to that please be careful.

* * *

**PART ONE**

Hogwarts

* * *

**I**

Fatal Flaw

* * *

It took him four seconds to realize that he was not in his bed, and another four after that to realize that he was staring up at a forest of darkened treetops. Even in his sluggish and groggy state, Remus Lupin was quickly able to recognize that he was in fact in the Forbidden Forest, and that he _definitely_ wasn't supposed to be here.

Remus shifted on the cold ground, his blurred vision and a sudden spasm of nausea making the movement difficult. He always got nauseous just before the full moon.

_The full moon._

_Fuck._

An entirely different kind of anxiety set in. The Professor blinked several times to focus his failing eyes. All he could see was the blackened canopy of trees above.

The last thing he could remember was making his way down to Severus' office to get his final dose of Wolfsbane for this week. For some reason he had no memory of arriving in Severus' office or getting his potion.

As if on cue, the faraway memory of a spell hitting him from behind fluttered into his mind. He'd been _stunned_. Adrenaline happened to kick in just then. Remus bolted upright, his eyes focusing and scanning his surroundings. There were plenty of trees; the kind of trees you only see when you're deep in the Forbidden Forest. This was bad.

"_Remus_!"

The screeching yell caught him off guard. He turned sharply, letting out a groan of protest at the state of his tired joints, aching with anticipation of the impending transformation. _Moonrise must be close,_ he thought, a lead weight settling in his stomach.

"_Remus_," The voice spoke again, and it was only now that he recognized the owner. Hermione Granger was most distinguishable by her wild, curly hair and the Head Girl badge pinned onto the front of her school robes. If he hadn't been able to recognize her for her hair or the badge, her school robes and the fact that she'd called him "Remus" would have given her away. Only a few current Hogwarts students called him by his first name, and of them she was the only female.

"Remus, you have to run! Get away before-"

A hand yanking roughly at her hair cut her off. Behind her stood a tall, looming figure, their wand pressed into her throat. The person had a slender figure and long platinum hair. The initial shock at seeing Lucius Malfoy in the middle of the forest faded away at the sight of the man's sadistic expression.

Remus leapt from the ground. "What's going on?" He patted the pockets of his robes in search of his wand, but it was no use. His wand was gone.

"Run!" Hermione shouted again, and this time he could pinpoint the terrified tremble in her voice. "You need to run!"

The man behind her silenced her once more, his hand twisting in her hair. Remus started to advance on the pair of them, prepared to engage Malfoy in a physical fight if he needed to.

"Stop!" Lucius commanded, his voice deadly. "I'll kill her." He twisted the wrist of his wand hand, as if preparing to rattle off a Killing Curse. Remus halted. His eyes met Hermione's a split second later. She looked uncharacteristically frightened, but the rigid set of her jaw and shoulders showed determination. She knew what was going to happen and she knew that they had to get out of here.

"Alright!" Remus shouted, throwing his hands up into the air and stepping back. "What do you want and why have you brought her into this?" His eyes flicked between Hermione and Malfoy as he spoke.

"You've grown old and slow, Lupin," the man spat, eyeing Remus' shabby robes with disdain. "Can't you see why you are here? The moon rises in only a few moments…"

A shiver raced down Remus' spine. Hermione began to struggle in Malfoy's grip. "Fine, I'll explain for your slower mind. The Dark Lord wants Potter's friends _taken care of_." Malfoy sneered down at Hermione, "As I've been assigned this task, I've decided that the Mudblood ought to be the first to go. It was just my luck that she was rather easy for me to get my hands on."

Hermione began to struggle again. Remus couldn't quite make out the expression on her face anymore–the light was too sparse–but he knew she was afraid. It wouldn't be long now before moonrise…

"And why am I here?" Remus demanded. His temper was always short before the full moon. The present situation only added to his irritability.

"Patience," Malfoy chided, "I'm getting there." With another pause, he glanced at the shadowy forest around them. His eyes trained back on Remus, "the Dark Lord _graciously_ rewards his followers when they are clever and efficient about how they accomplish their tasks. True to my nature, I've come up with a clever way to finish off the girl, and with your involvement there are a couple added bonuses that I will be rewarded for handsomely." He spoke with the same blind arrogance that he had possessed in his youth. Lucius had been several years ahead of Remus at Hogwarts, but they still had their fair share of encounters in their school years.

Remus paled. He knew where this was going, and he now understood why Hermione had been so vehement about telling him to run.

"You think I'm going to kill her," he said, gauging both Lucius and Hermione for a reaction.

"I _know_ you're going to kill her." Malfoy's expression turned from one of arrogant passivity to one of cruel delight. "And after you kill her Dumbledore will ship you off to Azkaban straight away. Then once the news hits the public all remaining Werewolves will be locked away as they should be." His sneer was equal parts proud and reverent. "I can just imagine poor Potter's face when he sees the remains of his dear little Mudblood," he huffed out a laugh, "murdered by his favorite Professor."

Watching the Death Eater before him speak with the utmost confidence, it struck Remus how dreadful this situation was. They were deep in the recesses of the Forbidden Forest. Moonrise was only minutes away and Remus was without his final dose of Wolfsbane for the week. In short: Hermione was doomed.

"It won't work!" He shouted, stepping backwards in a feeble attempt to put distance between himself and Hermione. She was trembling. "I'll kill myself first!" Remus shouted again. He studied their surroundings, searching for something that could incapacitate himself.

"No!" Hermione shouted. Lucius was laughing but neither of them paid him any mind. "Remus you can't!"

He suddenly became very angry with her. She was naïve for thinking that she had any chance at all if he remained alive. Once he transformed she was as good as dead. The wolf would rip her throat out in a matter of seconds. He turned to her, tamping down his rage and trying to get his brain to work properly. "I am _not_ going to kill you, Hermione," he murmured.

Lucius' accompanying laugh drowned out her fearful gasp. Remus took several more steps backwards, searching among the trees for something of use.

"It's too late, Lupin," Malfoy drawled, looking up at the sky. He was right. Remus could feel the moon as if it were an extension of himself. The telltale signs of a nearing transformation were already here: skin crawling, muscle spasms, aching jaw.

Abruptly, Lucius shoved Hermione away from him, causing her to stumble in Remus' direction. "Don't scream too loud," he whispered. In the next second the Death Eater turned on the spot, Disapparating with a resounding crack.

* * *

The clearing was silent for a split second before Remus started shouting at her. "Run!" he growled, "Hermione, get away!" His voice cracked with the tension and Hermione knew that the transformation was starting. Not needing to be told twice, she willed her clumsy legs to move and took off at a run through the canopy of trees.

Hermione focused her gaze on the ground, trying to avoid any tree roots as she ran in a direction that was either further into the forest or deeper. She had no way of knowing. Her only intelligible thought was a desperate hope that this was all some terrible nightmare.

Remus' first scream of pain reverberated through the woods. The following screams followed her as she fled through the trees, evolving into something more and more beastly with each passing second.

All at once the screams of agony were replaced by one long, guttural howl. Hermione could feel the cold sweat breaking out over her skin. There was no way she could outrun a werewolf. It was impossible, especially with the density of the trees obstructing her movement. If only she had her wand… but no, Malfoy had taken that from her and snapped it long ago. She had to figure out another way out of this without magic.

The young witch ran for a long time, some inherent sense telling her that he would catch her within seconds if she stopped.

_He'll catch you even if you don't stop_, a traitorous voice whispered in the back of her mind.

With an abrupt thumping sound, a tree root caught her toe. Hermione slammed into the ground, her hands and knees breaking the fall. A sharp pain travelled up her wrist with the impact. She could hear noises behind her. When she turned she saw the menacing wolf bolting towards her, weaving through the trees.

Panic overrode all other senses, and Hermione searched her surroundings for anything that would help. There was a rather sizeable fallen tree branch to her left, but it was too far away. Remus—no, the _wolf—_had stopped his jogging pace. He was now stalking towards her at a careful pace, bright amber eyes focused on her shaking form. An idea floated into her mind at that moment. It was a spell she'd been practicing for a while, the only wandless magic that she felt confident in doing. Perhaps it would scare him off…

Hermione decided to try it. She lifted her hand, her palm facing upwards, the incantation forming on her lips. In her mind, she concentrated, imagining fire erupting from her palm, illuminating the forest.

It worked.

She gasped as wild blue flames sprouted up, dancing on her palm. The wolf backed away, affronted by the sudden burst of fire. She could feel his eyes on her, but she focused on keeping the flames alive.

It was no use. The fire died out not a moment later. Perhaps it was the adrenaline that allowed Hermione to sense what was going to happen next, for she knew beyond a doubt that he was going to attack. She flung herself aside in a vain effort to grab the tree branch she'd spotted earlier. That was when the wolf decided to lunge. He was a blur of dark fur and feral amber eyes coming towards her. His claws dug into the shoulder of the arm that had reached for the tree branch with a burst of excruciating pain.

"HELP!" she screamed, hopelessly trying to use the branch to hit him or get him off of her somehow, "SOMEONE HELP ME!" She could feel the beast's claws tearing through the flesh of her back and shoulder. It burned and stung. Hermione thought for a moment that she was about to die purely from the pain of it.

In her struggle against the wolf, Hermione's foot somehow found purchase against a protruding tree root. She used it to push herself away from him, simultaneously kicking at him with her other foot.

A growl tore from his throat, and she knew that she had angered him. Her stomach dropped. She pushed herself away from him once more, but it was too late. His next moved seemed to happen in slow motion. She watched with anguished terror as he opened his jaw and dug his teeth into the flesh of her lower calf.

Hermione let out a shriek of pain. The tearing of his teeth hurt, but the strange and immediate burning sensation was ten times worse. It felt as though his teeth were on fire, sending waves of flames licking up at her leg and scorching their way through her body.

It was only seconds later that the adrenaline kicked in. Hermione somehow found the willpower not to faint and instead to grasp the large tree branch tightly and swing it at the wolf.

The branch met his skull with a loud thump. Immediately, he released her leg, letting out a sharp whimper and stumbling backwards, disoriented.

Hermione gasped in agony, not daring to let her eyes leave the beast, no matter how much she wanted to glance at the wound on her leg. Her blood felt like it was on fire, and she had to actively remind herself that it wasn't possible.

The wolf made eye contact with her and she was sure that he would pounce and kill her now… but he didn't. She held his gaze with a bravery that she didn't know she had and he just stood there, staring her down, shoulders hunched and jaw dripping with her blood. It was several long moments before Hermione realized that he might not attack her again. Maybe she'd scared him off.

She didn't take her eyes off his, afraid that he would kill her the moment she did. Instead she just sat on the ground, holding onto her tree branch, ready for him to come at her.

As the moments crept by, the pain in her leg was becoming more bearable. Judging from the blood that was trickling down her arm and shoulder he had scratched her pretty badly there. On top of that, of course, was the throbbing and burning of her lower leg, where he had bitten her. She didn't want to think about what that bite meant, so she pushed it all out of her mind for now.

She had a long time until sunrise, but she would wait. She would wait as long as it took to save her life and–in a way–his own.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Reviews, questions, and comments are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!


	2. What a Mess We've Made

**II**

What a Mess We've Made

* * *

Pain. That was what Remus felt. He could barely make out the shapes and shadows around him. He couldn't focus on anything while his skin was being ripped apart and his bones were being shattered and reformed. He let out a scream as the last wave of the transformation hit him, and then collapsed on the ground.

Several seconds later, Remus managed more than partial consciousness. He opened his eyes and looked around the forest, ignoring his pounding headache. The memories of what happened with Malfoy and Hermione came back, but there was a big black hole in his mind where the transformation and the subsequent night should have been. He shifted his jaw, noting the distinct tang of blood in his mouth that definitely wasn't his own.

This was bad. This was so fucking bad that Remus wanted to scream and cry and _kill_ Malfoy. He held his breath while he searched the nearby forest, expecting the worst.

Then he saw her. Hermione was there, sitting up against a tree trunk several meters away. Despite the blood smeared across her forehead and the ashen paleness of her skin he could see the rise and fall of her chest. She was alive. _How the hell had she survived?_

"Hermione," he groaned, trying to sit up more. Every muscle and joint in his body protested, but he didn't care.

She wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were trained on the ground in front of her. Remus realized that he wasn't wearing any clothes. "Oh," he muttered.

"Here," she said hoarsely, still not looking at him. She extended her hand, which held her cloak. She must have taken it off sometime in the night, knowing that Remus would need it. He gingerly stepped forward and took the heavy cloak from her, wrapping it around his waist. She was wearing a jumper and skirt under. It was now that he noticed that her clothes were tattered and stained with a sizeable amount of blood.

Remus' mouth went dry. "Did I…" he began, not knowing how to phrase the question or get the words out of his mouth. His head was pounding and the exhaustion of the transformation weighed heavy on his limbs. But now was not the time to rest.

She met his gaze, and he could see the dark circles that hung under her eyes. She must have not slept at all. With slow movements, she nodded, her gaze falling down to her leg. Remus clenched his jaw. There it was, a bite mark amidst the blood and dirt.

He'd ruined her.

He dropped to his knees beside her, allowing his head to fall into his hands. Somehow, he didn't imagine this would happen. He thought she would die. This was so different, so much _worse_. He had infected her with the bane of his existence. She was a werewolf now. There was no way she could ever live a normal life. This poor girl, who had such a great future ahead of her... she was ruined, and it was all thanks to him. "I'm sorry, Hermione," He whispered, devastated, "I- I'm so, _so_ sorry." He felt like he was watching this scene from above, looking down on the pair of them on the forest floor. It took him several seconds to realize that he was probably in shock.

"Don't apologize," Hermione said sternly, "we need to get out of here." Her bravery took him by surprise, but then again, it always had. "I expect that someone will be looking for us, but we can't very well be found in the middle of the Forbidden Forest that easily."

Remus searched for words, still unable to move past the catastrophic thing he'd done. _God,_ he wished he could've died. He wished that he could have thrown himself off a cliff before he had the chance to touch her.

Before Remus had a chance to say anything else, a rustling from behind called his attention. Someone was coming. He stood and moved slightly in front of Hermione, not knowing whether he wanted to protect her or shield the injuries he'd inflicted from view.

"Lupin?" a deep and wary voice called through the trees. Surprisingly enough, Severus Snape stepped into view, his wand brandished and his expression imperceptible.

Remus didn't know if he was relieved or distraught to see the dour Potions Master. Despite their rocky past, Remus and Severus were now on better terms since Remus had returned to his previous position as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Severus still disliked Remus, but he knew all about his Lycanthropy and Remus believed that the Potions Professor could be trusted.

"What's happened?" Severus asked briskly, glancing past Remus' half naked form to Hermione, bloody and shivering on the ground. Remus realized that it must have been an eerie sight to walk in on, but Severus appeared to take it all in stride. In only a second, the Professor flicked his wand and repaired Remus' robes, which had been torn to shreds and skewed across the ground. Then, he strode towards Hermione, looking her over, obviously noticing the bite mark just above her ankle. His expression betrayed nothing.

"It was Lucius Malfoy," Hermione rasped, "he brought us here and took our wands."

Remus could feel Hermione's eyes on him despite the fact that he was looking at the ground. "I-" he began, choking out the words and trying not to lose his control, "I don't know how this happened."

"Remus didn't get his Wolfsbane," Hermione murmured softly, her voice pained.

When Remus glanced up from the ground he saw that Severus had finished cleaning the wound near Hermione's ankle. The bite mark was angry and red, standing out against her pale skin. "I'm aware," Severus said dully, moving over to Hermione's side to heal her shoulder.

"Did you speak to Malfoy?" Remus asked, barely managing to not sound accusatory. Severus flicked his wand and a potion bottle appeared. Remus took it, knowing that it was the usual post-full moon brew that Severus produced, some sort of variation on the Pepper Up Potion. It improved his condition immensely, but he was still exhausted and sore and wholly devastated.

Severus shook his head. "I knew that something was wrong when you didn't retrieve your potion. Albus used the tracking spell to find your location. He had me wait until sunrise to retrieve you." The professor gave Hermione one last glance of appraisal. His expression was hard to decipher as always, but Remus could see the conflict in his eyes. "I hadn't expected this," he added softly, standing and taking his eyes from Hermione.

"We should get back to the school," Hermione said anxiously. "What if he comes back?"

"Lucius would never return here. He will be confident that his plan has succeeded." Remus knew that Severus didn't need to ask what the plan was. Surely he could infer. "Poppy will be waiting in the Hospital Wing," Severus murmured, holding out an arm to both Hermione and Remus. It took Hermione a moment to realize that they were going to Apparate. She hesitated, her face falling.

"What is it?" Severus snapped impatiently.

She winced, and Remus could feel her trying to resist looking at him. "I don't want anyone to see us." Her words came out softly and shamefully.

Remus felt another rush of guilt. _Of course_ _she was ashamed_! Who wouldn't be? She didn't want anyone to know that she had been afflicted with Lycanthropy. Remus completely understood.

"I don't want people to know," Hermione continued needlessly, "Especially that Remus did it. They can't know. He'll get into trouble."

Remus wanted to tell her that he would get into trouble regardless, but he didn't. "Nobody will see us at this time in the morning, and you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to." Despite the protest in his muscles, he extended a hand to help her off of the ground. She took his hand weakly, wincing as she stood up. Remus' grim expression worsened.

It was doubtful that they could keep this a secret; surely Poppy and Albus had to be informed, and the news would probably get out anyway. Plus, they had to do something about Lucius. Remus felt another wave of dread rise up within him. Merlin, how he wished that he could have died and spared her. She was his _student_, too. That may have been the worst part.

"Alright," said Hermione. She shifted her weight off of her injured leg and reached for Severus' arm. Remus did the same, soon feeling the unpleasant pull of Apparation.

* * *

The school was empty. Saturday mornings usually came about like this: sunrise creeping over a slumbering castle. This Hermione was thankful for.

Professor Snape, Remus, and Hermione slowly made their way towards the Hospital Wing. Upon arrival, they found both Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey already there, speaking quietly. Hermione figured that Dumbledore must have known something was amiss when he discovered Remus' location to be deep in the Forbidden Forest. However, she could bet on the fact that he didn't ever expect Hermione to be tangled up in all of this. Sure enough, his expression was one of shock.

"Perhaps we should have a word, Remus," Dumbledore uttered after a long moment. It was odd for Hermione to see the Headmaster so taken aback. He was typically surprised by nothing. Madam Pomfrey, too, was stunned silent, but she quickly sprang into action after Dumbledore spoke. The Matron stepped forward and gently took Hermione's arm, leading her over to a bed in the curtained off corner of the Hospital Wing.

"Of course," Remus replied to Dumbledore hoarsely. Hermione glanced in his direction and felt a stab of pity. The bags under his eyes were accentuated by his grim expression and overall paleness. He looked like a man condemned to death. Almost more than anything else, Hermione hated how hard all of this would be on Remus.

"Poppy, may I borrow your office for a moment?" Dumbledore looked to the Matron. He had mastered himself, and now spoke with the normally cheery and light tone. Hermione preferred shocked silence to that lighthearted façade.

Pomfrey nodded her assent, focused on getting Hermione into a bed and looking at the bite mark on her lower leg. Hermione watched as Dumbledore and Remus moved toward Madam Pomfrey's adjoined office, Dumbledore beckoning Professor Snape in as well.

"Will it heal?" Hermione asked after a moment, eyes trained on the still bleeding wound. She felt entrenched in a pit of numbness. It was obvious that she was in shock. She'd been in shock for hours.

Pomfrey shook her head. "Werewolf bites tend not to." She spoke with a sort of professionalism, but the sadness and pity still crept into her voice. Hermione sighed deeply.

"Take this," the woman spoke again, a potion vial now appearing in her hand. Hermione examined the label. It was written in Snape's spindly scrawl. _Sleeping Draught_, it said.

"You need to rest, Miss Granger," Pomfrey explained.

Hermione nodded absently, rubbing her thumb over a fraying corner of the label. "My friends will wonder where I am," she murmured.

"I'm sure the Headmaster will find a suitable excuse for your being in the hospital wing." Madam Pomfrey stood up, making sure that the curtains were fully pulled around Hermione's bed.

Hermione downed the Sleeping Draught and let her head fall onto the pillow. Pomfrey left then, and the young witch was suddenly alone with her thoughts. She hadn't really considered it much earlier, but now it really hit her: She was a werewolf.

_A werewolf_.

The word stuck in her mind, floating around and shrouding her thoughts.

At this point, Hermione was sure of one thing: everything had changed. Her whole life would be different now. There was no going back after last night, but at least she could keep it a secret if nothing else. Harry and Ron didn't have to know. She could hide it from them and spare them the worry. Even if her life was spiraling out of control, she could control one thing: that it would remain a secret.

She fell asleep crying silently into her pillow.

* * *

Harry sat next to Ron and Ginny in the great hall, picking at his toast and looking around curiously. Hermione hadn't joined them yet. It was making Harry uneasy. He hadn't seen her since her row with Ron the previous night, and she was normally up for breakfast much sooner than this. He looked around the great hall and up to the staff table. That was odd, too. He searched the table and noticed that both Lupin and Dumbledore were missing from their usual spots.

"Where do you suppose Hermione is?" Harry asked Ron, who sat to his left.

Ron wasn't paying attention; his eyes were fixed on a group of girls entering the Great Hall, giggling as they walked. Harry recognized Lavender Brown as one of them. When she spotted Ron, she separated from the girls and came running. "_Won-won!"_ She squealed, almost tackling him with a hug.

Harry turned away from the couple before he could get an eyeful of snogging. He honestly didn't understand why Ron had gotten back together with Lavender. She was just so dreadfully annoying.

"So irritating," Ginny mumbled, as if reading Harry's mind, "We're never like that, are we?"

Harry smiled wryly, "I doubt it."

Ginny grinned in response and reached over to grab his hand, "what were you saying about Hermione?"

"I was just wondering where she was, I haven't seen her since last night and she's usually up by now. You haven't seen her, have you?"

Ginny thought it over, "now that I think about it, I didn't see her at all last night. Wasn't she going to stop by the Common Room?"

"She said she was going to the library," Harry recalled. "Maybe she just stayed up too late and now she's sleeping in."

Ginny nodded.

The pair finished eating breakfast and decided to abandon Ron and Lavender. They exited the Great Hall just in time to see Professor Dumbledore coming their way.

"Hello, Professor Dumbledore," Harry greeted the Headmaster.

"Hello, Mr. Potter, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore smiled, "I was actually just coming to find you two. I wanted to inform you that Miss. Granger is currently in the hospital wing."

"What?" Harry asked, alarmed, "Why?" He shared a concerned look with Ginny.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about," Dumbledore waved his hand dismissively, "she's just sleeping off a cold, she came to the infirmary last evening and Madam Pomfrey had her stay the night. She will surely be fine later today."

"Oh...okay, I guess we'll go visit her," Harry said, looking to Ginny, who nodded strangely.

"Very well," Dumbledore said and continued off down the hallway.

"That was odd," Ginny observed.

"Very," Harry agreed, continuing down the hallway, "Why would Dumbledore come to tell us that? It's not like him to be concerned over little illnesses like that."

Ginny shrugged, "maybe he just happened to stop by the Hospital Wing and wanted to let us know that she was there."

Harry accepted that answer, deciding that it was the most reasonable explanation. When they finally arrived at the Hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey was rushing around, tending to a pair of fourth years who had gotten into a fight. She was healing the smaller boy's black eye when Harry and Ginny walked in.

"May I help you?" She looked to the couple standing in the doorway.

"We're looking for Hermione Granger," Ginny explained.

Poppy nodded and pointed to a bed in the back with curtains around it. Harry and Ginny walked over to the bed and got a better look. Hermione was there, covered up by the sheets as she dozed away. There was exhaustion evident even though her eyes were closed. Other than her slightly pale complexion, she looked normal.

Harry turned to Ginny, "There's not much we can do until she wakes up."

Ginny nodded, "Maybe we should find Ron, tell him what happened."

"Sure. As long as he's not snogging Lavender," Harry mumbled.

And with that, Harry and Ginny exited the Hospital Wing, leaving the sleeping girl to her dreams.

* * *

Hermione woke late in the afternoon, only an hour or so left until dinner would be served in the Great Hall. She was rather surprised that she'd managed to sleep so long, but it made sense considering that she'd been up all night. Soon, Madam Pomfrey found her awake and informed her that Professor Dumbledore wanted to speak with her right away. It wasn't long after that when Dumbledore's footsteps sounded through the hospital wing, accompanied by another pair as they made their way towards Hermione's corner.

The curtains around her bed were pulled aside, first showing the face of Dumbledore, and then a pale, tired looking Remus. A very strange sensation swept over Hermione at the sight of Remus. She hadn't realized it before, but an odd calmness had been easing itself over her for the past several seconds as Remus and Dumbledore approached. Remus took a deep breath, and Hermione inherently knew that he felt it too.

"Ah, Miss Granger," Dumbledore greeted her with a pleased smile, "how are you feeling?"

"Better than I was this morning, sir." She smiled politely, finding it easier to maintain her composure than she'd imagined. She tried to pinpoint where this peculiar sense of tranquility was coming from, but it didn't seem to have a beginning or an end. It was just there.

"I am glad to hear it," said the Headmaster, pulling up a pair of chairs for himself and Remus.

"Hello Hermione," Remus nodded towards her. His voice betrayed the calm expression he wore. She could hear his frayed composure through the gruffness of his tone.

"Professor," she gave him a small nod. He didn't smile like he usually did when she addressed him so formally. She always called him "professor" in the presence of other teachers or classmates. Harry and Ron, on the other hand, had gotten to the point where they nearly always called him Remus, sometimes even slipping up in class.

"Now," Dumbledore began with a great sigh, "I think we have much to discuss, the three of us." With a flick of his wrist Hermione knew that he had put up some sort of privacy ward. This conversation was going to remain within the confines of Hermione's small, closed off portion of the Hospital Wing.

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore looked at her, "I believe that both Remus and I would very much like to hear your side of the story. So tell us, how exactly did you survive last night?"


	3. Despondence

**III**

Despondence

**Author's Note**: I want to remind you all that this is AU and that a lot of aspects of canon have changed. For instance, certain people who died in canon are not dead here.

* * *

Dumbledore and Remus were both watching her with a wary sort of intrigue. Hermione sat up straighter in bed, took a deep breath, and began to relay her tale. As calmly as possible, she told them about her evening trek to the library, and how it was suddenly interrupted by a powerful hex. The next thing she knew, Lucius Malfoy was dragging her into the Forbidden Forest, levitating Remus' unconscious form in front of them. From there, she described in painful detail the whole course of the night, not daring to look at Remus to see his pain.

Dumbledore retained a thoughtful expression throughout the explanation. Finally, once she had finished, he simply uttered a pensive, "How interesting."

"_Interesting_?" Hermione quipped, perhaps with a little more irritation than she had intended. It's just that it wasn't really interesting to her. It was horrible.

The Headmaster nodded. "Yes, Miss Granger. I find it very intriguing that the night went the way it did. From what I understand of Werewolves, they don't often get warded off by a few blows to the head with a tree branch."

"Sorry about that, by the way," said Hermione. Her eyes found Remus' and he just shook his head as if it was outrageous for her to apologize. She figured that he was right; she _had_ been defending herself.

"Remus," Dumbledore turned, "what do you think about this?"

He sighed deeply. "The Wolfsbane potion – as I'm sure you know, Hermione – must be taken once each day for seven days leading up to the full moon. It is well known that any missing potion renders all the others useless, but I think that some aspects of the six potions I took this past week may have still had some effect on me."

Hermione watched him closely. It was obvious that he'd thought about this a lot. His inner academic was coming out in the way he spoke and moved his hands, like a lecture he was giving to his students. Hermione was glad to see this change in him; she'd hated his quiet and sorrowful resignation only moments before.

"Now," he continued, leaning forward in his chair, "I can't remember anything from last night, so we know that the potion couldn't have worked in that manner of retaining the mental facilities. Also: I did attack Hermione," a tortured look crossed his face, "so my mind wasn't intact enough to know not to do that. However, I have a strange inkling that maybe those six other doses of the Wolfsbane did take enough of an effect that I knew to back away after you hit me, Hermione."

"Yes," Dumbledore mused, "I do see the logic there, Remus. It appears that Hermione's efforts to fight back were indeed beneficial in the end."

Hermione didn't say anything, simply watching as Remus' confident demeanor left him. As if the floodgates had been opened, the reality of the situation came storming in. His shoulders drooped, and when his eyes fell on Hermione they were shameful and apologetic.

"Onto other matters," the Headmaster continued, focusing on the young witch in bed, "Miss Granger, I have not contacted your parents yet because I was unsure of whether you wanted them to be notified. Besides, you are of age and therefore I am not required to notify your family of anything that happens here. From what Remus and Severus told me, it seems that you would like this situation to remain quiet."

Hermione nodded. "I don't want my parents to know… at least not until the situation is under control. They wouldn't understand and it would just worry them." It was true; her parents wouldn't be able to look past the werewolf aspect without thinking of fairy tales and horror stories and how they depicted lycanthropy. Plus, if they heard about Lucius Malfoy and his plans for Harry's friends then her parents would certainly demand Hermione to be withdrawn from Hogwarts. She simply couldn't do that.

"A wise choice, I should think," Dumbledore surmised. To his left, Remus stared pensively at the ground. Guilt showed itself in the lines of his forehead. Hermione desperately wished that there was something she could say to make him feel better, but she knew that he would carry this burden with him for a long, long time. It didn't matter what she said.

Professor Dumbledore continued, informing Hermione that Professor Snape was already looking into how Lucius Malfoy had managed all this. In addition, Snape and Dumbledore would be keeping a close eye on Draco Malfoy, as he was a suspect as well. Apparently Snape thought that Draco might have helped his father get into Hogwarts or abduct Hermione. Despite how much Hermione had always disliked Draco, she didn't really think he had it in him to knowingly do something like that. Nevertheless, she figured that they could never be too careful, especially when other students close to Harry were in danger as well.

Dumbledore sighed wearily once he had finished. "I do believe that it is almost time for dinner," he said, standing from his chair, "is there anything else you wish to discuss, Miss Granger?"

Hermione looked at Remus, meeting his eyes. "You're going to stay, right?"

He understood what she was asking despite the ambiguity. "Perhaps-" he took a deep breath, "perhaps it would be best if I resigned. Twice now I have put my students in great danger. The last time- last time no one was hurt permanently, but now... My presence at Hogwarts does not seem to foster a safe environment." He finished with an indignant huff of laughter.

"No!" Hermione shot up straighter in bed, "You can't leave Hogwarts!"

"Hermione, you don't understand- if word got out about this…" The pained expression he wore was becoming all too familiar.

"You _can't_," she stated, her voice steely. "We need you here. _I_ need you to help me with all of this. Harry and the others need you too, especially with the danger Malfoy now poses."

Remus rubbed his forehead, his head drooping. "Malfoy isn't the danger, _I_ am."

Hermione looked to Dumbledore for help, but the man simply eyed Remus with a pitying expression. Ignoring the pain in her shoulder, Hermione shifted and pulled her legs over so that she sat on the side of the bed. "No you're not. This wasn't your fault, you were simply a pawn in Malfoy's game." She was growing more and more frustrated. "Nobody blames you. I know that I never could."

He didn't respond. Finally, Hermione decided that she'd had enough. If he was going to mope and not actually face things realistically then he could do that all on his own. She stood from the bed, reaching for her school robes and shrugging them on over the hospital gown. "If you'll excuse me," she murmured airily, "I need to make an appearance at dinner." She began to walk away, ignoring the stinging pain in her leg where the bite was. Just before she was out of earshot, she turned around, meeting Remus' gaze. "Please stay," she said, her voice softer this time.

He didn't respond, and she turned away before he could. Hermione was intent on sitting in the Great Hall for dinner and making sure that her friends had no clue that anything was amiss.

* * *

Remus had never been the type to confide in people. That was why he'd only ever willingly told a handful of people about his Lycanthropy. He didn't like to burden people with his problems, and most of his problems were not the kind of things that could be solved by talking about them.

But right now, all Remus wanted to do was confess everything to someone. He needed to get these terrible, acrid words out of his mind and into the air. He needed to know if he was as wretched and disgusting as he thought he was. He needed to see the expression on someone's face when he told them that he'd infected Hermione Granger with the bane of his existence.

No. He didn't want to see that. He already knew what the reaction would be: disgust, horror, pity, outrage.

Remus cursed loudly, standing up and chucking his glass of Firewhisky against the wall. It shattered upon impact, sending bits of glass and alcohol flying around his rooms. He stood there staring at the mess for a long time, his chest heaving. Eventually, his shoulders slumped. He glanced down at his hand, noting that it was visibly shaking.

He fell back into the couch, trying to calm down. After a moment he reached for his wand and vanished the mess of glass and Firewhisky. His eyes fell on the crackling fire. He stared at it, debating whether or not to floo call Sirius and ask if he could come over.

No. He couldn't tell Sirius. This was Hermione's secret too. If he told Sirius then there was a very good chance that Sirius would let something slip to Harry, and that was not what Hermione wanted.

As time passed, Remus resigned himself to another long, sleepless night. The only difference was tonight he wasn't a crazed, bloodthirsty wolf chasing a young woman through the Forbidden Forest. This time, he was a man drinking too much Firewhisky for a school night, thinking about all the ways in which he'd wronged Hermione Granger.

At least there was one thing he could do to help her: he would stay at Hogwarts. Hermione needed him, and he could help.

In a way it was his duty, and he would stick around to see it through.

* * *

Dinner in the Great Hall took much more effort than Hermione initially thought. Luckily, however, Harry and Ginny were completely convinced that she'd come down with some minor sickness, nothing to worry about. As for Ron, he wouldn't notice anything amiss even if someone shouted it across the Great Hall. His relationship with Lavender had moved on to a new, more gag-inducing stage than ever before.

Hermione had made her excuses to retire early and not join Harry and Ginny in the common room after dinner. Now all she had to do was make her way to her own dormitory and finally have some solitude.

As Head Girl, Hermione had her own separate dormitory and bathroom. She shared a small common area with the Head Boy, but she didn't mind that at all. The Head Boy was Evan Barlow, a quiet and studious Ravenclaw. He was undoubtedly the best roommate Hermione had ever had; always polite and unassuming, never taking up too much space in their shared common room.

Turning one last corner, Hermione found the portrait that led to hers and Evan's common area. The portrait was of a very outspoken and peculiar man named Artemis Bungstrell. He liked to tell Hermione stories about how he'd apparently been some great philosopher of the sixteenth century. Portraits, however, gained neither the knowledge nor the personality of their subject. Artemis was a rather presumptuous and proud character because of this. He often liked to proposition Hermione or any other visitors for lengthy discussions in which he tried to prove his depth of thought. Tonight seemed to be one of those nights.

"Ah, Granger!" He cheered, sitting up in his chair excitedly, "I was hoping you would stop by. I wanted to discuss Mawe's Theory of Kinetic Magic with you. Sir Rochester – the portrait down the corridor – and I had the most invigorating debate about it today."

"I'm sorry," Hermione sighed, "I really don't have time for this tonight, Artemis. _Asphodel_."

He huffed, sliding forward and opening at the utterance of the password.

Hermione gave the portrait one last apologetic look before proceeding into her little common room. Evan was there, sitting at one of the two desks and scribbling away at what was probably his Ancient Runes essay. He looked up when she entered, greeting her with a polite, "hello."

"Hi, Evan," Hermione tried for a normal smile, quickly moving to her own room. Once she was inside, she let out a deep breath, shrugging out of her school robes and falling onto the bed. It was strange that she could be this exhausted after sleeping for practically the whole day. But then again, Madam Pomfrey _had_ mentioned that such a drastic change as this could be particularly taxing for a few days after the infection.

Hermione closed her eyes and remembered the way Madam Pomfrey had danced around certain words, never actually saying "werewolf" or "lycanthropy". It made her angry. She wanted people to be blunt because it wasn't like she could dance around the fact that she _was_ a werewolf. No matter how hard she tried to move her thoughts away from all of this, she just kept circling back to what had happened last night.

It was good that Hermione was now alone in her rooms, far away from Remus. She didn't want him to see the heavy tears rolling down her cheeks or the way she glared at her reflection in the mirror and the scar that swept over her shoulder, still sensitive in its healing.

"_You need to put up a strong front, Hermione_," she whispered to herself, wiping her tears with the back of her hand and taking deep, shuddering breaths.

While Hermione stood resolutely in front of the mirror, Crookshanks appeared from beneath her bed, meandering forward and curling himself around Hermione's legs. He paused for a moment to sniff the bandaged bite mark on her lower calf, and then continued on. Hermione couldn't stop herself from collapsing to the ground and taking the dear old half-Kneazle into her arms.

"Oh, Crooks," she signed, wiping her unrelenting tears away and chuckling resentfully, "at least you're here to share my misery."

* * *

Hermione considered herself very lucky that the boys and Ginny were too engrossed in Quidditch and their respective relationships to pay her much attention. As the weekend ended and classes begun again Hermione didn't have much of a reason to spend an abundance of time with any of them. She had a couple of classes with Harry and Ron, and they ate meals together, but other than that Hermione claimed that she was off to study for N.E.W.T.s and the boys either went to Quidditch practice or spent time with Ginny and Lavender.

The stress of schoolwork luckily took Hermione's mind off of her other problems for a few hours each day. However, it was still very difficult to be in both Potions class and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Potions class was a struggle because of Professor Snape. The odd thing was that in the past, most problems with the Potions Master were because of his cruelty, but this time he wasn't being cruel to Hermione.

In class on Monday Professor Snape assigned the class to brew a Draught of Agility – something often used illegally by Quidditch players to improve their performance – and turn it in at the end of class. Hermione normally would have had no trouble at all with this potion, but she just felt so out of it. She could feel Snape's eyes on her almost constantly throughout the double class period. Every time she looked up and met his eyes his expression was even harder to figure out. She concluded that he was probably just conflicted about everything that he'd seen. For a few moments she wondered if perhaps he pitied her.

The class passed slowly, and Hermione barely managed to finish her potion in time due to her lack of concentration. She had to bottle it and rush up to Snape's desk at the very last second, handing it to him for evaluation just as the bell rang. He now looked at her with the typical snide expression. "Close call, Miss Granger," was the only thing he said.

Defense Against the Dark Arts class was the other problematic part of Hermione's routine. At first, she had been anxious to see Remus. The strange part was that when he entered the classroom it all just faded away. Hermione recognized the calming sensation as the same one she had experienced in the Hospital Wing when Remus and Dumbledore entered. She decided that she had to ask him about it later, or at least do some research.

Despite this onset of tranquility, DADA was still hard to get through. Remus avoided looking at Hermione at all costs, and each time she raised her hand and he was forced to call on her she saw the pain in his eyes. If there was anything that Hermione wanted right now, it was for that sadness and self-hatred to go away. He was a sensitive man, and he didn't deserve the pain that all of this was putting him through.

It was with these thoughts in mind that Hermione decided to visit Remus in his office the following evening. She knocked on his office door at precisely five o'clock. The hinges creaked as it opened, revealing her harried looking professor.

"Hermione," said Remus, a look of surprise etched across his face for just a moment.

"Hello, Professor," she smiled politely.

He watched her closely for a couple seconds. It was only when Hermione shifted awkwardly that he appeared to realize what he was doing. "I'm sorry, come in." He stepped back and allowed her to enter his office. "You know what?" he continued, looking around with an expression of unease, "Why don't we go into my quarters and have some tea? It's better in there."

Hermione nodded mutely, following behind as he led her through another door, into a warm and homely sitting area. It wasn't long before she was sitting across from him in front of the fireplace, a warm cup of tea in her hands.

"Is everything alright?" he asked uncomfortably. She could tell how much effort he was putting into schooling his expression. To be fair, though, Hermione was doing the same thing. They both had emotions that needed to be buried.

"Yes, everything's fine," Hermione replied quickly, "I just- well I have a few questions…"

"Of course," he obliged, sitting up straighter in an obvious attempt to look more like the professor that he was.

Pushing past her nervousness, Hermione began to explain what she had been feeling over the past few days. The strange bouts of calmness were something that he immediately picked up on, nodding like he'd been feeling the exact same thing.

"It's a werewolf thing." He winced at the realization that he'd said the "W" word, but must have decided that her unchanged expression meant it was okay to say it. "In my time spend with various packs and around other non-hostile werewolves I've noticed it too."

Hermione was intrigued. "How does it work?"

He shrugged. "Nobody is quite sure. Frankly, not many people care enough about us to want to conduct any experiments or studies on aspects of Lycanthropy like this. There's barely enough research surrounding the Wolfsbane to completely understand what it is about the plant that affects the body."

He was getting into his lecturing mode. It was nice for Hermione to see such a normal side of him coming back. "It must be magical, right?"

He nodded. "From what I've heard and how I've come to interpret things, it probably has something to do with the magical aura of werewolves. There are a lot of very ancient and strange types of magic that nobody completely understands."

"Like blood magic."

"I suppose so, yes."

Hermione took a sip of her tea, staring down at the steaming liquid to distract herself. "It feels so… tangible," she mused, "like there's a spell being actively cast on me." She closed her eyes for a moment and focused on that constant rush of what could almost be described as contentedness. When she considered it this way – as something more positive and comforting rather than unknown and frightening – she felt more inclined than ever to stay here in his sitting room for as long as she could.

Remus hummed in agreement, and Hermione remembered that he was feeling the exact same thing as her. He absently traced the rim of his mug with a finger.

"You know," he finally spoke, his eyes now roving over the bookshelves to his left, "I have quite a few books about lycanthropy that might be helpful to you. Of course, you may have read all of them already."

Hermione's eyes lit up. "I'd love to read some of them," she said earnestly, "and there isn't that much in-depth reading material on this subject in the Hogwarts library."

He smiled softly. "By all means, then, take a look."

Hermione slowly went through all of the various titles he had, trying to prolong her time here as much as she could but also quite enjoying Remus' short summarizations of all of the books. Judging by the relaxed way he was leaning back in his armchair, he was feeling better as well.

Hermione ended up with four hefty tomes, and he promised her that she could trade them in for more any time she wanted. She left his rooms significantly happier than before, even if the calming sensation of his proximity did fade away as she made her way back to her dormitory.

* * *

"Hermione," Ron called out, leaning away from Lavender and across the table, "will you help me with my Transfiguration essay after dinner?"

Hermione was somewhat surprised that Ron was asking this of her. They hadn't spent any real time together since he and Lavender got together in January. Now, she was faced with him actually reaching out to her for help with schoolwork, and Harry and Ginny were both sitting here to experience it as well.

"I don't know, Ron," Hermione sighed, glancing down at the beef stew in front of her. The Great Hall was overrun with the chatter of dinnertime. "I was kind of hoping to have an early night…"

"Please, Hermione," Ron persisted, "McGongall's been brutal lately and I haven't asked you for help in weeks."

She knew that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to help Ron, but she'd just been so _tired_ lately. Plus, every time she was around her friends there was the persistent worry that they might find out what had changed in her.

"It's true," Harry spoke up, "I don't think you've been to the Common Room for weeks."

She felt cornered. Even Ginny was watching her curiously. "I was in the common Room last Wednesday," she retorted, a hint of defensiveness creeping up in her tone.

"Head Girl duties don't count," Harry murmured pointedly.

Hermione exhaled slowly, trying to calm her temper. The short temper was another change she noticed in herself recently. She'd always been rather quick to anger, but now it was even worse. She often had to remind herself to stamp it down, take a few deep breaths.

Everyone was still watching her closely, and Hermione decided that she needed some fresh air. "Well I'm sorry that I have a busy life, Harry," she said, standing up form the table and shrugging her bag over her shoulder, "I just can't spend my all evenings lounging around in the common room like a bunch of third years. You all are welcome to accompany me to the library any time you want to study for N.E.W.T.s, and you can bring your transfiguration work, Ron."

Harry was watching her strangely as she made her way out of the Great Hall. One quick glance at the Head Table told her that Remus had also noticed her retreat. She made her way through the corridors briskly, soon arriving at the portrait of Artemis.

"Back from dinner early?" the portrait chimed.

"Yes," Hermione breathed, fixing a few wild hairs so that she didn't look so upset in case Evan was inside.

As per usual, Artemis began his rambling. "I had a positively invigorating conversation about Reproductivity Magic today with some Slytherin boy. Those Slytherins are really quite refreshing to speak with."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "A Slytherin?" The Slytherin Common Room was probably about as far away as you could get from Artemis' portrait, and Slytherin students rarely traveled down this particular path to get to their classes.

"Yes!" Artemis grinned, "A Prefect, said he was doing his rounds. We struck up the most interesting conversation. Did you know that Witter's Theory on Creature Hierarchy was actually founded through studying the mating habits of Mountain Trolls? It's quite ironic, actually, because-"

"Artemis," Hermione interrupted, not meaning to sound so harsh but also knowing that he would go on forever if she allowed it. "Who was it? What did he look like?" Of all the Slytherin Prefects, she couldn't think of any that were assigned to patrol this portion of the school today.

Artemis huffed a little and crossed his arms. "Oh, it was that seventh year. You know- the one with the white hair who always looks so angry and tired."

"Draco Malfoy?" she murmured.

The portrait shrugged. "I don't know his name, but getting back to the Mountain Trolls…"

Hermione allowed him to ramble on for a solid two minutes, figuring that she owed him at least a little kindness. It also allowed her a moment to inspect her surroundings. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and there was no way Malfoy could have gotten past Artemis and into her dormitory without him mentioning it. So why was Malfoy snooping around here? Hermione felt a shiver of fear, and for a moment she wondered if Malfoy was trying to capture her so his father could have another chance at taking care of her.

Footsteps coming from behind made Hermione jump. She immediately withdrew her wand and pointed it at the approaching figure.

"Hermione?" a voice called. "Oh, there you are," the form of Ginny Weasley stepped out of the shadows, "why do you have you wand out?"

Hermione let out a breath of relief, dropping her arm. "Sorry, Ginny."

"Are you okay?" Ginny's look of confusion morphed into one of concern. "Harry's a bit concerned and so am I, frankly. Can I come inside?"

"Yeah, of course." Hermione turned to Artemis, "_Asphodel_."

The portrait swung open, Artemis giving each of the girls a cheerful smile as they passed through. Hermione let herself fall languidly onto the couch, the exhaustion catching up to her. Ginny went to sit in one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. "Is Barlow here?" she asked, looking around for any traces of the Head Boy.

"No, Evan hosts a study group in the Ravenclaw Common room on Thursdays." Hermione smiled indignantly, "maybe I should take some tips from him, huh?"

"Don't let what Ron and Harry say get to you," Ginny waved her hand dismissively, "we all need a little break from each other at times. Besides, I understand not spending time in the Common Room when you have a place like this." The redhead petted the leather of the armchair affectionately. Hermione had to admit: it _was_ a nice space. There was a fireplace, two desks, and enough room for Evan and herself to not get irritated by the other.

"But I have been neglecting you guys," she conceded, "and I'm sorry. It's just… well, you know- N.E.W.T.s and schoolwork and… everything."

"Don't worry about it Hermione," Ginny said earnestly. "You know that you can talk to me, though, right? If you ever need me; I want to make sure you know that."

Hermione felt a terrible ache in her chest. She wanted so badly to confess everything to Ginny, to allow the tears to run free. But she couldn't. Ginny might let something slip to Harry or Ron or Mrs. Weasley. She didn't want this secret to get out while Remus was still in such a fragile state.

Hermione smiled, "I know, thanks." Ginny was really a wonderful friend. Over the years they'd bonded gradually, and it was only recently (when Ginny and Harry started dating) that Hermione realized how great of a person Ginny truly was.

"Well, I should go," Ginny stood, "I told Harry I'd be back in a few minutes."

Hermione said goodbye, soon left alone, staring off into the flickering fire. Her thoughts drifted to Malfoy. She'd have to watch him closely in the future, and possibly ask Remus if Snape had found out anything else about the whole situation. For now, though, she needed to sleep and, more importantly, prepare herself for her first full moon.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I really hope you all are enjoying this so far, and I just love hearing your thoughts. Any predictions on what's going on with Draco? Anything you all want to see happen in the future?


	4. Wasteland

**IV**

Wasteland

* * *

"On your N.E.W.T.s you can expect to see a heavy focus on Conjuring Spells," McGonagall lectured, a list of spells and categories magically appearing on the chalkboard behind her as she spoke. "In addition to proficiency in performing these spells, it is vital that you fully understand the accompanying principles."

Hermione let her mind wander, knowing that this information had long ago been engraved into her mind. She was too tired and distracted right now to focus on McGonagall's lecture. There were other things on her mind.

The full moon was in a few days and Hermione was feeling its effects full-force. She must have eaten three times her normal serving of oatmeal for breakfast that morning. In addition, she had the most compelling craving for red meat.

In the pair of desks in front of Hermione, Seamus shifted in his seat, passing a note to Ron, who sat to his right. The way Seamus' lips quirked caught Hermione's eye. Ron turned his head to grin in response to the note, and Hermione was momentarily enraptured by the way the muscles of Ron's shoulders and back moved. She stared dreamily at the two boys in front of her, only brought back to the present by a tap on her shoulder. She turned to look at her tablemate, pushing the strange thoughts about Seamus and Ron out of her mind.

Harry whispered a question about the Principle of Artificianimate Quasi-Dominance, which she promptly answered, turning her attention back ahead.

_You've gone mad, Hermione. When did you become so boy-crazy?_

She knew that it was the full moon doing this to her. Remus' books had mentioned the enhanced sex drive that Lycanthropes often experienced before the full moon. It went hand in hand with the increased energy levels and restlessness. Hermione had found that she simply couldn't sit still today. Focusing on her teachers and classes had been harder than ever, especially with all of the people around her.

She idly wondered how Remus coped with all of this. He barely ever took days off anymore unless it was the morning after the full moon. Did it get easier over time? Were there coping methods? Hermione pondered this while she watched the way Seamus picked up a hand and mussed his hair, sending a wave of his musky cologne towards Hermione.

That was another thing: Hermione was astonished by how heightened her senses were. Sure, everyone knew that Werewolves had unusually keen senses of smell, sight, and hearing, but the magnitude of it was so much more than Hermione had anticipated. She could now easily identify each one of her acquaintances and friends just by their natural scent. She could smell Ginny's rosy perfume lingering on Harry, she could smell Gregory Goyle's body odor from across the classroom, and she could smell the licorice sticks that Ron had snacked on after Double Charms that morning. She could smell everything and anything.

"We have several weeks before N.E.W.T.s," McGonagall continued, "but I must stress how vital it is that you all begin revising as soon as possible. In addition to reviewing the material in class with me, I expect that you all are spending substantial time revising."

The bell rang, and Hermione mechanically pushed her books and quill into her bag, lugging the heavy thing over her shoulder and resisting the urge to wince at the pain in her joints. It was like her body was anticipating the impending pain of the transformation. As if she didn't have enough to worry about, fear for the transformation weighed heavy in her mind.

"Are you headed to the library?" Harry asked as they exited the classroom. Ron caught up with them after a moment, falling into stride on Hermione's left. She frowned at the scent of Lavender's pungent perfume that lingered on his clothes.

"Um, I think so, yes." Hermione was lying, but she knew the boys wouldn't catch her in it. They had to go to Quidditch Practice. "Will you be joining me later?"

"I might, yeah," Harry sighed, obviously deep in thought, "It's probably time to start studying."

"I'm glad you think so," said Hermione. "Ron, you should start thinking about joining me in the library as well."

"Yeah, whatever," Ron grumbled, a grim look on his face at the prospect of studying.

The boys walked with Hermione nearly the whole way to the library, only splitting off when the path leading to the locker rooms diverged from her own. She said her goodbyes, waiting until they were out of sight before turning around and heading in the complete opposite direction of the library.

Luckily the Hospital Wing wasn't very crowded today. Hermione made her way towards Madam Pomfrey quietly. She didn't want any rumors spreading about her being sick or paying too many visits to the Hospital Wing.

"Now, Mr. Perkins, I want you to rest. Don't move that arm unless you have to," Pomfrey said pointedly, casting a final diagnostic spell on a bruised and obviously broken arm of a Second Year Hufflepuff boy. The boy gave a meek nod and Pomfrey turned away.

"Hi, Madam Pomfrey," Hermione greeted, forcing herself to smile politely even though it was exceedingly difficult when thinking about the potion she was about to ingest.

"Ah, Miss Granger," Pomfrey bustled past the young witch, moving towards her office near the front of the Hospital Wing. "Here is your potion," she picked up the green bottle, handing it over.

Hermione took the Wolfsbane and uncorked it, trying not to breathe through her nose while she downed its contents. The thing really did taste awful. She'd had to drink one dose every night this week and the taste only seemed to get worse with each bottle.

Pomfrey stood there for a long moment, waiting until Hermione had finished her potion.

"Is there something else?" Hermione furrowed her brow.

"Yes," Madam Pomfrey nodded, "the Headmaster has asked to see you in his office after you're done here."

"Oh."

"You should go," Pomfrey said solemnly, "the password is Fizzing Whisbees."

Hermione stood there for a long moment before deciding that she didn't want to keep Dumbledore waiting. She swept out of the hospital wing and briskly made her way across the school.

"Come in," Dumbledore's muffled voice called through the doorway just as Hermione arrived at the top of the staircase. She turned the doorknob and slipped inside. She was surprised to see that Professor Dumbledore wasn't alone; Remus was there as well, his shoulder's tight with tension as he stood beside Dumbledore's desk.

"Is everything alright?" Hermione asked, stepping further inside and standing across from Dumbledore's desk.

"Everything is fine," the Headmaster assured, glancing between Remus and Hermione genially. It was only now that Hermione recognized that Remus was going through the same thing she was: the extra energy, the aching muscles and joints, the enhanced senses.

"I simply wanted to discuss the arrangements for the upcoming full moon," Dumbledore continued. "Remus and I have discussed it, and we both think that the Shrieking Shack is a suitable place for the pair of you to spend the night."

"Only if you want me to be there with you," Remus interjected, looking anxious. Now that Hermione was closer to him she could make out the tired lines of his face.

"Of course," Hermione breathed, "I mean- if you don't want to-"

"I want to help you, Hermione," said Remus. His finality was somewhat reassuring.

She nodded mutely, turning back to Dumbledore and trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach at the intense way Remus had looked at her. This damned increased sex drive was going to be the death of her if she didn't learn to control herself… First Seamus, then Ron, and now _Remus_?

"Wonderful," Professor Dumbledore clasped his hands together, "I'm glad that's settled. But as for your friends, Miss Granger: I trust you know that this cannot be hidden from them forever."

"I know." Hermione studied the carpet beneath her feet. "I just… I need more time…" She didn't want Harry, Ron, and Ginny to know yet. When they found out it would just make this situation an even bigger part of her life. Plus, after they knew it wouldn't be long before the rest of the Weasleys knew. She wasn't ready to be on the receiving end of their pity yet.

"Understandable," Dumbledore said, "I don't think it will be too suspicious if you have one more sick day in the hospital wing, do you?"

Hermione shook her head. "They're too busy with other things to notice at this point." In truth, she was a bit worried about Ginny's suspicion, but she could deal with that when the time came.

"Very well."

After a few other minor details were straightened out, Hermione and Remus departed from Dumbledore's office together. She could feel the awkwardness that still lingered between them.

"Where are you headed?" He asked just as they finished descending the staircase from Dumbledore's office.

"The library."

"Hmmm. I should have guessed." His lighthearted tone was a welcome change. Hermione couldn't help smiling in response.

"Well," Remus exhaled, "since my office is in that direction I might as well accompany you."

They talked casually for a few moments. He asked her how she was finding the books he'd given her. She told him that of the ones she'd managed to get through so far, the information was proving very useful.

"And how are you coping with the side effects?" He asked, giving her a sidelong glance. They were nearly at the library now.

Hermione furrowed her brow. "'Side effects?'"

"Sorry, that's what I call them. You know," he lowered his voice, "the pre-moon symptoms. Are you feeling them yet?"

She nodded, "yeah. They're a lot more potent than I expected, especially the sense of smell." _Never mind the sex drive,_ a voice in her head added.

"Ah," he sighed, "I'm afraid the sense of smell never quite goes away. The other ones do become easier to tune out, though."

"Even the restlessness?" she asked, "I feel like I could go a week without sleeping if I wanted to."

"The restlessness is a bad one as well," he conceded, "but I happen to have a solution…"

Hermione perked up. "What is it?"

"I go for runs a lot before the full moon, believe it or not. It helps to get rid of all the energy and aggression. Plus, running helps you fall asleep, and you need plenty of sleep for this sort of thing." They were outside the library now. Remus stopped and faced her, tilting his head to the side a little and watching her. "You know, I was planning on going for a short jog around the grounds after dinner tomorrow night. You're welcome to join me if you'd like."

"Really?" Hermione considered it. She'd never been on a run before, but she was desperate for something to waste all this extra energy on. "I'd love to, actually."

He smiled, and Hermione was glad for it because it was the first honest smile she'd seen from him in a long time. "Good. Are you nervous?"

Hermione glanced behind her, making sure no students were within earshot. "Yeah," she admitted, her expression falling, "the books you gave me made me feel a lot more prepared, but still…"

"It's frightening," he finished for her. She nodded. "Don't worry too much about it. It's only a few minutes of real pain, and then you're just tired. It'll be okay in the end, Hermione." Despite the positive tone of his words, she could see the self-hatred welling up in his eyes.

_How long would it be before he forgave himself for this? Would he _ever_ forgive himself?_

She took a deep breath and looked him square in the eyes. "Yeah, it will be okay."

He managed a half-smile and quickly said his goodbyes. Hermione stood still and watched as he retreated off towards the DADA corridor. It was only the footsteps of another approaching student that spurred her on into the library. She pushed everything about the full moon and Remus out of her mind, intent on at least getting some revision done before the boys came back from Quidditch practice.

* * *

Hermione was pleasantly surprised to find that jogging wasn't actually that bad. She met Remus after dinner the night before the full moon and they spent at least an hour running around the Black Lake, occasionally stopping to rest and admire the scenery. Slowly, Hermione's excessive amounts of energy were worn down, along with some of her anxiety about the full moon. It was late when they both decided to head back to the school.

They walked slowly back up the path to Hogwarts, talking about Hermione's classes, what they were learning in DADA; anything but the full moon. Eventually they went their separate ways. Hermione made her way up to her dormitory with barely enough energy to take a shower before passing out under her warm duvet.

When the morning came Hermione felt marginally more rested than before, but it was a welcome improvement. There was also a strange sense of foreboding within her. It was like her body was warning her of the impending full moon, renewing her anxiety and never allowing thoughts of what would happen that night to leave her mind.

Her nervousness made the whole day pass too quickly. After dinner she made her way to the front of the school like Dumbledore had instructed her. She saw Remus already waiting there, but was surprised to note that Professor Snape was also present.

"Hello," she greeted, offering her best attempt at a polite smile.

"Hi, Hermione," Remus replied. He looked almost as anxious as she felt. It was sort of relieving to know that he was going through the same thing she was, and she wondered if he felt the same about her being there.

"Let's go," said Snape. The Potions Master wore a blank expression as he escorted them out of the school, heading towards the Whomping Willow at a brisk pace. A strange jolt of magic told Hermione that Snape had wordlessly disillusioned the three of them. She assumed that that was why Dumbledore had asked Snape to escort them. He was there to make sure that Lucius Malfoy couldn't get to them again. Hermione shuddered at the thought.

When they arrived at the Whomping Willow Snape stopped. He looked distinctly uncomfortable all of a sudden, and Hermione assumed that it was probably memories of what had happened here in her third year. She still had nightmares about all of it: the Dementors, Remus' transformation, and Sirius attacking Ron. Maybe Snape had nightmares as well.

"I will be back to retrieve you in the morning," Snape drawled, staring the two of them down. "Do _not_ leave the Shack until I am there." With that, he stormed off.

Hermione followed Remus all the way through the passageway and into the Shrieking Shack. It looked similar to when she had last been here, but there were a few minor changes. There was less dust and rotten wood, and the claw marks that used to cover the walls and floors were now gone. In addition, Hermione spotted a new rug in the middle of the large room along with a worn out couch that hadn't been there before. She wondered if it had been renovated for Remus when he came back to Hogwarts at the beginning of the year.

"We have about fifteen minutes," Remus stated, looking down at his wristwatch before he began to remove it. Hermione was confused at first, but then she remembered that all their clothes would be destroyed if they didn't remove them before the transformation. She could feel the blush rise in her cheeks.

As if he could hear her thoughts, Remus spoke up, "there's some spare dressing robes that Albus said he would have here for us." Hermione watched as he searched the room and eventually came forward with two oversized robes. "They can be repaired in the morning," he murmured.

Hermione nodded and took one of the robes, shuffling off to the old, out of order bathroom that was adjoined to the Drawing Room and shutting the door behind her. She changed awkwardly, her fingers fumbling with the buttons of her blouse and her teeth chattering from the general draftiness of the house along with her skittishness.

When she came out of the decrepit bathroom Remus was already changed. They must have looked quite funny, both of them in the Shrieking Shack in dressing robes, waiting for the moon to rise.

Hermione sat down on the edge of the couch gingerly, noticing the way her joints and muscles were starting to ache even more acutely in anticipation of what was to come. She didn't notice that her knee was bouncing up and down rapidly until Remus pointed it out.

"You're scared," he said.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"It'll be over in a matter of minutes, just remember that." She didn't know how he was speaking so calmly right now, but credited it to years of experience with this sort of thing. "Plus," he continued, "I really don't think the transformation will be quite as bad now that we're going through it together."

They stood in silence for a few more minutes. Hermione tried to focus on her breathing, repeating an _in… out… in… out_ mantra in her head. She could feel Remus' eyes on her, but didn't meet his gaze. She knew that he felt awful about her first transformation. Over the past month his guilt and self-hatred had waned slightly, but now they would come back full force when he saw how much pain Hermione was about to go through.

With a sudden jolt, Hermione knew that the transformation was starting. Her skin began to crawl, as if her blood was flowing through her body at three times the normal pace. Remus took several steps backward and closed his eyes. Hermione mimicked him, slamming her eyes shut and trying not to cry.

Soon the pain started. It was worse than any pain Hermione could have imagined. First, she felt the bones of her fingers start to pop out of place and reform. After her fingers every bone in her body started to feel like it was shifting and breaking. That was when she started to scream. She wasn't even coherent enough to notice if Remus was screaming as well, but she knew that with this sort of pain, he must have been.

Sometime during all of this she had fallen off the couch, onto the floor. She was on her knees now, clutching and clawing at her skin as it ripped and changed to fur. It was one part horribly disturbing and one part terribly painful.

It was the end of the transformation that hurt the most. She'd read about this part in the books Remus gave her. This was the part where her spine reformed itself, and she could almost hear the bones crack. There were several seconds in which she thought that the transformation had gone horribly wrong and she was about to snap in half and die.

Finally, the pain started to diminish. It was quick and merciful. Hermione found herself able to stop crying and moaning in pain. She stared at the floorboards beneath her for a long minute as the ripples of pain and tingling aftershock subsided. Finally, she was able to lift her head and refocus on her surroundings.

A large grey wolf was standing across from her; it's amber eyes bright and focused. For a moment, a shiver of fear rippled down her spine. Would he hurt her? Was she safe? But then her senses came back and she realized that this was just Remus. He was just as conscious as she was right now, and she _definitely_ was conscious.

She assessed her new body, noting the significant height difference and the changes in her muscles and limbs. Glancing down, she saw that furry paws beneath her. They were a dark shade of brown, just like the rest of her fur and, as she looked back, her tail.

She wanted to tell Remus how surreal all of this was and how different the transformation had been from what she expected, but she realized that she couldn't speak. She opened her mouth – which was now actually a snout – and let out something akin to a bark.

For a moment she thought he might bark back at her, but instead he turned and started towards the large carpet, sniffing it for a few seconds before lying down on it. His head rested on his front legs as he sat, his amber eyes still trained on Hermione.

She knew that he was trying to lead by example and get her to lie down and rest, but she couldn't rest at a time like this. She began to methodically make her way around the room, sniffing every strange scent she could pick up on. If she thought that her sense of smell before had been great, it was nothing compared to this. There were hundreds of new scents to dissect, and she found that she simply couldn't resist doing just that. As she made her way back and forth around the room Remus' amber eyes followed her the whole way, always calm and observant.

It was at least two hours before she was done, her restlessness somewhat worn out. She finally made her way towards the carpet and curled up a few feet from Remus, closing her eyes and trying to drift off to sleep.

When morning finally came, Hermione was startled awake by the same fiery pain she had felt several hours earlier. Before she had much time to get her bearings she was howling out in pain. She desperately clawed at her fur as the transformation progressed, unable to get a grip as her howls slowly turned into human screams.

The transformation felt longer this time, and when it subsided she collapsed on the ground, naked and shivering.

Remus' grunt of pain as he fell to the ground a few feet away made her realize where she was: nude and lying only a few feet from her equally nude professor. She picked her head up despite the protest from nearly every aching bone in her body and looked around, soon spotting her dressing robe. In a few moments she was shrugging the somewhat ruined robe over herself, and judging from the rustling behind her, Remus was doing the same.

While shrugging the robe over her shoulders, Hermione was surprised to find several red scratch marks trailing up her arms, spanning other random parts of her body. None of them broke the skin, but it was still an alarming sight.

"Are you okay?" Remus' hoarse voice caught her attention. She turned to him, seeing the way his eyes traced the faintly raised skin on her arms.

"That hurt a lot," she groaned, leaning against the front of the couch and closing her eyes. She could feel the exhaustion weighing her down, mingling with the resounding aches of her muscles and joints.

After a long break of silence, Remus spoke up again, "we should get changed. Severus will be here soon."

Hermione didn't even try to restrain her groan. "I'm so tired."

"We'll be back at the castle soon. Once we get there you can sleep for the whole day," he spoke in harsh breaths, struggling to stand upright.

Hermione eventually got herself up from the ground as well, making her way back into the small bathroom to change. It took her several minutes longer to change, the pain of lifting her arms and legs causing a significant delay. Finally, she exited the bathroom to find an equally dressed Remus. Together, they made their slow way back to the passage to the Whomping Willow. On the way, Hermione was surprised to see the cloaked form of Professor Snape coming towards them. For some reason, she'd doubted that he would actually come to retrieve them.

Snape immediately pulled two vials from his robes, handing one to Hermione and one to Remus. "From Poppy," he explained uselessly, looking uncomfortable with the idea that maybe he cared enough to bring them Pepper up Potions.

Hermione drank hers quickly, shaking off the steaming ears and happily allowing some of her pains to fade away. Remus drank his and a moment later they were off.

Snape escorted them all the way back to the Hospital Wing, letting out huffs of irritation in response to their slow pace. In the Hospital Wing Madam Pomfrey escorted Hermione and Remus to a closed off corner of the room, giving each a bed to sit on while she sorted out some other potions to take.

Hermione sat on the edge of the bed gazing down at her arms. The scratches had faded some, but they were still prominent. A glance up at Remus showed that he was eyeing them too, the same sad expression on his face. "It's not that bad," she said meekly, rubbing her arms.

He exhaled slowly, "you're right. It's not."

She tilted her head in confusion. "You think so?"

He nodded. "Usually the first transformation leaves much more damage. It's probably because we were together. When wolves are close to each other around the moon many aspects of the transformation get easier. That's why so many wolves tend to travel in packs." He was falling into his lecturing mode. It was actually quite endearing that he could still be scholarly and thoughtful in this state. Hermione shook _that_ thought away as quickly as it came.

"Huh," she murmured.

Before Remus had any more time to explain his theories or lecture further Pomfrey came back, her arms full of various healing products. Hermione and Remus each took three separate potions: one for strengthening, one for soreness, and one for magical drainage. In addition, Hermione received a large amount of both Scarring Salve and Bruising Paste.

Hermione and Remus were soon ushered out of the Hospital Wing, both eager to get back to their own rooms and rest. Before they parted in the corridor Hermione turned to Remus. "Professor," she said, for some reason adopting the formality because they were in the public corridors of the school, "thank you for everything. I really appreciate it."

Remus rested his tired eyes on her and smiled wearily. It was only now that she realized that his human eyes were quite different from the amber color of the wolf's. These eyes were a speckled shade of green. "It's no problem, Hermione," he said, "in fact, it was a lot easier to have you around than being alone. Thank you."

She stamped down the urge to blush and quickly said goodbye, rushing off through the corridors back to her dormitory as quickly as her fatigued legs would carry her. Luckily, Evan was still asleep, so she didn't have to answer any potentially troublesome questions about why she was sneaking in so early in the morning, looking much worse for the wear.

In the privacy of her own room, Hermione decided that before she could sleep she really needed to bathe. The Pepper Up Potion had helped a lot with the tiredness, so she didn't feel as if she would fall asleep at any moment. This allowed her to take the opportunity to run herself a hot, soothing bath.

The bottle of Lavender soap that Hermione always used was sitting on the edge of the tub, waiting for a special occasion like this one. Hermione's mother occasionally bought her Lavender soap from a Muggle store and sent it to Hermione at school. Hermione reserved it for special occasions simply because her mum couldn't send it that often.

She stripped down slowly, letting out sighs of pain every time she had to move her body too much. After all her clothes had been tossed on the floor she stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at her reflection pensively. It was now that she noted that the skin of her neck and shoulders had also been clawed red in the heat of the moment. In addition to the raised skin all over her body she noted her awfully pale complexion, combined with the skittish look in her eyes. She looked dreadful.

Settling into the hot bathwater, Hermione washed herself thoroughly with her Lavender soap. The scent reminded her of when she was little and her mother used to wash and comb her unruly hair every night. These thoughts only served to make her feel guilty that her parents didn't know what was going on, but it was better this way. This way her parents didn't have to worry. This way Hermione didn't have to assure them that she was okay when in truth last night had been the most awful, torturous night of her life.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the back of the bathtub and stretching out her limbs. Images of the moon and of the night sky flashed before her closed eyelids. She couldn't help but remember the grotesque pain of her bones breaking and fusing together again. The memory sent her whole body into a bit of a spasm. Water spilled over the edges of the tub and Hermione had to open her eyes and clench her fists together to get herself to stop shaking. A few stray tears leaked from her eyes as she washed her hair and finished up her bath.

She stepped out of the bathtub and quickly applied the Scarring Salve Pomfrey had given her, still shaking. A few moments later she was falling into bed, curling up beneath the heavy duvet and drifting off to sleep. Her dreams were frightening memories of the full moon and of the pain it brought, mingled with a few moments of respite in which she dreamt of the smell of lavender and the rich color of Remus' amber wolf eyes.

It was a long night.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for all the reviews/favorites/follows! You guys are so wonderful. The next chapter is where it really gets exciting…


	5. Fight or Flight

**V**

Fight or Flight

* * *

It was on Hermione's way to the Gryffindor Common Room that she first heard the footsteps behind her. She'd just left her own Common Room, intent on spending an evening with the boys and Ginny now that she was fully recovered from the full moon. As she walked she perked up, listening more closely to the sounds behind her.

They were definitely footsteps, light and hesitant, obviously coming from somebody who didn't want to be heard. What this person didn't know, however, was that Hermione Granger now had the exceptional hearing range of a werewolf

Taking a deep breath, she also caught a whiff of the person's scent. It smelled of expensive cologne and the Slytherin Dungeons. It took only seconds for Hermione to realize that Draco Malfoy was indeed following her.

With what Artemis had told her only a short time ago about Draco hanging around outside of his portrait, this incident became even more suspicious. Hermione decided to do the Gryffindor thing and confront Draco. After all, it was better to catch him by surprise than to let him get a free shot on her in an empty corridor.

With a swift turn of her feet, she whisked around, spotting the platinum blonde hair of Draco Malfoy several paces behind her. He quickly ducked behind a pillar, but she had already seen him. Hermione stalked towards him quickly, drawing her wand and preparing for whatever he had in store.

He jumped out from behind the pillar at the last moment, his wand pointed at her. Hermione was too quick; the _Expelliarmus_ left her lips before he could even meet her gaze. His wand flew into her free hand.

"Malfoy," Hermione seethed, "what do you think you're doing?"

He stuttered for a moment. "Y-you drew your wand on me!"

"Because you were following me!"

He paled slightly, his eyes bolting around to examine their surroundings. With her advanced hearing, Hermione could tell that a group of students was just around the corridor, coming this way. She didn't want to make a scene with Draco, so she decided to do something that she was sure Harry and Ron would say was completely stupid.

"In the classroom," she ordered, motioning with her wand to a nearby empty room, "now."

He straightened up, his nose lifting in the air and his eyes narrowing. Hermione could hear the snobbish comeback in her head before he even said it. "I don't have to take orders from _you_."

"Get in the classroom, Malfoy, or I'll take away all the points you've earned this week and give you a month of detention with McGonagall." She knew these sorts of threats were a petty abuse of power, but in her opinion, anything was game when dealing with the likes of Draco Malfoy.

He sneered, letting out a huff of breath before making his way into the empty classroom. Hermione followed and closed the door behind her, placing a silencing charm over it for good measure. Once she was done, she turned back to Draco, her wand still trained on him. "Why were you following me?"

"I wasn't."

"Yes you were. You hid from me when I turned around. Did your father put you up to this?"

Those words struck a chord with Draco, and suddenly he looked a hundred times tenser. "My father doesn't have anything to do with this," he countered stonily.

"Your father has something to do with nearly everything." She took a step forward. The way his eyes darted between her wand hand and her face gave her a burst of carnal enjoyment that she could only attribute to the Lycanthropy. "Fess up, Draco," she murmured, "Or… I suppose we could always bring this to Dumbledore if you'd like."

His eyes widened slightly, and it was now that Hermione noticed how exhausted he looked. She somehow knew that bringing up Dumbledore would scare him, but she was getting much more of a reaction than she had expected. With another menacing step forward, Draco was ready to give in.

"My father just wanted me to keep an eye on you. It's nothing more than that." His words were short and his tone clipped.

"Why? Is this about what happened last month?" She was treading in risky waters here, but she expected that if Lucius Malfoy had told his son to tail her, he'd probably explained why. For a moment she wondered if Draco and Lucius knew the truth of what had happened; that his failed plan had failed in another way entirely.

Draco nodded warily. "He's angry." Something in the boy's somber expression told Hermione that things were far from right in the Malfoy household. There was a rift between Draco and his father, and if Hermione guessed, Draco did not want to be involved in his father's attempts to 'take care' of Harry's friends. Draco was far from a good person, but Hermione had known him for years. She knew that he wasn't so far gone as to want to participate such violence against his classmates, even if Hermione was a Mudblood and a Gryffindor.

"I'm going to stun you," she informed him, "It will only last for five minutes, and I'll leave your wand for when you wake up." She figured that five minutes was enough time for her to safely make her way to the Gryffindor Common Room. "But let me make myself clear, Draco: your father tried to kill me. If I tell Professor Dumbledore that you are helping your father make another attempt at my life or anyone else in this school I have no doubt that he will ship you straight home to your father. Don't make me do that. I know that you don't want to become like your father." Hermione leaned in closer, her expression turning into a feral grimace. "Stay. Away. From. Me."

Before Draco had any time to react, Hermione's stunner hit him. He slumped to the ground, allowing Hermione to place his wand beside him and slip out the doorway.

She made her way to the Gryffindor Tower wondering if there was even a small chance at redemption for Draco. Judging by the way he reacted to her bringing Lucius up, Draco was afraid of his father. Going off of that, Hermione figured that Draco probably did not want to follow the path of his father or of the other Death Eaters.

Maybe there was hope for him yet.

* * *

Two weeks after the full moon came the first Hogsmeade weekend of the Spring. It was getting somewhat warmer outside, and everyone around the school was in a generally cheerful mood. Even Hermione was happier than normal. She'd turned in a huge Potions assignment on the previous day, and the weight of schoolwork being lifted off of her shoulders was a welcomed relief.

Hermione walked down to Hogsmeade with Ginny, Ron, and Harry around her. The boys seemed happy to have Hermione spending more time with them, and she was determined to keep up the act of the healthy and completely normal life.

The group was walking along ahead of most of the upper-year students. As Head Girl, Hermione liked to lead the pack on the way to Hogsmeade. Evan usually brought up the back with some of his fellow Ravenclaws. As they approached the village, Hermione spotted Professor Snape catching up to the front. Not far behind him was Remus.

Professor Dumbledore had recently implemented a new policy: During every Hogsmeade weekend two teachers were picked to accompany the students and spend the day in the village. Somehow Remus and Snape had ended up being assigned the same day. Harry and Ron found it quite amusing to watch Snape grimace with distaste when his name was mentioned as the "co-supervisor" of this weekend's visit. Hermione just felt sort of awkward about it. She and Remus had a complicated relationship lately. Plus, Snape basically hated them all on the basis of being Gryffindors, so there was always some animosity and awkwardness there.

Snape and Remus arrived at the front of the group just as they got to the outer edge of the village. All of the students collectively stopped when Snape turned to face them. Remus stood at his side casually, but still holding his professorial air about him.

"Students, you have until three-thirty, as per usual. I would like to remind you that Hogsmeade is a privilege, not to be taken advantage of by troublemaking, pestilent children." His voice was harsh but with a simultaneous air of disinterest. When Snape was finished he inclined his head slightly towards Remus, who shook his head, indicating that he had nothing else to add.

"You may go," said Snape.

The large crowd of students erupted into excited chatter as everyone made their way past the teachers and into the village. Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny remained where they were, waiting for the crowd to die down a little before they set off into the village.

Just as the four of them passed Remus and Snape, Hermione caught Remus' eye. He'd been watching her, and he smiled when they made eye contact. Hermione couldn't resist the urge to smile broadly in response. Her mistake was that she hadn't noticed Ginny watching the exchange.

"Let's go to Honeydukes before they sell out of all the good stuff," Ron said, looking more like an third year than a seventh year in his excitement.

Harry nodded in agreement, looking to Hermione and Ginny next.

"I think we're going to stop by some other shops first," Ginny interjected, looping her arm through Hermione's.

Hermione could barely hear Harry's mumbled "okay" before Ginny was pulling her away. "So," the girl began, giving Hermione a sly look, "you're crushing on Lupin now, are you?"

"What?" Hermione nearly gasped, "where did you get that from?"

"Oh come on," Ginny exclaimed cheerfully, still pulling them along the street, "I saw the way you smiled and blushed. It's exactly the way you used to look at Ron, and Krum before him."

"I don't have a crush on him," Hermione insisted, setting her face into an expression of indifference. "He's my professor."

Ginny chuckled, but didn't say anything more on the subject.

Together, Hermione and Ginny shopped for a bit, spending a lot of time looking at dress robes and then splitting up so Hermione could go to Tomes and Scrolls and Ginny could meet up with the boys at the Three Broomsticks.

Inside Tomes and Scrolls, Hermione was happy to find that other customers didn't occupy the bookshelves holding books on magical creatures. She pondered what she'd found out from the books Remus had given her while looking for titles involving Lycanthropy.

Remus' books had been highly intriguing and filled with unique information about Lycanthropy. One of the books had focused solely on the Wolfsbane potion, and that had been what Hermione was most enthralled by.

The Wolfsbane potion was intriguing because it functioned mainly by interrupting the ability of the wolf to take complete control over the human's brain. The Wolfsbane had some agent in it that made it so that the brain became almost independent of the wolf, but still managed to control the body. It was really an ingenious invention, and Hermione very much wanted to learn more about it.

Despite the potion being accepted and well known to academics, nobody completely understood how it worked. Hermione was determined to understand it more. She knew it was silly to think that maybe she could do something like this, but a small part of her brain wondered if perhaps a variation could be made on the potion so that instead of just restricting the brain from the control of the wolf, the potion restricted the whole body from the wolf.

She ended up purchasing a book that focused on mind-altering potions, with a specific and rather extensive section on the Wolfsbane. Before leaving, she shrunk the book and pushed it into her pocket. Hermione left the store eager to meet the others at the Three Broomsticks and then get back to her dormitory so she could read.

Her mind was so distracted by thoughts of the new book currently nestled in her pocket that for a long time she didn't notice the ominous hum of people around her.

"Who is that?" one young Hufflepuff boy asked his friend, pointing behind Hermione. Her attention was caught, and she turned around. Far off, several shops down the street was a large, cloaked figure, making their way at a brisk pace down the road. As the person walked, they approached a group of third years outside of Honeydukes who were not paying attention to the frightful figure. One young boy took a step backwards, bumping into the cloaked person by accident.

Hermione's senses weren't that good this far from the full moon, but she could clearly hear the man's loud growl of anger. The young boy turned to face the figure and immediately let out a wail of terror.

The man pushed the boy aside, continuing on down the street, now removing his wand from his cloak. Some of the other children screamed when they saw him, and others just backed away in fear. There was something wrong here, and, after looking around and seeing neither Snape nor Remus, Hermione decided that she had to do something.

"Go inside the stores," she ordered, turning to the group of younger children behind her. The children looked hesitant, but after a harsh glare from their Head Girl they obeyed.

Next, Hermione spotted Neville Longbottom walking in her direction. Judging by the worried crinkle of his brow, he knew something was very wrong. "Neville!" Hermione called, "I think I may need you to go find Professor Lupin or Professor Snape."

"Do you know who that is?" Neville asked, eyeing the man. Hermione took one more glance at the figure. Each time he got close enough to a student, they shrank away in fear and horror. He must have looked quite frightening under the hood of his cloak. He appeared to be scanning the crowd of students around him.

_Is he looking for someone?_

"No," she shook her head in response to Neville, "but I need you to go find a professor."

"Okay," Neville breathed, rushing off in the other direction to search.

When Hermione turned around the man was closer, and she could now recognize why the students had screamed at the sight of him. He looked positively menacing, with matted grey hair and grotesque scars cutting across his face. For a moment, she wondered if she knew him from somewhere. But surely she would recognize someone so frightening.

Suddenly, as if he could hear her thoughts, he turned to face her. They locked eyes. He took a deep breath of air, inhaling deeply and focusing more on Hermione. She raised her wand, but before she could use it he knocked it out of her hand with a powerful disarming spell.

She took a step backward, looking for anyone nearby who could help, but the street had almost cleared of people entirely. He was stalking towards her, and she could now smell him too. He smelled dirty and foul, but there was something different… something different and familiar about him…

He was a werewolf.

As soon as that thought entered Hermione's mind, she realized something else: this was Fenrir Greyback. This was the werewolf she had seen in the _Prophet_ and heard whispers of from Order members. He was one of the Death Eaters, or at least associated with them. And from the looks of it, he was trying to get to her.

Hermione turned and broke into a sprint in the opposite direction, making her way toward the nearest shop. She didn't make it very far. A quick spell cast on her feet bound them together, causing Hermione to stumble and fall roughly to the ground. She let out a shout of pain before another spell was cast on her, clamping her mouth shut and rendering her silent.

Greyback's footsteps approached from behind. Suddenly she was being jerked upward by the collar of her robes, and she could walk again. To her dismay, her screams were still silent.

Greyback pulled her along to an alleyway between Tomes and Scrolls and the shop beside it. He proceeded to cast another unidentifiable spell, one that looked a lot like a concealing charm of some sort.

Greyback's next flick of his wand released the silencing spell. Upon realizing that she could speak again, she let out a loud, angry scream, shoving her arms against him. Most of her raging anger stemmed from the fact that she had allowed herself to end up in a situation like this _again_.

_Really, Hermione, you need to start thinking about your own safety for a change._

Though, she did suppose that it was better Greyback was after _her_ rather than one of the younger students. She would just die of guilt if she allowed one of them to get hurt.

"What do you want?" Hermione spat at him.

He was still holding onto the collar of her cloak, now moving to push her roughly up against the brick wall of the alley. His crooked toothed grin was almost more repulsive than the smell of his rancid breath. Hermione momentarily cursed her enhanced sense of smell for allowing her to identify the scent of blood on his breath.

Obviously amused by her disgust, Greyback leaned closer, closing his eyes and taking a long whiff of Hermione's scent. She squirmed under his grip, trying to think of some way she could get away from him before he did something disastrous like Disapparate her somewhere.

"Ah," he breathed, pulling away and opening his dark amber eyes, "you're definitely the one Lupin bit, then."

Her eyes widened. "Wh-what?"

Greyback's lips spread into a menacing grin, and Hermione couldn't resist the urge to shiver. This movement only prompted his eyes to leave her face and roam over her body. She felt like she was going to vomit.

"I knew Lupin had changed someone, but you're quite a pleasant surprise, aren't you?" His leering gaze did not falter as his eyes returned to her face. "You see, as the wolf who changed Lupin, I have a sense for when he has… _created_ a new wolf." She had no idea this man was the one who had infected Remus, but it instilled her with a great stab of sadness and anger.

Greyback's wand hand came up to her face, one finger tracing the hollow of her cheek, down along her neck and throat. Hermione tried to turn her head away from him, but his grip was too tight.

"Lupin wasn't supposed to change anyone," the man continued, "we have a bit of an agreement, the pair of us. The rules are that he never changes anyone, but if he does… _they're mine_." His final words were just a whisper, his free hand simultaneously falling to her waist, clasping with a rough, bruising grip. Hermione's expression must have been rather amusing then, because Greyback let out a loud grunt of laughter.

"He didn't try to change me," she challenged, steeling herself and meeting his gaze with a fierce bravery, "it was a mistake."

Greyback shook his head chidingly. "Ah, but I simply don't care, pet. He still did it, eh? Lupin broke the rules and now he must pay the price."

She knew that he was preparing to leave because at that moment he picked up his wand hand again and began to take down the concealment charm. The spell made it more difficult to Disapparate within its range.

Hermione turned her head towards where the alleyway let out, looking for any sign of hope. By some stretch of fate, Professor Snape briskly strode into view, and not far behind him came none other than Remus. Hermione screamed then, her words unintelligible but definitely audible to the professors.

Without a moment's hesitation, Snape sent out a barreling spell, catching Greyback and throwing him across the alley. Greyback smashed into the wall with a loud grunt, sliding to the floor against the bricks and dirt. Hermione stumbled away from the man, sliding along the opposite wall as fast as her legs could take her.

Greyback got off the ground quickly, sending rapid bursting spells at Snape while stalking towards Hermione. Snape fought back with ease, and soon Remus joined in as well. The bright torrent of spells around Hermione lasted for a solid twenty seconds before they ceased. Greyback had Disapparated with an echoing crack.

She kept her eyes on the spot he'd been standing in as she moved, not even watching where she was going when she bumped backwards into Remus. His hand came up to grasp her upper arm, and she felt the wave of soothing calm hit her hard. Hermione let out a long, heavy breath, leaning her head back against the brick wall and trying to get her heart rate under control.

"Hermione" Remus' grip on her arm tightened. His wand hand came up to rest on her opposite shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She looked at him and was surprised by the amount of emotion behind his green speckled eyes. "I'm fine," she said, her voice only a whisper. Snape approached the pair of them, a dark glint in his eyes.

"What did Greyback say? What did he want?" Snape was livid.

Hermione played the conversation over in her mind, thinking through Greyback's few words spoken to her. When she opened her mouth to speak her voice came out stronger than before, "he knows that I'm a werewolf. He said something about an agreement Remus has with him."

Remus was confused for a moment, but then his jaw slackened with the realization. He dropped both of his hands, backing away from her. His voice was far-off when he spoke. "I'm so sorry that happened, Hermione. It's not- none of that means anything- he can't do anything-"

"I'm sure you have a lengthy explanation to give, Lupin," Snape interjected suspiciously, "but perhaps we ought to have this conversation back in Albus' office? Once the other students are safely inside the castle?"

Remus looked at Snape for a long moment before allowing his shoulders to slump in a way that made him look remarkably similar to Harry. "Of course," he murmured, taking another step away from Hermione.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Remus moaned, his head falling into his hands for about the fifteenth time in the past hour. Remus and Hermione, after arriving back at the school, had come to Dumbledore's office to speak about the incident at Hogsmeade. Hermione had cooled off since their arrival, but Remus had not.

She wasn't angry anymore. She was just sad. Remus' disconsolate state and her own exhaustion made her want to curl up into a ball with Crookshanks at her side and sleep.

"Remus," Dumbledore began, "perhaps it would help if you explained why this happened?"

Remus picked his head up, one hand still rubbing his temple. "Years ago Greyback sought me out. He wanted me to join his pack." Hermione watched as Remus' expression became even more hateful. "He thought I owed it to him, because he infected me. He wanted me to come with him and live like an animal."

Hermione wanted so badly to give Remus some sort of comfort.

"I said 'no'. He eventually coerced me into agreeing that if I ever created another werewolf they would take my place in his pack." Remus turned his eyes on Hermione now, "I never thought I'd create another Werewolf." He looked away shamefully, "I guess Greyback knew me better than I knew myself."

"Don't say that," Hermione interjected, "you didn't mean for this to happen. There wasn't- there was nothing you could have done."

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Remus, surely there's nothing real other than a casual spoken agreement between Greyback and yourself, correct?" It took Hermione a moment to realize that Dumbledore feared there was some sort of vow or contract.

Remus shook his head. "There's nothing else."

Hermione hadn't realized how nervous Dumbledore looked until now, when the tension seemed to leave him. "Well then. There is nothing Fenrir Greyback can do." He seemed to be speaking for Hermione's sake more than anything else.

"Greyback is a Death Eater," Hermione observed cautiously.

Professor Dumbledore shook his head in the negative. "According to Severus, Mr. Greyback is a lower-level associate of the Death Eaters. Nothing more."

"Voldemort refuses to have Werewolves or other 'half-breeds' in his upper ranks," Remus said, leaning back in his chair and exhaling deeply. Hermione watched the way his chest fell and rose with his breath.

"But he is still dangerous, Miss Granger, and he is still an ally of the Death Eaters."

Hermione felt uncomfortable under Dumbledore's gaze, shifting between Remus and herself.

"She's safe here, though, right?" Remus hopeful tone made Hermione a little less worried about his state.

Professor Dumbledore nodded. "All students and staff are safe at Hogwarts. Miss Granger was already in some danger because of Lucius Malfoy. The involvement of another party will not change anything unless we allow her protection to falter. Which we won't."

Hermione didn't think the statement or the manner in which Dumbledore said it were exceedingly comforting. Remus looked deeply conflicted.

She found that the next words were leaving her mouth before she could stop them. "Draco Malfoy has been following me."

Remus' eyes jerked away from their study of the carpet and focused on her. "What?"

Hermione winced. She hadn't meant for this to come up with Remus around, intending to speak to Dumbledore about it alone. But alas, here it was, out in the open. "I confronted him about it," she continued, meeting Dumbledore's curious gaze, "he said that his father asked him to do it."

"Well," Remus breathed coolly, "she's not so safe at Hogwarts then, huh?"

Dumbledore held up a hand to calm Remus, nodding at Hermione to elaborate.

"I don't think he's that much of a danger, actually. He seemed afraid of getting involved in all of it, and I think I was quite convincing when I told him to stay away from me."

Remus was studying her intently. Dumbledore did the same for a moment before nodding in acceptance. "I will ask Severus to keep an eye on Draco and his father. In the mean time, I think both of you ought to return to your evening routines. It wouldn't do to have suspicions raised with the rest of the students."

Professor Snape had rounded up the students while Hermione and Remus returned to the castle. Rumors of the mysterious and frightening man had spread fast through the children, but luckily Snape was able to quell some of their worries by saying that the man had been an unknown wizard who disappeared shortly after coming upon Professors Snape and Lupin. It would doubtlessly still be the subject of a lot of gossip tomorrow at breakfast. Plus, Hermione would probably have to explain to Harry, Ron, and Ginny why she'd been missing for so long.

She nodded to Dumbledore, understanding that she needed to leave but not wanting to. As awkward and tense as this was, she knew that once she left Remus' presence that now-familiar calming sensation would leave and she would descend into a state of restless anxiety. She was still shaken from her encounter with Greyback, and she knew that she would worry about Remus late into the night.

And so it was established that there would not be much sleep tonight for Hermione Granger.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I hope you all enjoyed. What did we think about Hermione's interaction with Draco? And the whole incident with Greyback? I'm curious to know what everyone thinks. Happy holidays!


	6. You Are Tired (I Think)

**VI**

You Are Tired (I Think)

* * *

Hermione sighed deeply, standing in her bedroom and staring listlessly at the letter in her hands. She glanced over at her bed and frowned. She didn't _want_ to sleep, but the exhaustion was hard to shake.

Crookshanks purred loudly, weaving himself between Hermione's legs as if trying to get her attention so they could both go to sleep. Hermione smiled solemnly down at the half-Kneazle, but remained where she was. Her eyes drifted to the letter again. It was from her mother. She had read it several times since receiving it.

_Dear Hermione,_

_How are you? You haven't written in a while and I was starting to get worried. Is everything all right? Your father keeps telling me that you're just busy studying for those N.E.W.T. exams. I suppose that must be it, right? _

_There's nothing much of consequence back at home. I've decided to take up gardening. Your father and I planted a whole rose garden out back. I'm so excited for the Summer Recess when you can come home and see it. _

_Anyway, how are Harry and Ron? Is everything well with the Weasleys? I hope to hear back from you soon, but your father wants me to let you know that it's okay not to write back if you're too busy studying._

_We love you with all our hearts,_

_Mum and Dad_

Hermione exhaled shakily, finally placing the letter down on her desk and backing away. She felt terribly guilty for not writing to her mum in so long, but she just couldn't bring herself to pretend everything was okay.

"Tomorrow," Hermione said firmly, glancing down at the ginger ball of fur rubbing up against her legs, "I'll write to them tomorrow, Crooks."

Crookshanks purred quietly, pushing at the backs of her legs as if to shove her towards the bed, but Hermione didn't want to sleep. There was too much going on in her head. It had been several days since the incident with Greyback at Hogsmeade, and Hermione hadn't slept much at all since. The problem was that whenever she actually fell asleep – usually because she was too exhausted to go on – she kept reliving everything with Greyback in terrible nightmares. Eventually, the nightmares about Greyback morphed into nightmares about the full moon as well. No matter how hard she tried, the nightmares and restless nights were inescapable.

Hermione turned to the mirror in her bedroom, setting her shoulders in a straight line and making a decision. She was going to see Remus.

It wasn't that late at night, and she knew that he had to be up this late anyway to do his midnight rounds of the school in a couple hours. Maybe he wouldn't mind if she came over to return the books he'd given her. Maybe he'd let her have tea with him as well. Maybe he was feeling just as anxious and sleepless as she was. Maybe he was hoping to be near her again if only just to experience that state of calmness, of tranquil ease. Maybe everything would feel better once she was near him.

It was with these thoughts in mind that Hermione picked up the books he'd loaned her and left her rooms, sneaking through the common room – luckily Evan was in his own room already – and exiting through Artemis' portrait.

"Where are you off to, Granger?" Artemis asked, rather loudly.

"I'm just going to visit someone," Hermione whispered, "I'll be back."

Artemis narrowed his eyes, but nodded. Hermione left quickly then, making her way towards Remus' office.

When she arrived at his door a sudden wave of doubt hit her. Maybe he would think this was strange. Maybe he would just take the books and tell her to go back to bed and deal with her problems on her own. Maybe she'd gotten ahead of herself in thinking that this was okay at all.

_No_. She remembered the way he'd looked at her in class the other day. He'd watched her tragically, as if the guilt he felt was literally crushing him and he wanted so desperately to do something to help her.

Hermione knocked on the door.

It was about forty-five seconds before she could hear the door connecting his quarters to his office open, then another two seconds until the office door in front of her opened. She inhaled deeply as the serenity washed over her.

"Hermione," Remus said, surprised. He didn't look like he'd been asleep, but he was tired just the same.

"Hi," she breathed. "Um- I have your books," she held the leather bound tomes up, internally cringing at her own awkwardness.

"Oh," he smiled pleasantly, "I didn't think you'd finish them so quickly. Thank you." He took the books from her and placed them on his desk before turning back around, examining her. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes. Everything's fine. I just… well…" she fingered the hem of her robes anxiously. Perhaps she ought to just leave now…

"Do you want to come in?" He opened his office door wider, a kind smile on his face.

"Yes," she nodded, "thank you."

She followed him inside, through to his quarters, noting the amount of essays sitting on his desk. It seemed that he'd been grading. Hopefully he didn't mind her interruption.

"Tea?" asked Remus, removing his wand and levitating some mugs over. The door behind Hermione shut quietly.

"Yes please."

She sat down on the couch in front of the crackling fireplace – Remus always seemed to like sitting by a fire – and waited for him. In a few moments Remus was settling in the armchair across from her, handing her a cup of tea and holding his own in the other hand.

"Thank you," she murmured, taking a sip and allowing some of her remaining tension to slip away with the warm, soothing brew.

"Couldn't sleep?"

She met his eyes, surprised that he'd known. But then again, why else would she be here? "Yeah," she sighed, "you too?"

He nodded. "I always have trouble sleeping, though."

She nodded mutely, and for a moment the silence that stretched between them was strange and uncomfortable. Finally, she spoke again. "Those books you gave me were very interesting." She eyed the bookshelves in his rooms as he spoke.

"Really?" he smiled softly, "well I'm afraid I don't have many more on the subject."

She shook her head. "It's fine. I was actually buying another book about potions like the Wolfsbane in Hogsmeade when- well, when Greyback came."

He nodded, his mouth set in a thin line. The incident with Greyback was still a very sore topic, and Hermione wished so badly that it had never happened if only so that he didn't feel so awful about it.

"I was actually wondering if you know anything about the potion. Anything further than what's in those books, that is."

He considered her for a moment, and then shook his head. "I was never very good at potions, and the Wolfsbane is a bit of an enigma to everyone. I always left the potion sorting to Severus. He may know more, actually."

Hermione frowned. She really didn't want to go seeking answers from Professor Snape about this.

"Why do you ask?"

She hadn't planned to divulge her curiosities to Remus, but she supposed that it couldn't hurt. "I was just thinking about how the potion works and if it could be altered. The book you gave me said that the Wolfsbane works primarily through cutting off the wolf's access to most of the brain. If that works, couldn't it be possible for a variation on the potion to cut off the wolf's control of the body as well?"

He'd been looking at the fire before, but now his eyes met hers. His surprise and intrigue was evident, but he didn't speak for a long moment. "That's actually-" he finally muttered, "that's a very interesting theory."

"Do you think it's possible?" She asked, her eyes lighting up. "I mean, at first it seemed rather nonsensical because nobody has ever been able to stop the physical transformation, but I suppose not many people have really considered it."

He hummed in agreement, the furrow in his brow indicating that he was deep in thought. "I think you ought to ask Professor Snape," he said, picking his eyes up and looking at her. "Like I said, I'm not an expert on this, but Severus, on the other hand, knows more than nearly anyone about this."

Hermione didn't like the idea of seeking out Professor Snape for help, but she figured that her curiosity was going to get the better of her eventually and she would be forced to do it. _And maybe talking to Snape won't be that terrible_, a voice in her head whispered, _he has gone easier on me lately._

Snape never yelled at Hermione for raising her hand too much or helping Harry or Ron anymore. He yelled at Harry and Ron more than enough to compensate, of course, but he often acted strange around her, like he didn't know what to do so he decided that he ought to just ignore her altogether.

"I suppose I will talk to him," she nodded, taking another sip of her tea. It was strange how much better she felt than a mere fifteen minutes ago when she'd been in her dormitory, reading the letter from her mum. Being in the proximity of Remus along with the calming tea he'd given her were a heady combination.

Hermione and Remus continued to talk idly about various things, mostly schoolwork and how she was preparing for N.E.W.T.s. It was a long time before Hermione remembered how late it must be. It had been just before curfew when she'd left her rooms, and now it was long past. She knew that she ought to leave, but she hated the idea of going back to the cold, loneliness of her rooms, where anxiety and sleeplessness would surely set in.

Perhaps she could stay here for just a little while longer.

* * *

Remus watched Hermione when she wasn't looking. He noticed the way she seemed to be sinking into the couch, growing tired and languid. He knew that he should have sent her back to her rooms long ago, but it was strangely intoxicating to have her here. Her presence was invigorating but at the same time soothing. He felt tired but alive. He tried to tell himself that this could only be accounted to the fact that she was a werewolf and, as a fellow werewolf, this was his natural reaction.

"You know what's funny?" she mumbled, taking one last sip of her tea, finishing it off.

"Hmm?" Remus looked up, pretending he hadn't been watching her just a second before.

"Your wolf form used to be so menacing to me. Now, after last month's full moon, I just thought you looked like an oversized dog." She chuckled, smiling wryly.

Remus tilted his head to the side and smiled with her. "I can't tell whether you're trying to console or emasculate me."

She lazily waved her hand in the air. "I was just making a observation. Your wolf form is actually quite beautiful, if it makes you feel any better." She was getting really tired now. He knew that she wouldn't be saying these things if she were wide awake.

Remus thought back to the full moon and how she had looked as a wolf. She'd really been quite beautiful as well. His mind quickly moved from this image to another, and as he closed his eyes he could see it clearly in his mind…

_She conjured the Bluebell flames out of thin air. The blue light emitted from her hands and lit up her face, casting shadows and flickering light. He watched, entranced by the way she looked, her wild hair rustling with the wind and her eyes focused on the flames between her palms. The wolf's previous bloodlust was momentarily forgotten while he watched the irresistible sight before him, just wanting to keep his eyes locked on her._

Remus shook the image out of his head, not sure how it got there or where it came from. Was that from that first night in the Forbidden Forest? It must have been. She'd mentioned conjuring fire in an effort to scare him off. It was strange and frightening that the memory had come back to him. Despite scouring his mind for an explanation or an extension of the memory, he couldn't find one.

How strange.

Remus' eyes fell back onto Hermione. She was watching him with a tired yet focused air about her. "Can I ask you about something?" She said, narrowing her eyes.

He nodded. "You can ask me anything, Hermione."

She was blushing. "What happened- _how_ did it happen when Greyback bit you?"

He should have anticipated this question sooner or later. Remus sighed, leaning back into the armchair and setting down his tea.

She began to backtrack. "You don't have to- I don't need to know about it-"

"It's alright," he interrupted her, "I'll tell you about it."

Hermione nodded, falling back into her languid positing on the couch and watching him. Remus took a deep breath. "I was very young. It was Greyback's personal method of revenge against my father, who insulted him. Greyback found me one night on the full moon and bit me. He left me alive intentionally, so that my father would always regret what he did."

She looked more distraught than he'd ever seen her. "That- that's _horrible_."

"I didn't understand it for a long time," Remus explained, feeling an odd need to get these things off his chest. "How do you explain Lycanthropy to a boy who's barely even old enough to read? I didn't have Wolfsbane back then, of course, so I didn't remember what happened after the transformation. But still," he stared off into the fire, "I remember being so confused about what was happening to me, about why my parents looked at me the way they did, spoke to me the way they did."

Her expression was one of awful sadness. "I'm so sorry."

Remus shook his head. "I've grown to accept it over time."

She looked like she wanted to say something in response to this, but she didn't. Remus turned back into the fire, staring at the dancing flames and reliving the curious memory he had of Hermione conjuring the Bluebell Flames in the Forbidden Forest. He didn't realize that he'd been lost in thought for so long until he looked back at Hermione.

She had leaned further into the couch and dozed off. Her deep, even breathing was evidence enough that she had fallen asleep. Remus sighed. He shouldn't have allowed this to happen, but he supposed that it was worth it if they could both get at least one decent night's sleep this week.

It was with confusion over the memory still weighing heavily in his mind that Remus leaned back in the armchair and allowed the tranquility of her presence and the flickering of the fireplace to send him off to sleep.

* * *

Hermione was started awake by a loud whoosh of air and some bright light erupting within her bedroom. She opened her eyes, wincing at a kink in her neck and staring at an unfamiliar ceiling.

This wasn't her bedroom.

"Moony? You in?" A voice that Hermione could distinctly recognize as belonging to Sirius Black bellowed out. She looked towards the fireplace and, sure enough, Sirius Black's face was floating there amid the flames. He appeared to notice her right when she saw him. A confusedly mumbled "Oh," was the only sound that came out of his mouth.

"Sirius," Remus' voice spoke then, alarmed and groggy. He was sitting up in his armchair, running a hand over his face. When he looked over at Hermione his eyes grew wide. There were a few seconds of terrible silence in which Remus' eyes darted between Hermione and Sirius before he finally spoke again. "Uh, Sirius, this isn't a good time. Maybe later?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes, and Hermione knew by that look that he would definitely be inquiring about this situation later. He still nodded in understanding and quickly closed the Floo connection.

"I'm so sorry," Hermione began, sitting up and trying to straighten out her hair and robes. Her face was burning with embarrassment. "I really didn't mean to fall asleep. I just-"

"It's okay, Hermione," he cut her off, holding up a hand to stop her tirade. "Don't worry about it. I can tell Sirius something. I'll come up with an explanation."

She watched him closely. He looked significantly less tired than before, but she could see the worry in the way his mouth was set in a straight line. "You should tell Sirius the truth," she murmured.

"What? No, I don't have to, I can tell him something else," he stood from his chair, retrieving his wand from the coffee table and using it to put out the waning fire.

"No," Hermione spoke again, more firmly this time, "tell him the truth. He'll understand, and I know that he can keep it a secret. He's your best friend and you need to talk to him about this."

Remus was still facing the fireplace, but she could tell that he was uncomfortable by the way his shoulders drew tight with tension. "I should go," Hermione said, standing from the couch and moving towards the door before he could come up with a response. "Thank-you for this, and I'm sorry I fell asleep. You should talk to Sirius about what happened." And with that, Hermione was out the door, quickly and covertly making her way back to her dormitory.

* * *

"Sirius?" Remus called through the Floo, glancing around the interior of Sirius' flat. After a moment, Sirius popped into sight, coming towards Remus quickly and settling in front of the fireplace.

"Is she gone?" Sirius inquired gingerly.

"Ah, yes," Remus gritted his teeth. "Do you want to come through?" Dumbledore had long ago given Sirius the ability to Floo through to Remus' quarters, knowing that the two friends often needed to speak to each other or be in contact, Sirius more so than Remus.

Sirius nodded once, and Remus backed away from the flames, watching them die down for a second before roaring to life again as Sirius stepped through. The ex-convict examined Remus' quarters for a moment before deciding that they were suitably empty. Sirius crossed his arms, looking Remus up and down, "so… do you want to explain that?"

Remus let out a breath he'd been holding. "Yes, but it's a long story. You should sit down."

Sirius obliged, giving his friend a chance to regale him with the long, complicated, and saddening tale of what had happened between himself, Hermione, and Lucius Malfoy.

"Bloody fucking hell, mate," Sirius rasped once the story was finished, running a hand through his long hair and shaking his head. "I can't believe it."

Remus nodded mutely, his eyes fixed on the floor. He'd been terrified of Sirius' reaction before, and to be honest he still didn't know quite what to make of it now.

"Poor Hermione," Sirius murmured. Remus nodded again. "Poor you," Sirius added, a hint of shock in his tone, "I'm so sorry that happened."

Remus picked his head up, surprised by Sirius' complete lack of blame for anyone but Malfoy. "You think it's your fault," Sirius inferred, watching Remus closely.

"Well it sort of has to be, doesn't it?" Remus shrugged, "even though I wasn't myself when it happened, I still did it. She's a werewolf because of me."

"You didn't do it," Sirius said fiercely, "the wolf did. You can't blame yourself for this, Moony; it'll only hurt things in the end. You're not to blame. It's obvious from what you've told me that Hermione believes that, so you should believe it too."

Remus didn't say anything, resigning himself to once again staring off into the fire.

"Look," Sirius began, a firm undertone to his voice, "after James and Lily- after what happened I blamed myself for years. In a way, it _was_ my fault because I was the reason that Peter ended up the Secret Keeper in the first place."

"It wasn't truly your fault, though," Remus said lowly.

"Exactly. Even though it may have been because of my actions I'm not the one to blame for this, Peter is. I still blamed myself for years though. You saw how town apart I was, and you know just as well as I do that my guilt over it got me nowhere." He paused, evidently reliving a painful memory of something. Remus guessed that it was from Azkaban; Sirius was still wrestling many demons from his years in Azkaban.

"The point," Sirius began again, taking a deep breath, "is that my situation was just like yours. Although you may have been a vital instrument in Malfoy's plan, it was still Malfoy who did it. Malfoy is to blame, not you. I can see how much this is tearing you apart and I know from experience that this self-hatred will only stop you from moving on."

"You're right," Remus conceded, "of course you're right, but it's just- it's so hard not to look at her and see what I did." His face contorted into a sort of grimace as he remembered seeing her go through the transformation and the aftermath.

"But you've got to try to look past it, Moony. I know Hermione, and I know that she could never blame you for this, and from what you've told me, she doesn't. The important thing is that you remind yourself that she's alive and that she needs you to support her."

Remus nodded, staring into the fire and repeating the words in his mind. _She's alive and she needs you. She's alive and she needs you. She's alive and she needs you…_

"I have to go," Sirius stood, casting a quick _Tempus_, "but the reason I called was to let you know that the Order meeting's been moved to Friday. Are you going to be okay here?"

"Yeah," Remus uttered, standing up and pulling his friend in a quick hug, "thank you, Padfoot."

Sirius pulled back, placing a hand on each of Remus' shoulders. "It'll be okay in the end. We've survived worse than this. As for Hermione: if anyone can handle this, it's her."

Remus let out a huff of breath, trying to maintain his composure. He finally nodded.

Sirius cracked a broad, youthful grin, patting his friend once more on the shoulder before heading for the fireplace and Flooing out.

Remus found that his mood was significantly better in Sirius' wake. The fact that he and Sirius had been friends for so many years allowed both of them to understand each other on a much deeper level. Sirius knew exactly what Remus needed to hear at times.

With one more deep breath, Remus retreated to his bedroom, ready to prepare for another day.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So here's the deal: I'm currently on vacation from school and find myself with plenty of free time and a lack of schoolwork. Because of this, I'm looking for a few new things to read. If you want to recommend me to read a fic (whether it's yours or someone else's) or an actual published book, I'd love to check out some new reading material. Totally optional, of course.


	7. All These Scars

**VII**

All These Scars

* * *

Taking one final, deep breath, Hermione raised her hand and knocked on the door in front of her. The door lead to Professor Snape's office, a place that few non-Slytherin students ever dared venture into. The door was slightly ajar, so Hermione assumed that this meant she could poke her head inside. She wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible, after all.

It was only when Hermione cracked the door open a little further that she heard the voices speaking inside. One sounded like the Potions Master himself, but the other… she couldn't quite place it.

"You must deal with it," Snape's sharp, biting voice echoed through the room, "on your own. I can't help you with this, Draco."

Hermione gasped audibly before she could realize what she'd done. Cursing herself inwardly, she took a step away from the door. It was too late, however, because just then the door opened completely, and she was afforded a full view into Professor Snape's office. Snape was standing behind his desk, leaning forward, his hands placed firmly on the desk. His eyes were looking towards where Hermione stood. In the chair in front of the desk sat Draco Malfoy. Hermione couldn't see his face, only his platinum blonde head of hair resting in his hands and the defeated slump of his shoulders. He still hadn't noticed Hermione's presence.

"Granger," Snape drawled, the irritation heavy in his voice, "what are you doing here?"

Just like that, Draco's head snapped up to look at her. He tried to mask his shock with a look of intimidating anger, but the bags under his eyes and his abnormally pale complexion made it hard for Hermione to think of him as intimidating right now.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Hermione murmured, "I can come back later if you-"

"No," Snape cut her off sharply, "Mr. Malfoy was just about to leave." He punctuated his final words with a pointed look at Draco. Hermione couldn't see Draco's face now that he had turned back around, but judging from Snape's changing expression, they were sharing some sort of silent conversation. It was only a few seconds before Draco stood up, grabbing his bag from the floor and pacing towards Hermione, who still stood in the doorway. She moved aside, allowing Draco to pass and watching him closely. Just as he was about to pass her, he met her eyes. The look he gave her held the usual measure of dislike and self-imposed superiority, but a sort of despondent hopelessness weighted it down.

Once Draco was gone, his footsteps echoing down the corridor outside, Hermione realized that it was difficult to hate Draco Malfoy after everything she had experienced in the past few weeks.

"What do you want, Miss Granger?" Snape's voice jerked her out of her thoughts, "Are you just here to kick my Slytherins out and waste my time?"

Hermione wanted to tell Snape that _she_ wasn't the one who'd kicked Draco out, but she held the comment back. She needed to behave respectfully, even if Snape didn't deserve it.

"I was wondering if I could ask you a question about the Wolfsbane."

He wasn't looking at her anymore, his eyes instead inspecting the papers atop his desk. If she hadn't known the professor for all of seven years she might not have been able to see the hint of intrigue beneath his guarded expression. "And what would that question be?" he inquired.

Hermione took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever sort of insults or chiding he was going to throw at her. "I've been researching the potion a lot, and the most information I can find about it is very vague, especially in explaining how the Wolfsbane actually alters the brain and allows the human side to stay in control. I'm sure that there is some active agent in the potion, but it seems that nobody knows what it is."

"And?" Snape crossed his arms.

"I was wondering if you knew anything more. Remus didn't know-"

"Professor Lupin," he corrected.

"Right," Hermione continued, "Professor Lupin didn't know anything about it, but he said that you might. I was just wondering if you could clear this up for me."

He narrowed his eyes, watching her closely. "And why are you suddenly so curious about this?"

Hermione shrugged, "well it pertains to me now much more than it ever did before." She paused, taking a deep breath and hoping that Snape would be receptive to this idea, "I've also been thinking… what if there was a way to modify the potion so that the wolf couldn't take control of the man's body? What if there was some way to obstruct the physical transformation as well as the mental transformation?"

There was a long pause before Snape spoke again, his tone biting and sour. "And you think that _you_ could figure it out? That the great Hermione Granger could come up with a potion to cure Lycanthropy? That is a silly and juvenile dream to entertain, Miss Granger. Do you think that nobody has tried it before? Do you think that there haven't been people who have worked for years studying this subject- people who are much older and more educated than you?"

She frowned, taking a deep breath and stamping down her irritation. "Well yes, I'm sure it's been attempted before, but I don't actually think that it has been given as much attention as I'm willing to give it. People don't care about werewolves. A lot of people could care less if the Wolfsbane was improved. I don't think it's a possible cure for Lycanthropy, because I know that is too broad of a dream for me to believe in. It's just an improvement, and I think that you could help me make it possible."

Snape didn't respond, instead removing his wand from his robes and using it to clear some of the papers off of his desk. Hermione watched him ignore her, tapping her foot on the ground impatiently. She didn't want to make him angry with her, but it was just so hard not to sometimes.

"Do you know anything more about the Wolfsbane?" she finally asked, keeping her voice polite and calm.

Snape looked up at her. "I certainly know more." He paused, a flick of his wand sending a group of rolls of parchment over to one side of his desk with the others. "But there is also a large amount that you ought to learn from other resources before I try to explain anything to you. If I attempted to divulge my understanding of the potion now it would be lost on you."

_We're getting somewhere,_ Hermione told herself, _this is good._

He was silent for a few more moments before speaking again. "You may consult a few of my books on Advanced Potion Theory, and you may want to look into Herbology as well." Just then, a stack of three large, ancient looking books levitated out of a bookshelf behind Professor Snape, stopping directly in front of Hermione and falling into her arms. She let out a grunt at the sudden weight, but managed to stay upright. "You may ask me questions to aid your research, but I will end this little… _project_ of yours if you become bothersome. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," Hermione smiled, "thank you."

"Don't assume that I think this is going to work or that you are capable of such a feat. I'm merely doing this because I know that your insufferable persistence would cause you to haunt me for months about this otherwise. Not to mention Lupin…"

"Of course," Hermione nodded, shifting to support the weight of the books.

"Now," Snape straightened himself before sitting at his desk, a stack of essays neatly arranged for grading beside him. "I don't have any more time for you to waste, and you have a lot of research to do."

"Thank you, Professor," she murmured once more before backing out of the room. Just as she was about to leave, however, she stopped. "Sir?"

He looked up from his grading, a scowl already forming on his face. "What?" he asked angrily.

She swallowed dryly. "You were speaking with Draco about me, weren't you?"

She didn't expect Snape to respond, but surprisingly enough, he nodded. It was only the slightest jerk of his head before he returned to his papers, but it was an affirmation, nonetheless. Hermione left his office, not wanting to give him any more time to take away the books he had given her.

She walked back to her dormitory eager to get started on her research, but thoughts of Draco and his father still weighed heavily on her mind. Was Draco's father going to try to hurt her again? Was he asking Draco to hurt her? For some reason she felt very confident in the fact that Draco would not obey his father willingly with that sort of request. Draco wasn't a murderer. Plus, Dumbledore had asked Snape to keep an eye on Draco, and she'd seen proof of the Potions Master following through on that order just now.

Hermione felt safe from Draco, but how long would it be until Lucius took matters into his own hands?

* * *

In the days after seeing Snape, Hermione started to develop a routine with her time. In the mornings, namely at meals and on the days when she didn't have classes, she would spend her time revising for N.E.W.T.s. In the afternoons, she'd often get her homework done and then spend as much time as possible pouring over the books Snape had given her, along with the one she'd purchased from Tomes and Scrolls and some Herbology texts that Professor Sprout had allowed her to borrow. Her excuse to Professor Sprout, along with Harry, Ron, Ginny, and anyone else who asked was that she was researching for an extra credit project for Professor Snape. She doubted anyone would ask Professor Snape to validate this, but if they did, she suspected that Snape would confirm the lie.

In all of this business Hermione found that she didn't have as much time anymore for the sleepless nights she'd struggled from only a week ago. Soon enough, though, another full moon was coming around, and with it came the restlessness that Hermione had become well acquainted with. During the week leading up to the full moon, Hermione was happy to have Remus invite her to go on more runs with him around the grounds at night. She adored the routine of it, and it was always a great chance to relieve some stress about the impending transformation. Plus, it didn't hurt that she got to spend more time with Remus. Things had been just a little awkward between them after that night she'd fallen asleep in his private quarters, but it abated with time.

Two nights before the full moon, Hermione was called into Dumbledore's office again. There, he informed both Remus and Hermione that the Shrieking Shack was no longer an option for the full moon. Hermione was slightly upset about this — she'd actually sort of liked being there last month — but she understood that if Greyback had been able to infiltrate Hogsmeade once, he could definitely do it again.

Dumbledore therefore decided to send Remus and Hermione off of Hogwarts grounds for the full moon. The idea of leaving the safety of Hogwarts was a little frightening, but surely Dumbledore would take the necessary precautions. Remus had offered up his own house for the transformation. It was apparently a cottage once owned by one of his parents, and he'd lived there on and off over the past several years. Dumbledore liked the idea enough, and after sending a begrudging Snape out there to set up a great variety of wards, the Headmaster decided that it was a suitable place for the transformation.

So it was decided that Remus' cottage would be in use for the night of the full moon. Two evenings later, Hermione found herself meeting Remus and Professor Snape by the front of the school. Snape was to escort them to the house and then back to Hogwarts in the morning. He didn't seem to like the task, but Hermione knew that there was almost nobody Dumbledore trusted more with a task like this than Professor Snape. Despite having her doubts sometime in the past, Hermione had to acknowledge that Snape was also one of the people she trusted most.

The trip to the cottage was uneventful. The trio made their way off of school grounds and then Hermione side-along Apparated with Remus while Snape Apparated on his own. A few seconds later, they stood outside a small, woodsy cottage.

"I'll be back shortly after sunrise," said Snape. With a loud crack not a second later, he was gone.

"He's always pleasant, isn't he?" Remus huffed, starting towards the house. Hermione followed him, feeling the tingling sensation of a magical boundary as they passed through the wards around the place.

The interior of the house was just how one expected it to look from the outside. There was a small living area with a couch and a fireplace. Attached to it was a modest kitchen with an old wood fire stove. There looked to be a single bedroom and a bathroom off of the living room. Despite the house being a bit drafty and smelling of dust, Hermione felt that it was very homely.

"So," Remus sighed, hanging his cloak up on the coat rack, "how do you like it? I know it's not much, but it's better than that bloody shack, right?"

Hermione smiled softly, "It's very nice."

"I'd give you the grand tour, but I don't think we have much time for that." He checked his wristwatch, nodding once before retrieving the robes for them to change into.

It was true; moonrise was not long from now. Hermione changed quickly in the bathroom before sitting down on the couch, her knee bouncing anxiously as she waited. Remus came out from the bedroom a few moments later, sitting beside her and making idle conversation in an obvious attempt to keep her mind off of what was about to happen. It wasn't working very well. The only thoughts in her mind were fearful anticipation of what was going to happen in just a few moments and the occasional thought about how close Remus was sitting. He wasn't sitting outrageously close, mind you. Nearly every person of the male gender who'd gotten close to Hermione over the past few days had distracted her.

Moonrise came in almost the same way it had last time. The only difference now was that Hermione knew what to expect. When the gripping pains and bone splitting transformations started she could assure herself that despite it feeling like literal death, she wasn't going to die. Still, she cried and screamed and tore at her own skin for what felt like hours until her body had fully shifted and the pain abated.

When the transformation was fully finished Hermione found herself once again intrigued by her wolf form. The beginning of the night was very similar to the previous full moon in that Remus proceeded to curl up in a ball and watch as Hermione sniffed every corner of the room. A new environment like this one meant at least a hundred new smells, each of which Hermione had to methodically pick apart. Finally, she curled up on the rug, dozing off to sleep a few feet away from the furry form of Remus.

The morning transformation was worse than the beginning of the night. Hermione woke up to the fur along her spine sticking straight up, anticipating the pain to come. Her howls of agony mingled with Remus', but his were more controlled after years of the experience. When her paws turned into human hands she started to desperately scratch the pain away. Despite knowing that she was just hurting herself, she couldn't stop. She just wanted it to end. She wanted all of it to end.

And then it did.

Hermione was left lying on the ground, breathing heavily and shivering. After hearing a shifting noise coming from a few feet away, she was reminded of Remus. She quickly found her robe and covered herself. While she did so she took a moment to assess her condition. That transformation back from wolf form had been brutal. Her arms and torso were scratched, and when she wiped her hand against a scrape on her cheek it came away slightly bloody.

_Great, you've managed to claw yourself bloody. That'll be brilliant to explain to everyone back at Hogwarts._

Shaking her head as if it would clear her mind of thoughts of school, Hermione sat up and looked at Remus. He was rubbing his face, looking tired despite having slept nearly the whole night. "How are you?" he asked hoarsely, meeting her gaze.

Hermione let out a shaky breath, pushing the resounding pains and aftershocks out of her mind. "That was a bad one," she whispered.

"Agreed," he gritted out, shifting over and leaning up against the front of the couch. Hermione did the same, tipping her head back and taking deep, slow breaths.

"You're bleeding," he observed. She tilted her head and saw him watching her sadly in the same sideways manner. They must have looked like quite a sight: half-dressed, bloody, and too tired to even sit properly on the couch.

She let out a long breath, "I tried to stop myself…"

"But it was a bad one," he echoed her former words.

Hermione nodded. "Why was it worse this month?"

She wasn't looking at him anymore, but she could imagine exactly the way he shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes they're just worse than others. Could be stress, less sleep in the nights leading up to the moon, changes in the brewing of the Wolfsbane, anything really. Another inexplicable part of Lycanthropy, I'm afraid."

Somehow Hermione found it within herself to pull her tired legs up from the ground and hug her legs. She rested her forehead between her knees, taking deep, calming breaths. Remus was quiet while she did so, but she could feel his eyes on her, and she could tell that he wanted to say something.

After a little while she felt his hand slide into hers. His fingers were cold and clammy, but they curled around in a way that made it comforting. Hermione realized that this was the only genuine physical interaction she'd had since before that first night two months ago in the Forbidden Forest. The thought made her chest ache for a moment, and Remus was so close to her that she wanted desperately to curl into his side and take more from this gentle, innocent gesture.

Instead, her hand tightened around his and she continued her deep, even breathing, ignoring the blood on her face from clawing at herself and the near-agonizing fatigue that remained from the transformation.

Remus held her hand the whole time.

Professor Snape showed up about twenty minutes after sunrise. Hermione and Remus had both lost themselves in thought, and were thus surprised to hear the door behind them open and the footsteps of Snape as he strode into the room. Remus untangled his fingers from hers and jumped to his feet, muttering about how they'd lost track of time and he needed to change back into his clothes. Knowing that the damage had already been done and it would doubtlessly be awkward anyway now, Hermione turned and offered Snape her best "hello" before fixing her robe and proceeding to the bathroom to change.

The trip back to Hogwarts was silent and slow. Snape didn't speak, only letting out irritating huffs of breath when either Hermione or Remus had to stop and rest. Eventually, they made it to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey immediately started fussing over the pair of them, and it was at that point that Hermione decided she didn't care about her friends or Evan getting suspicious. She was going to be sick for today. She was going to spend the whole day sleeping in the Hospital Wing and taking whatever potions Pomfrey gave her and not caring one bit.

Remus apparently had things to do, because he left not long after Madam Pomfrey had finished with him. On his way out he sent Hermione a warm, albeit slightly awkward, smile. "Remember that it won't always be that bad," he murmured, nodding once more before exiting.

After he was gone Hermione realized something: throughout the whole of the past week she'd only seen a few short flickers of Remus' guilt and shame. She knew it must have been Sirius' doing, because before she'd told Remus to speak to Sirius about it practically all of their interactions had been filled with guilty, mournful looks on his part.

Sirius had done some good, and that was one thing Hermione could be happy for.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Happy 2015, everyone! I hope everyone had a wonderful, safe, and happy New Years. I received a ton of great recommendations and got to spend a lot of time reading over the past several days. I had no clue there were so many great authors reading this! If you don't mind, I'm going to spend a minute here telling you all what wonderful writers we have in our midst: I read and enjoyed The Keeper's Lament by apriljunemay, I Want You To Be My Acrobat by gypsyfurface, and The Debt of Time by Shealone over these past few days. I'm sure most of you have probably already stumbled across The Debt of Time because it's epic with nearly 1000 reviews and over 300,000 words, but you should definitely read that if you haven't yet. Also, some other amazing authors who I'm so happy are reading this: NeonDomino with her plethora of wonderful Hermione/Remus and Wolfstar fics, and LR Earl with Sacrifice, her amazingly angsty and beautiful Hermione/Remus fic.

Okay, I hope you don't hate me for rambling on like that. I usually try to keep my notes short, but oh well…

Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Also, some of you will probably be happy to know that part one of this fic is officially finished, now waiting to be posted. Part one is 16 chapters long, topping off at a little over 75,000 words. I've now moved on to the writing of part two, and it's already a blast. I can't wait for you guys to see what I have in store.


	8. Reckless Abandon

**VIII**

Reckless Abandon

* * *

"Alright, let's split into pairs and do some practical work," Remus announced, standing at the head of the classroom and motioning for everyone to get up from their desks.

Hermione looked over at Harry. He was watching her expectantly, asking if they would be partners. She nodded her silent agreement.

Once all the students were out of their seats Remus waved his wand and the desks flew to the edges of the classroom. Within seconds all the partners stood facing off against one another.

Hermione and Harry were beside Ron and Lavender. Hermione ignored Lavender's whine about how she hoped Ron wouldn't use any harsh spells on her. Instead, she busied herself with making sure the sleeves of her jumper and robes were pulled down over the scars that still remained from the full moon. After she was finished she focused back on Harry.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" Harry asked.

"I will," she answered, taking one of the blindfolds Remus had distributed to each pair and putting it on. After readying her wand, she told Harry to begin.

All the pairs were to have one partner wear the blindfold while the other silenced their footsteps and moved around their partner, casting weak hexes at them from different locations. The blinded partner was to use a Heartbeat Locating spell to find their partner's location and then disarm them. Hermione knew that she didn't need the Heartbeat Locating spell– the full moon had been two days ago and she still had sublime hearing.

She allowed Harry to hit her once with a shocking spell before she whipped around and disarmed him. His wand flew into her left hand and she took her blindfold off, finding Harry shaking his head at her. "I don't know how you got so good at Defense Against the Dark Arts, Hermione."

"I've just been working very hard lately," she offered, handing him the blindfold.

"Speaking of that," Harry lowered his voice, "do you feel better? Ginny's worried that you're overworking yourself and that's why you've been sick so often lately."

"That might be it," she conceded, her voice just a little shrill, "but don't worry, Harry. N.E.W.T.s aren't far off, then I'll be able to rest."

He gave her a wary nod before shifting the blindfold over his eyes and readying his wand. Hermione's eyes drifted to where Remus stood at the front of the classroom. He was watching her, and she knew that he'd overheard the conversation. Before she had much time to decipher his expression, he was being called away by Astoria Greengrass. Astoria asked him a question, and soon he was doing a demonstration for her and her partner, Draco Malfoy.

Draco stood with his arms crossed, the usual snobbish look on his face as he watched Remus put on the blindfold and allow Astoria to attempt to hex him. Hermione's focus was drawn back to Remus. She examined the way his smile formed when he determined Astoria's location and the way his body shifted as he cast the disarming spell.

"Hermione?" Harry called out, "are you ready."

"Oh," she jumped, "of course." She proceeded to muffle her footsteps and begin to move around and cast spells at Harry. It wasn't long before he successfully located and disarmed her.

When DADA ended Hermione was pulled out of the classroom alongside Harry. Her thoughts strayed to Remus several times over the next few hours.

* * *

The next afternoon Hermione decided to make the trek to Remus' quarters once again. She knew that it probably wasn't the smartest thing for her to be doing, considering what would happen if someone saw her, but she was more desperate for his company more than ever. She arrived at his quarters only a little before curfew and he seemed pleased enough to see her. They were both still recovering from an abnormally bad full moon and any moments in each other's presence were gratefully accepted.

Hermione and Remus spent that evening drinking tea and discussing Hermione's progress with Snape and her research on the Wolfsbane. Remus was so intrigued by everything that he asked her to come to his quarters the next night and bring the books Professor Snape and Professor Sprout had given her. Hermione was happy to oblige and ecstatic to have another reason to come to his rooms. Together, they went through nearly everything she'd learned so far.

There had been a wealth of knowledge to garner from the books Snape had given her, and Hermione loved explaining everything to Remus and watching him as he read through specific passages that she figured were important. So far the books hadn't proved any of her theories wrong, but nor had they proved that it would be possible to alter the Wolfsbane in such a way. Still, Hermione felt like she was coming closer to something important, and the sooner she learned everything she could from these books the sooner she could speak to Snape about this.

Despite spending hours on end in Remus' rooms at night, Hermione was careful not to fall asleep there. Thus, each evening when she started to grow too drowsy to continue — this usually happened sometime before midnight — she would say goodbye and sneak through the castle back to her rooms.

There were a few problems with this routine, one of them being the fact that Evan seemed to be getting suspicious. One night Hermione came back through the portrait a little after midnight to find him studying in front of the fireplace. She winced upon seeing him, knowing that her streak of going unnoticed so far had been broken. He didn't say anything, but his intrigued expression was enough to tell her that he would remember this. Evan was exceedingly polite and would likely never ask her why she was staying out so late, but she would still rather him not be suspicious about it. Hermione breathed a polite "hello" before rushing up to her room and out of his sight.

Another problem — well, not so much a problem as just an awkward instance — was the one fateful night when Hermione came to Remus' rooms to find that Sirius was already there, lounging on the couch she usually sat on and talking to his friend.

"I can come back another time," she murmured upon entering the room, ready to back out and sprint back to her dormitory.

"Nonsense," Sirius barked, a cheeky grin on his face, "come sit with us, Hermione." He patted the space next to him on the couch while smiling genially at Remus.

Hermione awkwardly entered the room, sitting down on the couch beside Sirius and taking the cup of tea Remus immediately offered her. Remus looked mildly uncomfortable, but he still smiled at her just the same when she took the tea. Hermione smiled back, stamping down the blush that was forming on her cheeks. Sirius noticed, and Hermione caught the mischievous glint in his eye.

The three of them chatted for a while; mostly about Harry and the upcoming Quidditch final that Gryffindor was set to play in. Sirius loved talking about Harry, and he hated that Dumbledore didn't let him see his Godson more often. Hermione understood why Dumbledore did this; it would be too risky for Sirius Black to be spotted around the Gryffindor Tower or around the castle in general. Sirius had been cleared of all charges a long time ago, but many people were still suspicious of him and generally uncomfortable to see the ex-convict out in public.

Hermione ended up leaving to do her rotation on the post-curfew rounds a little while before midnight. "Thanks for the tea, Remus," she said, offering her best smile, "I'll see you in class tomorrow."

Remus nodded, an amused grin on his face. She'd realized that he had the tendency to act more cheerful and happy in the presence of Sirius. It was almost like Sirius made him younger, more carefree and lighthearted. It was a welcomed change, to say the least.

"Bye, love," Sirius chimed, winking at her in a way that she was sure had women falling all over him when he was younger.

"Bye, Sirius," she replied, turning away and leaving before they could see her blush.

The run-in with Sirius didn't happen again, as it seemed that Sirius didn't want to intrude on Remus and Hermione's time together. According to Remus, the Animagus stuck to calling in the morning or early afternoons. Hermione was half-thankful to not have the a repeat-experience, but at the same time she wanted it to happen again, if only to see Remus in one of the good moods that Sirius's company inspired.

Hermione's routine of her occasional visits to Remus' rooms persisted for a few weeks without interruption or serious issue. She'd decided not long after the visits started that she would be grateful for however long they lasted.

* * *

The month passed uneventfully except for one very interesting incident about a week before the full moon. Hermione had just left her Ancient Runes class and stopped into the Prefect's Bathroom on her way to lunch. She was both surprised and intrigued to find Draco Malfoy in said bathroom, pacing the floor and wearing a murderous expression. He turned towards her sharply upon hearing the door open, and the intensity of his glare was enough to make Hermione take a step backwards in surprise.

"Oh great," Malfoy sneered, "it's you. Come to fuck up my life again?"

"I see you're not in a very good mood," she replied coolly.

He scowled. "I thought you wanted me to stay away from you."

She crossed her arms. Before a few weeks ago Hermione hadn't cared much at all about what was going on with Draco, but she knew that he was going through a trying time. She wanted to try and keep Draco away from his father's path. The same girl who'd founded S.P.E.W. and fought desperately for House Elf Welfare when she was younger felt the inexorable need to help him now. "Did something happen, Draco?"

"Why do you care?" He growled, stalking forward so he was only a few feet away, "you're just the person who ruined my bloody life."

"_I_ ruined _your_ life?" Her temper was flaring up. "Do you even know what your father tried to do to me?"

"Well you survived, didn't you?" His tone was stubborn and desperate, "My father failed and now my family is ruined. My _life_ is ruined." It that moment he sounded more like a petulant child than Hermione had ever thought possible.

"And you think I should have died? You think I should have _died_ to save your precious father?" Hermione stepped closer to Draco, putting on her best menacing expression. "You don't know half of what happened that night."

Draco stepped back, examining Hermione closely. For a minute she thought that maybe she had given away too much. Surely he didn't know what had truly happened, right? The only way Draco could know about Remus infecting her was if Lucius knew, and according to Snape, Lucius didn't. The Death Eater simply thought that he had failed outright.

Draco took a deep breath, staring at the ground for several seconds in an obvious attempt to master himself. He finally picked his head up, looking at Hermione with an expression that one normally wouldn't describe as open or vulnerable, but to Hermione it was the most vulnerable thing she'd ever seen from him. "You should be careful," he muttered, "the Dark Lord is getting impatient. My father hasn't informed him of his failure yet, but it will come to light eventually."

The way Draco said "the Dark Lord" made Hermione's skin prickle. He spoke like a Death Eater. Unwillingly, her eyes darted down to his forearm. His robes covered it, so she couldn't see any evidence of a dark mark. Draco caught her looking and stood up taller, turning his arm inward. "You have no business in my life, Granger."

Hermione lifted her gaze to his face. "I want to help you, Draco," she said, "I know that you don't want to be involved in what your father is doing and I know that you don't want my help, but there are people who will help you."

He turned away from her, striding across the bathroom to one of the sinks and turning on the faucet. Hermione watched as he washed his hands methodically and stiffly. When he finished, he turned to pick up his book bag and moved back towards Hermione, passing her by and opening the door to the corridor. Before he disappeared behind the door he turned his head towards her, his gaze still lingering on the floor. "I won't help my father," he murmured, "Just- please don't tell anyone about this."

Hermione restrained her triumphant grin. It appeared that she had gotten through to Draco. Of course, she still had to be wary of him; trusting a Malfoy would be unwise.

Draco left, the noise of the portrait shutting echoing through the bathroom. Hermione stood there for a long moment, thinking hard about what had just happened. Finally, she put on a neutral expression and left the bathroom for the Great Hall.

* * *

The next full moon came with a lack of restlessness for Hermione, but it seemed that all of the other symptoms were intensified tenfold in its place. On the morning of the full moon she could barely even walk into the Great Hall with all of the scents and noises being so magnified. In Potions Class she started to feel like she was going to throw up while adding some particularly pungent ingredients to the Pepper-Up Potion she was making. Her experience in Potions was nothing compared to having to drink the Wolfsbane Potion that evening. She didn't even go to dinner because she felt so nauseous after.

And then there was the sex drive. While it hadn't been as potent last month, it now seemed to come back with enough power to make up for the lack. Hermione was a tightly wound coil of tension all day. When she and Remus were left alone in his cottage that evening it only got worse.

Snape had just departed, the crack of his Apparition heard acutely by the resident werewolves. Hermione tried to look at anything but Remus, knowing that it wasn't long now until the moon rose and she would be distracted by the transformation.

"Here," Remus said, offering her the dressing gown she'd left at the Cottage last time. His voice was more gruff than usual, and for a second she wondered if he was experiencing the same symptoms as her.

Taking a deep breath and ignoring the whiff of Remus' calming scent that came with it, Hermione looked up at him, taking the robe from his outstretched hand. Her fingers brushed against the inside of his wrist ever so slightly. She swallowed dryly, the back of her throat feeling tight and constricted.

His eyes bore into hers, and she couldn't resist shifting under his gaze. Moonrise was minutes away and all her senses were running wild. She could feel his proximity more intensely than anything else. When had she become so receptive to Remus? Well, she'd been facing feelings towards him for a while now, but it hadn't ever been like this.

Her eyes dropped to his lips for a fraction of a second. He caught her looking and appeared mildly surprised. She dropped his gaze, a blush rising in her cheeks that she just couldn't stamp down.

_You're not yourself right now, Hermione._

The reassurance did little to help her restraint, because a moment later she was stepping forward, getting up on her toes, and pressing her lips against his. She didn't even realize what she was doing until her body had committed itself entirely.

Remus responded instantly, his arms coming to wrap around her waist, his lips moving fast and forcefully against hers. If she hadn't had proof of him feeling the increased sex drive before, this was proof enough. Hermione rested one hand on his shoulder, the other wrapping around the back of his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. She kissed him back with the same enthusiasm. That seemed to inspire something in him, and he quickly pulled her against him, turning around and pressing her against the wall. Hermione gasped at the weight he put into the movement combined with the feeling of being so close between Remus and the wall.

Her gasp seemed to jolt some sense into him. Remus detached his mouth from hers, pulling back and meeting her eyes with a look of terrified realization. He dropped his hands from her waist like he'd been burned. "_Fuck_," he whispered, his expression soon turning to one of horror. The man staggered backwards, his hand coming up to his forehead. Hermione hadn't remembered ever hearing him curse like this. She cringed.

"That shouldn't have happened, Hermione." He'd turned away and she could no longer see his face, but she suspected that he wore the same pained expression his voice was projecting.

She tried to look for words, but she didn't know what to say. Whatever had just happened had either been a terrible, dreadful mistake, or the most wonderful sensation in the world; she couldn't decide. The only thing she was sure of was the fact that she'd just kissed her professor.

_And he kissed me back._

Suddenly, there wasn't time to say or think anything else. The transformation was coming on. Hermione let out a groan as the first pains began to rip through her body. Remus staggered further away. It was seconds before Hermione was falling to the ground, trying to restrain her screams of pain. The transformation stretched on forever.

When the pain ended Hermione found herself faced with a very guilty looking wolf. Remus watched her with his deep amber eyes for a long moment before turning away and curling up on the carpet just as he always did. The only difference was that this time his eyes didn't follow her as she paced back and forth around the room. In fact, he barely looked at her once for the rest of the night. Hermione ultimately settled in on top of the couch, curling up in a ball and trying to force herself to get some sleep.

Little sleep came.

After another excruciating transformation in the morning, Hermione ended up lying nude on the couch, her hand groping for the nearest blanket. Once she found it she wrapped it around herself, curling into a ball on the couch and opening her eyes. Remus was sitting up on the ground facing away from her, another blanket draped over his back and his hands rubbing at his face.

Her eyes didn't leave his form. "I'm sorry I kissed you," she whispered hoarsely.

He turned around, his expression no longer one of anger or fear. It was only sadness.

"It was just the full moon and — well I'm sure you know how it is," she tried to explain, sitting up and fingering the edges of her blanket.

He nodded. "I know how it is." She trained her eyes on the carpet, listening to the noise of him shifting closer to her. Eventually he was directly next to the couch. She met his eyes, and he offered her a sad smile. "I'm your teacher, Hermione," he intoned. "Things like this can't happen while I'm your teacher."

She felt the pang of this rejection sharply in her chest. For a moment she didn't think she could ever bear to look at him again. After all Remus had done to try and help her through the lycanthropy, she repaid it by _kissing him_? He'd only wanted to offer her companionship and comfort, and she'd taken advantage of him.

A separate, less-conscious part of mind jumped at the words "_while_ I'm your teacher." Did he intend to say that this would be okay once she was no longer his student? Hermione truly didn't know. She sat there for a long moment, before deciding to do the Gryffindor thing and throw caution to the wind.

"Well," she sighed, getting up and grabbing her torn up clothes from the ground, "I _do_ graduate in less than two months." Before he could respond she slipped into the bathroom to change. By the time she was out again, Professor Snape had arrived with a pair of Pepper-Up Potions and a foul mood. Hermione didn't chance a look at Remus on the way out.

_But,_ a voice in her head whispered, _it's not like you can resist him forever._

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know that many of you have been waiting for a scene like this. What did you think? Any predictions on what's going to happen next?


	9. Bereft

**IX**

Bereft

* * *

Remus lifted his gaze from the floor when the fireplace glowed a bright green. Without barely a moment's warning, a head of shaggy black hair appeared in the fireplace, it's body arriving not a second later. Sirius Black stood in front of Remus, hands on his hips as he examined the room and the man sitting on the couch.

"No offense, Moony," Sirius began, plopping gracefully onto the armchair across from him, "but you look like shit."

"Thanks," Remus grumbled, rubbing his face and noting that he desperately needed to shave.

"Was the full moon that bad this month?" Sirius took on a more concerned tone. "Damn. I wish Dumbledore would let me come with you."

"No," Remus shook his head, still letting it rest in his hands, "it's not the full moon. At least that's not the only thing."

"What?" Sirius shifted forward, "did something happen?"

Remus let out a long, drawn out sigh. "I don't know, Padfoot," he sat up straighter, finally making eye contact with his friend, "actually, yes. Something did happen."

"And?" Sirius goaded him on. After Remus didn't give any response the Animagus let out a barking laugh. "Is it really that bad that you can't tell me? For fuck's sake, Remus, what happened?"

Remus closed his eyes tightly.

"Is it something to do with Hermione?"

"Yes."

"Moony…" Sirius began, a worried and slightly irritated inflection to his voice.

Remus brought a hand up to his forehead, rubbing his temple. "She kissed me," he mumbled at last, a hateful frown on his face, "and I kissed her back."

Sirius' eyebrows must have risen to his hairline. After a moment of silence, he fell back against the couch like he'd been shot dead right there. Remus couldn't bear to look at the man, so he focused on his shoes.

It was a long time before Sirius spoke, but when he did it was with a very out-of-place tone. "Well," the Animagus chuckled, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but… my, my, my, look how the tables have turned."

It was not a good day to provoke a werewolf, as Sirius soon learned when a mug full of scalding tea was chucked at his head. Lucky for Sirius, his reflexes were superb, and he ducked just in time, the mug shattering on the wall behind him.

"Holy fuck, Moony," Sirius breathed, holding his hands up in surrender, "it was a joke, bloody calm down!"

Remus was standing tall in front of the couch, his chest heaving and his eyes blazing. After a long pause he fell back onto the couch with a loud thump. "I'm sorry," he moaned after a moment, "it's just- I don't like comparing this to how you used to be."

Sirius' reference had been to how when they were young men he'd always hit on the girls who were at least a few years younger than him. Sirius, at the age of twenty, dated at least three girls who were barely eighteen. Although it hadn't been a very significant age difference at all, Remus always reprimanded Sirius for not trying to get a mature girl his own age.

It was true; the tables had turned.

Remus groaned.

"Look, mate," Sirius began, sitting in his chair once more and leaning forward, "I know you very well, and I've known you long enough to be able to tell when you fancy someone."

Remus groaned again. "No offense, Sirius, but that is _not_ what I want to hear right now."

"Calm down, I'm getting there," Sirius chided, crossing his legs and whispering a quiet comment about "impatient, hormonal werewolves."

Remus was sure that the splitting headache he had could not get any worse. All he could bloody do was remember Hermione kissing him and remember kissing _her_ back.

"I get why you're so torn up about this, Moony," Sirius began again, "to be fair, it does sound bad at first. But really – when I think about it – this makes more sense than just about anything I've ever known."

Remus stared at his friend for a long moment, not knowing quite how to react to this.

"She's legal," Sirius said, standing up from the couch and pacing the room, "and from what I've seen, she seems to understand you more than just about any living woman on the planet. You understand her, too." He turned to look at Remus, his expression unusually candid. "If you ask me, the two of you deserve each other."

"She's still my student, Sirius," Remus muttered blankly. While he appreciated hearing these words from his friend, they were not helping with the biggest problem he had right now.

Sirius shrugged. "That ends in… what? Two months?"

Remus nodded, remembering the final words Hermione had spoken to him that very morning. _She graduates in two months._

"You've just got to hold back for a little while, Remus. Did you set her straight?"

"I tried to," Remus croaked out, remembering the slight hint of a crestfallen expression he'd received after speaking to her in the morning.

"Just don't hurt her," Sirius shook his head in thought, "Merlin knows Harry would probably kill you. Then Ron, then Molly, then Arthur, then just about every other Weasley, then-"

"Enough," Remus cut his friend off with a pointed look.

"Okay, what I'm trying to say is that you've got to keep your distance, but don't pull away too much. She still needs your help."

Sirius was in a surprisingly rational mood. Perhaps it was the shattered mug that had put him into such a receptive state of mind.

"And if Albus finds out?" Remus mumbled, a sour expression on his face.

"Dumbledore can't do shit about it. He needs you here at Hogwarts, so it's not like he can fire you. Besides, only sex or sexual relationships between a teacher and student are forbidden. You didn't have sex with her, nor are you in a relationship." Sirius crossed his arms, "don't worry, mate, if it comes to a duel, I'll back you up. Then you and Hermione can run off to another country or something. Maybe Spain. Everyone runs off to Spain. Then they'll write a book about you one day: _Werewolf Lovers in Spain._"

"Don't make me throw something else at you, Sirius," Remus growled warningly.

"Okay, okay," Sirius said placatingly, "I'm just trying to show you that it's honestly not as dramatic as you're making it out to be. Don't worry, Moony, soon things will go back to normal. Hermione knows that she wasn't supposed to kiss you, and she won't do it again. It'll be fine."

Remus had always thought Sirius had a much too relaxed view of life and it's consequences. Sirius, on the other hand, had always thought Remus had a much too uptight view. At this moment, Remus almost wished he could trade with Sirius, if only to not undergo this inner turmoil any longer.

"Alright," Sirius sighed, "I can see that my efforts at consoling you aren't getting me anywhere." The Animagus stood and started towards the Floo, "I'll be right back with the Firewhisky. Meanwhile, you can clean up the mess from that little temper tantrum." Sirius said these final words with a pointed finger at the shattered remains of the mug, spilled tea coating the floor and walls around it. Before Remus could say or do anything else, Sirius disappeared into the flames.

His shoulders hunched and his hand rubbing his forehead, Remus sat in contemplative silence. He didn't have any classes tomorrow morning, and alcohol _did_ sometimes help with the recovery after a full moon.

_Yes_, Remus decided, _I can get drunk tonight_.

* * *

The Gryffindor Common Room buzzed with chatter as most of the resident Gryffindors settled in for the evening. Hermione sat beside Harry and Ginny on the couch in front of the fireplace. It had long ago become labeled "their couch" and most of the other students stayed away from the area when it came to about this time in the evening.

Harry and Ron were excitedly talking about Quidditch. Apparently, the upcoming final against Hufflepuff was looking to be an easy win. "Matthews says that Summerby shattered his hand," Ron buzzed, an excited grin on his face. "Even with everything Madam Pomfrey could do he's not back to the usual standards."

Harry nodded in contemplation.

"Don't you see what this means, mate?" Ron cheered, "their Seeker will be in no shape to catch the snitch at the final. We'll win for sure!"

"The final is still a long way away, Ron," Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

"It's good news anyway," Ron huffed, settling back into his chair.

Harry and Ron continued discussing strategy while Ginny turned to Hermione. "It's good to have you back here," she murmured quietly, "I've been starting to get really sick of having nothing but boys for company."

Hermione smiled, watching the fire absently. It reminded her of the fire in Remus' rooms. She doubted she would be able to visit him again after what happened. "Well," she sighed, realizing that she'd gone too long without responding to Ginny, "you know how it is with these N.E.W.T.s. I just wish the boys would join me for revising…"

"They will eventually," Ginny glanced over at the pair of them. Ron had enchanted his Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans to float in the air. It was a strange formation that Hermione assumed was supposed to represent the players on a Quidditch pitch.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Ginny asked, "You still look a little pale."

Hermione glanced at her friend, trying to plaster on her best "Nothing's Wrong" smile. "I think I've had a rotten couple of months in terms of my immune system. It's nothing serious, I'm sure."

Ginny's worried look didn't completely die out, but she focused her attention on other things. Hermione let out a small breath. It was really getting hard to hide the whole Werewolf thing. She was starting to wonder if there was really even a point in hiding it at all anymore. Before she'd not wanted Harry, Ron, and Ginny to know because she knew Remus would feel ostracized by them and she'd been especially worried about how Ron would react. Plus, there had been the question over what would happen if either Ron or Ginny let it slip to their Mum or one of their other family members. She knew that they were both capable of keeping a secret like this, but the Weasley family was a different kind, and she'd experienced many instances of secrets getting out very easily when the family was together.

Hermione wondered whether these were valid reasons to keep it a secret anymore. Everyone had to find out eventually, and Remus' feelings of guilt weren't a huge concerning factor since he'd spoken to Sirius. In reality, it would be much wiser to tell them about her Lycanthropy as soon as possible, but Hermione just couldn't. She knew that they would all be outraged with her for keeping it so long, but she couldn't think of a time that would be right to tell them. When and under what circumstances do you tell your closest friends that you were captured by their arch-enemy's father and brought into the Forbidden Forest with their Werewolf DADA Professor only to be infected by said Professor when the assassination attempt fell through?

"You know," Ginny hummed in thought, eyeing Hermione closely, "there's something else that looks different about you…"

"There is?" Hermione feigned ignorance, looking down at herself and shrugging.

"I don't know…" Ginny looked Hermione up and down. "Have you been eating differently or something? Maybe it's that."

_Yes, I have most definitely been eating differently. Along with running several times a month for hours on end and transforming into a werewolf every few weeks._

Hermione kept these thoughts inside her mind. "I suppose it's the sickness. It's made it harder to eat some foods without getting nauseous." It was half true; the increased sense of smell around the full moon deterred her from a few of the more pungent food options Hogwarts had to offer.

Although she pretended not to know what Ginny was talking about, Hermione knew exactly what the girl meant. Only a few nights ago after getting out of the bath she'd caught a quick glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror and had to do a double take. Her body had transformed noticeably in the past few months. The remaining scarring on her shoulder and the bite mark on her lower calf were one thing, but the change in her body shape was something else entirely. She was leaner and more muscular now. It was easy to tell why Remus had the body type he did after so many years of this lifestyle.

"Well, you look good," Ginny observed, leaning back and joining in on Harry and Ron's conversation, which had now moved to talk about how excited Harry was that Sirius had promised to come to the Quidditch final and then sneak into the castle to spend some time with Harry afterwards.

Hermione had trouble rejoining the conversation; her thoughts strayed on that encounter with her reflection in the mirror a few days ago. She'd stared at herself for nearly half an hour, trying to become accustomed to the changes that she'd failed to notice so far. Eventually, her eyes traveled to the scars. Her shoulder was healed, but it had left behind several raised white lines of scar tissue in its wake. The bite mark on her leg was pretty much the same story. Hermione knew it would never heal, but she still wished it would. She wished that it could go away not for her own sake, but because she wanted Remus to see that the damage he'd done was healed.

Thoughts of Remus brought her, as they always did, to the memory of their kiss. She picked up her hand, her fingertips brushing against her lips absently as she remembered the feeling of his fervent kissing. It was a blissful memory, but it also made Hermione quite disconsolate. Remus had been more distant than ever since the kiss. The guilt over what they had done obviously weighed heavily on him, as did every other bloody thing associated with her. She wondered if their relationship could recover from this. Hermione regretted allowing herself to lose control and kiss him in the first place, and knowing Remus, he probably regretted it too.

_Maybe we just need to pretend it never happened. Just forget about it._

Her mind decided that this was a good enough plan for now, so Hermione pushed thoughts of Remus out of her mind and rejoined the conversation with her friends.

* * *

Hermione's research into the Wolfsbane had moved onto a new stage and she felt that she had learned all she could from the books Snape had given her. They had some very intriguing theories about the anatomy of the brain and how some other potions had an effect specifically on the frontal lobe. None of the research so far had disagreed with anything Hermione theorized about the potion, and she hoped that this meant her initial plan wasn't too far-fetched.

On the weekend that Hermione finished the last of Professor Snape's books, she decided that it was time to go to him again. So, on that Sunday morning she made the trek to his office, her bag magically lightened to decrease the daunting weight of the books. In her mind was a delicate and meticulously thought-out plan of what she was going to say to Professor Snape.

Luckily, Draco Malfoy was not in his office this time. Hermione entered after knocking a couple times, approached his desk, and retrieved the books from her bag. "I finished them, sir."

Snape looked up from a strange book he'd been reading, evidently intrigued. With a flick of his wand the books were floating from her hands and back to the shelves. "And how did you find them?" he asked neutrally.

"They were actually very interesting. I think most of the theories agree with mine."

"So you still believe this is possible?" She couldn't tell if his tone was one of mild amusement or bland indifference.

She shrugged. "I don't know for sure, but I was hoping to take my research further and find out. That's half the reason I'm here, actually." She took a deep breath, preparing for him to reject her, "I wondered if it would be possible for me to use the lab in your classroom to test some theories out. I promise that I won't be a bother, and I'd only use it for a few hours after classes are over."

He didn't say anything for a long moment. "You do realize that I would be required to supervise you? Students are not allowed to brew in my dungeons without supervision."

"I know," she started playing with the hem of her shirtsleeve, "but I'm hardly the kind of student that needs supervision. You wouldn't necessarily have to be in the classroom watching me. If you were in here," she gestured to his office, "or somewhere else nearby I'm sure that I could find you if I needed help."

His expression was something of a frown, but his words came out much kinder than she'd expected. "You may use the classroom," he intoned, "but only after classes are out for the day and only so long as you use all your own ingredients and supplies to brew. If you need ingredients specific to the Wolfsbane potion you may ask me for them, but I reserve the right to reject your request."

Hermione beamed, "Of course, Professor, thank you so much." She felt like she could hug him, but, knowing Professor Snape, that was probably a terrible idea.

He held up a hand to stop her from any more celebration, "I would like to inform you that I am doing this not because I believe this theory is any stronger now than I did before, but merely because I know that your insight into a werewolf's condition might aid you to actually make some sort of advancement. If you don't, and this whole theory fails, perhaps it will lower your overbearing Gryffindor pride to the level of a normal person."

His words were biting, but she could see the true meaning behind them; he _believed_ in her. She knew she was reading too far into it, but it sounded a lot like Professor Snape was saying that out of all the people who could set out on this sort of project, he believed that she was one of the few who could come out with results. Even if that wasn't what he meant, she would take his snarky attitude any day if only to get the chance to test out her theories and work in a proper lab.

"Thank you, sir, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this opportunity."

He waved his hand, "I have work to do, Miss Granger. You may begin your research on Monday afternoon."

She nodded once more, backing out of the office and nearly leaping for joy once she was in the empty dungeon corridor.

* * *

"Hermione."

"…Hermione!_"_

Hermione picked her head up from the parchment that she was furiously scrawling notes on, looking at Harry with irritation. "What_?_" she whispered, chancing a quick glance at Remus to make sure he wasn't looking their way. Remus was deeply engaged in the lecture he was giving to the class.

He leaned closer, his eyes traveling across the room to where most of the Slytherins sat. "Look at Malfoy."

Hermione did so begrudgingly. Draco sat at a table alone. Most of his friends sat in the rows in front of him. Even Blaise Zabini, whom he'd usually sat next to in all classes before, was now sitting with Pansy Parkinson. She wondered why Zabini would not want to sit with Draco anymore, but then she realized that she probably knew why.

"He looks sick, right?" Harry asked, still whispering. "Do you think something's happened?"

Harry was right. Draco looked pale and exhausted, like he could barely keep up with Remus' lecture. Defense Against the Dark Arts had never been a difficult class for Draco so that was strange enough on it's own.

"It's probably none of our business, Harry,_"_ she replied coolly, returning her attention to the lecture. But she couldn't concentrate on the lecture, and it wasn't even because of Draco or the fact that Harry was _still_ blatantly staring. The main reason she couldn't pay attention was because this was Remus' class and whenever she even looked at him anymore she was just reminded of the kiss and everything she'd messed up by instigating it. Plus, there was always the distraction caused by Ron and Lavender, who were currently sitting directly in front of Harry, holding hands under the desk and passing notes.

She shook the stray thoughts out of her head, realizing that the class was almost over and she needed to at least take _some_ notes from Remus' lecture.

"But, as you all know, it's nearly impossible to properly utilize a Mobile Ward against a well-executed Unforgivable Curse," Remus spoke with ease, leaning up against the front of his desk and gesturing towards the enchanted chalkboard behind him. Listed on it were several basic facts about Mobile Wards.

Her attention still couldn't stay on the lecture. Just looking at Remus was enough to set her mind off on a great, exhausting tangent. She watched him closely, trying to pinpoint exactly why she'd barely stopped thinking about him for weeks. Perhaps it was just the Lycanthropy. Hermione frowned. She didn't want to only pin this on her becoming a werewolf. It felt like it was more than that. She _wanted_ it to be more than just that.

He really was quite handsome. Despite the scarring and the tired features he had the sort of looks that she could tell were very endearing when he'd been younger. They still were endearing to Hermione, and, as she suspected, many other girls. In fact, Hermione recalled passing by some younger Ravenclaw girls just that morning who were talking mooning over Professor Lupin. They'd all had obvious crushes on him. Remus was simply easy to like, always kind and attentive. He made every student – every person – feel special and appreciated.

The more Hermione thought about it, the more she missed being able to go to his rooms and talk to him. It had lasted for a little less than a month, and she missed that month dearly. She wished she could talk to him about menial things again. She wanted to tell him about Harry and Ron and what they were getting up to. She wanted to tell him about how her research was going again. He didn't even know that she'd begun experimenting in Snape's lab.

A tap on her shoulder drew Hermione away from these thoughts. Harry was looking at her very oddly. "Are you okay?" he whispered, glancing at Remus and then back at her.

Hermione internally cringed. She'd been staring like a lovesick child. On the bright side, though, at least it appeared that Harry was the only one to spot it. "Yeah," she breathed, "I'm fine. Just thinking about the lecture."

Harry nodded warily. Hermione turned back towards Remus, only to find that his eyes were trained on her. She cursed herself for not remembering that Remus had the same enhanced hearing she did and had probably heard their whole conversation. He continued on with the lecture a second later, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary. Hermione made a promise to herself right then and there to be much more careful around Harry and the others. There had been far too many close calls as of late.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for the wonderful response on the last chapter! I knew people would like the kiss, but I was absolutely floored at all the positive responses I received.

In other news… That last line was a bit of foreshadowing. The next chapter is a really, really big one. Any guesses on what's going to happen?


	10. Hell Hath No Fury

**X**

Hell Hath No Fury

* * *

The next full moon – the second-to-last before Graduation – turned out to be a long succession of bad events and poor choices for Hermione.

It began with the young werewolf skipping out on running with Remus the week before the moon. It was simply too awkward to be around him and Hermione decided that she still had to spend a lot of time revising for N.E.W.T.s. Plus, Harry and Ron had finally joined her in her revision and were now working with her in the library most days after school. The mother in her knew that she had to take advantage of the opportunity to better prepare the boys.

Hermione's lack of exercise left her jumpy, restless, and stressed during the week leading up to the full moon. Even Ron was noticing the changes in her, and he barely ever noticed anything like that. She knew that she was going to have to find out another way to hide her condition around the full moon or face telling her friends the truth. Because she knew that she wasn't ready to bear all to them yet, Hermione decided that on Friday, the day after the full moon, she was going to go to class and work hard and try to appear healthy and happy. She wouldn't risk raising any more suspicion.

On the night of the full moon Remus was late to meet Hermione and Professor Snape in the front of the school. Surprisingly enough, Snape inquired about Hermione's experiments while they stood there waiting. Despite looking bland and stoic about it, Hermione could tell that he had actually asked out of interest.

"I've been looking into the reaction of certain catalyst herbs with the Wolfsbane plant and the other ingredients in the potion," she explained to Professor Snape, not noticing that Remus had arrived.

"You've moved on to testing?" He asked, surprised. The group began walking out of the school, Snape disillusioning them as they went.

Hermione nodded, taking a deep breath before meeting Remus' eyes. "Professor Snape is allowing me to use the Potions Lab for it."

Remus quirked a brow. "That's quite a kind gesture of you, Severus."

Hermione had peeled her eyes away from Remus, watching the path in front of her as they exited the school and headed towards the gate. Now, though, Remus' tone prompted her to steal a quick glance at him. She couldn't be sure of what she saw in his expression, but for a split second she thought she saw a hint of possessiveness there.

"She was quite bothersome about it," Snape offered, his tone showing that he honestly could care less what Remus thought about this anymore.

The trio made the journey to Remus' cottage, Snape Disapparating only seconds after they arrived. It was when Hermione and Remus were alone that she truly felt the awkwardness settle in. Knowing that it was going to be a long twenty minutes until moonrise, she quickly grabbed her dressing gown and fled to the bathroom, waiting there up until a few moments before moonrise.

When she exited the bathroom Remus was already ready, sitting on the couch with a contemplative expression. Hermione felt the restlessness rise within her as moonrise drew closer. She began to pace. Remus' eyes followed her as she did so.

Pacing wasn't something she'd ever done in the past. The fact that she was doing it now was evidence of what the lack of running in the past week did to her, along with the stress about NEWTs and Remus. It was going to be a long night.

Soon Hermione was forced to stop pacing, the waves of discomfort rolling into new waves of excruciating pain. The transformation was starting.

* * *

Remus allowed the tremors of the transformation to fade away slowly, lying down on the ground and closing his eyes. He had a headache, which he knew would persist throughout the whole day if he didn't get some rest when they got back to Hogwarts.

He could feel the warmth of the morning light streaming through the window on his back. Summer was close. Picking up his head, he found the dressing gown that he'd worn last night and shrugged it on while still lying on the ground. Eventually, he glanced towards Hermione. She looked exhausted and drained, and he knew it was because she'd stayed up nearly all night in her wolf form.

Remus sighed, feeling sorry for letting things happen the way they did and wishing that he and Hermione could just go back to how things were before. Before the kiss he'd actually been able to help her with the lycanthropy. He wished that the kiss to never have happened, but more importantly he wished that he could revert to innocent feelings toward her. But then again, Remus had been having slightly less-than-innocent feelings towards Hermione for longer than he cared to admit.

Remus covered his face with his hands and tried to not relive the way her lips and body had felt against him. He remained like that until the door to the cottage creaked open and Severus's footsteps entered. Hermione seemed to be just waking up, having dozed off slightly in her utter exhaustion.

Severus flicked his wand and two Pepper-Up Potions appeared on the ground, one in front of Remus and the other in front of Hermione. They both drank. After downing the potion Remus felt significantly better, his headache finally abating. He could tell that Hermione wasn't at risk of passing out from exhaustion anymore, but she still looked to be in bad shape.

Both Remus and Hermione changed back into their clothes while Severus stood, tapping his foot by the front door. At last the trio set off back to Hogwarts. Hermione was very slow on the trip up to the castle, which prompted Severus to act in his normally cruel manner. "We _do_ have things to do today, Miss Granger, things that do not involve making a four hour trip up to the castle," said the Potions Master.

Hermione ignored him, but Remus gave Severus an icy glare to compensate.

When they eventually arrived at the castle Remus was sure that Hermione would decide to stay in the Hospital Wing all day. He was therefore surprised when she told Poppy that she wasn't going to miss any classes today, and that she needed to get back to her rooms to prepare for breakfast.

"Hermione," Remus spoke up, "you're exhausted. You should take the day off." He himself always missed breakfast and sometimes a few classes the morning after the full moon.

She shook her head. "I'll be fine." He noted that she refused to make eye contact with him.

"Please, Hermione," he said, "you really need to get some rest."

She picked her head up and glared at him. "I'll be fine," was her clipped response before exiting the Hospital Wing.

Remus' shoulders slumped as he turned and begun the long trek back to his quarters for a nap. Hermione would soon understand how important immediate rest was after a full moon. He only hoped that she learned her lesson this time and didn't completely exhaust herself in the process.

* * *

The scent of lavender filled the bathroom, wafting above the water and causing Hermione to feel drowsy and at peace. She sighed deeply, letting her mind float away while she relaxed into the warm bathwater.

In the end she had made it through the whole day of classes just fine. Truthfully, she was completely knackered, but she'd still made it through the day of classes. In the afternoon Harry asked her if she was coming to the Quidditch pitch to watch their last practice before the final. Hermione cursed herself, remembering that she'd promised Harry and Ron to watch their practice. It was a very important event for them, as they were both graduating and would likely never play competitive Quidditch again.

She told Harry that she couldn't go in the end. He understood, having obviously noticed her battle with exhaustion throughout the day.

This left Hermione with a peaceful afternoon to herself. She was intent on taking a nice long bath with some of the lavender soap her mum had sent, along with getting as much rest as she could. The bath turned out to be just what she needed. Hermione even drifted off to sleep for a few moments, or at least she _thought_ it was a few moments.

"HERMIONE!"

The shouting awoke her, making her start in the lukewarm bathwater. Someone was calling her name, muffled by the door to her bedroom. The voice sounded a lot like Harry, and this was enough to make Hermione jump out of the water and hastily pull some clothes on. She exited the bathroom and ran to the door of her bedroom, now able to hear that he was both pounding on the door and shouting for her. She opened it, finding Harry, still wearing all of his Quidditch gear, fixed with the most panicked expression she'd seen in a long time.

"Harry," she gasped, "what happened?"

"Ginny- it's Ginny," he sputtered out, breathing heavily, "She's been attacked."

Hermione's stomach dropped. She was fairly certain that she now wore the same expression of complete panic as Harry.

"She walked down to the Quidditch Pitch alone and then when she didn't arrive we went to look and-" Harry broke off, desperately trying to regain his composure.

"Harry where is she? Is she alright?" Hermione's voice was high and shrill when she spoke.

He rubbed his temples, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe this. "I- I think she'll be okay. She's in the hospital wing and-"

Before Harry could finish the sentence Hermione had stormed past him, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him along at breakneck speed. Soon enough they were running to the Hospital Wing, crossing the school in record time and ignoring all the strange looks they received along the way. The only thing that Hermione could think about was how she had planned to walk down to the Quidditch Pitch with Ginny. At the last moment she'd cancelled on them all, leaving Ginny to walk to the Pitch alone.

A few random students occupied the Hospital wing, sitting in beds and waiting for medical attention from Pomfrey. What caught Hermione's attention, however, was that the whole back of the room was curtained off from view. Madam Pomfrey bustled past Hermione and Harry just as they entered. She looked over her shoulder at them, pointing to the back of the room and leading the way. Shaking, Hermione made her way toward the closed-off area of the wing, pushing through some curtains and finding that it was packed with people.

Her eyes searched through a sea of Weasley-red hair for Ginny. She found the girl lying in one of the hospital beds, unconscious. Ginny looked pale and sickly. Hermione could immediately recognize this as being a result from blood loss. There wasn't much else to infer from Ginny's state, other than the fact that whomever had attacked her had likely intended to kill.

Mrs. Weasley sat at Ginny's bedside, sniffling softly. Mr. Weasley stood behind her, one hand on her shoulder and an expression of angry devastation on his face. Ron, Fred, and George were on the other side of the bed, watching their sister's form sadly.

Several feet away stood about half of the Order of the Phoenix. Hermione spotted many familiar faces, including Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Remus, Sirius, Tonks, and Mad-Eye. Dumbledore spoke softly while the others listened. Hermione caught Remus' eye where he stood between Sirius and McGonagall. The expression he wore was enough to confirm Hermione's sneaking suspicion of what this was all about.

"What happened, Harry?" she asked stonily, turning to the bespectacled boy who now stood beside her.

His lips pulled into a thin line. "They didn't tell me much, only that McGonagall arrived and scared off whoever was attacking Ginny. I don't-" Harry ran a hand over his face. The distress almost radiated off of him. "Pomfrey said Ginny could've _died_ if McGonagall had been a minute or two later."

Hermione combed a hand through her hair, only realizing at that moment that her hair was still damp from her bath. She wanted to say something to Harry, but no words would come.

Just then, Ron looked up from his place at Ginny's side. He stood and slowly made his way over to Harry and Hermione. Hermione was sure that had she not been in the midst of a terrible maelstrom of anger and guilt she would have tackled Ron in a hug and started sobbing into his shoulder at that moment.

"I needed some air," Ron explained uselessly. He, like Harry, was still wearing all of his Quidditch gear. His face looked pale and his posture slumped with obvious emotional exhaustion.

"Is she going to be okay?" Hermione asked shrilly.

Ron nodded. "Pomfrey said she'll miss several days of school. Sh- she was pretty banged up, Hermione," Ron's voice broke bitterly. Another wave of anger rose within Hermione. She looked to the group of Order members that was assembled only a few feet away, once again catching Remus' gaze. He looked sad and foreboding, like he knew something she didn't.

Hermione pushed past Harry and Ron, making her way towards the small circle of Order members. Dumbledore had been murmuring quietly to McGonagall and Snape, but he stopped when he saw Hermione approach, tailed by Harry and Ron.

By the time Hermione breached the circle most eyes were on her. She looked at Remus, her gaze drifting to McGonagall and Sirius, who stood on either side of him. They all looked at her with a sort of sadness that made her feel sick. "Who was it?" she asked stonily.

Nobody spoke.

After waiting too long for no response, she focused her gaze on Snape. The Potions Master stood still and expressionless for a long moment, before finally responding. "Lucius," he murmured, his dark eyes boring into Hermione's.

She saw red. It was only seconds before Hermione was storming from the Hospital Wing. All her resounding aches and pains of the full moon were forgotten in her raging anger. She could vaguely hear several sets of footsteps following her, along with the voices of Harry and Ron asking her where she was going and pleading with her to stop and explain what this meant. The vague sixth-sense that she'd developed somewhere in the back of her mind told her that Remus was trailing her as well.

She stormed all the way to the Great Hall, where dinner was currently taking place. Not thinking anything about consequences or what people would say, Hermione pushed into the grand room and strode all the way to the Slytherin table.

Draco was sitting near the end of the table alone. He was eating his dinner listlessly, occasionally glancing down the table to where his fellow Slytherins sat. Hermione did not falter in her procession towards Draco, finally catching his attention when he looked up. He watched her in complete confusion, his eyes darting to Ron, Harry, and Remus, who stood just outside the Great Hall.

"What are you-" Draco began, cut off when Hermione grabbed his arm and roughly pulled him from the table. He tried to pull away, but her grip was too strong. He stumbled away from the Slytherin table and Hermione nearly dragged him out of the Great Hall, back into the corridor where Harry, Ron, and Remus stood.

"What the fuck, Granger?" Draco nearly shouted, looking back to the Slytherin table, where many of the students were watching. Some students at the other tables watched as well, but most of the Great Hall hadn't cared to notice Hermione's storming entrance. She would be thankful for this later.

"Hermione-" Remus began, but she ignored him, continuing down the corridor with Draco stumbling along until they were well out of sight of the Great Hall. Harry and Ron followed as well, sharing looks and eyeing Draco closely. The boys were smart enough to understand at least part of what was going on now; they'd heard Snape mention Lucius Malfoy, and now Hermione was aggressively dragging Draco out of the Great Hall as if he'd done this to Ginny himself.

She pushed Draco against the wall of the corridor, her expression menacing and her wand pointed directly at his neck. "I should be asking you that, Draco. What the fuck? I kept your secret!" She was shouting and cursing, her rage unstoppable in that moment. Remus put up a muffling charm around them.

She continued on her tirade, poking her wand into Draco's chest. "I wanted to _help_ you! I _tried_ to help you, and this is how you repay me?" Her wand was glowing red with the anticipation of all the harsh curses she wanted to cast. Her final words were more menacing and surprising to Harry and Ron than anything else; "I should have killed you when I had the chance."

"I- I don't know what you're talking about!" Draco sputtered, looking to the others as if asking for help. It seemed that Harry and Ron's expressions weren't very comforting, because his eyes soon darted back to Hermione.

"Of course you do," she raged, bright red sparks shooting from the tip of her wand, "Your father was behind all of it _again_!"

He suddenly looked very confused. Hermione hesitated, and before she could speak again there was a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Remus. With an anxious expression, he gently pulled her wand hand away from Draco. Hermione turned and faced him fully now. She could feel the burning of angry tears begin to form in her eyes. Remus kept his hand on her shoulder the whole time, and she could feel the wave of calm through his touch. Somewhere in the back of her mind Hermione wondered how angry and unhinged she would have become had Remus not been present when she'd confronted Draco.

Taking a deep breath and pushing aside the part of her that wanted to cry about this, Hermione looked behind Remus to where Harry and Ron stood. Ron was glaring at Draco openly, the tips of his ears red with anger. Harry looked angry as well, but more so bewildered than anything else. Hermione knew right then that she had to explain everything to them. There was no more putting it off; tonight all her secrets would come to light.

"Perhaps we should go back to the Hospital Wing," Remus suggested softly, dropping his hand from Hermione's shoulder, "you may accompany us, Draco." Hermione followed Remus' gaze back to Draco, whose eyes were darting between the four Gryffindors in front of him with a hardly-restrained fear.

"I don't know what's going on," Draco began hastily, now looking at Remus, "I haven't spoken to my father in weeks, I swear."

"It's alright, Draco," Remus interjected, taking up the kind and peaceful character that Hermione had always admired, "We'll just need to talk to Professor Dumbledore about this. You're not necessarily in any trouble."

Draco inclined his head in a minuscule nod. Remus let out a breath, "alright, then. We should clear out of the corridor before the rest of the students leave dinner."

Together, the odd group made their way back to the Hospital Wing. Remus stayed close to Hermione, as if to keep her from doing something rash or violent again. Despite thinking that she was in control of her temper now, she knew that she wasn't. A trend she'd noticed around the full moons was the increased aggression and lack of forethought, but it had never been as bad as it was today. She supposed it could be accounted to the quite emotionally and physically exhausting full moon combined with the fact that Ginny of all people had been attacked and she suspected Draco Malfoy to be behind it.

But _did_ she suspect Draco? She'd been more than certain several moments ago, but now… Draco had seemed so honestly shocked by her accusations, and although he could very well be an extraordinary actor. Still… she really hadn't expected him to revert back to aiding his father. It had seemed that all of her efforts with him were actually getting somewhere. She chanced a look over in his direction. Remus was standing between them in an attempt to stop any more violent actions, but she still caught Draco's eye. He looked at her pleadingly, as if that desperate expression would vouch for his innocence in this. It was very odd coming from Draco Malfoy. Hermione looked away, keeping her eyes locked straight ahead and focusing on calming her temper the whole way back to the Hospital Wing.

Ginny's corner of the Hospital Wing was still closed off and full of people, most of whom looked surprised at the returning group. The Weasleys and Sirius, most of all, looked astonished by Draco's presence. Ginny's bed was still exposed and Hermione watched as Draco caught a glimpse of her through the throng of her family members. He stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the pale, unconscious girl in bed with her crying mother and worried family members by her side. "My _father_ did that?" he whispered, horrified.

It was now that Hermione truly accepted the fact that Draco probably had nothing to do with this. Even if he had been involved, it was stupid of her to go charging into the Great Hall and dragging him out in a rage. There would definitely be some rumors in the morning. Plus, she now had plenty of explaining to do to Ron and Harry.

Dumbledore had left the circle of Order members, approaching Hermione, Draco, Remus, Harry, and Ron. "Hello, Mr. Malfoy," he greeted the blonde gingerly, as if there was nothing wrong in the world. Next he turned to the group as a whole. "Would you all like to come have a word with the group?" He motioned back to the collective of adults, all watching with interest. "Draco, I'm sure you have already come to a certain understanding of the situation." Draco nodded. Dumbledore smiled, looking over his shoulder to Snape. "Professor Snape has assured us that you are not to blame in this situation and I believe it would be prudent if you returned to your rooms until he can speak with you."

Draco nodded again, glancing at Hermione, Harry, and Ron cautiously. Hermione tried to offer him a somewhat apologetic nod, but she thought that perhaps it might have come out as more of an approval of Dumbledore's sending him away. She couldn't see the expressions of Harry or Ron, but she guessed that they were still both in some sort of stage of emotional upheaval.

Draco then looked toward Snape, who nodded minutely at him. Hermione didn't know quite what it meant, but she assumed that Snape would be speaking to Draco about all of this very soon. Draco left then, walking out of the Hospital Wing nervously, turning and looking back at Hermione and the others every few seconds until he was out of view. Once he was gone Dumbledore led Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Remus over to the group of Order members. "Perhaps we should all have a bit of a conversation about this," he suggested gently. Something told Hermione that despite his soft tone, he would not allow her to leave before this conversation happened. She felt a twinge of embarrassment that she'd acted so rashly.

McGonagall, Snape, Sirius, Tonks, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were all there, watching the approaching group. Once inside the circle of Order members, Dumbledore looked to Snape. "Severus," he sighed, "perhaps it would be best if you repeated the explanation you gave us only a few moments ago about this evening's events."

Snape looked frustrated. "Lucius Malfoy was long ago assigned the task of getting to Potter's closest friends," Snape began, "and eliminating them if possible."

Harry inhaled sharply.

Snape's gaze fell on Hermione, and despite his blank expression, she could tell what he meant by looking at her. He was giving her a chance to interject, stop him before he revealed anything to Harry and Ron that would require a further explanation. Hermione didn't move, giving him no signal to stop.

"When Lucius' attempt on Miss Granger's life failed, he became more desperate."

This time both Harry and Ron snapped towards Hermione, their confused looks prying at her composure. "Later," she whispered shortly, hoping that they would be patient.

"It is my belief that Lucius has been searching for a way to harm one of Potter's close friends for a while, and when he found Miss Weasley alone and outside of the safety of the castle, he attacked." Snape finally let down his blank, emotionless wall for a moment and he actually looked sort of sad about it.

"He was probably looking for me," Hermione murmured, her eyes resting on the ground.

"What do you mean?" Harry spoke up, turning and facing her, "and why did Professor Snape say that he tried to kill you, Hermione?"

She picked her head up, looking around the circle. McGonagall, Tonks, Kingsley, and the Weasleys all looked suspicious. Sirius watched her sadly, but allowed her a reassuring half-smile when she looked at him. Snape had reverted to the same listless expression. Dumbledore caught her eye and nodded his approval. Finally, she looked to Remus, who stood directly to her left. He held her gaze for a long time, showing a mix of guilt, lamenting, and understanding. She realized that in his past he had likely gone through a similar situation many times, and had to face the question of whether or not to tell many people about his Lycanthropy often. In that moment she wanted so badly to put off Harry and Ron's questions and go back to Remus' quarters with him and drink tea in front of the fire like they used to.

Ron let out a sharp breath, interrupting Hermione's thoughts. "This whole situation is too bloody complicated," he breathed, voice thick with irritation and pent up anger.

Hermione decided then that this had to happen now. She looked to both Harry and Ron. "Let's sit down and I'll explain it, okay?" she voiced, pointing towards an empty hospital bed at the edge of the circle, still within sight of Ginny. Her main motive in wanting to sit down was simply that she'd been standing for a very long time and her legs were killing her. Her joints would ache and protest for hours more until the effects of the full moon finally wore off.

Harry and Ron followed as Hermione walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. The whole group of Order members watched curiously, standing around the hospital bed and sharing worried looks. Hermione caught Remus' eye once she was sitting, sharing a long, strange look with him. It wasn't so much a look that conveyed any sort of emotion or message, but it still felt reassuring to Hermione. She knew his calm demeanor had to be difficult; everyone was about to learn that he'd infected his student with Lycanthropy and nearly killed her in the process. But somehow, despite the knowledge of what Harry — whose opinion Hermione knew Remus valued more than he would ever say — was about to learn, he remained steadfast in his subtle support.

"Did something happen?" Harry spoke up, now sitting on one side of Hermione, Ron on the other, "is this why you've been so different lately?"

She looked him dead in the eyes and nodded.

"This is why you've been sick a lot too."

She nodded again.

"What happened?" It was Ron who spoke now.

Hermione took a deep breath, and then began to tell her story.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This was one of my favorite chapters/scenes when I was planning out this story. What did everyone think?


	11. Like a Woman Scorned

**XI**

Like a Woman Scorned

* * *

With Harry, Ron, and most of the Order of the Phoenix watching, Hermione told her sordid tale. She told them about Lucius Malfoy bringing Remus and herself into the Forbidden Forest four months ago. She told them in the gentlest words possible about how she barely managed to stay alive, only to be bitten by Remus. She told them about Snape finding them in the morning, about speaking to Dumbledore and trying to figure out how she was going to pick up the pieces of this mess.

The conversation was one that she had been anticipating as terrible and painful, but she soon found it to be one of the most liberating and relieving things she'd experienced in a long while. Not only could Hermione get the terrible burden of these secrets off of her shoulders, but she could also allow the others to assure Remus that he wasn't at fault for this. Remus was surprised by the amount of support he was getting, along with the distinct lack of outward blame from anyone.

She continued on with her story, explaining what had happened with Greyback in Hogsmeade and of all of their worries over the months about what Lucius would do next. She then started telling them about Draco, all of her confrontations with him and how far she thought he had come, along with why she had been so angry with him only moments ago.

The only thing Hermione left out was her research on the Wolfsbane and her growing relationship with Remus, knowing that these details would not benefit from being shared at a time like this. In the end she looked around the circle to the shocked, devastated, and sorrowful faces. Her gaze slowed on Harry and Ron. "I'm so sorry I've kept this from you for so long," she murmured, trying to maintain her composure. "I just- I didn't know how-"

Harry interrupted her with a fierce, crushing hug. "I'm sorry this happened," he whispered, his voice full of emotion.

"It's alright," she replied, catching Remus' steady gaze, "I think I'm through the worst of it now."

A shuffling behind Hermione alerted her to Ron's rise from the Hospital bed. He took a step, hesitated, and then turned to face her. "I can't believe this!" he shouted. "Why haven't we caught Malfoy yet? Or Greyback? Or Draco? We need to do something!" He whirled around, looking at Dumbledore with a barely-composed rage. "We just let Malfoy go! He's probably going to report to his father the next best way to try and kill one of us again. First Hermione, n-now Ginny…" Ron's voice broke off. Hermione watched from behind as his shoulders sagged. She stood from the bed, dropping Harry's embrace and approaching Ron.

"It's okay, Ron," she murmured softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know this makes you angry, but Draco wasn't behind this. There's nothing we can do now but keep ourselves safe from his father."

"No!" he yelled, turning around and brushing Hermione's arm from his shoulder, "we have to do something. Ginny could've- she almost _died_, Hermione! _You_ almost died! You're a _werewolf_ now because of him!"

The comment stung, but what stung more was seeing Remus flinch out of the corner of her eye. Hermione felt her temper flare. Without giving anything else much thought, she pulled her wand from her robes, taking another step towards Ron and opening her mouth to give him a piece of her mind. She was interrupted, however, by someone else's voice.

"Ronald." It was Mr. Weasley. The man stepped away from his weeping wife, a tense expression on his face as he looked between Ron and Hermione. "Yelling won't do us any good. I know this is hard, but I also know that Hermione needs you to be calm about this." He picked up his head and looked over Ron's shoulder at Hermione. Mr. Weasley was giving her a chance to reign in her temper before she did something stupid. She shut her mouth and lowered her wand hand. Mr. Weasley continued, an earnest expression on his face, "We're going to figure this out." These words weren't necessarily directed at Hermione, but she felt that they were meant for her. With them came acceptance and hope. This was something that she appreciated more than she could put into words.

Mrs. Weasley rushed forward suddenly, pulling Hermione into a teary, bone-crushing hug. "Oh, you poor child," she whispered, squeezing Hermione closer and barely restraining her tears. After a few seconds she appeared to remember Remus's part in all of this. "Remus!" she gasped, reaching out for the professor and dragging him into her embrace alongside Hermione. Hermione found herself awkwardly crushed between Remus and Mrs. Weasley, her elbow poking into his side and his feet clunking against hers. She had expected an emotional reaction from Mrs. Weasley, and despite having dreaded this encounter, she knew that it was worth everything. It was only now that Remus could truly understand how he had been as much of a victim as Hermione all along.

The following moments included many hugs and whispers about how strong Hermione was and how if _anyone_ could get through this, it was her. Even Sirius came forward, patting Remus on the back and pulling Hermione into his side for a brief hug. "I told them that you had to be the one to say it in the end," he said, looking at her proudly. "You did a good job."

She smiled up at him. "Thanks, Sirius."

"You knew?" Harry had stepped forward again, looking at Sirius perplexedly, his gaze shifting to Hermione and Remus every few seconds.

Sirius nodded, grinning slyly. "Lets just say I was a little nosy and came upon the information when I shouldn't have."

Harry watched his godfather for a moment before giving a wary nod. He seemed to be irked that Sirius had been privy to the information before him. It didn't worry Hermione; she knew Harry would eventually understand that she didn't intend for Sirius to know, it had just happened that way.

Next Hermione received a pair of rare hugs from Fred and George, who promised to send her plenty of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes products to help her through the bad days. "Oh," Hermione sighed, waving her hand, "you boys don't have to do that."

"But we insist," George smirked, patting her on the head gingerly.

"It wouldn't be fair if we did the same to Remus and not you," Fred continued.

"And they _definitely_ do it to me," Remus grumbled, shooting the twins an irritated glance.

Fred and George just laughed, retreating from Hermione and back to their parents and their still-unconscious sister.

All in all, it was several moments of great emotional upheaval, which left Professor Snape looking more disgruntled than Hermione had ever seen him. She watched him with a bemused expression, just as it seemed that many others turned their attention to him.

Snape looked to Dumbledore. "I think it would be prudent if I spoke to Mr. Malfoy sooner rather than later."

"I agree, Severus," Dumbledore nodded, "you may go."

Snape left, breezing past the group and past Hermione. When he passed she thought she saw him give her the slightest nod, but she figured that it must have simply been her imagination, because a moment later he was staring straight ahead and briskly exiting the Hospital Wing.

"In fact," Dumbledore spoke again, "I think it has been a long day for all of us. Perhaps we should all take the night and rest." He looked around the tired group before clapping his hands together and smiling, "very well. Poppy?"

Madam Pomfrey came bursting back into the curtained area, nodding to Dumbledore and checking up on Ginny. "Miss Weasley won't wake up until sometime tomorrow. Blood loss like this is very exhausting. None of you will miss anything if you retire for the night."

"Will she have a scar?" Hermione asked, not knowing why she'd so suddenly decided to voice the question.

Pomfrey examined Hermione closely for a moment. "I'm afraid so. The cutting hex did some damage that won't fully mend, not for several months at least."

Hermione let out a breath, frowning. Kingsley, Tonks, and Professor McGonagall soon left. The Hospital Wing was looking more empty and tired than before. Hermione found herself once again situated between Harry and Ron, this time at Ginny's bedside. Ron hadn't spoken since his initial outburst several minutes ago. He simply sat in contemplative silence.

"D'you want to come back to the Common Room with us, Hermione?" Harry inquired, his voice hoarse and tired. Hermione idly wondered if he had cried and screamed when he'd found out about Ginny and that was why his voice was so rough.

She sighed, thinking over his question and then shaking her head. "I think the Common Room might be a little loud for me right now. It is still the day after the full moon, after all."

Harry was quiet for a moment. At last, he spoke up. "You must have been so scared."

She chuckled dryly in an attempt to mask some sort of deeper emotion, "yeah. It was scary."

"I'm sorry you had to go through this," Harry murmured.

She could feel him looking at Ron, the two young men having a silent argument. "I'm sorry too Hermione," Ron piped up, "and I'm sorry I got so angry about it."

She looked at Ron, smiling genuinely despite the fact that she knew Harry had pushed him into that apology. "It's alright, Ron," she breathed, "you had a right to be angry after what's happened to your sister." Her eyes fell on Ginny's sleeping form again. She ruminated on the night's events for a long time. "I wish I could have been there with Ginny," she whispered, loud enough so only the boys could hear her, "then he would have attacked me instead. Maybe we could have fought him off together."

"Don't blame yourself Hermione," Harry spoke up, "if we've learned one thing over these past few months it's that guilt doesn't really help at all, right?"

She smiled despite herself, thinking of Remus. "You're only too right, Harry."

The boys decided to go back to the Common Room not long after this, knowing that Ginny would be there in the morning and riding on Dumbledore's apparent promise that they could miss all their classes tomorrow and spend the day in the Hospital Wing with Ginny if they so pleased.

Hermione sat by Ginny's bed for a few minutes after this, realizing that this was the first time she'd been alone with her thoughts since she found out about the attack hours ago. She thought a lot about how things would have gone differently had she accompanied Ginny to the Quidditch Pitch like they'd planned. Maybe Ginny wouldn't have been hurt at all in that situation. Maybe Malfoy would have killed both of them on the spot. There was no way she could know what would have happened, but one thing she did know was that she felt awful about it. Hermione would live with at least some modicum of guilt over this for the rest of her life.

She drew out of her deep thoughts, hearing footsteps behind her and knowing that they belonged to Remus. As he drew closer Hermione shut her eyes and took a deep breath, embracing the wave of cool calmness rising over her. Without looking behind her she could use her enhanced senses to tell that Dumbledore, Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley, and Sirius were still present, not far away from Ginny's sleeping form.

Remus took the seat Harry had vacated, languidly bending down and wincing at the soreness of his muscles. Hermione turned to look at him, her expression despondent.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm sore," she sighed, still fixing him with a sidelong glance, "but it's not as bad as it was this morning."

"That's good, but I meant how are you feeling about everything that's just happened." His lips quirked up in something of a fond smile. It made Hermione's heart flutter.

"Oh," she breathed, leaning back and examining her ink-spotted fingers. "I'm glad I got to tell them the truth, but it's also going to change a lot of things from now on. I'm sure you know that better than I do."

He nodded absently, "Yes."

They sat in silence for a few odd seconds before Remus spoke again, looking over his shoulder where Dumbledore and the others stood and then back at Hermione. "Do you want to come to my rooms?"

She could feel him wince at the awkwardness of it. "I mean-" he stammered in an attempt at recovery, "I just thought that it seemed like you didn't want to go back to your dormitory and it's been too long since we've actually talked and we can have tea and-"

"I'd like to," she interjected, looking at him and smiling at his sudden bashfulness.

He nodded, "ah- okay. Good."

The pair left the Hospital Wing not long after. Dumbledore and Sirius both noticed their exit, but neither seemed to care all that much. Hermione was glad that Dumbledore hadn't objected. It was inappropriate for a professional student-teacher relationship like theirs, but it appeared that Dumbledore didn't think rules of propriety applied to such a situation as this.

Remus' rooms hadn't changed at all since she'd last been there. He lit a fire in the fireplace immediately upon their entrance, starting a batch of tea a moment later. Hermione sat on the couch right where she used to sit, staring into the fireplace. It felt like everything had been moving so fast today and there hadn't been time to rest or think much, but now things were slowing down. She felt skittish and fatigued.

Remus brought her tea and she sipped it slowly. The warm liquid was somewhat calming as she swallowed it, but her hand still shook when she held the teacup and her knee still bounced up and down anxiously. Instead of sitting in his usual armchair across from her, he sat beside Hermione on the couch, his long legs bumping up against hers clumsily before he shifted away. She almost smiled.

"You look exhausted," he said softly, watching her while she stared off into the fire, "you should really try to get some sleep."

"I don't think I can right now," she murmured, her voice hoarse and broken.

He reached for her free hand that sat limply at her side, grasping it in both of his and rubbing his thumb over the skin on the palm of her hand. It felt _right_, and that thought just made Hermione even sadder. She set down her tea, knowing she would spill it if she didn't. His hands were still holding hers, and she felt a heavy weight in her stomach because she knew this was wrong and it wouldn't last but she wanted to stay here forever.

She inhaled, her breath hitching as a sob attempted to escape. Remus immediately removed one of his hands from hers and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She allowed a few tears to fall as her head rested against his shoulder, but nothing more. There would be time to cry later, not in front of Remus.

His hand moved up and down along her arm, only a few inches away from the scar that stretched over her shoulder and back. It was the scar that he'd given her. He hadn't seen her scars since that first night – or rather the morning after – in the Forbidden Forest. She wondered if he would feel better or worse to see how they'd healed.

Her body was shaking with the urge to cry, and that just made him pull her tighter against him. She wanted to live in this moment for a long time, but she simultaneously wanted to get as far away from it as possible, hating that he could see any evidence of her weakness.

It was a long time before she was able to speak. She dried her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper and took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't want to go back to my dormitory tonight."

He didn't speak for a moment. She stared into the fire. Finally, his soft works pulled her out of her reverie. "You can stay here," he mumbled.

She was thoroughly surprised. "Are you sure?"

He nodded without missing a beat. "It's not like it hasn't happened before. While I definitely shouldn't be allowing this, I think these are special circumstances."

With a flick of his wand hand, he'd summoned a blanket onto his lap. Picking it up, he began to drape it over her form. Next he stood from the couch, dropping all contact with her. Hermione reached for his arm. "Stay here," she pleaded, grasping his wrist lightly, "with me."

He shook his head. "I don't think that's a very good idea, Hermione." He looked over to the armchair, obviously aiming to settle there.

"You said it yourself: these are special circumstances." She sat up further on the couch, "it's so much easier when you're close, and I know you feel it too."

He looked like he wanted to protest, probably to say that he would sit in the armchair and that was close enough. He knew what she meant, of course; it was easier when they were physically touching.

Surprisingly enough, Remus didn't say anything else. He simply watched her for a long time. She could see his resolve crumbling. Eventually, his shoulders slumped and he sat back down on the couch beside her.

As Hermione settled into his side, his arm once again wrapping around her shoulders, she felt the steady stream of comfort roll back in. A part of her felt bad of coercing him into doing this, but she knew this would provide a better night's sleep for both of them. His eventual relaxation against her told her that he felt the same way.

She drifted off to sleep slowly, and Remus did the same.

* * *

**Author's Note:** The whole scene in the Hospital Wing was initially going to be a lot different, but it ended up like it is now and it feels right to me. I hope it felt right to all of you. Just remember that we're working towards Remus not hating himself for what he's done to Hermione. It's a long process, but we're slowly moving along.


	12. Adjust

**XII**

Adjust

* * *

Hermione woke up sprawled across a strange couch the next morning, realizing not long after that it was Remus' couch and Remus was absent from it. She realized why he was gone when she cast a _Tempus_ and saw that it was eleven o'clock in the morning.

_I must have been more exhausted than I thought._

She was honestly surprised that he'd left her in his quarters all alone. She understood that he probably had to get to breakfast and teach his classes today, but she never expected him to allow her to remain sleeping on his couch in his private rooms. If someone found her they would both be answering quite a few awkward questions.

With this in mind, Hermione decided that she might as well get out of here before anything bad happened. She got off the couch and neatly folded up the blanket that he'd summoned for her. As she straightened herself up and headed toward the door, something caught her eye.

Atop one of the shelves on his bookshelf were three framed photos. She narrowed her eyes, stepping closer and wondering why she'd never noticed them before. One was an old looking photo of a young couple, standing next to each other in front of a modest little house. The man had one arm around the woman's waist and the other showing off a key, which appeared to belong to the house. Hermione smiled at the sheer happiness of the couple. She knew that it was Remus' parents mostly because the woman had the same nose and mouth as him and the man had Remus' hair. She wondered idly why it was a non-magical photo. Were they Muggles? She felt like she would have heard something about it by now if Remus were a Muggle-born. Perhaps only one of his parents was a Muggle, then?

Hermione was suddenly realizing that there was a lot more she wished to know about Remus. She couldn't recall a time when he'd ever been very open with her about his life or his childhood in particular, except for the time when she'd asked him about getting bitten by Greyback. Perhaps she'd have to ask him more…

The next photo was one that Hermione knew very well. Remus had made a copy of it a few years ago and given it to Harry. It was a photo of Remus, Sirius, James, and Pettigrew when they were all children. They looked to be in their fifth year or so at Hogwarts. They were sitting together in the Gryffindor Common Room. Remus and Pettigrew seemed to have just been in the middle of a game of Wizard's Chess which Sirius and James had interrupted with the photo. Broad, lighthearted grins covered their young, innocent faces. It was eerie to compare the boys in this photo to the men she knew now. Both Sirius and Remus were extremely different from these young men, grinning and shoving each other around and looking like they had the world laid out before them. She recalled Sirius saying once that this had been one of the few pictures anyone had bothered to take of them during their Hogwarts years. Hermione knew Harry cherished it because of that, even though it did include Peter Pettigrew. Somehow, though, Pettigrew didn't seem all that evil and terrible in this picture, before he'd ever become a Death Eater. Hermione knew that Remus felt the same way and that he must have been a little closer to Peter than the other boys.

The last photo appeared to be many years later, in the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. It looked similar to another one Harry had received, but there were several major differences. For one, none of them knew that the picture was being taken. This one contained Harry's parents, Remus, Sirius, and a strange girl Hermione didn't know whom Sirius had his arm around. They were all sitting at a large table much like the one in the basement of Number 12, Grimmauld Place, focused on the person talking or holding their attention. The photo was being taken from the other side of the table, and Hermione wondered for a moment who had taken it. All in all, though, it was a pretty average photo. Hermione liked seeing it because Harry had never wanted to spend that much time sharing the photos of his parents with her, but now she got the chance to really have a close look at them. She also liked it because she got a better insight into how Remus was when he was closer to her age. He was happier and less reserved, without the self-consciousness and weariness that she knew now.

Finally, Hermione decided that she probably ought to leave Remus' rooms and not invade his privacy any more. Taking one last look to make sure everything was in its proper place, Hermione slipped out. Back in her dormitory she changed into fresh clothes and determined that it was time to visit Ginny.

The Hospital Wing was not heavily occupied on this morning, lucky for Hermione. Upon nearing Ginny's bed, Hermione noticed that the girl was already awake, Harry and Ron huddled at her bedside

"Hermione!" Ginny grinned broadly, extending her arms for a hug, which Hermione readily returned.

"I'm so sorry, Ginny," Hermione sputtered out, grasping her friend's shoulders tightly while Harry and Ron watched on, "I'm so sorry that all of this happened to you and I'm sorry that I wasn't there with you and-"

Ginny cut her off, "Hermione, slow down, slow down." She looked to Harry and Ron, sharing some sort of look with them that Hermione couldn't quite decipher. "Look, Harry and Ron told me some of what happened but they said that there's something important you need to explain to me."

Hermione looked over at Harry and Ron. Ron was staring at the ground, not daring to look up at Hermione. Harry nodded in affirmation of what Ginny had just said.

Hermione sighed, facing Ginny. "There's a lot of stuff that I haven't told you, stuff that you ought to have known, stuff that is probably half the reason why you were attacked yesterday."

"Don't look so guilty," Ginny quipped, "you didn't intend for this to happen and the boys assured me that this was in no way your fault."

Hermione nodded weakly, her chest going tight with emotion. Despite telling the story to nearly the whole Order yesterday, this was still wholly terrifying. It was probably the biggest secret she'd ever had, and it felt like it had been so much easier when no one but Remus, Dumbledore, and Snape had known. But this was important. Ginny was the final step in telling everyone close to her about what exactly had been going on over the past few months.

Thus ensued a very long conversation with Ginny, much like the one she had yesterday with the others. Harry and Ron sat there the whole time, listening patiently and nodding solemnly when Ginny looked at them in shocked disbelief. After the story began to wind down, there were a lot of teary hugs and questions on Ginny's part. Ginny wanted to know all about how it had happened in the first place, how Hermione had felt, and why she'd decided to handle it the way she did.

"Are you angry that I didn't tell you?' Hermione asked after she had finished explaining.

Ginny thought about it for a couple seconds, and then shook her head. "I understand why. While I do wish I could have known and tried to help you, it also makes sense why you wouldn't want to tell anybody."

"And it's not like we were giving you a lot of opportunities to tell us," Harry added, a slight hint of shame in his tone.

"It was just a difficult time," Ginny continued, looking between Harry and Hermione, "we can't hold blame for anyone in this sort of situation."

"Thank you, Ginny," Hermione said, suddenly feeling very weepy and affectionate. She hugged her friend tightly, careful not to hurt the redhead's wounds. Apparently Malfoy's cutting hex had hit her pretty badly across her abdomen, and could have been lethal if only aimed a few centimeters higher.

Ginny looked over at Harry next, and it was as if they were having some sort of silent conversation. "We should go," Harry said suddenly, elbowing Ron and sharing a look with Ginny. Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion as Harry kissed Ginny on the forehead and then he and Ron cleared out.

"What was that about?" Hermione began, watching the boys retreat from the Hospital Wing.

"Harry and I have developed a way of communicating with few words," Ginny smiled wryly. "I let him know that he and Ron needed to get out."

"Why?"

"Because," Ginny shifted in the hospital bed, sitting up with a wince, "we need to talk about a few very important things that don't involve the boys."

Hermione nodded. She had expected that this would be coming.

"First," Ginny smiled suspiciously, "is this why you suddenly have a crush on Lupin? Because you've been spending so much time with him?" Her face lit up with a thought, "_Merlin_, have you seen him naked?"

Hermione hushed Ginny quickly, checking over her shoulder to make sure that no one was nearby. She turned back to her friend. "Where do you get the idea that I've seen him naked?" she whispered, outraged.

"Well you two have been spending the full moons together, right? I mean, there isn't much room for clothing with that whole transformation thing. Bloody hell, he's probably seen _you_ naked too!"

"Shhhh!" Hermione checked over her shoulder again, and this time she made sure to cast a sound muffling charm around the pair of them. Madam Pomfrey had set up privacy wards around Ginny's bed, but that didn't ensure that Madam Pomfrey herself couldn't hear what they were talking about.

"Alright," Hermione breathed, looking at Ginny pointedly, "no, I have not actually seen him naked, and I don't think he's seen me naked either. We like to give each other at least a little privacy."

Ginny narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but finally accepted the response, shaking her head and moving on. "Okay, forget about that part, what about this crush you have on him? Has anything happened?"

Hermione couldn't help the blush that rose up in her cheeks and the way her eyes darted towards the ground.

"Merlin's balls!" Ginny nearly leapt out of the bed with excitement, "What happened? Did he kiss you? Did you kiss him?"

"Calm down, Ginny," Hermione chided mildly. The redhead sat back quickly, eager to hear the story. Hermione took a deep breath. "Well, I don't know how much you know about being a werewolf, but one of the side effects of the full moon is a heightened sex drive, decreased impulse control, and just a lot of general frustration."

Ginny's smirk grew broader. "So basically you were both extremely horny."

"No… well… yes, I guess so, but I don't like to call it that." Hermione sputtered, cringing. "Anyway, I guess I had just been developing this crush on him for a while and then before one of the full moons I just- well, I kissed him."

Ginny squealed. "A _Professor_, Hermione. Did he kiss back?"

Hermione was cringing again. "Yeah, sort of. But it was only a few seconds and then he realized what was going on and then he was upset about it and it got rather awkward."

"So have you talked about it? Has anything else happened?"

"We talked about it briefly," Hermione said, proceeding to explain their conversation the morning after their full moon. Ginny was pleased with Hermione's bravery and slight flirtation with Remus despite everything that had happened. To be honest, Hermione was quite proud of herself for that as well.

Hermione also explained how they had formed a bit of a routine of spending evenings in his quarters. Ginny was in disbelief at the fact that Hermione had literally been sneaking to her Professor's private rooms for weeks and hadn't tried anything. Hermione then told her friend about what had happened the previous night and the fact that she had slept on the same couch as him and Ginny was even angrier. "It wasn't like that," Hermione offered uselessly, "I was upset and he was probably upset too and if I had tried to kiss him again it would have just ruined everything."

Ginny nodded, "yeah, I suppose you're right. He's always been one to stick to the rules and feel really bad if he does something wrong. So what's the plan now?"

"That's where I'm lost," Hermione admitted, falling back in her chair. "It's hard to be around him and act normally, and I know that he'll push me away again if I try anything. Even _I_ feel wrong wanting to try something- I feel wrong _liking_ him so much."

"Don't," Ginny said shortly, "the way I see it, it's perfectly understandable for you to form this type of bond with him after everything the two of you have been through together. Besides, graduation is only a little over two weeks away!"

It was true; graduation was looming closer than ever, just like the N.E.W.T.s. Hermione decided then and there that she needed to focus on her studies. She had two weeks in which it was essential that she made sure to be prepared and to also prepare Harry and Ron for their exams. She could worry about Remus after the term was over.

The girls sat in silence for a few more moments. Hermione finally broke it, "are you mad that I didn't tell you earlier?"

Ginny shook her head. "We already established that; how could I be mad at you about something like this? If I'm mad about anything it's that I was the last person to learn about it, but that's my own fault for being unconscious."

Hermione chuckled despite herself. "It's not your fault for being unconscious. You know that it really probably is mine. I should have been there with you. Malfoy was looking for me, after all."

"Hermione," Ginny stopped her sharply, "don't go around blaming yourself. You know as well as anybody how useless blame is when you're not really the one at fault.

"You know," Hermione mused, studying the knitting of her jumper, "it's funny how much guilt I've had to deal with lately, both on my part and from other people. It's such a terrible emotion. I really hate it." Reality was setting back in, and Hermione felt a weight drift back down onto her shoulders. She craved Remus' soothing presence, half-formed memories of sleeping against him the previous night playing through her mind.

"Don't worry," Ginny murmured, sensing Hermione's change in mood, "we'll sort all of this out in the end. It'll be okay."

* * *

In the following days Hermione threw herself into studying for N.E.W.T.s, dragging Harry and Ron into her intense revising routine as well. The trio spent nearly every day after classes in the library. Hermione's research into the Wolfsbane and her time in Snape's lab was nearly forgotten entirely.

Despite being immensely stressed about the upcoming exams, Hermione was glad that things were happening the way they were. She couldn't say how happy she was to be back to her normal closeness with Harry and Ron. Ginny, also, was someone Hermione was thankful to have close again. Ginny allowed Hermione to talk more freely about Remus or the intricacies of the Lycanthropy than she ever could with the boys.

Another unquestionable perk was the fact that she no longer had to hide the changes that her lycanthropy caused. She was able to tell them when she was feeling tired or share with them how the full moon cycle was having an effect. It was all together much easier, making her question why she hadn't divulged her secret weeks ago.

The days leading up to N.E.W.T.s and the ending of the school year passed with several interesting changes around Hogwarts. In the days after the incident with Ginny many rumors had been started, some outrageous and some surprisingly close to the truth.

Students had seen Hermione's harried assault on Draco in the Great Hall and her nearly dragging him out into the corridor. Students had also noticed that Dumbledore, McGonagall, Remus, and Snape were all missing from dinner that same night, engaged in the impromptu Order meeting in the Hospital Wing. To add onto that, someone spotted Ginny in the hospital wing the following day.

These hints resulted in some truly outrageous rumors. One of the most surprising that Hermione heard whispers of was a bunch of Gryffindor sixth years who were convinced that Ginny had been cheating on Harry with Draco Malfoy and he'd been abusive and landed her in the Hospital Wing. Hermione made sure to dispel this rumor as soon as she heard it. Another rumor was rather close to the mark, students knowing of Draco Malfoy's suspected allegiances to the inner circle of Death Eaters and his long-standing rivalry with Harry Potter and his friends. Hermione tried her best to ignore these stories. She considered herself especially lucky that Evan, the Head Boy, was very respecting of her privacy and, despite being as curious as anyone, he didn't question her.

The rumors did persist about what had happened, though, and Draco Malfoy was suddenly the subject of a lot of speculation. It was about that time when he decided to become a complete recluse. Hermione didn't see him for meals for several days in a row, and never saw him in the corridors at all. Even during the classes that they had together, he would always slip in as late as possible and sit in the back of the room silently. It was almost as if he didn't exist.

That was until about a five days after the original incident, when he decided to come out of the shadows and approach Hermione.

She had been in the library alone, expecting Harry, Ron, and Ginny to be there soon for some N.E.W.T. prep. Ginny had taken a liking to accompanying them to the library since being released from the Hospital Wing because she wanted to spend time with Harry.

Hermione was studiously working at her usual table, scrawling away at the Ancient Runes essay when suddenly a pair of unfamiliar footsteps caught her attention.

She looked up to find Draco Malfoy approaching, his Slytherin Robes neatly arranged over his thin form and his hair combed impeccably. He was back to his usual standards despite the reclusiveness. Hermione eyed him warily as he approached, arriving at her table and stopping. "May I have a seat?" he asked, his voice just the picture of propriety and Pureblood manners.

Hermione nodded, watching as he sat down. Under the table she flicked her wand, putting up a subtle muffling and obscuring charm. Anyone who wasn't looking for them wouldn't notice them at all. It wouldn't do for the pair of them to be seen together in the library talking; that would only serve to create more rumors.

"You seem to be getting back to your old self," she observed, knowing that it was only half-true. He looked like his old self and he acted like his old self now, but other than that he'd been nothing more than a ghost.

"I may not leave my dormitory much as of these last few days, but when I do I must to keep up appearances." He spoke with the air of a Malfoy, almost nauseatingly like his father. For a moment Hermione thought it was real.

"Cut it out, Malfoy," she said suddenly, "I put up privacy wards. Why are you here?"

He looked around them, inspecting the foggy veil around their table that signified Hermione's spellwork. After seeing it, his posture drooped and his firm, arrogant expression faded away. He suddenly looked tired and human again. "I came to apologize," he said, his voice raw with the undertones of emotion, "I think it's about time that I do that, and Professor Snape feels the same way."

She narrowed her eyes, but didn't speak.

He spoke as if this was a meticulously planned speech, thought over and practiced to himself dozens of times. "Over these past few months I've come to realize that there have been a lot of things wrong with my life and the way I live. I was brainwashed from the beginning of my life. People like my father pushed these terrible ideas on me, just as I'm sure my father's father pushed these ideas on him. It's a cycle, I suppose, and I want to break it. I know that I've done some awful things to you and your friends, and I probably don't deserve forgiveness, so I'm not asking for it. I just wanted to apologize."

Hermione wondered if Snape had helped him put this little speech together. She eyed him for a long moment before nodding. "Thank-you, Draco."

He was taken aback. "Oh- um- you're welcome."

"I'm sorry as well," she said, meeting his gaze, "I shouldn't have been so rough with you, especially in front of everyone in the Great Hall."

He shook his head, "It's fine. If you suspected I was behind something like that- well, I understand why you acted the way you did."

Hermione smiled. This was going much better than anything she'd ever expected. Snape must have really put Draco in his place to get him to do this. She wanted to tell Draco how proud of him she was, but figured that was pushing it a little. She didn't know Draco very well, but she did know that he did not appreciate condescension at all.

He shifted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and stumbling over his words, "um, do you- do you know where I could find Weasley? Ginny, that is."

Hermione arched a brow at him.

"I just- I wanted to apologize to her as well, for my father and for everything, really."

Trying to restrain her triumphant grin, Hermione thought for a moment, looking towards the entrance to the Library. Sure enough, she spotted the slightly obscured forms of Harry, Ron, and Ginny entering the room. "If you want to apologize I think you'll have your chance right now," she said, smiling and picking up her wand hand to temporarily take down the wards so the others could find them. Draco followed her gaze and paled at the sight of all three of them. He definitely hadn't intended to face Harry and Ron in this as well, but Hermione hoped that he would take it all in stride.

"Hermione," Ginny smiled, spotting Draco and looking more than suspicious, "is everything alright?"

"Yes," Hermione replied politely, motioning to the empty seats at the table for the three of them to take. "Draco and I were just talking. I think he actually has something he'd like you to hear." She looked at Draco, giving him a covert nod.

Draco shifted from foot to foot, looking at Harry and Ron before zeroing in on Ginny. "I'd like to apologize," he began briskly, and Hermione could tell that it was a struggle to keep his voice as void of emotion as it was, "because of my father and also because of myself." He proceeded to give roughly the same speech that he'd given Hermione, with a few minor variations.

After Draco stopped Harry, Ron, and Ginny all stared at him in something akin to stunned silence. He looked to Hermione now, unsure of quite what to do next. Hermione was once again surprised by how much his attitude had changed that he was now seeking out her assistance where as before he'd never even wanted to consider asking her for help in anything. She really wondered what Snape had said to him. It had to be something big if it was going to allow him to swallow his pride and break down his arrogance. Hermione nodded to him, offering a half-smile to let him know that it was okay now, he could leave.

Draco turned around and made his way away from the table, exiting Hermione's wards in a way that caused a ripple in the hazy veil around their table. Once he was gone all eyes turned to Hermione.

"So are you going to explain what that was about?" Ron asked once he was fed up with the silence.

Hermione didn't try to restrain her smug smirk, "I told you that I thought I'd gotten through to him, didn't I?"

"What are you talking about?" Ginny spoke up, glancing at where Draco had just been in disbelief, "I swear that was one of the strangest things I've ever experienced…"

Hermione, realizing that she had neglected to explain Draco's part in all of this, explained everything to Ginny. Both of the boys sat there looking like they had terrible headaches and their whole world had been turned upside down. "Malfoy… _apologizing_?" Harry whispered in disbelief.

"He apologized because he's learned the error of his ways," Hermione said, crossing her arms, "and I think that if you all don't want my work with him to go to waste you should try to be at least a little nicer to him in the future."

"So _he's_ your latest project," Ron said, leaning back in his chair and eyeing her. "I was wondering what replaced Spew."

"S.P.E.W., Ronald," Hermione corrected.

"Okay, okay," Ron waved her off, "just- how do you know that this isn't all an act and he's only trying to manipulate us to trust him?"

"I don't know for sure, of course," she admitted, "but I have a really good feeling about it, Ron, and it's not like we're putting ourselves in danger simply by letting him apologize to us."

"I don't know," Harry murmured, "what if he just wants us to let our guard down?"

"Don't be ridiculous, we're not letting our guard down," Hermione snapped. "We're just being… nicer. But enough of that, we need to get down to business and start revising. You boys are far behind on your Transfiguration review."

With a few grumbled complaints, the boys pushed Draco Malfoy out of their minds and got down to studying. Hermione knew that it would be a topic of conversation later, and she would have to come up with more definitive proof of Draco's true allegiances, both for the boys and for herself.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm pretty sure some of my immense love of Ginny Weasley showed through in the writing of this chapter. That scene between Hermione and Ginny has been a long time coming, and it was always going to be an important one. Sorry that there's no Remus/Hermione interaction in this chapter, but I think you'll be pleased to know that there's _plenty_ of interaction in the next chapter… interaction that involves the two of them in a rather compromising position…


	13. The Quidditch Final

**XIII**

The Quidditch Final

* * *

The Quidditch final came quicker than anyone expected. Hermione found herself quite amused by the fact that the boys and Ginny had all dissolved into a state of terrible stress over the game. Their anxiety concerning Quidditch almost rivaled Hermione's anxiety concerning N.E.W.T.s, and that was saying something.

The Quidditch game was set to be Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff for the Quidditch Cup. Hermione was aware that she didn't know that much about Quidditch, but she was fairly confident going into the match that Gryffindor was going to win. The Gryffindor team, in all their anxiety, was much less confident.

On the day of the match Hermione was pleased to see that many extra security measures were being taken around Hogwarts. She'd been quite worried about the game being a possible opportunity for Lucius Malfoy, who was surely growing tremendously frustrated by now, to attack again. However, on the morning of the match several Order members were spotted around Hogwarts, there to ensure that everything went smoothly.

Hermione, knowing that she owed her friends some extra support after her absence, made her way down to the Pitch early in the day, watching them warm up from the stands while catching up with some friends that she hadn't seen in a while due to her rigorous study schedule. Practically the whole Gryffindor House had come down to the pitch early to cheer on the team. Hermione spent a lot of time talking with Neville about his Herbology work, resisting the urge to consult him about her Wolfsbane research. After this, she headed down towards the entrance to the pitch, where she spotted Remus approaching with a large black dog trailing behind him.

"Remus!" she hissed, pulling him away from the gathering crowd of spectators. "Seriously? He didn't even disillusion himself?" She glanced at Padfoot with disapproval. Harry had been talking for weeks about how excited he was for Sirius to attend the match. Hermione had, for some reason, assumed that he'd actually be taking further precautions than just changing into his Animagus form.

Sirius barked at her playfully, not appearing to care at all about the possible danger he was. Remus rubbed his temples, "I tried, he just- he doesn't listen sometimes." The pair of them watched as Sirius started trotting around, sniffing the ground and inspecting a group of giggling Hufflepuff girls as they entered the Pitch. Sure enough, all the girls stopped to pet the dog, probably thinking nothing out of the ordinary about the fact that a big, ominous beast had accompanied Professor Lupin to the Quidditch Pitch. "You know he loves this sort of thing," Remus murmured, standing beside her as they watched Padfoot play, "Dumbledore still doesn't let him go out all that much."

It was true. Hermione knew that Sirius' forced confinement was something he had been struggling with for a very long time. She turned to Remus. "Speaking of Dumbledore, have you spoken to him? Are you sure all of this is safe?" She gestured to the pitch and the crowd of people.

Remus exhaled, looking around. Hermione took a moment to admire the way he looked in the sunlight, healthy and recovered from the full moon. She chided herself a second later for getting distracted. "Look over there," he said; pointing to the far-off distance where a cloaked figure stood, "that's Tonks." He pointed to a point on the opposite end of the pitch, "Way over there- that's Mad Eye, I think." His eyes searched the horizon for several seconds more. "Kingsley, Fletcher, Doge, Jones, and a few others are here as well. Plus," he turned back to her, inclining his head down to meet her gaze, "you've got Snape, Dumbledore, and all the other Professors around here. It'll be fine, Hermione. Have some fun."

She smiled reluctantly, her eyes falling on Sirius once again. "I'll try," she murmured, crinkling her nose in distaste when he started kicking up dirt right in front of them, on a wild mission to dig up something buried deep underground.

Soon the student started buzzing with excitement and Hermione knew that the match was beginning. "I should go sit down," she said, glancing up at Remus.

He nodded, not quite meeting her eyes. She could tell that despite the conversation they'd just held, there was still some awkwardness between them and Remus surely felt uncomfortable after what had happened the other night. Sirius barked at her in some sort of goodbye as she backed away. She looked at the giant dog sternly then, trying to put on her best authoritative face. "No trouble making," she ordered. He barked at her again, excitedly kicking up more dirt from the ground. With one last pointed look at Remus, Hermione was off.

The match began quickly, and Hermione was surprised by how excited she got. Despite being worried about safety and checking the surroundings of the Pitch every once in a while, she became quite involved in the match. It was, after all, the last Quidditch match she would ever experience as a student at Hogwarts, along with what would probably be the last competitive match Harry and Ron would play.

The game started slowly. Hufflepuff had developed a new strategy, which required a lot of passing just to keep everything away from any of the Gryffindor players. It appeared to be very frustrating to the Gryffindor team at first, causing a few too many fouls and some irritated mistakes. As time wore on, however, the lions started to regain their balance. Gryffindor racked up points, and the Hufflepuff team grew tired. Ron was doing excellent Keeper work, blocking many points that could have given Hufflepuff an advantage. Late in the game, while Gryffindor had a fairly large lead, Harry caught the snitch, effectively ending the game.

The crowds dissolved into roaring cheers from the Gryffindors. A large portion of the Ravenclaw house was also in attendance, and most of them appreciated the victory, cheering happily with the rest of the crowd.

Hermione watched the skies and her surroundings closely as she made her way down to the base of the pitch, where a large crowd had gathered to congratulate the winning team. Harry and Ron were currently being vaulted around on the shoulders of their teammates. Hermione smiled at this, glad that they could have their time for glory, as it was their last game.

As she approached the crowd with Neville and Luna, Hermione also spotted a large black dog bolting out onto the pitch, tongue lolling out of its mouth as it traipsed toward the crowd. She mentally cursed Sirius for rushing into a crowd of students who could possibly recognize him or raise attention to the fact that this strange, grim-looking dog had shown up at the match. However, she knew that this was a very important time for Harry, and it was making him happier than almost everything else that Sirius was here to share it with him. She wouldn't spoil this for them as long as Sirius remained in the form of Padfoot and nothing unexpected happened.

"Hermione!" Ginny cried, rushing over and hugging her friend tightly.

"Congratulations!" Hermione grinned. She'd never appreciated Quidditch much in the beginning of her time at Hogwarts, but over the years she'd grown to enjoy it, mostly because it made her friends so happy. "It was a great match," she said, hugging Ginny back.

"They both did so well," Ginny said, looping her arm through Hermione's and turning to face the rest of the crowd. The redhead was obviously in a great mood not only because they'd won, but also because a reluctant Madam Pomfrey had agreed to let her play in the match after all.

Harry and Ron were now safely back on earth. Sirius had found Harry and was nipping at his ankles and barking excitedly. "It's going to be quite a night for the Gryffindor house," Ginny mused.

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. Every year the older students from the house that won the Quidditch Cup were known to throw a wild party in the common room. She had tried to ignore any talk she'd heard about the party over the past couple of days, but she'd garnered enough information to know that there was quite a bit in store.

Sure enough, the group of students out on the pitch soon began migrating back towards the school. Hermione barely had a moment to speak to Harry and Ron before Ginny dragged them off to the locker room to change. Hermione was left standing on the pitch, watching everyone make his or her way back up the path to Hogwarts. Padfoot soon joined her, whining and tilting his head up at her. She took it to mean that he wanted her to accompany him back outside the pitch. Hermione followed the large black dog slowly. Once they were just near the entrance of the pitch, Remus rushed over.

"_Sirius_!" he hissed, "you can't just run off like that into a crowd of students!" Hermione was amused at how similar he sounded to herself. "Hello, Hermione," he looked to her briefly before pulling Sirius away, back towards the castle.

Hermione waited at the pitch until Harry, Ron, and Ginny came back out of the locker room, not wanting to leave them alone after what had happened only about a week ago with Ginny. Together, the group made their way back up to the castle and then towards the Gryffindor tower, Harry, Ron, and Ginny raving the whole time about how much fun they were going to have tonight.

The Common Room was full of loud music and happy students. Ron quickly rushed off with Lavender, who was quite excited to enjoy the party with him. Hermione didn't know why, but the passing look that Lavender gave her made her irritated. Soon she was pulled into a very close crowd of students and being offered a shot of something that looked suspiciously like Firewhisky by a very inebriated Seamus Finnigan. Hermione politely refused the drink, watching as Ginny took it in her place, downing it in one quick gulp.

The party only served to make Hermione anxious the longer she was there. She didn't plan on staying long; only enough to let the boys know that she was happy for them and to make sure that it wasn't going to get too crazy. She _was_ Head Girl, after all. She didn't want to get the whole house in trouble only a few weeks before the winner of the House Cup would be decided. Besides, she had a sneaking suspicion that Harry and Ron had been the ones to bring some of the Firewhisky into the Common Room and that Sirius may or may not have played a part in getting the alcohol for the boys.

"You should have a drink Hermione!" Ginny said, interrupting Hermione's thoughts while she danced gracelessly with Harry. Harry just grinned and looked around the room and at Ginny as if he was more content than he'd ever been in his life, not even noticing the conversation between Ginny and Hermione.

"I'm Head Girl," Hermione said pointedly, looking at Ginny with raised eyebrows.

"Alright, alright," Ginny replied, "I only said it because you look uncomfortable."

Hermione talked to her friends for a while, socializing and trying to have at least a little fun. It didn't work very well, however, because most of the time the only thing she could think about was the fact that she didn't like being around so many people and how badly she wished she could be sitting in the peace and quiet of Remus' rooms right now. She could just imagine him at this very moment, reading a book in front of the fireplace, a cup of warm tea at his side and another one waiting for her.

After being in the party and mulling over these thoughts for what felt like an eternity, Hermione decided that she wasn't going to sit around in her own little bubble of discomfort anymore. With a bold spring in her step, she made her way over to Seamus, who'd somehow taken up the position of impromptu bartender. He wore his Gryffindor tie around his head in the silliest way possible, pouring drinks for everyone who passed by. Hermione momentarily wondered where all the younger students were and how he made sure not to give a drink to anyone too young. A part of her knew that she should be lecturing him and actually fulfilling her duties as Head Girl, but a larger part of her was sick of that role and wanted to do something rash.

"Granger!" He grinned suavely, "Fancy a drink?"

She didn't even respond, just took the shot of whisky he extended to her and downed it in one gulp. It burned going down her throat, and she had to resist the urge to cough. When the acrid taste was somewhat gone from her mouth, she found another shot just in front of her. She looked up at Seamus, seeing his broad grin, and heard a whooping shout of encouragement from Ginny across the room. She nodded once more, taking the shot and downing it.

Ginny pulled Hermione away from Seamus then, dragging her into the middle of the crowd where Harry, standing on top of one of the tables of the Common Room, was holding the Quidditch Cup in his arms. Hermione didn't know when he'd been given the cup or how exactly that had happened, but he'd somehow ended up with it in the Common Room. She thought that perhaps McGonagall had been very pleased with how everything had gone over and, knowing that there was bound to be a celebration, had told Harry to take it to the Common Room.

Harry hoisted the large silver trophy cup into the air, enticing a roaring cheer from all the students in the Common Room. After a fairly long moment of glory for Harry, he kissed the cup proudly and passed it along to Ron, who stood beside him. Ron hoisted the cup in the air in much the same way Harry had, kissing it on the side and passing it along to the nearest teammate, Ginny. Along it went, to each player on the team and then after all the players had their turn it went to the rest of the Gryffindors, everyone kissing it proudly and passing it along. While this routine continued, Ginny ran over to fetch two more shots, one for each of them. They drank.

Hermione found herself quite enjoying the ritual, beginning to cheer and holler with each person that received the cup. She knew the alcohol was affecting her when she allowed Ginny to pull her into a dance of happiness, falling into an affectionate hug with Harry and Ginny a moment later.

"I can't believe we'll be leaving Hogwarts soon," she mumbled, not knowing exactly to whom she was speaking.

"I know," Harry replied, a sloppy, intoxicated grin on his face. Something told Hermione that the Firewhisky had been a little more potent than anyone had anticipated, but she found that she didn't really care.

It wasn't much longer that Hermione stayed at the party. She didn't quite know why, but Remus had popped back into her head after spotting Ron and Lavender snogging in a corner, and without much time to ruminate over it, she was leaving the Common Room, slipping outside into the darkened corridor and setting herself at a brisk pace towards the DADA wing.

She didn't think about how rash she was acting or how she'd just drank a decent amount of Firewhisky. The only thing she thought about was how much she wanted to see him and how much she needed to tell him how she felt. Yes… she wanted to tell him how she felt. The only problem was that she didn't quite know how she felt or what exactly she was going to say to him.

She knocked on the door to his office without giving herself time to hesitate. It was a few seconds before she could hear footsteps approaching the other side of the door and it slipped open. His eyebrows lifted upon seeing her, and the door cracked open wider. He was surprised that she was here.

"Can I come in?" She spoke quickly, before he could get a word in.

Remus hesitated and for a moment she wondered if she'd made a mistake in her judgment and maybe Sirius was still inside his rooms… or maybe someone else was in there. For a moment of horror, she wondered if he had another woman over. But Remus made no indication that anyone else was present. He simply opened the door further, allowing her to enter. "Is everything alright?"

She nodded, stepping inside and waiting for him to close the door. Suddenly her mind was a very cluttered mess and she couldn't figure out how to put any appropriate words together. The idea to come to his rooms had seemed so good only a few moments ago, but now it was hard for her to get her thoughts straight and she was realizing that she hadn't been alone with him since that night they'd slept on the couch.

He was studying her with a perplexed expression, still standing just in front of the closed door. Hermione was only a few paces away from him, and his proximity inspired her to do something that she knew was either fantastically wonderful or terribly, _horribly_ awful. She would later learn that it didn't have to be just one of the two; it could be both wonderful and awful at the same time.

And it was.

With her heart beating in her ears, Hermione stepped forward. She was reminded briefly of the time during the last full moon when she'd done the same thing. The only difference was that the impending full moon, while probably playing a part in this course of action, was not the main motivator here. It was alcohol.

"Hermione-" Remus began, cut off when she moved in closer, her lips meeting his in a kiss that was simultaneously awkward and graceful. She'd be lying to herself if she said that she hadn't been thinking about doing this again for weeks. And here she was.

Remus was frozen in place, paralyzed for a few long seconds. Hermione took that time to shift herself closer to him, one hand coming up to brazenly tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck. He reacted then, his lips moving against hers for a split second with the same intensity that she was kissing him. Suddenly his hands were moving up from their limp positions at his sides, and he was pulling her closer to him than before, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her with a ferocity that she'd only ever dreamed of. His hands began to move, roving over her back and sides as if he desperately wanted to feel more of her. Hermione reveled in how powerful it made her feel. It was the second time that something like this had happened, but it felt _new_ and _better_.

She had no idea of how long they were like this, standing in the middle of his sitting room kissing with an intensity that she wouldn't fully realize until much later. After what felt like only an instant, however, he jerked back roughly.

Hermione let out a little cry of protest before she could hold it back. He staggered backwards in a way that she knew all too well. The memory of what had happened so many weeks ago flashed through her mind, and all the stupid similarities made her heart sink. She'd done it _again_.

"You've been drinking." He said it as if he'd only just tasted the Firewhisky on her tongue. He was breathing heavily, his shoulders heaving with the effort. Despite all the conflicting emotions in his eyes, there was one that dominated over all the rest. Hermione didn't think that anyone had ever looked at her with such lust. She stepped forward almost instinctively, needing to be touching him again.

He staggered back once more, putting up a hand to stop her. His expression was now one of broken will and desperate fear. "You need to go, Hermione. It's too close to the full moon," he rasped, taking another step backward, "for both of us."

She suddenly felt terrible and frightened. Not knowing where this onslaught of emotion came from, she wracked her brain for an answer. He was watching her carefully, and she felt like he was waiting for her to say something. "I-" she began, breaking off with a shaky breath, "I'm sorry. Ever since- since all of this happened I haven't really had anything or anyone except you and- I don't know. I'm sorry." She cursed herself for her fumbling words. When her vision began to get blurry she thought that it was just the alcohol, but then she realized that she was also crying. She cursed herself for that as well.

"How much have you had to drink?" he asked, his voice changing into something of sadness and concern.

She shook her head in an attempt to dismiss the question, wiping her eyes and training her gaze on the floor now. "Not that much," she finally murmured.

He was silent for a long time. Hermione eventually lifted her eyes from the ground and looked at him. He wore a heavily conflicted expression, watching at her as if he was confused and lost and angry and sad all at the same time. "This can't keep happening," he said, his voice filled with self-hatred as he whirled around and began to pace in a small circle, "you don't know what you're getting into, Hermione, and I will not be the teacher that _fucks_ a student." The way he said the word "fuck" was brutal and raw.

She couldn't help but shiver, bringing her arms to wrap around her torso and wishing that she had been wearing heavier clothes. "I'm sorry," she repeated, sifting through all the thoughts in her head for something that would be acceptable to say to him. "Everything has been so confusing and difficult lately," she choked out, "and you're the first person who has truly helped me through this and I've gone and ruined it all-" She broke off, realizing suddenly that this conversation would go nowhere good from here.

Remus seemed to be thinking the same thing. Not a moment later he was leading her gently toward the doorway, a more softened expression on his face. "It's too late at night, too close to the full moon," he repeated, reaching out a hand to grasp hers lightly. "You should go, Hermione."

He was opening the door, and she was feeling her heart sink even deeper than before. Despite being embarrassed and knowing that every moment she stayed here was another moment that would bring nothing good for either of them, she couldn't leave just yet. "Will I still see you tomorrow?" she asked shakily, "during the full moon?" A large part of her feared that he would say no, and it was almost terrifying to imagine facing the moon without him.

"Of course, Hermione," he replied, and his voice was soft and kind and made her want to melt.

There was another question lingering in her mind, but she knew that she couldn't ask. It still fogged up her thoughts as she wandered back to her dormitory and climbed into bed. In her dreams she was back there with him and she actually had the courage to say it. "_Wait for me," _she whispered, "_please_."

But before he could respond the dream faded away and it was morning and she had a headache.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Can you feel the angst? Some of you may be happy to hear that this is the last super angsty scene. Soon things start to get happier. After all, a drawn-out romance isn't complete without the eventual happiness! Next up: N.E.W.T.s.


	14. learning the last bright routes

**XIV**

learning the last bright routes

* * *

Remus watched with a tired sort of interest as the many students of Hogwarts made their way into the Great Hall. It was easy to see that most of the student population was terribly stressed, either about N.E.W.T.s, O.W.L.s, or their regular. The tables were not only covered in food this morning, but also books, parchment, and various other materials necessary for last minute studying. Exams started today after breakfast, and after that there were only a few days until the seventh years graduated and the school vacated.

Sitting at the staff table, Remus' eye was caught by a particular group of seventh years all the way across the room. Hermione Granger led the pack, appearing to be in the middle of an extended lecture about something. Harry and Ron tailed her on either side, listening avidly and trying to internalize the information. Remus watched Hermione as she took her usual seat at the Gryffindor table, responding to a question Harry had just posed by retrieving a large textbook from her book bag and showing him a passage in it.

She looked like she had recovered fairly well from the full moon two nights ago. Her demeanor was less tired, but more stressed. While it was unlucky for the full moon to fall so close to N.E.W.T.s, Remus was glad that she had all of yesterday to recover. He'd had some time to recover as well, and was feeling substantially better. There was still, however, an ache in his bones and a slight reoccurring headache that had been bothering him this morning. Other than that, the full moon was behind him. He considered himself fortunate since this month had been shaping up to have a potentially very bad full moon. Stress and a lack of sleep usually contributed to a rough night, and after what had happened with Hermione the evening of the Quidditch Final, he'd expected many of these things to bother both of them.

Still keeping an eye on Hermione and her friends, Remus briefly remembered what happened that very night.

He deeply regretted losing control with her, even if it was only for a few moments. During that time, however, two things had been made very clear to Remus. One: that he could no longer deny his attraction to Hermione granger, and two: that she was also quite attracted to him. He knew that this made for a very bad situation that they were in, especially since Remus feared Hermione's boldness and bravery. She would do things like kiss him late at night in his private quarters with the full moon only a couple days away because she was just that much of a Gryffindor.

_She's only your student for about a week more._

The traitorous voice whispering in Remus' mind made him want to rage with anger and shiver with a strange sort of anticipation. She was still his student. She was still eighteen years old. She was still James' son's best friend. She was still the girl he had infected with Lycanthropy.

Hermione was now talking nearly nonstop to Harry and Ron. The boys nodded their heads occasionally to convey that they were following, but Remus could tell that they'd been lost. Hermione continued explaining whatever it was, referencing the open book in front of her and making broad gestures with her hands in a way that was uniquely hers. Remus stamped down the fond smile that threatened to overtake his face. He needed to start acting more normal. It would be dire if someone found out about what was going on between them, whatever it was.

His eyes only strayed to Hermione about five times more over the course of breakfast.

* * *

"Hermione," Ron groaned, rubbing his eyes as if that would help him decipher the book in his lap, "can you please explain it again?" The large window behind him was dark, proving that the sun had set hours ago. It was late in the night, and the trio was still in the library.

The witch sighed, leaning over the table and pointing to the most important passage. "These two paragraphs are key, Ronald. If you're going to learn anything about psychological agents, it's that."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked, running a hand through his haphazardly mussed hair, "I still don't get the part about Grille's Law and I think I'm completely lost because of it."

Hermione sighed, pushing the enticing thoughts of her bed away for a moment as she tried to explain the various potion-making concepts to the boys. They'd survived three exams so far – four for Hermione – and Potions was right away tomorrow morning. Coming into N.E.W.T.s, Hermione had known that Potions would be one of the more challenging of exams for the boys, especially for Ron. They had been studying since five o'clock that afternoon; shortly the Defense Against the Dark arts exam had ended. It was half ten now.

"It's really quite simple as long as you understand that the law states that a psychologically effectual potion must have a catalyst, an active agent." Hermione finished, looking at both of the boys with an accomplished smile on her face. She was glad that at least some of her research and work on the Wolfsbane earlier this year was paying off now. She didn't think she'd ever felt more prepared for an exam.

Harry nodded slowly. Hermione could tell that he didn't completely understand it, but she figured that this was good enough. Ron seemed to be in the same state, and Hermione knew that they would be getting no more work done tonight with where his mind was wandering. "We should go down to the kitchens and get some food," he murmured, confirming her suspicions, "or call a house elf."

"Go down to the kitchens yourself. The house elves are already overworked as it is," Hermione said, beginning to pack up her books and place them in her bag. "I think that's quite enough for tonight. We'll always have breakfast tomorrow to go over the rest of this."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, stretching out and packing up his things as well.

"Are we going to the kitchens?" Ron asked, watching his friends forlornly.

Harry sighed, "I'll go with you, Ron."

The trio started to make their way out of the library, walking together on the same path. Hermione's dormitory was on the way to Harry and Ron's secret passage into the kitchens.

"Are your parents coming to graduation, Hermione?" Harry asked as they walked.

Hermione nodded slowly. "I owled them the other day. They said Dumbledore's already been in contact and arranged for and Order member to pick them up and bring them here." She watched the ground as she walked, thinking over what this meant. Graduation was only several days away. Hermione hadn't seen her parents since the Winter Holidays. She felt so disconnected from that time, like she'd been a completely different person back then. How could she face them now?

"You still haven't told them, huh?" Harry asked, giving her a sidelong glance. He was concerned. Ron did as well, watching her out of the corner of his eye, his pursuit of food temporarily forgotten.

She shook her head, glancing around to make sure that no one was within earshot. "I have to tell them soon, especially since I'll be living with them after graduation. I just…" she broke off, taking a shaky breath, "I honestly have no idea how they'll react."

Harry placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "If you'd like I could do it with you. I mean, I don't know if it would help but-"

"Thank you, Harry," she stopped him, "but I think it's something I'll have to do on my own. I can handle it, and I'm sure with time they'll understand the situation, but I fear their initial reaction."

She glanced over at Harry then, and found him staring straight ahead, smiling. She followed his gaze to see none other than Remus Lupin approaching, shuffling many stacks of paper under his arm and smiling at the trio. Despite his pleased expression, Hermione noticed that he was avoiding eye contact with her. It stung more than she cared to admit

"Hello, Remus," Harry smiled.

"Hello," he greeted the trio, "how did you think the exam went?"

Harry and Ron both started to describe what they thought the hardest parts of the Defense Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T. were and how they thought they did. After they had finished, Remus looked at Hermione.

"I thought it went well," she said, putting on her best fake smile.

"You three are out late," he folded his arms, looking around at the barren, darkened corridor, "studying for tomorrow's exam?"

They nodded.

"I let you get back to that, then," he smiled again. Hermione watched as he moved down the corridor, no longer trying to mask her troubled expression. Just as she turned back to continue walking with Ron and Harry she caught Harry's eye. He was looking at her curiously.

"What?" she asked, perhaps a little too shrilly.

"Nothing," he shook his head, and she could see the faint hint of a smile on his face.

Ron was too far gone to notice anything. The portrait of a bowl of fruit was in sight, the entrance to the kitchens. "Finally," he breathed, "I'm bloody starving."

* * *

Hermione barreled through the corridors of Hogwarts, down the stairs to the dungeons and into the Potions Classroom. She only stopped herself once she was halfway across the classroom, nearing the ajar door to Professor Snape's office. Slowing her footsteps and calming her rapid breathing, she knocked on the doorframe and peeked her head inside the office.

Professor Snape sat at his desk alone. There was no Draco Malfoy this time, luckily, and from the looks of it he was in a relatively mediocre mood. Though, to be fair, it was very difficult to tell what mood Professor Snape was in due to his propensity to keep the same straight, dour expression at all times. Nevertheless, Hermione assumed that he must be in a decent mood because N.E.W.T.s had officially ended ten minutes ago and so had all other exams. The term was essentially over and soon he would be rid of all the students he so despised.

"Professor?" Hermione intoned, still leaning into the doorway, not daring to invite herself in.

"Granger," he replied in a tone that was almost something close to pleasant. Hermione took that as her invitation inside. She entered. He looked up at her after a moment, narrowing his eyes and scowling. "What is it? Haven't your exams ended? Shouldn't you be participating in one of those blasted drunken parties the seventh years always host after their exams?"

She didn't falter despite his scathing tone. "I didn't want to celebrate. I was actually in the middle of my Ancient Runes exam when I thought of something having to do with my research. I think I'm onto something, sir." Most of the reason she didn't want to go to the party was because there would doubtlessly be alcohol there and she did _not_ want a repeat experience. But it was also true that she had thought of something important during her Ancient Runes exam — which had ended not ten minutes ago — and she'd been struck by the most urgent need to consult Professor Snape about it and see if there was some good in her hypothesis.

Snape quirked an eyebrow. "The term has ended. What makes you think that I'm willing to allow you to use my lab for this research project of yours anymore? Besides, have you not neglected your work over the past two weeks? I haven't seen you in here once."

"Yes, but that was because Ginny and N.E.W.T.s and-" Hermione broke off, taking a deep breath and focusing her thoughts. "I know that I only have a few days left at the castle, but I really think I'm onto something and I would very much appreciate just a simple consultation about it."

He considered her for a moment before speaking sharply and impatiently. "What is it?"

She inhaled deeply, preparing to explain her realization. "I was thinking that throughout all of my research and the work I've been doing I've only really been looking at the potions and ingredients." Her excitement over this began to leak through her fast-talking and shrill tone. "I realized that I never actually thought about it in a more physical sense. I never actually considered all of the experiments I can do because of the fact that as a werewolf, I have all of these resources and experiments at my fingertips."

Snape's expression remained blank, but she could tell that he was considering what she had to say.

She elaborated, "I was thinking… why have I been only studying the potion ingredients and hypothesizing their effects when I can actually get a more accurate estimation of their effects by using myself?"

He narrowed his eyes slightly, looking down at his desk and frowning. "I'm afraid, Miss Granger," he sighed, as if deeply disappointed in her, "that what you've just told me sounds like a terrible idea."

"No, no, no," she held her hands up, "you don't understand. Let me explain: Potions interact with the blood mainly, right?" She was starting to pace in front of Snape's desk, her excitement spurring her into movement. "Well I have plenty of blood to use, and I can study the reaction of various ingredients to my blood, plus I can cross reference it to the reactions of normal human blood! It's the perfect way to figure out why I've hit a wall with ingredients negating the effects of the Monkshood."

He shook his head slowly, as if processing this information was particularly strenuous. Finally, he spoke. "I need some time to think about this. It's a dangerous path to go down, experimenting on yourself, Miss Granger." She wanted to tell him that she didn't want to experiment on _herself_, just her own blood, but she kept her mouth shut. "Nevertheless, I will think about it and you may return tomorrow to see if anything comes of this."

She grinned broadly. Despite desperately wanting to get to work on this tonight, she knew that she had to cooperate with Snape and she was genuinely shocked by how supportive he'd been so far. "Of course, Professor."

He shooed her away before she could ask for any more favors. Hermione made her way to the Gryffindor Common Room in a significantly better mood. Things were looking up. She'd finished all of her N.E.W.T.s, which, in the end had gone much better than she'd anticipated, and now Snape was allowing her to move forward with her research on the Wolfsbane. Yes, things were good right now.

Hermione entered the Gryffindor Common Room to find much the same scene that she'd experienced only a short time ago after the Quidditch final. She quickly found Harry, Ron, and Ginny among the crowd, made sure to refuse any suspicious beverages she was offered, and genuinely had a good night with her friends, knowing that there wouldn't be many more of these evenings spent in the Gryffindor Common Room. It was something to cherish for now.

* * *

The day after N.E.W.T.s ended Hermione reported to Snape's office right after breakfast, bringing a few books she'd been looking at late the previous night and preparing to get a ton of work done. She was excited for it, her academic mind craving a new, more demanding project to take on. Snape was in a decent mood again, which she silently thanked the heavens for. He allowed her to come into his office and explain her theories in more depth, using the books she'd brought along and consulting him on various things in an attempt to design the experiment. He was rather supportive about it — well, he wasn't exceedingly supportive, but it was good enough above Snape's average level of enthusiasm to be considered supportive.

Soon Hermione was off collecting ingredients from her own stores, making trips down to the Greenhouses to negotiate a few ingredients from Professor Sprout, and asking Snape for the few things she couldn't find. He allowed her to take a few relatively inexpensive and not-so-rare ingredients from his stores, but stoutly refused any other requests. It was okay, though; she was satisfied with this.

Her experiments began late that afternoon, pushed over into the following day. Harry and Ron and Ginny were all having a blast hanging around Hogwarts with nothing to do, just waiting for Graduation. They'd begun asking Hermione why she'd suddenly started disappearing again. She tried to explain to them that she was working on a project as ambiguously as possible. They were still suspicious of whatever was going on, but Hermione knew that if there was one secret she wanted to keep, it was her research.

Remus was an almost constant, unwavering subject of focus in her mind over the next few days. She desperately wanted to talk to him about all this work she was doing. She knew that he would love to hear about her latest hypothesis and she craved his consultation, but she also knew that now wasn't the right time. With the state of things lately it was obviously best that she kept her distance, at least until graduation. After graduation she didn't know quite what her plan was, but the possibilities were endless and during most of her free time over the past few days she'd been daydreaming about what she was going to do after she graduated and how all of this between Remus and herself might just work out. It was a hopeless sort of far-fetched fantasy, but she could dream.

As Hermione became more focused on the practical parts of these studies, Snape began to spend more and more time hovering over her while she worked in his lab. She didn't know if this was because he was worried that she would mess something up or if he was genuinely interested in where this was going. Either way, she was glad to have him present and she knew that this was an important step in their growing camaraderie.

Hermione was working diligently, lining up the ingredients she was going to be working with, a cauldron at her side with a constant brew of the basics of the Wolfsbane. She would be putting in various ingredients alone with the base potion and testing the reaction with her blood. It all sounded a bit disturbing when she really thought about what she was doing, and this was one of the main reasons why she suspected Snape was hovering at his desk in the lab right now.

"What is that?" He asked sharply, watching as Hermione pulled a syringe and needle out of her bag.

"I need to draw my blood," she replied simply, casting a spell to clean the needle. She'd transfigured it yesterday after copious amounts of research in some Muggle medical books she'd acquired a few months ago.

Professor Snape shifted at his desk, and she could tell that he was trying to get a better look at what she was doing. She hid her smile at what seemed to be concern over her. Rolling up the sleeve of her jumper on her right arm, she cleaned her arm at the crook of her elbow, looking at the blue vein under her skin and remembering what the medical book had said about drawing blood. It had only explained how the process of drawing someone else's blood worked, not how to draw one's own. Hermione figured that they were relatively the same thing, and it would probably be easy enough.

She poised the needle right in front of her vein, but she couldn't get a good angle on it, and she knew that with such an awkward position she wouldn't be able to get a decent amount of blood out.

With a scraping sound of a chair being slid backwards, Snape got up from behind his desk, stalking over and extending his open hand to her. "Give it to me," he drawled flatly, "I'll do it."

She looked up at him brazenly. "I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself."

He shook his head. "Give it to me. I can see that you've never done this before."

"And you have, sir?" she lifted an eyebrow.

He nodded once.

Hermione let out a breath, surrendering the needle and extending her arm. Despite feeling a bit helpless, she was glad that he was offering to do it.

With precise, calculated movements, he poised the needle at her vein and pushed it in. Hermione winced at the pinching feeling, but remained still. She watched as he pulled back on the base of the syringe, drawing a deep red liquid into the hallowed out syringe. Once he was finished, he methodically pulled the needle out and placed it on the table, retreating back to his desk. Hermione wiped off the bit of blood on her arm from the exit of the needle and smiled down at the syringe. That had actually gone pretty well. She was almost tempted to ask another favor… one she had been thinking about often over today and yesterday while preparing her research.

"Sir?" She began, looking up at him hopefully.

He picked his head up from his work. Despite his slight glare Hermione knew that he wasn't truly angry with her. "Yes?"

"Do you remember how I said that I'd like to cross reference my blood with normal human blood?"

He nodded, expression blank.

Hermione was certain that he knew where this was going. "Well," she continued, "the only people who know about this are Remus and yourself. Well, actually, Remus doesn't know about this part yet. But the point is that of the three of us you're the only one with normal human blood."

"You want my blood," he concluded flatly.

She nodded. This was obviously a lot to ask of him, especially since he'd allowed her so much already, but she absolutely needed his blood. She didn't want to go around asking Harry or Ron for their blood and be forced to explain what all of this was. This was truly a bit of a risky gamble. Blood was a potential liability in nearly any form. If Snape's blood got into the wrong hands— well, a lot of bad things could happen. Hermione knew that if he were to say yes to this, it would legitimize the fact that he did have a lot of trust in her.

Professor Snape sighed irritably, but stood from his desk once again, approaching her workstation. She almost beamed with happiness. "Do you have another needle?" he asked. Hermione nodded quickly, retrieving the other she'd produced the previous night from her bag and disinfecting it quickly. "You'll have to do this one, Miss Granger," he murmured, pulling up his sleeve and exposing his arm, "I'm afraid I can't draw my own blood either."

She nodded again, looking at his arm and identifying the vein. She stared at it for a long moment.

"What is it?" he snapped.

"I just- I think it would be easier with a more prominent vein. Can we use your other arm?"

He hesitated for a moment, and she knew exactly why. At last, though, he rolled down the sleeve of his left arm and rolled up the sleeve of his right arm. Hermione tried not to start at the Dark Mark, which took up most of his forearm, but it was hard not to notice. It was very black in contrast with his pale skin. She instinctively felt a bubble of revulsion at the sight of it, but moved on quickly, not wanting to show any hesitation or disgust. This was a fragile moment. She didn't want Snape to recoil away from her because she was obviously so put off by his Dark Mark.

With the same calculated movements that Professor Snape had implemented only moments ago, Hermione poised the needle at his vein — which was more prominent on this arm — and plunged it in. He didn't flinch or emit any indication of pain or discomfort, so Hermione continued on, her hand shaking ever so slightly as she drew a syringe full of blood. After she was finished and had withdrawn the needle, Snape jerked down his sleeve and retreated to his desk once again.

She placed the syringes side by side; examining the blood as she marked which one was Snape's and which was hers. It was a very odd thing to look at and compare. The syringes could have been filled with identical blood from the same person. They both were of the same deep red hue, thick and opaque in the syringe. For some reason, despite knowing that it was highly unlikely, Hermione had expected her blood to look a little different from his. She'd thought that maybe hers would be darker, or a slightly different shade, or maybe a different consistency. But no, there wasn't a single visible difference between the two.

She stole a glance up at Snape again. He was working diligently on something, probably grading the exams of all of his non-O.W.L. or N.E.W.T. students. She looked at his left arm, now covered by his sleeve, and remembered the Dark Mark that lay hidden just under a few layers of clothing.

"Sir?" She knew she was risking getting kicked out of his lab by disturbing him again, but she felt the most pressing need to ask him something.

"What?" he quipped, eyes still focused on whatever was in front of him. He sounded irritated, but not immensely so. Hermione decided to press on.

"Do you think it will be safe for us once we leave Hogwarts?" She rolled the words over in her mind, trying to figure out how to phrase this. "I mean— I know that Dumbledore says it will be safe and that there are wards and protective measures over all of our houses and everything, but…" she paused, drawing in a deep breath, "with all that's been going on and all that's happened even within Hogwarts, how can it be safe for us to go home?"

He still didn't look at her. Instead he remained staring down at the parchment in front of him, but she could tell that he wasn't reading it. At last, he broke the silence. "Precautions will be taken," he informed her, "and if alternate plans need to be made, they will be." His sharp tone told her that he didn't want to hear any more questions on this subject. Hermione nodded, even though he wasn't looking at her, and resigned herself to continue with her work. She only had today and tomorrow to get all the information she needed to gather from the blood and the cross referencing with the potions, and she needed to take advantage of that time.

Neither Professor Snape nor Hermione spoke for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

**Author's Note:** The coming chapters are where it really starts to get fun. Part one is nearly over, and part two contains what I know a lot of you have been waiting for (*cough* M rating *cough*).


	15. Graduation

**XV**

Graduation

* * *

"MUM!"

Hermione nearly tackled her mother in her hug, feeling a great well of emotion bubble up in her chest. A few nearby students and their families watched amusedly as Hermione Granger embraced her mother. All the Seventh Year students had just arrived out on the lawn next to the Black Lake. This was where the outdoor graduation ceremony was taking place.

"Oh, Hermione," her mother sighed, returning the hug, "it's so good to see you." The older woman pulled back, examining her daughter closely, looking her up and down. "You look gorgeous, love," she said, tears in her eyes.

Hermione glanced down at the black Graduation Robes and the beige dress she wore beneath them. Her pointed hat was poised precariously on top of her hair, just like all of the other graduating seventh years. The only difference between her robes and the others was the Head Girl badge pinned on her chest. Underneath her hat her hair was charmed into more manageable, elegant curls. The wrangling of her hair was courtesy of Ginny, a master at cosmetic spells. She looked back up at her mother, the same swell of emotion rising up again. She felt like she could cry. A large part of her desperately wanted to pull her mother away from all the people and explain everything that had happened over the past several months.

But she couldn't do that, not now. In a few moments the students and their families would be told to take their separate seats and the ceremony would begin. There would be time to reveal her secrets when she finally returned home.

"Where's Dad?" she asked, looking over her mother's shoulder, searching the crowd.

"He went to talk to the Weasleys," her mum replied, pulling Hermione deeper into the crowd. The mother and daughter soon found a familiar sea of redheads, and Mr. Granger's greying chestnut curls among them.

"Hermione," he smiled broadly upon seeing her, pulling her into a tight hug and kissing the top of her head. "You look stunning, darling."

She smiled up at her dad, and then over at her mum. "I missed both of you so much."

Just then Mrs. Weasley spotted her, pulling Hermione into a squeezing hug. Hermione worried that the woman would let something dangerous slip, something alluding to her recent discovery about Hermione's lycanthropy. Luckily, however, Mrs. Weasley knew that Mr. and Mrs. Granger were still in the dark. She simply gave Hermione an affectionate smile and pulled away. Next, Hermione found herself moving onto several other Weasleys, greeting Arthur, Bill, Percy, Fred, George, and Ginny. Beside Ginny stood Sirius, and then Ron and Harry, who wore the same Graduation Robes as her along with almost identical anxiously excited expressions. Hermione, who was now in a fully over-affectionate mood, couldn't resist pulling both of them into a great hug.

"Isn't this crazy?" she murmured, leaning back and looking at the setup nearby. There were dozens of rows of chairs, all facing a beautiful view of the sparkling Black Lake. Between the chairs and the lake was a raised platform with a chair for each professor, just like in the Great Hall. At the front of the platform was a single podium.

"I can't believe we're done," said Harry.

"It's sort of sad," Ron mumbled wistfully.

Just then Ginny approached, kissing Harry on the cheek and grinning at Hermione and Ron. The redhead looked beautiful, as always, wearing a light blue dress that her mother had given her. "I don't know what I'll do without you three next year," she mused, looking at the chairs and the view of the lake with a saddened smile.

"You know we'll visit every Hogsmeade weekend," Harry said, putting his arm around Ginny and kissing her cheek.

"And maybe Hermione will come visit me whenever she goes to see Lupin," Ginny winked cheekily at Hermione.

"Why would I be visiting Remus?" Hermione replied, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh, I don't know," Ginny sighed, "I'm sure there will be reasons to visit…"

Hermione gave Ginny a sharp glare, frowning at Sirius, standing behind her, when he started to laugh. Harry and Ron looked between the three with confusion. Luckily, though, Dumbledore's voice, amplified by his wand, chose that moment to interrupt. "Please take your seats, we will commence momentarily."

A wave of excitement ran through Hermione. She was going to graduate in only a few moments. It felt strangely surreal. She quickly made her way back over to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who were currently talking to her own parents. Giving her mum and dad a hug, she said goodbye for now and followed Harry and Ron to take their seats.

The chairs in the back of the setup were the ones for the students. The students were to sit in alphabetical and walk up to the platform to get their diploma when their name was called. Hermione found herself sitting just a row in front of Harry, with Ron another row behind them. As the crowd begun to sit down, she took a moment to examine who was present in the family section.

She spotted several Order members among the crowd, most likely pretending to be parents and trying to blend in with the crowd. That, combined with the fact that Dumbledore and all the other teachers were present, made Hermione feel marginally safer. Almost instinctively, she scanned the crowd of parents for a head of silver-blonde hair that belonged to Lucius Malfoy. She didn't find anyone who looked like Malfoy, though to be honest, she didn't expect he would come here today. It was Draco's graduation ceremony, but Hermione had a sneaking suspicion that if Lucius Malfoy had even attempted to make an appearance here, he wouldn't have been able to because there were Aurors, Order members, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, and scores of other people that hated Malfoy almost as much as Voldemort himself. Yes, it would indeed be unwise for Lucius Malfoy to show himself here.

Looking further into the crowd, Hermione spotted two people, one holding a camera and the other holding an enchanted quill and notepad, most likely from theProphet. She grimaced. Hermione had always hated the reporters from the Prophet. This mostly stemmed from her acquaintance with Rita Skeeter, but she suspected that Skeeter wasn't the only rotten one of the bunch.

The professors had somehow materialized as the crowd flocked to their seats. Hermione watched as they took their seats on the raised platform in the same order as they sat in the Great Hall every day. She noticed Remus first, sitting between Professor Snape and Hagrid, looking happy and healthy. Her heart beat just a little faster when she looked at him.

Beside Remus, Professor Snape wore the usual scowl as he panned the crowd. Hermione wondered if he would yell at her if she tried to hug him when she got her diploma. The students were supposed to go down the line and shake hands with all of the professors when it was their turn, but some students hugged teachers they were especially close to. Hermione thought it would be hilarious to see Snape's reaction if she tried to hug him, but she figured that it probably wouldn't be the wisest choice, especially if she wanted any hope of being able to ask for his help on her research after today.

Beside Snape was Professor McGonagall, looking proud and tearful as she gazed down at the crowd. Next to McGonagall was Dumbledore, standing up at the podium and waiting for everyone to take their seats. When the crowd finally quieted, Dumbledore raised his arms to begin the ceremony. "First of all I would like to welcome all of the family members who have come here today to celebrate this occasion with our graduating seventh years. I'm sure our students will agree with me when I say that an occasion like this is much better when shared with loved ones.

"These students have lived here at Hogwarts for seven years now, and while I know that difficult times may lie ahead, and moving on from Hogwarts may be a daunting task, I also know that myself and all the Professors behind me have the utmost faith in these young witches and wizards. So before we begin I would like to say that, on behalf of myself and all the Hogwarts staff members, we wish you all the best of luck. Now, without further ado, Professor Minerva McGonagall, our Deputy Headmistress, will begin the ceremony."

McGonagall stood from her seat, taking Dumbledore's place at the podium while the Headmaster moved away to the end of the line of Professors. With a loud _pop_, a scroll appeared floating above the podium, presumably containing the names of all the students.

"Hannah Abbott," McGonagall said. Hannah Abbott, at the front of the group, stood nervously and made her way to the platform. Hannah went along the row, shaking all the hands of the professors as she went. When she arrived at Dumbledore at the end of the line, a scroll of parchment with a golden tie appeared in his hand – her diploma – and he handed it to her. After she was finished, she stepped off the platform and made her way back to her seat.

Several other students were called and went through the procession in the same manner. For most of Muggle-borns a loud cheer could be heard from their family in the audience when their name was called. Hermione found this quite sweet, though she knew it would be embarrassing if her mum or dad yelled like that.

The ceremony continued, many students going up, hugging or shaking hands with their professors. Eventually Harry went, making his way up to the podium and grinning bashfully at the loud cheering coming from Sirius, Ginny, and the twins. He hugged McGonagall, shook the rest of the professor's hands, and then stepped down. As he descended, Hermione heard the distinct flash of cameras. A glance at the two reporters from the Prophet confirmed her suspicions. So it seemed that Harry Potter's graduation would make the papers tomorrow.

The ceremony continued, all the names being called and all the students taking their turns. Prefects were skipped over, along with Head Boy and Head Girl. That would be at the end. While Hermione didn't need any special recognition for being Head Girl – especially after feeling so guilty about all the partying and inebriation she'd allowed among the Gryffindors lately – she appreciated it deep down.

"Now, for the Prefects," McGonagall chimed, calling off all the Prefects one-by-one. When Ron stood, his Prefect badge pinned proudly on his robes, most of the Weasleys went wild. Hermione couldn't help but grin at Ron's happy expression as he got his diploma.

"Finally," McGonagall spoke again, "our Head Boy, Evan Barlow."

A loud cheer erupted from most of the Ravenclaws, and Evan stood, making his way to the podium with a shy smile. When he sat back down Hermione felt the attention shift to her.

"And our Head Girl," McGonagall smiled widely, "Hermione Granger."

Several cheers were heard from the Gryffindors, but the thing that made Hermione blush with embarrassment was the loud whooping coming from Ginny, Fred, and George. Nevertheless, she tamed her embarrassment and stood from her seat, walking up through the crowd of parents and approaching the platform. Behind her, she could hear the snapping of a camera, and she knew that one of the journalists from the Prophet was taking a photo of her. She tried to ignore it and started shaking hands with the professors. First was Flitwick, then Sinistra. Next was Hagrid, who looked almost teary eyed while he pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. Hermione had to take a deep breath after this, moving onto Remus.

Coming into today, she hadn't known what to expect from this interaction with Remus, but she'd guessed that a hug would not be the wisest choice for either of them. She'd also anticipated that this might be just a little awkward. Surprisingly, it wasn't awkward at all. Remus reached out and shook her hand, giving her an endearing half-smile. "Congratulations, Hermione," he whispered, just loud enough so that the pair of them could hear it with their amplified senses. Hermione smiled in return, not trusting her voice enough to whisper her thanks back.

Up next was Snape, who shook Hermione's hand in much the same way he'd done with all the other students. The only difference was the slight, tight-lipped nod he gave her. She felt a flutter of pride at the fact that he'd acknowledged her that much, even if it was barely noticeable.

The Head Girl continued down the line, earning a proud hug from McGonagall and her diploma from Dumbledore. When she turned around the distinct noise of cameras flashing and snapping photos was heard once more. She shifted from toe to toe, anxiously hoping that all her scars were hidden safely under her robes.

As she stepped off the platform and walked back through the crowd she made eye contact with her mum and dad, both were grinning from ear to ear. Her mum was crying. She sat down in her seat. At last, the ceremony ended. Dumbledore stood and told the crowd that there would be food and drinks back in the Great Hall so that students could introduce their parents to professors or classmates and say goodbye. The students were leaving on the Express tomorrow, so there would still be plenty of time to say goodbye to classmates, but this was indeed the last time they would all be together with their professors and without any younger students.

Hermione found her parents and ushered them over to the large group of Weasleys, earning many hugs and congratulations along with Harry and Ron. Together, the Grangers, the Weasleys, Harry, and Sirius made their way up to the castle and into the Great Hall. Hermione's parents were awed by nearly everything. Her father in particular couldn't get enough of the floating candles on the ceiling of the Great Hall. She was fairly certain that he stared at them for at least fifteen minutes before socializing with anyone.

"So," Hermione's mother began, looking at Hermione and then at the crowd around them, "are you going to introduce us to your teachers?"

Hermione sighed, looking over at Harry and Ginny, whom she'd just been speaking with. She'd wanted to spend a lot of time with Harry tonight because she knew that it was hard for him to be around so many classmates and their parents when he only really had Sirius — the Dursleys didn't come, of course — but she supposed she had to separate from him at some point. Both Harry and Ginny waved her off to go with her parents, so Hermione turned away and ushered her parents to the nearest Professor.

Hermione introduced or re-introduced her parents to Flitwick, McGonagall, Sinistra, Vector, and Hagrid before she decided that that was quite enough Professors.

"I think that's enough for now, right?" Hermione asked, pulling her parents away from Hagrid, who was very close to spilling some secrets about the things Hermione, Harry, and Ron had gotten up to over the years. Her parents would truly be horrified to learn some of the details of what had happened over the years. Hermione had always glossed over a few things to spare them the worry…

"What about that Defense Professor?" her mum asked, panning the crowd in pursuit of Remus. "You know, that one you were so excited to have back again this year? Oh and what about the Potions Professor? I want to see how mean this man truly is."

"Um," Hermione looked around the room, "perhaps just Professor Lupin for now. I don't know if you want to meet Snape just yet." Despite her higher standing in Snape's graces as of late, she worried about her parents ruining it for her, plus he appeared to be surrounded by a group of Slytherin parents at the moment.

"Lupin," Hermione's father hummed in consideration, "that's a funny name, isn't it?"

"Yes, very funny," Hermione mumbled, pulling her parents through the crowd, "but don't mention it to him." Her parents definitely did not know that Remus was a werewolf, and she didn't want to start _that_ conversation any time soon. Especially not at graduation.

Remus was standing in a small circle, Sirius by his side, then Harry, then Ron, then Ginny, and finally the twins.

Just as Hermione approached with her parents she spotted Fred elbow George to get his attention. Together, they both stepped towards Hermione, stopping her and bowing simultaneously.

"The esteemed Head Girl is in our presence, George," Fred said regally.

George turned to the rest of the people around them raising his arms. "Announcing Hermione Granger, Head Girl and also the witch who is rumored to be the only reason our younger brother may have passed his N.E.W.T.s." Sirius barked out a laugh. Harry and Ginny both grinned. Ron did not look very pleased at all with the comment. Remus, across the circle, looked at her with a wry smile, something else that looked like anxiety hidden beneath his expression.

"Enough of that," Hermione retorted pointedly. She quickly pulled her parents beside her, moving closer to Remus. "Mum, Dad, this is Professor Remus Lupin. Professor Lupin, these are my parents, Nancy and William Granger."

It was so odd calling him Professor to his face after so many months of just Remus.

Remus shook both of their hands; muttering a polite, "pleasure." She could see that he felt immensely uncomfortable, but he hid it well.

Hermione smiled tightly as she went around the circle with introductions, "you know Harry and Ron of course. Ginny, Fred, and George I think you saw earlier, and this is Sirius Black, Harry's Godfather." She hoped that her parents remembered everything that she'd told them about Sirius and that it was very important for them to know that he was not actually the mass murderer the news had made him out to be several years ago.

Sirius shook both Mr. and Mrs. Granger's hands with a broad smile. If her parents did have a mixed reaction to him, Sirius didn't seem to care at all. He was in a brilliantly cheerful mood, presumably because Harry was no longer going to be separated from him for such long periods of time and the fact that Dumbledore had allowed him to attend tonight as himself and not Padfoot (which was a risky decision in Hermione's opinion, but she didn't want to spoil the night for either of them by complaining).

Soon both of Hermione's parents decided that they wanted to speak to the Weasleys more and give Hermione the opportunity to spend some time with her friends. She watched Remus' expression as they left, noting his slight discomfort when they said goodbye to Sirius and himself. Despite feeling bad that he was uncomfortable, it couldn't bring her mood down. She found that she was elated with everything right now. She was happy to be around her friends and family, happy to have the accomplishment of N.E.W.T.s and graduation under her belt, and happy to look to life in the coming days, even if a few things were still up in the air and she did have her worries.

She moved to stand between Harry and Ron, slinging an arm around each of their shoulders and grinning at them. They chatted about how they thought the graduation ceremony was, and what all their plans were in the coming weeks. Harry and Ron weren't completely sure of what they were going to do, but she suspected that they would both want to go into Auror training right away if their N.E.W.T. scores turned out well.

As for Hermione, she truly didn't know where she wanted to go from here. For a short period of time recently she'd seriously considered going to a Muggle University simply to further her general education. That idea had been eliminated when she realized that she wanted an education in the magical world more than anything. If she wanted to learn Muggle subjects, it was easy enough to teach herself. Another idea that she'd considered was taking up an offer to intern at the Ministry of Magic starting immediately after school ended. She'd also seriously considered this, knowing that it was a very important pathway and the Ministry was highly selective in the students they picked up straight out of Hogwarts. In the end Hermione had decided against it, not wanting to go immediately into the heavily political environment that the Ministry had been lately and also desiring some time to think through her choices and hopefully see an end to this war.

The more she thought about it, the more she actually started to realize how much gravity the war and Voldemort had in her life. She couldn't realistically think of making any choices in the near future that would take her away from Harry or the Order. In fact, the only things she was absolutely certain of were the fact that she wanted to join the Order of the Phoenix and that she wanted to see this war through to the end, hopefully coming out alive.

The conversation followed this path. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all seemed to agree that they wanted to join the Order of the Phoenix as soon as possible. Remus and Sirius were both wary of this, but they had no real argument for the trio not to, especially when Harry mentioned that the Marauders and his mother had joined the Order straight out of Hogwarts. Harry couldn't live with himself if he didn't try to push forward and become more active in the effort of the Order. It was essentially set in stone for him.

Lavender Brown, pushing her way into the circle and grabbing Ron by the arm, interrupted the deep conversation. She pulled Ron away from Hermione's side with a suspicious expression, informing her boyfriend that he had to come meet her parents now, not leaving any room for protest. Hermione didn't miss Ron's grimace, nor did anyone else in the group.

As Hermione watched Ron and Lavender walk away, she spotted another familiar face among the crowd in the Great Hall. It was Evan and he was walking in her direction. Like Hermione, he still wore the badge pinned on the front of his robes indicating his Head Boy status. She figured that he had gained a similar attachment to it over the year. She didn't want to part with it until tonight was over, knowing that this was the last time she would actually be able to wear it.

"Professor Lupin?" Evan called, looking through the rest of the group awkwardly. Sirius had been speaking quietly to Remus, but he backed away to Harry, Hermione, and Ginny at the sight of the approaching student.

Remus spoke to Evan for a little while. Hermione tried not to eavesdrop on their conversation, but it was hard to avoid catching what they were discussing with her increased hearing and a strange attunement to Remus' voice that she seemed to have developed.

Evan thanked Remus for all the help he'd been over the year. Hermione never thought that they were very close, but Remus obviously liked and respected Evan very much, wishing him the best of luck at his internship at the Ministry. Hermione had known that Evan was offered the same internship as her, but she, essentially his roommate, had no idea he'd accepted it.

Evan thanked Remus once more before turning to the rest of the group and making eye contact with Hermione. She smiled, silently telling him to approach. "It's been a great year," he said.

Hermione gave him a friendly hug, endeared by his awkward sentimentality. Evan left soon after this, going back to his family and a group of Ravenclaws across the hall. Hermione fell back into conversation with the others.

It was much later when she finally noticed Draco Malfoy. She realized upon seeing him that she hadn't paid any attention to him at Graduation at all. He looked lonely; that was the only word Hermione could find to describe it. He stood alone, sipping a glass of what looked like pumpkin juice and gazing at crowd around him. A group of Slytherin students were nearby, but he didn't interact with any of them. He looked quite out of the ordinary compared to them; lacking the same prideful and broad demeanor they all wore. Hermione remembered that not only had she not seen his father at graduation, but she also hadn't spotted his mother. She didn't know much about his mother, but she couldn't imagine that Mrs. Malfoy was half as bad as her husband.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione strode towards Draco, muttering a quick "I'll be right back," to the others. Their eyes followed her as she approached Draco, but she didn't look back.

He picked his head up when she was only a few feet away, an expression of surprised suspicion crossing his face.

"Neither of your parents are here," she said, moving to stand next to him and watch the passing crowd just as he did. It was only now that she noticed how many parents and their children _were_ here, and how alone people like Draco, Neville, and Harry must have felt.

"The possibility of my father attending was out of the question," he said, his shoulders set stiffly, "as I'm sure you understand."

She nodded once. "And your mother?"

Draco seemed to sense the hidden questions behind Hermione's innocuous question. She was trying to gauge where his mother stood in all of this. "My mother left my father a short time ago. She too found out some details of what he has been up to lately." His meaningful glance in Hermione's direction told her exactly what those details were. "While she would be the person I would like to have at an event such as my graduation, Professor Snape strongly advised her against coming tonight."

Hermione gave a solemn nod of understanding, her eyes finding Ron and Lavender across the hall. Ron was talking to a man who appeared to be Lavender's father, looking intimidated and skittish. "What do you think you'll do now?" She asked, turning to Draco once again. When she looked his way she noted that Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass were standing just behind Draco, openly glaring at Hermione.

"I'm not sure," he admitted, his tone clipped. "My mother and I will need to go somewhere quiet for a while, but I don't know where.

She nodded thoughtfully. "I'm sure you'll figure something out."

"Of course," he sighed, pausing before speaking again. "Not that I don't appreciate your company in all my pitiful solitude, Granger, but it seems that your friends want you back."

She followed his line of vision to Harry, Ginny, Fred, George, Remus, and Sirius, who were all trying to hide the fact that they were watching Hermione like a hawk. She huffed out a laugh. "Typical. I'll head back there."

Just as she was leaving Draco, however, she turned back around, stopping in her tracks looking at him with a tight expression. "I know you'll probably hate me for saying this, but I'm really proud of what you've done and the choices you've made over these past couple months."

He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms and adopting his usual pureblood stature. "Hmm," he sighed, pursing his lips, "maybe just a little too patronizing for my taste, Granger."

She couldn't resist smiling as she raised her hands up in mock surrender, turning around and retreating. Just before she was out of earshot she heard something that made her grin even wider. "Thank you," said Draco.

Arriving back with her fellow Gryffindors on the opposite end of the Great Hall, Hermione failed to do away with her happy smile. Her mistake there was something that no one failed to notice.

"So how's it going with Draco?" Ginny asked in a faux-conversational tone, smirking with amusement.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I was just talking to him." Just as she finished saying this, her mother walked over to the group.

"Who was that handsome boy you were speaking with?" she asked with mirthful intrigue, looking back at Draco.

Hermione blushed crimson red. "Mum!" she gasped, scandalized, "he's not- it's not like that at all." As she said this she couldn't resist nervously glancing across the circle at Remus. He watched her closely, with an unnerving sort of intensity.

It wasn't long after this that the Great Hall started to die down a little. People began to leave, the noises of conversation and laughter abating, along with the general feeling of excitement. The Leaving Feast would start in a short while, and then it would no longer be just the Seventh Years celebrating together. As parents started to leave, Hermione found herself and her parents approached by Tonks.

"Wotcher, Hermione," Tonks grinned, giving the girl a hug before shaking the hands of her mum and dad. Tonks had met Mr. and Mrs. Granger before, presumably earlier this afternoon when she'd brought them to Hogwarts from their home. "Are we almost ready to go?" she asked, looking from Hermione to her parents.

Hermione nodded. Most of the Great Hall was empty now. She turned to her mum first, hugging her briefly. After this she turned to her dad, doing the same and receiving one of the same proud smiles she'd been seeing all afternoon. "I'll see you both at King's Cross tomorrow," she breathed, pulling back.

"Looking forward to it," her father grinned. He then turned to Tonks, asking her to lead the way out of the school. Hermione walked with them out to the entrance of the castle, saying goodbye once more and watching as Tonks lead them away into the darkness of the afternoon. She stood there for a short while afterwards, watching the land around her with a strange sense of nostalgia. She must have been there for much longer than she thought, because eventually Harry and Ron came outside, standing beside her, looking out at the Black Lake and down at Hagrid's hut and at the tall darkness of the Forbidden Forest.

"I'm going to miss it," she admitted.

"We'll come back, I'm sure," Harry said softly.

She nodded, taking a deep breath. The sun was beginning to set. The Leaving Feast would start very soon. As if attuned to Hermione's thoughts, Ron's stomach made a loud grumbling noise. For a moment she thought that only she'd heard it due to her enhanced hearing, but Harry picked up on it as well. He broke out into a fit of laughter, which Hermione joined in on.

"What?" Ron mumbled defensively, "I'm hungry."

"Of course you are, Ron," Harry breathed between laughs, "let's go inside."

* * *

The Leaving Feast was as extravagant and emotional as always. Hermione had always wondered what it was like for Seventh Years, knowing that they wouldn't be coming back to school next fall, but now she understood. It was equal parts exciting, saddening, and frightening.

After the feast Harry tried to convince Hermione to go back to the Common Room with the others, but she just wanted to be alone. She ended up taking a long route around the school to get to her dormitory, taking her time and strolling through the corridors at her own pace. At one point during this walk she neared the Defense Against the Dark Arts corridor, containing Remus' office and quarters. She thought about going to see him, but pushed the idea away quickly. She didn't want to keep pestering him. Plus, she was fairly certain that Sirius was still in the castle and probably with Remus in his rooms. No, she couldn't go there tonight.

She continued walking, surprised at the emptiness of the corridors. But then again, most students wanted to spend time with their housemates in their Common Rooms on a night like this.

Nearing the dungeons of the castle, Hermione was startled by the reverberating echo of a door slamming, followed shortly by brisk footsteps. She stopped, recognizing the noise as coming from down a staircase to her right. The staircase led to the Potions classroom. As she stood there Snape emerged from the shadows, climbing the stairs quickly. She could immediately tell that something was wrong. His expression was one of worry, an emotion so rarely conveyed by the closed off man. In addition to the unnerving look on his face, he was clutching his left forearm tightly.

"Professor?" Hermione began, standing still in the middle of the corridor, watching.

He almost looked started to see her there, but quickly mastered himself, righting the collar of his robes. It was now that she noted that his robes were not the usual attire. They were actually very different. She belatedly realized that they must have been Death Eater robes. He probably had his mask on him somewhere as well. "Oh," she breathed, the full realization hitting her.

He started walking again, passing her with the same brisk pace. "Is everything okay, sir?" she asked, turning and jogging to catch up with him, "do you want me to tell someone? I can get Professor Dumbledore-"

He didn't look at her. "The Headmaster is aware of my departure. You need not be involved in this, Miss Granger. In fact, I suggest you return to your dormitory before you find yourself somewhere else where you do not belong." His words were sharp and his tone curt.

She stopped in her tracks, watching Snape as he continued onwards, soon disappearing into the darkened corridor. She stood there for a moment, shivering for no apparent reason other than the memory of Snape's worried expression before he'd spotted her. Something was wrong.

She considered going to tell Harry and Ron about the encounter, but it was late and they didn't need to worry about this now, not while they were celebrating and enjoying their last night. She figured that if Dumbledore already knew then it would be dealt with. If there really was something wrong, Hermione, Harry, Ron, and anyone else would be informed soon.

Sighing deeply, Hermione continued back to her Dormitory, soon finding herself with only Crookshanks to keep her company. She drifted off to sleep, her mind full of worries about Snape and what would happen in the morning. Something, deep in the hazy subconscious of her mind, told her that she wouldn't be taking the Hogwarts Express home tomorrow.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So this chapter was really hard for me to finish. It was a big one – over 6,000 words! – and I changed about half of it last-minute, which took a _lot_ of editing. Plus, I procrastinated because life really caught up with me this week.

Anyway, there's now only one more chapter left of part one! I know I said to a few of you that something big was going to happen at Graduation, but what I really mean is that something happens right _after_ graduation– when Snape gets back. Does anyone have any guesses about why Snape was called away? Also, do you guys think we can get to 200 reviews with this chapter? It would make me the happiest girl in the world.


	16. Nomads

**XVI**

Nomads

* * *

The following morning came with an ominous sort of quiet; sunlight rolling over the forest, the lake, and finally the castle. Hermione woke up before dawn, watching light fill the grounds through the window in her dormitory and thinking deeply about what would come next. They were to leave Hogwarts today. Taking the Express home was something Hermione both dreaded and desired. She dreaded it because it made her feel terribly vulnerable to be away from Hogwarts but still within what she considered to be the world of magic. She also felt a longing for one final train ride home because of the simple fact that it felt like an end. It was a good, proper end to her time at Hogwarts. One final train ride home, then it was over.

Little did Hermione know that she would not be taking the Hogwarts Express home today. She wouldn't even be going home at all.

Sitting in her dormitory, Hermione found that her thoughts couldn't quite stray from remembering her encounter with Professor Snape last night. It wasn't long after dawn broke that she was shrugging on her clothes and rushing off to the Gryffindor Common room, intent on finding Harry, Ron, and Ginny to explain what she'd seen.

She did so, waiting until it seemed like somewhat of a reasonable time and first fetching a sleeping Ginny from her dorm, then finding both Harry and Ron in their own dorm. Together, Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and a very grumpy Ron proceeded out of the Gryffindor tower and towards the nearest empty classroom. Hermione explained everything she'd seen last night with Snape.

"I'm really worried," she muttered, pacing back and forth between the aisles of desks in the classroom. Harry, Ron, and Ginny all sat atop the desks, watching her pensively. "I just-" she paused, "I feel like something must be wrong. Snape looked frightened, and you all know as well as I do that Snape has never ever betrayed even an ounce of fear or weakness if he could help it."

"But he said that Dumbledore was aware, right?" Harry chimed in. "If Dumbledore knows about this then I'm sure he can handle it."

"D'you reckon Voldemort might be angry at Malfoy?" Ron asked, staring off at the ground pensively.

"Merlin," Ginny gasped. "What if he is? Maybe he's only just found out about how Malfoy failed to kill me, and months before he failed to kill Hermione. Maybe he's going to take matters into his own hands."

Harry had grown pale and still. Hermione decided that even if what they were speaking about was true, it wasn't the time to have a hypothetical conversation like this. "I think we should just go to breakfast and see what happens from there." As she said this she pulled her wand from her robes and cast a _Tempus_ charm. Breakfast began in ten minutes.

Harry didn't say anything, but nodded once, following Hermione, Ginny, and Ron as they led the way towards the Great Hall.

The Great Hall was abuzz with excited chatter and the clatter of food and drink. The group of Gryffindors slid into their usual spots at the Gryffindor table, all eyes drifting towards the Head Table every few moments. Dumbledore sat in his usual spot, not looking at all out of the ordinary. Down the table, Snape's seat was empty. Hermione could only assume that the Potions Master was still away from the castle. She supposed that it was possible that he had simply returned late last night and decided not to attend breakfast, but something within her was certain that he would at least make an appearance and appease any curious students, especially Hermione.

Her eyes fell on Remus next. He chatted idly with Hagrid, eating his breakfast and gazing out at the students that filled the tables with something akin to nostalgia. She wondered if he didn't plan to come back and teach next year. She wondered if he felt the same strange sense of discomfort that she experienced when even considering if there _would_ be a next year that any of them would be alive to see.

Hermione snuck many more glances at Remus as breakfast progressed. In fact, the only thing that actually tore her concentration from Remus was a flurry of movement and the entrance of Professor Snape.

The dour Potions Master entered the Great Hall in the same manner he did on every other morning. His expression betrayed nothing. The thing that did cause Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny to worry was the fact that he did not take his usual seat between McGonagall and Remus. Instead, Snape approached Dumbledore, leaned down ever so slightly, and whispered something. Dumbledore glanced up at Snape with an unwavering smile as he listened. Hermione was sure that neither she nor any of the others were being covert in their staring anymore. In fact, a second after Snape started speaking to Dumbledore, his eyes darted over to where Hermione was sitting at the Gryffindor table, turning away a millisecond later.

"Something's wrong," Harry murmured ominously. Snape pulled away from Dumbledore's side, and turned towards the back exit of the Great Hall by the Head Table. He exited the room. Dumbledore got up and followed behind a moment later. McGonagall, who sat beside Dumbledore, watched in utter confusion for a long moment before returning to normal and pretending to focus on her breakfast.

"Yeah," Ginny nodded in agreement, "something's definitely wrong."

Harry, Hermione, and Ginny barely ate for the rest of breakfast, unable to think about food while waiting and wondering in such suspense over what was going on. Ron, on the other hand, handled his stress by doing the exact opposite and eating more than enough food for the four of them.

Time passed at a languid, tedious pace. Soon, however, students finished their meals, eager to get back to their dormitories and do some last minute packing before the Express was scheduled to depart. "We should probably get going," Harry murmured, "I doubt Dumbledore or Snape are going to come back in here."

Hermione nodded in agreement, following Harry as he led the group from the Great Hall. She stole one last glance up at the head table upon her exit, seeing that Remus was now speaking in low tones to a worried-looking Professor McGonagall. Just before she lost sight of him his gaze turned in her direction, meeting her eyes for a split second.

"Ah, I wondered when I would find the four of you."

Hermione almost started at Professor Dumbledore's cheery voice. She whipped her head around to look at him. He stood just outside of the Great Hall in the corridor, alone. Nothing in his expression betrayed that anything was out of the ordinary, but Hermione liked to think that she knew better than to believe that.

"P-Professor," Harry sputtered, stopping in his tracks and causing Ron to walk right into his back with a grunt. "Is everything okay?"

Dumbledore smiled cheerfully, looking out through the open front doors of the school to the scenery outside, "why it's quite a wonderful day outside, isn't it? I like to think that this is a most joyous occasion for many students excited to go home and begin their summer holidays."

Nobody spoke. He was equivocating. Hermione almost went so far as to repeat Harry's question in irritation.

Dumbledore sighed, "Anyway, the reason I've come to find the four of you is because there is a matter that requires discussion. Would you mind accompanying me to my office?" He looked over the four of them, eyes still twinkling like every bloody thing was right in the world. Hermione idly wondered if perhaps he wasn't just pretending to be cheery for their sake, but because there were other people around them that shouldn't know something was amiss. She looked at the waning crowd of students exiting the Great Hall, spotting several Slytherin robes among other students who seemed general intrigued by Dumbledore's appearance outside the Hall and his conversation with the four Gryffindors.

"Of course, Professor," Harry said, nodding.

Dumbledore smiled once more before turning and leading the way to his office. Hermione fell into step behind Harry, with Ginny at her right and Ron at her left. Both Ginny and Ron gave her many suspicious and questioning looks as they walked she just shrugged at them, trying to convey that she still hadn't figured out for sure what this was about.

"Cocoa Clusters," Dumbledore intoned once they arrived outside of his office. Only a second later, the gargoyles began to shift and move, an ascending staircase revealed. Dumbledore pressed on.

Inside his office, Hermione was shocked to see that there was already a bit of an assembly present. Professor Snape was there, along with McGonagall, Remus, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Harry, Ron, and Ginny all seemed to be in relatively the same state of surprise as Hermione. "Mum? Dad?" Ginny muttered, allowing her mother to give her a hug while she looked around the room. Mrs. Weasley moved on to hug Ron, Harry, and Hermione as well, her expression one of a sort of twisted sadness. Hermione felt her chest tighten with anxiety. Had something happened? Was someone hurt? Did Malfoy strike again and actually find success? All these questions swarmed within her mind.

"Have the others been contacted, Minerva?" Dumbledore intoned, taking a seat behind his desk and looking at Professor McGonagall, who stood just to his right.

McGonagall nodded. "The rest should arrive any minute."

"Excellent," Dumbledore grinned, his eyes focusing back on Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny once more. "Lemondrop, anyone?"

Everyone shook his or her head in dissent. Hermione felt too sick to want to eat anything. Her stomach was tied in anxious knots. She wrung out her hands nervously, glancing around the room and trying to gauge the situation. McGonagall wore an expression of slight unease. Snape betrayed nothing at all. Remus looked anxious and confused. Hermione realized that he probably knew just as much as herself at this point. Mr. Weasley watched Dumbledore and Snape intently. Overall, everyone seemed to be in similar states of suspense as Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny.

In the following minutes, a few more people arrived in Dumbledore's office. First were Tonks and Mad-Eye, both wearing their Auror Robes and looking foreboding. Next were Fred and George, and then Bill. All received great hugs from their mother while panning the room nervously, probably worried that it had been Ron or Harry or someone else who'd been attacked this time. After them came Sirius, stumbling through the special Floo connection to his flat, looking groggy with sleep. Upon finally getting his bearings in Dumbledore's office he looked to the Headmaster himself and raised his hand to his forehead in a little mock-salute before stepping back beside Remus. The twins barely hid their amusement at Sirius' antics.

"I believe that is everyone who can make it right now," McGonagall intoned, her voice causing any idle chatter around the room to die down. She looked to Dumbledore expectantly.

"Excellent," said Dumbledore, clasping his hands together. "The reason I have called this meeting is because last night many important events occurred, events that I feel are pertinent to discuss so that everyone here knows why I have decided to make a certain decision."

Hermione felt as if a switch had been flipped in her head, turning on some sort of emission of unease. Before she had just been worried, but now she was suspicious. Dumbledore had made a _decision_. He wanted to discuss what had happened, but everything he'd just said led Hermione to believe that this decision was in no way open for discussion.

"Is everyone okay?" Mrs. Weasley cut in, gripping Mr. Weasley's arm in one hand and Bill's in the other.

"Yes, yes, Molly," Dumbledore assured her, "no one has been injured. There have simply been a few… advancements." As Professor Dumbledore finished his sentence his eyes drifted over to Professor Snape, who stood straight as a ramrod with an expression of bored disenchantment. "Severus, would you like to explain?"

Snape met Dumbledore's eyes, paused for a long beat of silence, and then opened his mouth. "I daresay you may be able to explain it just as well as I can, Headmaster. Please, go right ahead." There was a hint of frustration in his tone, but Hermione was perplexed as to why.

"Very well," Dumbledore nodded, leaning back in his chair and gazing at the small crowd. "Last night Severus was called into a meeting with the upper ranks of Voldemort's Death Eaters."

"Albus," Mrs. Weasley cut in quickly, stepping forward, "I'm sorry, but are you quite sure that the children should be present for this? I know that you haven't called an official Order meeting, but surely they do not need to be present for a conversation such as this one?"

"Molly-" Mr. Weasley began, only to be cut off by Dumbledore's raised hand.

"It is an understandable concern, Arthur." He shifted his gaze to Mrs. Weasley, "Molly, I did consider excluding them from this conversation, but what we are about to discuss is something that very much pertains to all of them, and will very much affect their lives in the coming weeks. Do not fret; I am not inducting them into the Order, I simply feel that this conversation requires their attendance, and I trust that you will soon feel this way as well."

Hermione watched Mrs. Weasley closely as she let out a deflating breath, her eyes ghosting over Ginny, Harry, Ron, and Hermione before returning to Dumbledore. She nodded.

"Very well," the Headmaster smiled brightly. "Now, at the meeting it was revealed that Voldemort is now aware of Lucius Malfoy's failed attempts at the lives of Miss Granger and Miss Weasley." He paused, and Hermione felt the whole room grow heavy with some sort of intangible weight. She shared a brief look of sadness with Ginny before returning her attention to Dumbledore.

"The Dark Lord also discovered through Severus, Lucius, and other surveillance methods that we have been utilizing many resources to increase security around Hogwarts and the children." Hermione disliked the way Dumbledore called them "children," but she tried to ignore it. Professor Dumbledore continued; all attention was honed in on him. "Voldemort was, understandably, quite enraged. He has decided that any means necessary must be used to first eliminate Harry's loved ones while they are not under the same protection as Harry, and then pursue Harry himself."

Stifling silence stretched and expanded between the occupants of the office. Hermione found herself almost unwillingly breaking the silence, but she did so anyway. "We're going into hiding," she murmured, "aren't we?"

Dumbledore nodded solemnly. Everyone in the room seemed to shift with discomfort and whisper something to their neighbor in disbelief. Hermione looked to Ron, Harry, and Ginny. All three of them were nearly slack-jawed. Harry, however, looked sadder than anything else. In response, Ginny reached for his hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.

"We can't possibly!" Bill spoke up, stepping forward, "there's too much here that depends on us. What about Tonks and Mad-Eye? We need people at the Ministry. What about all the other people who need our protection but can't simply hide away? We can't take everyone into hiding."

"Nor can we save everyone, Bill." It was Mr. Weasley who spoke, despondence weighing down his voice.

"There are many factors that have been taking into consideration," Dumbledore continued, standing from his desk and beginning to pace around the room. "While there are some members of the Order that will need to remain here and continue on with their lives, both for surveillance and precautionary purposes, I believe that the safest bet at this point is to bring those closest to Harry into hiding for the time being. At least until there is more stability, or until this war is over."

"That could take years," Mad-Eye said brusquely, "as the head liaison with the Auror Department for the Order I simply cannot allow it."

"That is exactly why you will not leave, Alastor," Dumbledore panned the room of people, "I do believe that it would be wise for everyone in this room except for Alastor, Minerva, and myself to go into hiding. Nymphadora," he addressed Tonks, her hair now a faded rusty red color where it had once been bubblegum pink, "I would understand if you wish to remain here and continue your work at the Ministry, but I also know that everyone here would feel safer if you accompanied them."

Tonks wore a closed off expression. She turned to Mad-Eye for a short moment and he nodded once at her. "I'll go," she said, looking back to Dumbledore.

"Very well," Dumbledore said.

"But where will we go?" Mrs. Weasley interjected shrilly, "back to Grimmauld?"

Hermione was sure that no one but Remus and herself heard Sirius' groan and accompanying whisper of "_not fucking again_."

Dumbledore shook his head and looked at Snape. The Potions Master had remained silent for a long time. He still said nothing, didn't show a flicker of emotion or response. Dumbledore turned back to the group. "Grimmauld Place, while having helped greatly in the past, is no longer the safest location, I'm afraid. The Death Eaters are aware of the Order Headquarters being located in London, and we have a reason to believe that it would be fairly easy for them to locate Grimmauld Place with only a little work. It is because of this that another location has been decided on." Another furtive glance was sent in Snape's direction. Hermione narrowed her eyes, watching Dumbledore and Snape closely. "Severus has graciously offered up a property owned by his family to be used as a safe house."

The room filled with tension like a gust of wind breathing through a newly open window. Hermione could almost hear the thoughts of outrage from Ron and Harry. They didn't trust Snape completely, especially with matters like this.

"How can we be sure that it is safe?" McGonagall was the one to finally speak up.

"It's safer than nearly any other location on this earth," Snape said flatly, "perhaps even as safe as Hogwarts itself. It belonged to my mother's family. I am the only living person with knowledge of its existence and whereabouts."

"I will be the Secret Keeper," Dumbledore spoke up, "and extensive wards will also be put into place. In addition, Severus is willing to stay at the house for the majority of his time to ensure that everything goes smoothly and to strengthen the blood wards."

"_Blood_ wards?" Harry murmured, a fearful look on his face.

"In the early seventeenth century Wizarding families started to use them," Hermione explained, "they're especially strong wards that function better if more people who share the blood of the creator of the wards are nearby."

"They're essentially archaic now," Remus added from across the room, "but still remain in some estates of a few of the ancient pureblood families."

"Yes," Dumbledore nodded briskly, "and Severus' presence on the property of the Prince Estate will indeed strengthen and rebuild these wards."

_Estate… he called it an estate._ Hermione had to admit; she was quite intrigued about where they were going. She'd never really thought much about what Snape's family was like, but she supposed that this whole debacle would provide her with at least a bit more insight.

"So who all will be going then?" Tonks spoke up, looking around the room and then back at Dumbledore.

"I should hope that mostly everyone here would feel comfortable with this plan and be willing to go. The only exceptions are myself and Minerva because we must remain at Hogwarts to keep the castle in order, and Alastor so that he can remain at the Ministry. Kingsley will also remain at the Ministry, of course, so that he can provide us with more of the information he's been passing along for the past several months. Does anyone else here have any objections to this?"

Bill Weasley stepped forward, "With all due respect, I don't think I want to leave, sir."

Mrs. Weasley looked at him with something akin to outrage. "And why is that?" she began crossing her arms over her chest and staring him down. Beside her, Mr. Weasley looked perplexed.

"I have Fleur now," Bill stated simply, "we just bought a house and we're trying to have a normal life away from all of this while we can. Mum, you must understand why I don't want to uproot my family. Besides, neither Charlie nor Percy have even been spoken of!"

"Charlie's in Romania," Ginny interjected harshly, "he's not in the same danger you'll be in."

"And Percy?" Bill continued looking around at his family members.

"I don't quite know if I could stand living with Percy again," Ron grumbled under his breath.

"Agreed," Fred and George echoed in unison.

"Don't speak that way about your brother!" Mrs. Weasley snapped at Ron, Fred, and George.

Hermione watched the exchange closely. Ginny was incensed that Bill didn't want to go with them. She loved Bill dearly, and Hermione understood why she was upset that Bill would not put himself and his wife into a safer situation with the rest of his family. Her gaze drifted around the room, from Sirius, to Remus, to Tonks, to Snape. Snape wore a sour expression, like he detested the whole of the Weasley family more than anything. Hermione wondered how much he was dreading having bring the Weasleys into his own house.

"Look," Bill said, deflating after the lashing out, "Shell Cottage is safe. No one knows where we live. We might as well be in Romania like Charlie." He turned to face Ginny, tenderly now, "I'll be safe, Gin. I can stop by for Order meetings whenever we have them. I just don't want to uproot my family."

There was a pause. Dumbledore was the one to break it. "I don't believe there will be a problem with that plan, Bill. You are not one whom I would expect to be a target anyway."

Bill nodded, stepping back between his father and Fred.

"Now that we've resolved that," Dumbledore clapped his hands together, panning the room, "are there any other matters to discuss?"

Hermione cleared her throat, feeling the shift of gazes onto her. "I actually have a few things I'd like to speak about, Professor."

Dumbledore nodded for her to continue.

"First," she breathed, squaring her shoulders and trying to sound as strong as she could, "is the matter of my parents. Am I to simply leave and not tell them where I'm going? How can they be safe at home if I'm not safe there?"

Dumbledore regarded her for a moment. "I believe that there are already several sets of protective wards around your parents' house, am I correct?"

She nodded.

"While those wards can provide plenty of protection to your parents, they are weakened by a magical person residing within the house. I'm sure you've learned about this, Miss Granger."

"Of course," she conceded.

"Well," Dumbledore sighed, "I do believe that as long as someone goes there and strengthens the wards sometime soon, your parents will be completely safe there. You, on the other hand, we cannot be sure of. There is also another option, of course. If your parents are willing, I'm sure there will be room enough at the Estate."

Hermione thought about this deeply for a long moment before shaking her head and echoing Bill. "I can't uproot their life… and I don't want them to have to face the full extent of this war be being put in a house with the Order. I think- I _feel_ like they will be safe at home without me."

"Very well," Dumbledore conceded, "perhaps after we are finished here someone can take you to your parents and work on the wards while you speak to them about what is going on?"

"Okay," Hermione murmured, nodding and trying to convince herself that this was indeed the best option.

"Is there anything else?" Dumbledore asked, watching her intently.

"Yes," she breathed, straightening her shoulders and standing up taller, "I have two requests that are key to my compliance in all of this." She knew that she probably shouldn't have made it sound like this was some sort of bargain, but she couldn't help it.

McGonagall stood beside Dumbledore, arching a brow at Hermione. Dumbledore seemed unfazed. "And what are these requests?"

She looked around the room, her gaze hesitating on Harry, Ron, and Ginny. "I want all of us to become official members of the Order of the Phoenix," she said, meeting Dumbledore's gaze brazenly, "and I want Draco and Narcissa Malfoy to accompany us to the safe house and live under it's protection."

"_What_?" Ron whispered, shocked and outraged, "_Malfoy_? You do realize that his father is the one we're trying to get away from, right?"

"Yes, Ronald," Hermione replied cooly, "his _father_. Draco and his mother have been struggling to try to get away from Lucius Malfoy, and I know that they would benefit from being under the protection of the Order. There would have to be some precautions taken, of course, because we obviously can't be certain of their trustworthiness yet, but I think that both of them could turn out to be highly beneficial allies to have in the end." She hoped it wasn't too obvious that she'd rehearsed those exact words dozens of times in her head.

Dumbledore watched her closely. She looked around the rest of the room. Snape was looking at her blankly, but she felt like there was just a hint of approval in the tilt of his head. Tonks and Mad-Eye just looked suspicious. Remus, Sirius, and most of the Weasleys looked very conflicted. Harry's expression was one that surprised her the most. He was actually smiling at her in something akin to pride. It was quite odd, really, that Harry looked proud of _her_.

"Severus and I can certainly look into this, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, sitting at his desk and tapping his fingers on the wood of the desk. "If it turns out that Mr. Malfoy and his mother are truly to be trusted, I think that can be arranged. Now, as for your other request..."

She tried to stand taller yet again, and she felt as if Harry, Ron, and Ginny did the same, uniting behind her. They'd all wanted to become a part of the Order since spending that summer at Grimmauld Place years ago. It had always been a matter of age and necessity, but now it seemed like there was no real way they could be excluded anymore. "Harry, Ron, and I have graduated school now. All of us are of age, even Ginny. With the war picking up and such a drastic measure as this being taken, I don't see why we should not be inducted right away."

"That's outrageous!" Mrs. Weasley cut in, "you're barely adults! Ginny is far too young!"

"Molly," Mr. Weasley whispered lowly, "let's be civil about this."

"I think it's a great idea," Sirius cut in next, grinning brilliantly at Harry and the rest of them. Harry grew taller and prouder.

"They barely even know how to fight," Mrs. Weasley muttered, sounding almost horror-stricken, "we can't send them on missions or into danger while they're so young."

"It's not like there will be many missions to go on when we're all locked up in hiding, Mum." It was Ginny who spoke this time.

"Besides," Ron said, "Fred and George only had to wait a couple months after leaving Hogwarts before becoming a part of the Order." Fred and George both nodded in affirmation.

"But you're still so young," Mrs. Weasley whispered mournfully. She seemed to be nearly on the verge of crying now. Mr. Weasley put his arm around her. Hermione glanced to Dumbledore. He'd still barely spoken a word.

"To be fair, Molly," Remus interjected, "Sirius, James, Lily, Peter, and I were all inducted straight out of school. We managed alright back then, and I daresay our skills at eighteen barely compared to those of these four now." His words were meant for the group of them, but his eyes wavered on Hermione. Her chest grew momentarily tight and constricted as she held his gaze.

Mrs. Weasley tearfully gazed at Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. "But surely-" her voice broke off, "surely Ginny is still to young."

Ginny spoke next, her voice softer, "Only by a few months. I deserve to be a part of the Order now, just like them."

"Perhaps it would be for the best," Mr. Weasley muttered to his wife.

"I do think that it can be arranged," Dumbledore said, focused on Hermione alone, "the four of you may join the Order, but you must remember that it requires a large amount of responsibility and discretion. While I'm confident that each of you can handle it, I must know that you all understand."

Mrs. Weasley made a small noise of grief. Hermione wanted to tell the woman that it wasn't like she was actually sending her children off to fight in a war or giving them a death sentence.

"We understand," Harry said sturdily. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny nodded in agreement.

"Very well," Dumbledore nodded, "we will deal with the technicalities of admission to the Order at our next official meeting, sometime next week."

Hermione wanted to ask why they couldn't just get it over with right now, but she didn't. She needed to be a member of the Order, and if she had to wait a few days, that was okay.

"Now," Dumbledore sighed, looking around the room, "is there anything else we need to discuss here?"

No one spoke.

Dumbledore nodded. "We will reconvene here at four o'clock this afternoon, after the Hogwarts Express has departed." He looked to Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny once again, "I'll need the four of you to keep quite and try to remain unnoticed while everyone is leaving. We don't want to arouse suspicion by having other students find out that none of you are taking the Express home."

"What about my parents?" Hermione said softly.

Dumbledore looked around the room. "I believe Severus would be the best person to strengthen the wards. Nymphadora, would you mind accompanying them?"

Tonks nodded, smiling at Hermione. "I'd be happy to."

She was relieved that Tonks and Snape would be the ones to accompany her. She trusted both of them very much.

With everything sorted out, Dumbledore told everyone to continue on with their days and prepare for the departure later that afternoon. It was rather sudden, but apparently Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had been anticipating something like this for a long time and were already prepared. Sirius could easily get his belongings out of his flat in only an hour or two, as well as everyone living at Hogwarts, who were already packed.

The only thing left for Hermione to do was go to her parents and try to explain what was going on. It would be a difficult conversation, and Hermione knew that she had to be very strategic about it so as to not scare them too much while also ensuring the necessity of all of this. On the bright side, though, at least it would be safer for her mum and dad. That was all she really wanted in the end.

Her eyes met Remus' as she followed Snape and Tonks out of Dumbledore's office. Her only thought upon meeting his gaze was the fact that they would be living in the same house now; a house that was as far away from Hogwarts and their student-teacher relationship as they could get. Her gut twisted with a strange mix of emotions.

Things were changing.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I just finished writing chapter 26 and I've realized that this is going to be a lot longer than I initially thought. I imagined we'd hit 30 chapters at most, but now that I'm looking at my outline, I'm realizing that I have about 10 chapters left, give or take a few. So I'm gonna make a rough guess and say this will end up at about 37 chapters. That's a lot, right? It certainly feels like a lot. I can't wait for you guys to read all of it. I can't wait to _write_ it.

Part one is officially over as of this chapter. Part two is up next. We hit 200 reviews on the last chapter, and I can't even tell you guys how happy it made me. Thank you all so much! I tried to show my thanks by giving you this chapter ASAP. Hopefully you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think!


	17. Only do not forget

**PART TWO**

The Prince Estate

* * *

**XVII**

Only do not forget

* * *

"Mum, you don't understand!"

The small, quaint kitchen of Hermione's childhood home was filled with a thick air of tension. Hermione stood in the center of the kitchen, facing off against her mother. "Yes, Hermione," Mrs. Granger spoke crisply, "_of course_ I don't understand. Because there's something you aren't telling me!"

Their voices were certainly carrying through the house. Hermione could imagine Snape, Tonks, and her father sitting in silent discomfort in the other room whilst Hermione and her mother argued loudly.

"Just tell me what it is," Mrs. Granger said with a sudden soft tone. She stepped forward and placed a hand on Hermione's arm. "You can tell me the truth, Hermione. I know things are bad out there, but perhaps we can figure something out. Maybe we can leave, just the three of us, take a trip?"

Hermione stepped away from her mother, taking deep breaths in attempts to stop the tears forming in her eyes. "I can't _leave_, mum. I told you, I'm not safe here and there are people that need me."

"Why aren't you safe? Why can't you explain it to me?" Her mum's voice was growing angry again. Hermione and her mother shared their famous quick temper. It was something her father often teased them about.

"You just have to trust me," the young witch pleaded, "please, trust that I can't explain it to you, but I'm going to be safer like this."

Suddenly they weren't alone in the kitchen anymore. Hermione heard Professor Snape's footsteps just a moment before he stuck his head in the doorway, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"The wards are finished, Miss Granger. We have to leave now." Snape didn't meet Hermione's eyes as he spoke, and she was sure it was because she was crying and nearly seething with frustration.

"Alright," she replied hoarsely. When Snape stepped out a second later, she turned to her mother. "I'm sorry, mum."

Mrs. Granger shook her head, tears in her eyes as she stepped forward and wrapped her daughter in a hug. "Be safe, love. Take care of Harry and Ron, but don't overwork yourself."

Hermione buried her head in her mother's shoulder. "Okay. I'll try."

The hug lasted for a few seconds longer before Hermione pulled away. Every extra second she spent here with Snape and Tonks was a second more of strain on the wards. They had to go.

She apologized to her mum once more for everything before they proceeded out of the kitchen. In the sitting room Tonks and Hermione's father were chatting while Snape stood stonily nearby. The Potions Master looked odd and out of place in his Hogwarts robes. Tonks at least had the sense to wear Muggle clothes here this afternoon, even if her washed out red jeans and black leather jacket were striking to look at.

"You're leaving?" Mr. Granger asked, standing up from the couch and stepping toward Hermione for a hug.

"Goodbye, dad," Hermione said, nodding and trying hard to resist breaking out into sobs.

"Bye, love. Take care of yourself. Did your mum already tell you that?"

Hermione nodded once more, chuckling despite herself. Her parents always worried about things like that, especially after the fiasco that was her third year. She still remembered coming home at the end of the term and seeing her parent's shocked expressions at how sleep deprived and thin she looked.

It was about two more minutes of goodbyes until Hermione was ready to go. Tonks thanked her mum and dad for their hospitality, Snape nodded curtly at them, and then they were off, stepping out the door of Hermione's childhood home and progressing toward the Apparition point.

Hermione tried not to wonder whether this was the last time she would ever see her parents. She tried not to wonder how long she would be away, or if she would even be alive long enough to return. Instead she squared her shoulders and set off with Snape and Tonks, ready to take whatever came her way until this war was over.

* * *

Remus stood beside Sirius in Albus' office, lost deep in his thoughts. It was growing late now. The students had departed with the Express only an hour ago. The castle was barren except for the House Elves and the group currently assembled in Albus' office. Almost everyone was present, with the exception of Hermione, Severus, and Nymphadora. Remus tried to tell himself not to be nervous at the fact that they were taking so long. There was nothing to worry about; it was probably just a minor delay.

A moment later the Floo burned bright green and three figures stumbled in. Well, Hermione and Nymphadora stumbled. Severus stepped through with his normal sturdy poise.

"How'd it go?" Harry asked immediately.

"Fine," Hermione muttered, moving to stand between Harry and Ginny. Her eyes were slightly red-rimmed, and her mouth was set in a firm line. Remus wanted to ask if everything was okay, but he couldn't. He simply watched.

Hermione found her trunk sitting in the corner with Harry, Ron, and Ginny's things. They all shrunk their luggage together, putting the trunks in their pockets while Hermione carried Crookshanks and Harry held onto Hedwig's cage. The ginger ball of fur burrowed its squished face into Hermione's arms with a contented purr.

"The wards will hold," Severus said curtly, referencing the wards around Hermione's parents' home. Remus wasn't sure if the statement was aimed at Albus or the entire room.

Tonks came to stand beside Sirius. Remus noted that her hair was a deep blue color, unlike the usual bubblegum pink. "Are we ready to go?" she inquired, looking around the room, honing in on Albus.

The Headmaster nodded once, retrieving an old pewter vase from his desk "This is the Portkey," he informed them. "It will take you just within the outer wards of the Estate. Upon arrival, you will make haste toward the house, go inside, and remain there until I arrive tonight." Dumbledore's words were brisk and stony. Remus could tell the man wanted to make it clear that his orders were to be obeyed without even a sliver of disobedience.

It was good, in the end, that all of these precautions were being taken. The Death Eaters were more adamant than ever in their desire to reach Harry and his friends. With people like Fred, George, and Sirius, who all had a propensity for disobeying orders, it was good that Albus was making himself clear.

"And the Malfoys?"

Harry's voice rang loudly through the room. Remus watched Hermione give her friend a small smile for his consideration.

"Draco and Narcissa have been informed of the arrangements, and agreed to accompany everyone to the Estate and to cooperate once they have arrived. Severus will be retrieving them later this afternoon, once he ensures that everyone here is settled in at our safe house." Albus betrayed none of his own emotions or feelings toward this matter as he spoke. He simply looked passive, and Remus wondered if the man actually trusted Draco and Narcissa. To be honest, Remus even wondered if he himself trusted them. The Malfoys had never been a family sympathetic to their cause, but judging by Draco's behavior lately, along with his reaction to seeing the results of his father's brutality toward Ginny, he was changing.

It was Arthur Weasley who spoke "And how have we ensured that they can be trusted?"

"I spiked their tea with Veritaserum," Severus muttered coolly, staring straight ahead with an irritated glint in his eye, "and I'll remind everyone here that I _am,_ in fact, an accomplished Legilimens."

Sirius scoffed, "and how are we to trust you?" His expression was hateful.

"_Padfoot_," Remus whispered warningly to the man at his side. He hadn't spoken to his Sirius much today, but he knew for certain that his friend was decidedly unhappy to be moving into Severus' house.

Severus was glaring daggers at Sirius. "Maybe you _shouldn't_ trust me, mutt."

Sirius growled lowly, which only prompted a self-satisfied grin to slink across Severus' face. Remus grabbed Sirius' wand arm tightly, willing his friend not to resort to violence. Sometimes Sirius could be awfully immature and hotheaded. Remus knew it was the result of his ever-repressed life.

"Enough, gentlemen," Albus ordered. His voice was light, but his expression was one that demanded obedience. With simultaneous icy glares at each other, Severus and Sirius returned their gaze to the headmaster.

"The Portkey will depart in about fifty seconds," Albus announced, "I expect my earlier directions to be followed, along with adherence to any rules Severus sets this afternoon." With one last pointed look at Sirius, the older man set the Portkey on the ground in the center of his office and stepped back.

Everyone crowded closer, placing a hand on the pewter vase and waiting. Remus caught Hermione's eye, directly across from him, squished between Ginny and Ron. He could still see that her eyes were just a little bloodshot. He decided then and there that he was going to speak to her later, to ask about her parents if nothing else.

With a pull at his navel, Remus felt the Portkey take off. After a long, sickening tug, the scene around them started to change. Remus barely managed to catch his footing in the new environment as he was hurled toward the ground. He remained upright in the end, though the same couldn't be said for many of the others.

Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Fred, George, and Tonks had all landed in a heap on the grass. Ginny and Tonks giggled while Ron groaned in pain, having ended up on the bottom of something Muggles would refer to as a dog pile.

Remus' attention was only drawn away from the heap of bodies by Molly's gasp behind him. He turned, following her gaze and freezing at the sight before him.

When Albus called it an Estate he hadn't been kidding. The structure before them was colossal.

It was a two story rectangular shaped building made of old, washed out bricks. Ivy climbed up the sides in patches and thick clumps. I had a beautiful sort of overgrown feeling to it. The bricks were yellowing and the tiled roof faded where the rain had fallen over the years. Just facing the front of the building, Remus could count at least twelve windows; all leading to what he presumed were several separated rooms of the building.

There was a long strip of grass and a gravel pathway leading up to the front of the Estate. If the state of the house itself wasn't evidence enough of its extended vacancy, the overgrown lawn proved it.

A billowing form interrupted Remus' admiration of the house. Severus strode forward with an impatient briskness, brandishing his wand in front of him, causing a rippling in the transparent inner wards of the property. As Remus passed through the wards he felt the unusually strong twinge of magic. These were well-made wards. He'd always known Severus was quite adept at them, but it seemed to be truer than he'd ever expected.

"_Snape_ owns this place?" Ginny whispered in awe.

"Bloody hell," Ron mumbled.

"Stop gawking and come on," Hermione ordered, "Dumbledore said we have to get into the house quickly."

Remus heard the rustling of footsteps while everyone fell into stride behind Severus. Sirius wore a sour expression as he glared at Severus' back, following the man reluctantly. Remus wanted to tell Sirius to stop acting so childish, but it really was no use at this point. The two of them would be enemies forever.

"Wotcher, Remus," Tonks said, falling into stride on Remus' left. "This place is mad, right?"

Remus nodded. "From the way it was when we were in school I never thought his family had this kind of money…" They were drawing nearer to the house now, Snape several meters ahead.

"It's only his mother's side of the family," Arthur informed them. He stood behind with Molly at his side. "From what I understand, Severus inherited the Estate when his mother died. He didn't even know it existed until that point."

Sirius looked bored. Remus was intrigued. Something had always been interesting about the family Severus came from.

As the large group drew even closer to the front of the house, Remus was able to see the faint outline of the wards around the property. They were wide, stretching far away from just the building, encasing the whole property.

Upon entering the house, Remus was assaulted by a smell of dust and decay that reminded him sharply of Grimmauld Place. He caught Molly squaring her shoulders and crossing her arms out of the corner of his eye. It didn't take much to infer that she was already forming plans for an expansive cleaning routine. Somewhere behind him one of the twins coughed at the heavy dust in the air. He could almost feel Severus' irritated eye roll.

All the others filed inside. Once Hermione had entered, her familiar jumped out of her arms, bolting out of sight and up a staircase with a dash of orange fur. "_Crookshanks_!" she hissed.

Just then, Severus turned around, flicking his wand and shutting the door behind the last of the stragglers. He set his jaw tightly, as if immensely uncomfortable with the idea of so many people he disliked in his house. "There are thirteen rooms that can function as bedrooms. Some of the rooms will require a great deal of cleaning, but they all contain furniture. There is a kitchen, dining room, library, and drawing room. The attic is off-limits, as well as the master bedroom. The House Elves that previously to resided here are long gone, so all of you will have to do the cleaning and cooking for yourselves."

Just like that, he was finished; he turned and strode further into the house, up a large main staircase and out of view. Remus took a moment to accustom himself to the interior of the house. The entry room was large and showed signs of once being very beautiful. In the center was the wide, dusty staircase that Snape had just ascended. To either side of the staircase were two hallways.

Once Severus' footsteps faded, Arthur and Molly stepped forward, murmuring each other in some sort of consultation. "Alright then," Molly spoke up, facing the group, "Arthur and I think it's best if the kids share the east wing upstairs," she pointed to her left as she spoke, "Remus, Sirius, and Tonks can distribute the east wing on this floor amongst themselves," she looked to Arthur, who nodded in agreement, "and Arthur and I will take one of the bedrooms on the west wing. Everyone else can figure their own sleeping arrangements as we go."

She looked to Arthur, silently asking if he had anything to add. He looked at the twins pointedly, "no pranks, jokes, or general mischief."

Fred and George simultaneously saluted their father. "Aye aye, sir," they chorused. Arthur shook his head and began to follow Molly on their exploration of the west wing.

"I can't believe we have to be on the same floor as Snape," Ron muttered distastefully, standing between Ginny and Harry and eyeing the staircase.

"And most likely the Malfoys when arrive," Ginny added.

"Lucky us," Fred grumbled.

"Don't complain so much," Hermione chided them, "it was very kind of Professor Snape to open his home to us." Remus allowed himself a wry smile of amusement. Hermione must have realized that this was in no way done on Severus' own volition. It was obvious from the conversation this morning that Albus had manipulated and coerced Severus into agreement.

"Barely a 'home' if you ask me," Ron quipped, looking around the dilapidated interior.

"Enough, Ronald," Hermione said shortly, "let's go figure out our rooms."

Soon only Remus, Sirius, and Tonks were left in the entryway of the grand house. "Come on, then," Sirius mumbled, making his way towards the hallway to the right of the staircase. There were three bedrooms and one bathroom at the end of the hall. Off to the left through one of the doorways Remus could see stacks of bookshelves within what looked like a library. He was quite pleased with how expansive the Prince book collection was, spanning several shelves from floor to ceiling. Most of the books were outdated and worn down, but still readable.

Tonks claimed the first room to the right. Remus and Sirius took two rooms side-by-side on the left. Upon entering his room, Remus was assaulted by a stronger scent of dust. He sneezed loudly when he pulled aside the white sheet covering the bed. Eventually, he had enough and decided to use an air-purifying spell.

There was a desk and a wardrobe aside from the bed. Overall, Remus was quite pleased- mostly because there was a comfortable queen-sized bed. He was extremely tired. Today had been a long day, and he finally had a bed in front of him again. It would be nice to take a bit of a nap before dinnertime.

* * *

"We'll have a lot of cleaning to do, ladies," Mrs. Weasley, mumbled, looking over the dining room with all its dust and grime.

"Can't we use a spell?" Ginny asked, leaning so that she could peek through the doorway that connected the kitchen and dining room. Hermione stood behind her, cracking open the ancient oven and checking the pork roast.

"Spells are alright for temporary cleaning," Mrs. Weasley explained, "but non-magical cleaning is much better, especially for surfaces that we _eat_ on, Ginevra."

Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Mrs. Weasley?" Hermione called out, looking to the older woman, "I think it's done cooking."

"Wonderful, Hermione. Take it out, will you? Ginny, call everyone to dinner."

Ginny nodded, striding from the room and leaving only Hermione and Mrs. Weasley. Hermione took the roast out, setting it on the freshly cleaned counter and allowing it to cool down. Mrs. Weasley bustled over, giving Hermione occasional directions as the prepared the rest of dinner and fetched silverware and china.

"How are you, Hermione?" Mrs. Weasley's question sounded innocent and meaningless, but Hermione knew there was a lot veiled beneath it.

"I'm well," she replied, searching through the kitchen cabinets for a serving tray. "It's nice not having to worry about N.E.W.T.s anymore." She could feel the eyes on her back, and was suddenly very self-conscious.

"And how is Remus?"

Hermione shifted with discomfort. "He's well, I think." She finally found a serving tray, pulling it down from the cabinet and reaching for a rag to wash it off.

"He seems to care about you quite a bit." Mrs. Weasley's tone had shifted into something that made Hermione desperate to flee the room.

"Oh," she mumbled, searching for something to say.

Luckily, at that moment Ginny entered the kitchen once more. "They're coming. Snape just came back with the Malfoys, too. They're out front."

Hermione perked up. She could already hear voices out in the main entryway. Setting down what she was doing, she left the kitchen.

Everyone in the house was passing through on their way to dinner, and stopped when they saw the Malfoys. Harry, Ron, and the twins stood just in front of Sirius and Remus. Across from them was Snape, followed by Draco and his mother.

Narcissa Malfoy held herself like her husband and her son. It was almost as if her nose was permanently stuck up in the air. She stood with her shoulders pushed back and her long blonde hair falling over them. While the way she held herself resembled a Malfoy, her appearance was that of a Black. Her face looked eerily like Bellatrix Lestrange, but some of her features also reminded Hermione of Sirius.

Snape, wearing a weary glare, turned towards Draco and Mrs. Malfoy. "I'd suggest claiming a room away from… them. The west wing is mostly empty at this point."

Mrs. Malfoy nodded, a hint of a polite smile on her lips. "Thank you, Severus. Come along, Draco." With that, she started past Professor Snape, a skittish Draco in tow. Just as she was approaching the group of Gryffindors that had accumulated, she stopped.

It took Hermione a second to realize that she'd stopped because of Sirius. Her eyes were locked on the man standing between Remus and Harry. "Hello, Sirius," she muttered, her tone unreadable. Was she surprised that Sirius was here? Did neither she nor Draco know of Sirius' involvement in the Order? They _were_ cousins.

Sirius was obviously uncomfortable. "Hello, Narcissa."

For a moment Mrs. Malfoy looked like she was going to say something else, but then she started walking again, leading a silent Draco along.

"Dinner is ready," Hermione spoke up, stepping forward and watching as Mrs. Malfoy and Draco turned to her, "when you're done getting settled you're welcome to join us."

"Thank you," Mrs. Malfoy replied benignly, turning away a second later.

Soon everyone was seated around the old table in the dining room. Mrs. Weasley had wiped it down several times before allowing Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and Ron to set the table with silverware and plates. Just as they were ready to eat, Draco and Narcissa entered, taking seats beside each other with just a hint of discomfort.

"Is Severus coming down?" Mr. Weasley asked, eyeing the empty seat beside Draco.

Mrs. Malfoy shook her head, muttering a quiet "no." Frankly, Hermione wasn't surprised. Why would Professor Snape want to sit around and eat dinner with them? Even if Draco and Mrs. Malfoy were here, he hated nearly all the others at the table.

Dinner was an interesting affair in the end. Hermione kept to her friends, speaking with Harry, Ron, Ginny, and occasionally the twins. Halfway through dinner, Draco seemed to pluck up the courage to ask if there was a House Elf here. Apparently Severus hadn't broken the news to them yet.

"No," Hermione answered his question from across the table, watching him closely, "there aren't any House Elves." She was just waiting for him to say something out of line, and from the way Harry and Ron had grown deathly silent, they knew what she was doing.

Draco watched her in silent contemplation, and Hermione could feel his mother's curious gaze on her as well. Finally, Draco nodded, returning to his meal in silence.

Hermione could hear Ron and Harry let out simultaneous breaths of relief. She rolled her eyes. It was a known fact that Hermione had been very temperamental lately, but Harry and Ron didn't have to be so dramatic about it. Her eyes fell on Remus when she realized that he was looking at her.

She wanted to speak with him. This morning after the meeting with the Order she'd spent a solid hour thinking about Remus. There had been a fanciful idea in her mind of how things were going to change now that she wasn't his student any more. The idea was only strengthened when she learned that they were going to be living together here at the Estate.

Now, as Hermione watched him laughing at Tonks' joke alongside Sirius and the twins, she wondered if he wanted her at all. What did she even have to offer him? She knew she wasn't very pretty. She'd never been a pretty girl and she'd accepted the fact years ago. She was young, too. She was young and naïve compared to experienced women like– well… like Tonks. Hermione watched the her; Tonks who grinned at Remus with a smile that lit up her face, Tonks with her bubblegum pink hair, Tonks who could be whomever she wanted to be with the will of her magic, Tonks who was older and more experienced, Tonks who knew what she was doing in the world of men.

By the end of dinner Hermione was ready to leave and retreat to her shared room with Ginny for the night. She didn't want to be around people. She didn't want to watch Tonks flirt with Remus, even if he did respond with hints of discomfort and fake smiles.

Ginny suggested at the end of dinner that they go check out the drawing room. Harry and Ron were eager to agree, as were the twins, Sirius, Remus, and Tonks. Hermione was tired, and she hung back as they began to leave the dining room.

To her surprise, just as she was about to exit the room she heard Mrs. Malfoy speak up. "Molly?" the woman said, "would you like some help with the dishes? I figure that since there are no house elves..." Frankly, Hermione was shocked to hear this. Narcissa _Malfoy_ offering to wash dishes in the place of a house elf?

Mrs. Weasley smiled kindly, "I'd love some help, Narcissa." They both said each other's first name with a measure of unfamiliarity and ill fitting, but it was better than if they'd called each other by their surname.

Hermione was just about to leave the room completely when Draco caught up to her. "Granger?" he murmured.

She turned around to look at him, noting that he showed his discomfort in the same way as his mother: his eyes darted around the room every few seconds. "Yes?" Hermione said, watching him curiously. Mrs. Weasley and Mrs. Malfoy were now in the kitchen, leaving Draco and Hermione alone at the threshold of the dining room.

"Uh- I- I wanted to thank you," Draco sputtered, "my _mother_ wanted me to thank you, on behalf of her and myself." It looked almost physically painful for him to be doing this, and Hermione knew that if she put this memory in a Pensieve and showed it to Harry and Ron they'd be laughing like madmen. "So… thank you," Draco continued, "for suggesting that my mother and I be brought here. Severus told us you suggested it."

Hermione smiled at Draco, thinking somewhere in the back of her mind that before a few months ago she'd never in a million years expect something like this to happen between them. "You're welcome," she murmured.

Draco nodded once before proceeding past her and out of sight. Hermione walked into the hallway away from the dining room. She passed the drawing room, stopping in the doorway and seeing that everyone was settled inside.

Harry and Ron had already found a Wizard's Chess set and were well into a game. Ginny and the twins were playing a game of Exploding Snap a few feet away. Sirius and Remus were telling some sort of story about when they'd all gotten a month's detention in their fifth year for charming the doors of the Great Hall stuck closed so no one could go to their classes after breakfast. Everyone – especially Harry – was listening to the story. Hermione caught Remus' eye as she stood in the doorway. She held his gaze for a moment, and he tilted his head to invite her into the room. She shook her head in response and moved away from the doorway, heading towards the grand staircase and up to her bedroom on the second floor.

Crookshanks had finished exploring the grand house and found his way to Hermione's room. She fell into bed beside her half-Kneazle, feeling her exhaustion sink in and her eyelids droop. She was tired now. There would be time to deal with Remus, the Malfoys, and an appraisal of the Estate tomorrow.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Wow. You guys are amazing! We've had a ton of new readers in the past week. Welcome, everyone! I'm very glad you're here.

In other news… I'm sorry I'm making you guys wait so long for the Remus/Hermione action. We're getting there, slowly but surely. If it's any consolation, chapter 18 is probably my favorite piece I've written for any story ever. I pull out all the stops in the next one.


	18. If I wake up crying

**XVIII**

If I wake up crying

* * *

_She was lost in some dense wilderness. It took her several moments to realize with a start that this was the Forbidden Forest. She turned, looking around at the darkened trees, her heart beating loud and fast in her ears. The air felt thick and heavy, making it difficult to breathe._

_Suddenly a noise pierced her consciousness, reverberating through the trees of the forest. She listened to the long, drawn out howl. It was raging, desolate, and desperate. _

_Hermione followed it. _

_She took off at a run, tracing the noise as it continued. The beast didn't stop howling and she didn't stop running._

_But the air was growing heavier, thicker. She could feel her lungs and chest being constricted as she tried, with great, gasping breaths, to get enough air. The beast's howl became tortured, changing in pitch to something lower and more desperate._

_Tears were blurring her eyes, streaming down her cheeks and burning her skin. The air began to burn too. Everything began to burn and she felt her bones shift and break and reform anew. She was screaming and he was howling. She had to find him._

_She continued running, and soon the sound of her heartbeat was joined by another. She could hear the rapid thrum of his own heart; she could sense his chest rise and fall with each inhale. She had to find him._

_But she couldn't breathe at all anymore and everything was burning and now she was howling too. She collapsed to the ground. He was close, his terrible howling louder than ever. He was so close but she couldn't find him. She clawed at the thick air with abandon. She could feel him missing from her._

Hermione jumped.

Her chest was heaving and tears were stinging her eyes. Bolting upright in bed, she searched her surroundings, finding that she was not the Forbidden Forest, but somewhere else entirely.

She was in bed, in her room at Snape's Estate. Ginny's bed was across the room, empty and rumpled from the girl's sleep. Sunlight streamed through the windows. The scent of bacon wafted under the closed door and towards Hermione.

Hermione hugged her arms around herself, calming her heartbeat and slowing her breathing. She'd never been the type to get nightmares; it was very strange whenever she did happen to have one.

After several minutes Hermione got out of bed, fetching a t-shirt and some ratty lounge pants from her trunk and putting them on. She didn't bother to try and fix her haphazardly disheveled braid, deciding that breakfast and tea must come first.

Downstairs, many of Hermione's housemates were already in the dining room eating breakfast. With a mug of tea in her hand, she sat down between Ginny and Fred – or was it George? She couldn't differentiate this early in the morning – and allowed Ginny to pass her a plate with a large portion of eggs and sausage. Draco walked into the room a few seconds after her, looking more tired and less put-together than she'd ever seen him. It was almost comical.

"Rough morning?" Harry asked, eyeing her across the table with a look of sympathy. Sirius and Remus sat beside him, both watching her.

"Mmm," she grumbled, sipping her tea.

"I'd say so," Ginny answered, "she was talking like a maniac in her sleep last night."

"I was?" Hermione whipped her head around to face Ginny, who wore a mischievous and sly grin.

"Oh yes," Ginny chuckled, returning to her plate. A part of Hermione was curious about what she'd said, while another part was very glad Ginny wasn't disclosing it in front of everyone else in the room. At the far end of the table Draco arched an eyebrow at her. She scowled at him before turning back to her breakfast.

"Moony used to talk in his sleep," Sirius said, glancing at Remus beside him. He said it with an air of nonchalance, but something in his tone sounded more mischievous than Ginny.

"That I did," Remus conceded, meeting Hermione's eyes. For one strange moment she was reminded of her dream, and she was lost in the Forbidden Forest, desperately searching for the source of that haunting howl.

Just then the door to the dining room opened, hitting the wall behind it with a thump and revealing none other than Professor Snape.

"Don't worry, Black" Snape drawled bitingly, "I'm not here to share your morning tea with you."

Hermione looked across the table and saw that Sirius was openly glaring. Harry frowned from his place beside his godfather.

"I'm only here to deliver this," Snape pulled a stack of paper out of his robes and dropped it on the table near Ron, "and to impress a few rules upon the… _children_." He finished his sentence with a pointed look at Sirius. Hermione guessed that the only reason Sirius hadn't jumped up and hexed Snape yet was because Remus was gripping his arm tightly in warning.

"_Rules_?" Ron asked, looking almost scandalized.

"Yes, Weasley, there _are_ rules here," Snape murmured. He stepped closer to the long table, leaning over it and scanning the room with a menacing glare. "The wards around the Estate take up an acre total. None of you are allowed to venture past them, even if you find a way around my barriers, which you _won't_. You are permitted in the gardens and the greenhouse out back, but beware of the property lines. No going in the attic, no going in my potions lab, and no snooping around."

When Snape finished speaking he quickly turned and left the room. Everyone else in the room was displeased with the man's strict rules, but Hermione was beaming with excitement. Her mind was racing at the mention that he had a potions lab here. Would he ever let her use it to continue her research?

Ron interrupted her thoughts with an outraged exclamation. "He's _locked_ us in here?"

"They're wards, Ronald," she said by way of explanation, "Wards require barriers of some sort."

"I don't like it," Ron's tone was suspicious now, his eyes drifting to Draco.

"It's not my fault, Weasley," Draco responded, "he may be my Godfather, but that doesn't mean I helped him set up the fucking wards."

"He's your _Godfather_?" Fred asked, shocked.

"That's right terrible luck, Malfoy," George commented.

"I almost feel sorry for you," Fred continued.

Draco arched a brow at them.

"Fuck."

Hermione's eyes darted to Ron, preparing to chide him for his crude language, but she froze when she saw what he was looking at.

The stack of paper that Snape had dropped on the table was today's copy of the Daily Prophet. Ron was looking down at it slack-jawed. Ginny leaned over his shoulder, eyes scanning the page, her mouth falling open as well.

"What is it?" Harry asked, sitting up straighter and trying to get a look from across the table.

Ginny looked up from the newspaper, glancing between Hermione, Harry, and Ron with an expression that was quickly becoming amused. Hermione was really getting nervous now. "Let me see it," she said, reaching across and swiping the copy of the Prophet out from under them.

All eyes were on her as she inspected it.

Just below the fold on the front page was a large picture of Hermione wearing her graduation robes, happily embracing Harry, who was also clothed in his graduation clothes. Ron stood nearby in the background. The headline of the article, in bold, read,

_**HERMIONE GRANGER'S DESTRUCTIVE LOVE TRIANGLE**_

"Oh my god," Hermione breathed, dropping the paper on the table.

"What is it?" Harry leaned forward, finally getting a look at the article and blanching. Beside him, Remus and Sirius wore equal expressions of surprise. Tonks, who had just entered the room, let out a quiet laugh at the sight of it before sitting down.

"I guess since no one else wants to actually read it…" Tonks murmured, picking up the paper and beginning to read aloud.

"_Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, has had a wild history of past relationships, only topped by his best friend, the brains of the group, Hermione Granger. This past Thursday, at the annual Hogwarts graduation ceremony, Daily Prophet reporters saw first hand evidence of the Trio's tangled history of lovers and the wreckage it has caused in their friendship."_

"Oh my god," Hermione intoned, letting her head fall into her hands.

"_Granger (18) has oscillated between Potter (17) and Weasley (18) for the majority of their time spent at Hogwarts, pausing for a brief, passionate love affair when she was fifteen with Bulgarian Quidditch Legend, Viktor Krum, who was eighteen at the time."_

Hermione groaned. Fred, George, and Ginny were all guffawing with delighted laughter.

"_According to an inside source at Hogwarts, throughout her fifth, sixth, and seventh years, Granger carried out secret relationships with both Potter and Weasley, pitting the best friends against each other and destroying years of friendship, not to mention the boys' relationships with their own girlfriends, Ginny Weasley and Lavender Brown respectively._

"_At Hogwarts Graduation this past Thursday, Potter embraced Granger with all the looks of a young couple in love, Weasley looking on with a jealous and lovesick expression-"_

"Can you stop?" Ron asked, a sour frown on his face. Hermione smiled at him and apologetically.

Tonks put down the paper. "Well now we know it's not just the Ministry that's gone to the dogs."

"That was awful," Harry murmured, "it wasn't even halfway up to their usual standards of reporting."

"Merlin," Sirius mused, "you three have a more legendary romantic reputation than even _I_ did at Hogwarts."

Just then Mr. Weasley entered the room, a mug in his hand and a cheerful smile on his face. "Oh is that the Prophet? Severus said he'd drop it off." Mr. Weasley picked up the paper, looking it over before quickly placing it back down on the table. "I find myself suddenly not inclined to read the Prophet anymore," he mumbled, leaving the room.

Hermione met Remus' eyes across the table. Despite trying to give her a look of sympathy, she could see the amusement just behind his eyes. "It's not funny," she told him pointedly.

"C'mon, Hermione," Ginny interjected, "you have to admit that it's a little funny."

"Yeah," Fred agreed, "why would they think you'd ever be in love with our git of a brother?"

Ron elbowed Fred in the side.

"Hey, at least they didn't figure out what's _actually_ been going on," Ginny mumbled.

Hermione huffed, knowing that Ginny was referring to her Lycanthropy and the attacks by Lucius Malfoy. When she looked up at Remus again he wore a downcast expression.

"And what exactly _has_ been going on lately?" Draco asked, looking around the table at the various solemn expressions.

"You should know, Malfoy," Ron piped up, his tone suddenly quite spiteful, "your father's the one that caused it."

Draco furrowed his brow, glancing at Hermione and Ginny. "Why would they write about my father attacking them in the Prophet?"

"That's exactly it: they wouldn't," Hermione said shortly, standing up from the table and walking briskly from the room. Draco was getting too close to the true secret of what happened that night in the Forbidden Forest. If the others in this house weren't careful he would soon find out that Hermione hadn't come out of the attack completely unscathed.

* * *

Hermione ended up spending the next part of her morning perusing the library, excited to explore all the books and to clear her mind since that incident with the Daily Prophet. However, before she could get very far into her exploration, Ginny arrived, informing Hermione that Mrs. Weasley wanted the girls to help as they began going through the house and cleaning up.

Mrs. Weasley instructed most of the boys to get to work on the inside of the house, cleaning bathrooms, spare bedrooms, and the entry hall. Meanwhile, Mrs. Weasley, Hermione, and Ginny were to venture outside to the gardens.

"Wow," Ginny exhaled, stepping out the back door of the house and into the sunlight. Mrs. Weasley followed, and then Hermione.

The gardens were beautiful up close. She had only just gotten a peek of them from inside the house earlier that day, but they were truly amazing now that she was actually standing within them.

A murky pond dominated most of the southern edge of the garden, a large, hanging willow tree shading half of it. On the opposite side of the willow tree was where the garden began. There were plenty of spaces for various flowerbeds and shrubs, but most had withered and died long ago. Still, it left an impression of the great beauty it once contained.

The rose garden was the really impressive part. There was a large bed of red roses, springing up from the ground as if they were in full bloom. Hermione found this quite confusing, as all the other plants were dead and gone. Why had the roses survived?

Near the house, across from the rose garden, was the greenhouse. It also left the impression of a sort of annihilated beauty; dilapidated but with beautiful ferns, ivy, and shrubs still living inside and outside. Hermione found herself very inclined to venture into the greenhouse and see what it was like on the inside. Some part of her was certain that it would be even more beautiful if one was standing inside it, the sun streaming through the glass panes of the ceiling and walls, overgrown plants all around.

"Well," Mrs. Weasley sighed, placing her hands on her hips and staring out at the gardens, "it looks like we've got our work cut out for us."

Hermione, Ginny, and Mrs. Weasley spent most of the day working in the gardens, cleaning the place up and dealing with a gnome infestation near the pond. By about four o'clock, Hermione and Ginny were sent back inside with a bit of a suntan and an incumbent need to wash off all the dirt.

After bathing, Hermione decided that it was high time she found Professor Snape and asked him if he would help her continue the Wolfsbane research. As luck would have it, she ran into Snape on her way upstairs. The conversation was short and surprisingly painless. She asked him about the potions lab. He informed her that it was on the second floor, where he was staying. He wanted to be left alone and she promised she'd leave him alone if he allowed her to start working in his lab the following day. He agreed, stalking off to his room and leaving Hermione with a triumphant grin on her face.

As it grew later in the afternoon, Hermione found herself approached by none other than Remus while she was looking through the books in the library. She wasn't facing him when he entered the library, but she knew beyond a doubt that it was Remus because of the burst of tranquility she suddenly felt.

"Hello, Hermione," he greeted her, entering the library and looking around.

"Hi," she replied, feeling a sudden onset of shyness.

He was at her side now, looking at the bookshelves in a sort of pleased curiosity that she knew all too well. "Haven't seen you all day," he commented, eyes still roving over the books.

"Mrs. Weasley had Ginny and me work on the gardens with her." She said, "it's really nice out there. Have you seen it?"

He took his eyes off the books and looked down at her, "there's a view from my window, but I haven't been out yet. I was helping the others clean some bedrooms."

"Do you want me to show you?" she perked up. Sunset would be here any minute. They only had a short while until the gardens wouldn't be very visible anymore.

He considered the offer for a moment, and then nodded.

Hermione led him out to the gardens, grinning at his appreciative expression when they stepped outside. They began to walk toward the pond at the other end, the sun lowering in the sky behind them.

"Remus?" She gave him a sidelong glance as they walked, feeling her heart thump just a little faster at the realization that they were alone together and that she wasn't his student anymore.

"Hmm?" he looked at her.

"What are we going to do for the full moon?"

They were at the pond now. She stopped beside him, looking down at the tadpoles swimming at the surface of the murky water. "Albus said we could use the attic. It's been heavily reinforced with both wards and- well, we can reinforce it with furniture as well." A twisted look crossed his face as he said this.

Hermione nodded, swallowing a lump in her throat. "That sounds like it'll work."

"Sirius offered to join us- as Padfoot, that is. Do you mind?" He was watching her closely.

She smiled. "Not at all. I think that would be nice, actually."

"It's better when he's there," he mumbled, watching the swaying branches of the willow tree. She wondered if he was imagining the Whomping Willow.

They stood there in silence for a few moments before he spoke again. "How did it go with your parents yesterday?"

Hermione inhaled deeply.

He quickly amended, "It's alright if you don't want to talk about it."

"No," she shook her head, "I do. It's good to talk about things like this." He nodded and she continued, "they know that I'm trying to hide the severity the war from them, and that I'm keeping secrets. My mum kept telling me that I was only isolating them by not speaking candidly." Hermione frowned at the ground, digging the toe of her shoe into the dirt. "It felt awful not being able to tell them the truth, but I- I really couldn't do it. They'd be terrified and… _angry_ and… I couldn't do it."

Remus put his hands in his pockets, and she could almost feel the guilt resurface within him. "Your parents seemed like wonderful people," he finally said, surprising her.

"They are."

"I'm sorry you can't be with them."

"It's okay."

Silence descended upon them as the sun began to set into the horizon. Eventually, Hermione suggested that they look at the greenhouse. He agreed, falling into stride beside her.

The inside of the greenhouse had turned out to be very beautiful, especially after Hermione cleaned all the panes of glass and swept the floor. She watched Remus as he looked around the interior. He grinned, something reverent in the glint in his eye. "I like it here," he said.

The sun was setting deeper in the sky. Steams of orange and yellow mingled as they shone through the glass panes of the greenhouse. Hermione decided right then and there to do something very bold.

She turned to face him, inhaling deeply before she spoke. "I'm no longer your student."

He nodded slowly, staring off into the brightly colored horizon through the windows.

She didn't know quite what to say next, surprised by his calm reaction, so she settled on saying something she probably shouldn't have. "I had a dream about you last night."

"Oh?" he smiled, amusement written in the curve of his lips.

"Well, it was sort of about you… but… never mind." She was cursing her own awkwardness. Why was he making this so difficult for her?

He took a long, deep breath before turning around and inspecting the house through the panes of the greenhouse. Once he was finished with this inspection, he turned to face her. "I know what you want, Hermione," he said, quite suddenly, "and I think you need to consider the fact that things like this-" he gestured between them, "they don't often work out."

"What do you mean?" Her voice came out shakier than she wanted it to.

"I'm too old for you. I'm _years_ older than you, and relationships of any type between two people with this much of an age difference seldom end well. Not to mention the fact that I was your teacher…" He studied her intently, as if gauging her reaction. "Some young women… they go through a sort of phase…"

Hermione frowned, deciding right then and there that she wasn't going to let him finish that sentence. "Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I haven't thought about all that? _God_, Remus, do you think it hasn't kept me up at night- thinking about that?"

He picked up a hand to rub his temple. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate-"

"No," she stopped him quickly, "you don't get to talk anymore. It's my turn to talk, because I have a lot of things I want to say to you."

For a second she thought he might leave; walk out the greenhouse and back into the house, but he didn't. He stayed there, nodding in silence for her to continue.

"I've always been mature," she said, pushing down the quiver in her voice, "You know that just as much as anyone. I've always looked for companionship in older, more mature people. Sure, there's Harry, Ginny, and Ron, but do you see me having _any_ close friends my age other than them? For the past three years I've nearly been on a first name basis with most of my _teachers_. I'm mature. I'm not a girl going through a- a _phase_."

He took a breath as if to say something, but shut his mouth and decided against it.

Hermione was realizing that she'd been planning for this conversation – plotting out these arguments and stringing these words together in her mind – for weeks. She continued speaking, "Now, I've thought long and hard about this whole werewolf thing, and I'm sure you have as well. I've come to accept the fact that other people – _normal_ people – can never understand me on the level that another werewolf can. No one-" she swallowed dryly, praying that she didn't start crying, "_no one_ can understand me like you can. I know we have- I know there are issues because of how this all began." Her voice grew shaky as she remembered the fear and devastation from that first night in the Forbidden Forest, "but I also have so much faith in our ability to work through this, and to do it together."

He was regarding her with a thoughtful, albeit slightly unreadable expression.

"There's a war going on." She sighed, "I know there's a war going on and that things are different now, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be happy while we can. Just because there's death and violence and hatred doesn't mean we can't try to be happy. It doesn't mean we can't try to _make_ happiness."

He closed his eyes as Hermione said those last few words, his jaw clenching with some sort of influx of emotion. Finally, in the silence that stretched between them, he opened his eyes, looking at her with a terrible twist of sadness and relief and something else she couldn't pick out.

"Lily said almost those exact same words to James once," he explained, his deep green eyes boring into hers. It was now that Hermione recognized that other emotion swimming in his eyes as nostalgia. The sun had completely set now, leaving only his silhouette and traces of moonlight to outline his features.

"Harry's parents?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes," he nodded, "just before they got married James had some doubts." A forlorn and wistful smile grew on his lips. "She talked him out of it, of course. Lily always had a knack for getting through to people when they were being thick." His smile changed into something happier as he looked at Hermione. She felt like her chest was going to burst.

In that moment Hermione wanted more than anything to know Harry's mother. She wanted Lily and James to be alive, loving their son and bringing Remus and Sirius back form this darkness that must have set in with their deaths.

In Hermione's silence, Remus' expression had changed again. He was back to that look of doubt and sadness. "Hermione…" he began.

"No," she cut him off again, "I- I still have more to say."

With a quirk of his lips, he conceded.

"I know that the fact that I was your student and that I'm Harry's age bothers you. At the risk of sounding like Mrs. Weasley, it _should_ bother you." He smiled a little at that. She trekked on, "but just because our relationship is unusual or that it might not be viewed in the best light by some people doesn't mean we should cast all of it aside. You said it yourself: these are special circumstances. We've gone through too much together to care about the fact that I'm young or that you were my teacher. It's insignificant compared to- compared to _this_," she waved her hand between them, running out of words to say.

The greenhouse fell silent.

She watched his expression closely, with a sort of hopeful determination rising in her chest. He searched her face, a small smile once again gracing his lips. "I care about you very much, Hermione," he finally said, making her heart beat ten times faster with those words, "and although I will admit to having many worries and doubts… I think you're right."

Hermione didn't know what he thought was 'right', but she allowed herself to assume that he meant everything. A brilliant smile lit up her face.

"I think there's a lot more we still need to discuss," he swallowed, "but dinner is soon and it's getting cold out here." As if to prove this claim, he looked pointedly at the shivering of her shoulders. She was still only wearing a t-shirt. Remus continued, "I would- I'd very much like it if we could speak more later tonight."

"Okay," she said, trying to ignore the bubble of excitement rising up in her stomach. "When?"

"After the others have gone to bed," he muttered, "meet me in the library."

She couldn't resist another broad grin at these words. "Alright."

He nodded before turning and looking back towards the house. It was rather dark now. "It's about dinnertime," he observed after checking his wristwatch, "we should go back inside."

Together, the pair of lycanthropes strolled back to the house, neither speaking but both battling a hundred rising emotions at once. Luckily, their absence had gone unnoticed. Mrs. Weasley was calling the household for dinner. Ginny quickly pulled Hermione away to sit with her and the boys. Throughout all of dinner Hermione couldn't shake the thought that everything had changed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I played around with a little imagery in this. Let's blame it on all the classics I've been reading lately. Anyway, I hope everyone liked this chapter. I'm going to try to post the next one soon, and then you all can find out what happens when Remus and Hermione meet in the library…


	19. Your little heart

**XIX**

Your little heart

* * *

**Author's Note:** I think it's safe to say that we've all been waiting a long, _long_ time for this (yes, even me). So without further ado …

* * *

Hermione waited until Ginny was sound asleep before she got out of bed. She quickly and quietly pulled a jumper over her tank top before slipping out of their shared bedroom, Crookshanks' bright eyes watching her curiously as she left.

The house was silent, and Hermione had to make sure not to step on the creaking floorboard outside of Harry and Ron's room. She continued downstairs, a bubble of excited nervousness threatening to burst inside her chest as she neared the library.

_It's just Remus,_ she told herself, cracking opening the door and peeking inside.

He was sitting on the couch in the library, reading a book with his long legs propped up on the coffee table. There was a slow-burning fire in the fireplace. Its light flickered across the room in little bursts of soft light.

Remus looked up when he felt her presence, a small smile growing on his face.

"Hi," she murmured softly, closing the door behind her before progressing further into the room. It was drafty in this house at night; that was one of the first things Hermione had learned upon arriving here. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she'd worn a thicker jumper.

"How are you?" he asked, as if this were the most casual encounter in the world. As he spoke he moved over a little, making room for her on the couch.

She sat down, tucking her legs beneath her and smiling and the calming wave his presence inflicted upon her. "I'm well. You?"

He nodded, "I'm all right."

"What are you reading?" She leaned her head against the back of the couch, trying to get a look.

He held it up, "_The Great Gatsby_. I was surprised to find it in the library here, but it's a nice read."

She furrowed her brow, remembering how during her inspection of the library earlier she'd seen quite a few Muggle classics. It was rather odd to find Muggle books in the library of a Pureblood Estate. Perhaps Professor Snape put them here? Thinking of Professor Snape brought her down another train of thought, and she decided that it was about time she caught Remus up on some things.

"Professor Snape set up a lab upstairs, you know," she murmured. "He's said that I can continue with my research to work on improving the Wolfsbane. I think he may allow me to brew our Wolfsbane as well."

Remus looked intrigued, "that's awfully nice of him."

"It is," she agreed, her eyes trained on him as he looked into the fireplace, "I was wondering if you wanted to help."

His eyebrows pulled together in a self-deprecating sort of manner. "You know that I'm awful at Potions, right?"

She let out a soft laugh, tucking her legs beneath her further and turning so that she was propped sideways against the back of the couch, fully facing him. He was still angled towards the fire, but his head was turned to look at her. "You've been a werewolf longer than I have, so I think you understand the condition better than me. I figured that there's still plenty of things you can help with- only if you want to, of course."

"I'd love to help," he grinned at her.

"Great," she said, a brilliant smile on her own face.

He only nodded in response, his expression suddenly clouded over as he watched her.

Hermione was extremely aware of his proximity now. He was close to her, but there was still a good foot between her knees – pulled up on the couch and pointed in his direction – and the side of his hip. They were both looking at each other closely, and Hermione remembered something he'd said earlier that afternoon.

"_I care about you very much, Hermione._"

These words resounded in her mind as Remus leaned in. The space between them grew smaller, and all of a sudden his hand came up to cup the side of her face. It was an awkward angle; with her sitting sideways on the couch and him twisting from his position sitting straight. However, she found that she didn't care about this, because soon his face was right in front of her and the warmth of his hand was pressing into her cheek and jaw. He hesitated for just a second – giving her time to back away, she figured – before closing the final centimeters of distance between them.

It was not the first time they had kissed, but it was the first time _he_ had kissed _her_. The other times had been awkward and messy because she was his student and he her teacher; because their first kiss was shared in those hasty, panicked moments just before moonrise on a full moon; because and their second kiss was shared when she was half-drunk and he was feeling the effects of an oncoming full moon.

This time was different. There was no impending full moon tonight – it was more than a week away – and there was no student-teacher relationship here. That alone made this kiss wonderful.

His lips met hers tentatively at first. His mouth was soft and warm. In contrast, she could feel the slight prickling of stubble on his chin and above his lips. She basked in the sensations, allowing Remus to kiss her as he pleased. After a few seconds of this hesitant and gentle press of his lips to hers, it grew into something more. She let out a deep sigh against his lips. Her mouth yielded to his, her lips parting and his tongue pressing in. Remus was focused and determined in how he kissed her.

It was invigorating. She felt more alive than ever, far more than the two other times when they'd kissed. This kiss was so divine, and it made the blood pumping through her veins feel warm and buzzing with life.

His hand shifted on her jaw, moving further back and tangling in the hair at the nape of her neck and behind her ear. She shifted closer to him, scooting forward on the couch so that her knees just barely bumped against the left side of his hip. He was twisted to face her in a way that she was certainly uncomfortable for him, so she began to shift more, putting a hand on either of his shoulders. In what was arguably one of the braver things she'd ever done, she sat forward on her knees and then moved to straddle his lap.

If he was surprised by this move, he didn't show it. His only action was to kiss her with a little more energy, placing his free hand on the curve of her waist and letting out a hum of approval. She was settled on his lap now, and the position was divine. She could hear the soft whistle of the wind outside. She could feel his quick heartbeat with her hand just above his chest. She could smell more acutely than ever his distinct scent; a subtle pine-scented cologne mixed with the lemon of his shampoo and his natural scent – something she couldn't describe but could easily associate with him.

Hermione was so involved in this kiss and her study of Remus that she barely felt him pulling away until it was too late. He detached his lips from hers and looked into her eyes. "I have to apologize to you," he said, pulling back further.

Her response sounded breathy and uncontrolled, "what do you possibly need to apologize for?" She was itching to lean in and continue their kiss, but something in the sorrowful look in his eye told her that this was too important.

Remus reached for the hand, which had been previously resting on his shoulder. He traced the pad of his index finger across the back of her hand, then under to her palm. She sat back on his lap, her knees resting on either side of his legs, her free hand falling to her thigh. His eyes were still trained on hers. "I haven't been very sensitive to your feelings… lately. I'm sorry about the things I said and did before."

She gulped, watching his face with an intense scrutiny and worry. Although she wasn't quite sure, she could guess that he was remembering the times she'd kissed him before, and how he'd pushed her away. "You don't have to apologize for that."

He continued tracing his finger against the skin of her hand. "I want to, though," his voice was stronger now, and it was surprisingly reassuring, "you don't deserve to be treated the way I treated you. We should have talked about what was happening, but I just tried to ignore it and push you away." He was being very vague, as if it would hurt him to mention specific things.

"Thank you," she murmured, realizing that she needed this apology more that she could admit.

Remus' mouth closed, his lips twisting as if they were trying to work around some words that he couldn't quite shape the way he wanted to. At last he sat up further on the couch. "There are still a lot of things we need to talk about," he maintained.

Hermione nodded warily, "yes," she paused, feeling a great swell of emotion clenching her chest as she looked at him, "but there will be time to talk about those things later."

The dim light of the moon and the flickering of the fire made him look more handsome than ever. She wanted to kiss him again and feel that light brushing of stubble against her lips and face. She wanted _him_ to kiss _her_ again, if only to feel the desire he'd conveyed moments ago by initiating the contact.

His eyes were suddenly downcast. "We have to keep this a secret, Hermione," he croaked, "the others- they can't find out about this. Especially so soon after Graduation."

She nodded in solemn understanding. He was right; if anyone else found out it would be horrible. Remus would be accused of taking advantage of her while she was his student, maybe he'd even be kicked out of the Estate, forced to live somewhere faraway from her. She couldn't bear the idea. "But one day we'll tell them," She quavered, thinking of Harry and Ron, "right?"

For a moment she thought that she'd scared him off by being so sure that this would last for that long. However, his warm smile eventually came. "Of course." The words resounded in her mind for seconds- minutes after he'd spoken them.

She kissed him again, shifting forward and pressing her whole body closer. He kissed back, matching her intensity, his hands coming to wrap around her back and her waist. Hermione couldn't hold back her moan then, enraptured by the feeling of him all around, encasing her in warmth and sending a shiver from her lips down to the tips of her toes.

He pulled away again, and _damn it,_ why did he keep interrupting this? She tried to resist it by following his mouth and continuing to press into him. It was only when his hands came up to her shoulders and pushed her backwards that she was actually forced away.

"We need to stop," he rasped.

"Why?" she retorted impatiently, trying to control her quick breathing.

"It shouldn't- we shouldn't go further than this tonight."

"Why not?" she mumbled, wetting her lips in anticipation to kiss him again.

"Hermione," he let out a long, shuddering breath, shifting on the couch so he could sit up more, "I already feel a little bit like I'm taking advantage of you. Give me this. At least I can respect myself a little more knowing that I didn't take your virginity on our first night together."

She frowned, sliding off his lap and falling onto the cushions of the couch where she'd been sitting before. Part of her was irked that he was so sure she was a virgin. She _was_ a virgin, of course, but that wasn't the point. "It's hardly our first night together," she grumbled factually, considering the two other times they'd kissed and the times she'd slept in his rooms, "but I'll give you that."

He sat back against the couch at her words, shifting in discomfort a moment later until he found a different position. Hermione resisted the urge to grin in amusement.

"You may find that you're glad," he said at last, "to have taken a little more time getting to know me before jumping into sex."

Hermione raised her brow indignantly, but conceded with a reluctant nod. A second later, she stood from the couch, moving toward the bookshelf that it faced. She could feel Remus' eyes on her as she reached up and picked a book off the shelf. It was Bronte, _Wuthering Heights_. She'd spotted it earlier and pledged to read it soon.

When she arrived back at the couch Remus had already picked up his book off the end table. She sat back in her earlier position, sideways on the couch facing him. She was about to fold her legs under her again, but he reached for one of her ankles before she could. Gently, he pulled her feet onto his lap, allowing them to rest there as he read. Hermione smiled, leaning back against the side of the couch and opening the book in front of her. His left hand still rested on her ankle, just a few inches below where the scar from her bite mark sat, covered by her pants.

They read like that for a long time. It was very late and Hermione was dozing off when Remus pulled her feet off his lap and lightly shook her shoulder. "Hermione," he whispered, "come on, you have to go to bed."

She let out a groan of annoyance, burrowing into the couch drowsily.

He shook her shoulder again. "Ginny will wake up in the morning and be suspicious if you don't go back to your room. Come on, Hermione."

She sat up, placing her book on the end table and finally standing up from the couch. "Ginny figures everything out anyway, Remus," she told him groggily, standing up and making her way towards the door.

With that, Hermione slipped out of the room, leaving Remus alone to set off for his own bed. If she had only turned around and taken one last look she would have spotted the incredibly fond smile on his face, along with the bright, happy gleam in his eyes.

* * *

**Author's note:** This was a shorter one, but I hope you all will understand why it fit to end it here. Shout out to the wonderful LJ Summers for reviewing nearly every single chapter (wow!) and prose . titute for leaving me some of the most amazing, flattering reviews I've received in a long while. You guys – all of you- even those who don't review – are so very wonderful and I'm tremendously grateful that you're here.


	20. While the moon comes out of the sea

**XX**

While the moon comes out of the sea

* * *

On the morning of her third day at the Prince Estate, Hermione woke up with a broad and interminable smile on her face.

"What's got you so happy?" Ginny mumbled groggily, getting out of bed and shrugging some clothes on.

"I'll explain later," Hermione said, rushing away so that she could grab some breakfast before going to Snape's lab.

She was surprised to find Remus standing in the kitchen, making tea for Tonks and himself. Tonks was perched on the counter, her hair a light shade of purple this morning. Hermione felt a twinge of something strange at the sight of Remus and Tonks together, but she cast it aside when Remus smiled at her.

"Morning," he said, glancing up at her through his eyelashes as he faced the kettle, "tea?"

Hermione nodded, hoping that she hadn't blushed at the sudden onslaught of memories from last night that turned up in her mind.

"Wotcher, Hermione," Tonks said, sleep heavy in her voice. Hermione greeted Tonks, happy that her voice came out normally.

Remus soon handed her a mug of tea, grabbing some for himself and Tonks as well. Tonks left the room after that, winking at Hermione on her way out. Hermione furrowed her brow. It was almost like Tonks _knew_…

She cast this thought out of her mind, settling on Remus. "I'm going to see if Snape will let me get started. Do you want to come?"

He raised a brow at her. "You wake up fast. I'll be there in a few minutes, just let me clean up here before Molly throws a fit."

She made her way out of the kitchen, smiling the whole way upstairs to Professor Snape's rooms. The Potions Master had informed her after dinner the previous night that she should look for the room with the paint-chipped door, _not_ his bedroom. She conceded that it would indeed be quite awkward if she was spotted by someone else – namely Draco or his mother, who had rooms in this wing – knocking on Snape's bedroom door.

She found the door he'd mentioned, and a moment later Snape, fully clothed in his usual excessively buttoned robes, let her in. "I have something to attend to for a moment," he said sternly, "you may look around, but don't get yourself killed."

"Wow, Professor," she chirped back with fake awe, "it almost sounds like you care."

He narrowed his eyes at her momentarily before sweeping out of the room.

Remus soon joined her, and together they began to go over everything she'd done so far, flipping through a journal she kept and discussing various aspects of the project. They were sitting closely together in front of one of the three cauldrons in the room when Snape entered again. "What is _he_ doing here?" Snape asked, addressing Hermione.

"I asked Remus to help," she responded, as if the answer was obvious.

Snape grumbled something about Gryffindors overstaying their welcome before he proceeded to the cauldron furthest away from Remus and Hermione, attending to slowly simmering green colored potion. He continued working on his potion in silence for a long time while Remus and Hermione went over everything and then proceeded to pick up where she'd left off at Hogwarts – with the blood cross-referencing.

"I can't believe he let you draw his blood," Remus whispered, low enough so that only they could hear. Snape was currently chopping something loudly on the other side of the room.

She shrugged, "I think he's taken a liking to me. Despite it going against his principle of hating all Gryffindors, of course."

Remus cast Professor Snape a strange look, not saying anything more on the subject.

By the end of the day some significant progress had been made on Hermione's Wolfsbane project. In addition, another matter of importance was decided upon: Remus and Hermione were going to start using the greenhouse outside to grow some necessary ingredients. Snape didn't have everything Hermione needed, and if she kept using his stores he would run out very soon. Thus, they would need to start producing more ingredients in the greenhouse.

"I have to admit I'm impressed," Remus mumbled once they were out of Snape's lab.

"And why is that?" Hermione chimed, descending the staircase beside him. She wanted to rejoin the boys and Ginny in the drawing room for a little while before dinner.

He stopped, facing her in the middle of the staircase, a suddenly serious expression on his face. "I think you're really onto something with this research," he said, "before I wasn't sure, but after today… I think it might be possible."

A broad grin broke across her face. She didn't know how much she'd wanted Remus' faith in this before, but she recognized it now as the sudden feeling of validation that rose up in her chest. Later she would be frightened by how much she had come to rely on Remus' feelings, but for now she was only happy.

"Oi, you two! Break it up!"

Sirius' voice from the bottom of the stairs made them both jump apart. The Animagus let out a loud bark of laughter. Hermione realized that she and Remus had been frozen in the middle of the staircase, staring at each other happily.

Together, Hermione and Remus descended the rest of the stairs. Hermione ignored a smug look from Sirius. The man could really be irritating sometimes.

_Still, better Sirius found us than someone else,_ she thought, imagining the look they'd have gotten if it were Harry or Ron standing at the bottom of the staircase.

"I'm going to go to the drawing room," Hermione said, uselessly pointing down the hallway.

Remus nodded, but before he could say anything Sirius was speaking. "You go right ahead and spend some time with your friends, Hermione. Moony and I have some talking to do." Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus' shoulders, leading him away.

"Padfoot…" Remus murmured warningly.

Sirius just chuckled, pulling him to the library. Hermione set off for the drawing room, wondering not for the first time what Sirius and Remus had been like when they were teenagers.

* * *

The moon had risen just above the line of the horizon, hanging low and bright in the sky. Hermione was lying on her side, staring out the window of her shared bedroom with Ginny and trying to decide what she was going to do.

She and Remus hadn't made any plans to meet each other again. She wondered if he didn't want to see her tonight. It would make sense; he was certainly entitled to want some time alone after they'd spent nearly the past twenty-four hours together. Maybe he wanted space. There was also another possibility that made Hermione's stomach turn with queasiness: maybe he just didn't want her anymore.

As Hermione lay there in her bed, staring out the window, she could imagine Remus' thoughts more clearly than anything in her mind. Maybe he realized that he didn't like her all that much after spending one evening snogging in the library. Maybe she was bad at snogging. Maybe he realized that she was annoying and naïve and too young for him.

_No_.

He'd looked at her so many times today with fondness in his eyes. He wanted her, he _must_ have. It was possible that he hadn't asked her to meet him again simply because he wanted her to instigate their meeting next time, or perhaps there hadn't been a good opportunity to approach her.

Hermione realized right then and there that she wouldn't sleep tonight unless she found out. She got out of bed quietly, checking to make sure Ginny was asleep before creeping outside their room and downstairs toward where she knew Remus' bedroom to be.

His door was cracked open, and she was glad that she didn't have to knock and risk waking up Sirius or Tonks. She eased the door open, whispering a quiet "Remus?" to alert him to her presence.

He was sitting at an old desk, watching the opening door with a hint of a smile on his face. There was a piece of parchment in front of him and a quill in his hand. Hermione hadn't considered the possibility that maybe he'd not asked to see each other because he had to get work done.

"Oh," she murmured, "I can leave if you're busy."

"No," he shook his head, smiling in a way that made her heart flutter, "come in."

She stepped further into the room, shutting the door behind her with a loud _click_. When she turned back to look at him he was leaning against the desk with his elbow, head propped up on his hand. "I'm glad you came," he said.

She stood still by the doorway. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me tonight." Her voice was surprisingly steady.

"Mmm," he hummed, setting down his quill and turning in his chair so that he faced her more, "I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me either."

"Really?" she smiled, "well I definitely wanted to see you."

"I wanted to see you too." His words made her feel the same bubble of nervous excitement rise in her. She was alone with Remus in his _bedroom_.

Her eyes fell on the parchment in front of him. "What were you working on?"

He wrinkled his nose, looking down at the parchment. "Albus asked Tonks, Sirius, Severus, and I to start thinking of methods of dueling that we could teach you and the others. He wants Harry to be better prepared for situations that require advanced dueling. It would never hurt if you and the others got some practice in too."

"That sounds like a great idea," she exclaimed, walking closer and skimming over the list. There were several spells and techniques that she'd never heard of.

"I'm glad you think so." She felt his arm come out to wrap around her waist loosely. In his seated position, his head barely came up to the middle of her chest.

Hermione pointed out a few terms on the paper, allowing him to explain them briefly. By the end of the list she was worrying her lower lip between her teeth, a slight frown on her face.

"What's wrong?"

She met Remus' gaze, furrowing her brow. "It's just," she paused, taking a deep breath, "I'd almost forgotten how pertinent this war is. It's not like I could ever _forget_ about the war and what it- what it's done to me. But…"

"It just left your mind for a little while," he spoke up, an earnest and caring look in his eyes, "and you feel guilty."

She nodded, mutely.

"I forgot about it too," he conceded, tightening his grip around her waist, "but it's okay, Hermione. As long as we do things like this," he pointed on the list before them, "and keep up at the Order meetings we're still working towards ending the war."

"We might die."

She didn't know why she'd decided to voice those words, but now they were there; floating out in the air between Remus and herself, making her throat feel constricted and tight.

"Yes," he affirmed simply, standing up from his seat beside her. Suddenly, his other arm was coming to wrap around her shoulders, and she was being pulled into a warm, tight embrace. The calmness shared between them crested into a great wave, washing over Hermione and leaving her with the thought in her mind that she could stay here with him forever. She gripped his shoulders with her arms, trying to pull him closer and let him know what this meant to her.

"It'll be okay, Hermione," he muttered into her wild mass of hair at the nape of her neck. "We've just got to keep working hard and thinking about what we can do to survive. Okay?"

She nodded against his chest, taking deep breaths, inhaling his scent.

It was only another moment more before he was dropping his arms and stepping back. He looked towards his bed with an expression of uncomfortable anxiety.

"We can just sit," Hermione suggested, looking at his bed.

He nodded, and together they sat, side by side, on the edge of his bed. Soon, however, Hermione found it uncomfortable sitting on the edge, and she scooted backwards, leaning against the headboard and patting the place beside her. Remus followed until they were sitting side-by-side, legs stretched out in front of them.

"How do you think everyone's doing here?" he asked conversationally.

She assumed that he meant Harry, Ron, and Ginny and how they were dealing with being at the Estate. "They're alright. I know none of them like Professor Snape being here… or Draco. They are warming up to him a little, but I don't think that will ever be a comfortable relationship."

Remus nodded in contemplation.

"Ron wants to play Quidditch out in the gardens. He asked me to ask Professor Snape if they can."

"I doubt Severus would ever say yes to that," Remus scoffed.

"I don't think I even want him to say yes," she admitted, "Quidditch can be rather dangerous. Not to mention the rows it always causes."

A nostalgic look crossed Remus' face. When she asked him what he was thinking about he began to tell her a story about the summer between his sixth and seventh year at Hogwarts. "James and Sirius developed a colossal Quidditch rivalry after the position for team captain was left open. The whole summer they were practicing together at James' house, trying to pull Peter and myself into it as well, have us judge who was better so one of them could become captain when school started again."

"Which of them became captain?" she turned her head, leaning back at the headboard as she watched him.

He laughed. "Neither. Another boy in our year got it. James and Sirius still didn't talk to each other for weeks."

Hermione chuckled, leaning her head against his shoulder as they fell into a comfortable silence. She tried not to think about the fact that this was Remus' _bed_ and she was lying on top of it with him, but the idea kept coming up.

Eventually he began to pull her towards him more, wrapping one hand around her waist. Hermione rested her head on his chest, allowing one of his hands to tangle in her loose, curly hair. She could feel her own body's rigidity, and she knew that he could feel it too.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his tone almost ashamed. "Do you want me to stop?"

She shook her head, enjoying the feeling of his fingers working their way through her hair. "Sorry," she finally exhaled, pressing her face against his chest, "it's just- you make me nervous." She could feel the rise and fall of his abdomen; hear his heartbeat through the fabric of his shirt.

A rumbling laugh started deep within his chest. "You make me nervous too," he admitted, and there was something in his voice that made her grow a hundred times fonder of him.

"Really?" She murmured, picking up her head and meeting his gaze.

He nodded, his lips curving up in the faintest hint of a smile. "Of course. You- you're amazing, Hermione." His hand continued running through her hair, "I don't see why you wouldn't make any man in his right mind a little nervous."

She kissed him, pressing her lips hard against his and winding her arms around his shoulders and neck. He responded instantly, molding his mouth against hers and placing his hands on her hips. Hesitantly, as if asking for permission, he pulled her hips so she was straddling him again, just like last night. She let out a small laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asked between kisses, slanting his lips away from her mouth, down to her jaw and neck. If Hermione had been laughing before, she wasn't now. The feeling of his lips and tongue ghosting over her pulse point and the ridge of her jaw was enough to have her gasping.

"You seem to like this position," she mumbled, answering his question.

"Mmm," he hummed against her skin, "that's because I _do_ like it."

Hermione chuckled. Her laughter turned into a soft moan a second later when Remus nipped on the skin just below her ear. He pulled away just a moment later, grinning wryly.

"My turn," Hermione piped up, proceeding to pepper kisses down from the corner of his mouth to his neck and collarbone. One of his hands began to rub up and down her back, his head falling against the headboard with a quiet, relaxed sigh. For a moment, as Hermione worked languid open-mouthed kisses over his prickly jaw, he looked as if he could have been asleep. The only indication of his consciousness was the way he would tighten his grip on her waist every time she dared swipe her tongue across his skin. Otherwise, he looked to be the picture of relaxation and ease.

Her hands found their way to the hem of his shirt, flitting under the fabric and lightly tapping against the warm skin beneath it. When her hands gripped the shirt and started to hesitantly pull upwards, Remus' eyes jerked open.

In that split second he looked almost… _panicked_. Hermione stopped, but he quickly shook his head, mastering his expression and nodding for her to continue removing his shirt.

After that odd moment, she did continue, leaning in to place a few long, drawn out kisses on his neck and mouth as she lifted his shirt. When it was just above his chest, she pulled away. Remus lifted his arms, allowing her to completely remove it. She could feel his anxiety in the way he quickly kissed her after the shirt was discarded to the floor. The kiss was filled with a vulnerable sort of desire, and she was a bit confused by it.

She understood when she finally tore her eyes away from his face and down to his body. Despite sharing many full moons with Remus, Hermione had never taken the time or the effort to look at his body. It had been a respectful, silent agreement between them, but now things were different.

He had a lean, wiry form. His height and the fact that he'd never been able to gain more than a few pounds of weight contributed to this build.

But the thing that stood out about his body was the scattering of spider web scars. Hermione swallowed dryly at the sight of the age-old wounds. This was why he'd looked panicked. This was why his expression now was one of shameful self-pity.

Hermione shifted forward in his lap, wrapping her arms around him and pulling herself tightly against his chest. "You have no reason to be ashamed of this in front of me, Remus."

He inhaled, his whole body and hers rising with the movement, and then exhaled slowly, bringing them back down. "I'm old, Hermione," he rasped out, "old and ugly and scarred. You deserve someone whole."

She scoffed, picking up her head and looking directly into his beautiful green eyes. "Haven't we gone over this already? I want you because you're the _only_ person who can understand who I am now. I don't care about this," she gestured vaguely at his chest, "and I have my scars too. After everything I've gone through, do you think I care about how you look?"

His mouth turned up into a solemn half-smile. Hermione traced one finger along a few of the more prominent scars on his chest. "Are they from when you were younger?" she found herself asking.

He nodded. "Most of them are from before I had the Wolfsbane."

He'd lived through not having the Wolfsbane potion for _years_ before even knowing what it was like to control his mind. Hermione felt a terrible swell of guilt. Here she was, thinking that her transformations were bad. She'd never once experienced a full moon without the potion!

"Don't look so upset," said Remus. His hand had found her face, cupping her cheek and pulling her towards him. This kiss was sweet and candid.

When the kiss ended Hermione continued her inspection of his chest. Her fingers traced scar after scar, skimming down towards his lower stomach and back up to his collarbone. He watched her the whole time, his eyes following her just like he'd done so many other times as a wolf on the full moon. She finished her ministrations with a soft kiss planted on a thick white scar on his collarbone.

When she pulled back his hands were at the hem of her own shirt. She smiled, allowing him to pull it upwards just as she'd done to him. His hands were warm as they brushed against the skin of her stomach and sides. Once her shirt was dropped on the ground beside his bed, she brought her hands away from his chest, reaching around to unclasp her bra. That fell to the floor as well. Hermione felt a very strong urge to cover herself with her arms, but she resisted; there was a point she needed to prove to Remus.

His eyes roved over her body. She could feel the blush blooming on her chest and neck. His eyes grew darker with something she could only – quite giddily – describe as lust. It made a warm swirl of desire and tension bloom in her gut.

His eyes stopped suddenly when they found her shoulder. There, just under where her bra strap would go was the beginning of a long white scar that stretched down over her back for several inches. He swallowed visibly, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "Turn around," he intoned, voice breaking just the tiniest bit.

Hermione didn't want that awful look in his eyes to get worse, but she turned around anyway. Slowly, she scooted off his lap, turning and sitting straight up on the bed, her back facing him.

He could now fully see the extent of the scar he'd left behind. Hermione felt a sickening ache in her chest as she imagined his expression. The desire that had been rising within her only moments before was now long forgotten to this terrible sadness that radiated off of him.

It was am achingly long pause before he did anything. She felt the bed beneath her shift ever so slightly, and then the warm sensation of his fingertips as they brushed her hair off to the other side, over her shoulder. Then, the same hand pressed flat against her shoulder blade. That was where the worst of the scar was. Hermione sat there, breathing slowly, waiting for him to move his hand away or do something else.

At last, his hand lifted from her back, but Hermione was truly surprised to find that his mouth had replaced it. She shivered but soon found herself leaning back into him. The first kiss was placed just between her neck and her shoulder, and then the next closer to where the scar began, and the third where she knew the tip of the scar was located. He continued on, kissing lightly along that small strip of raised scar tissue, his movements reverent and apologetic.

Her eyelids were drooping. Remus was taking his time. It wasn't that she minded this, but she had anticipated things to go a lot differently tonight. For one thing, she'd wanted both of them to get completely naked. Now, though, it didn't feel right. Remus was sad and he needed time to deal with the physical evidence of what he'd done to her so many months ago. She would give him all the time he needed.

"You're tired," he observed, feeling her languor.

She nodded. "I haven't been sleeping much lately." Remus was partly to blame for that fact, of course.

He sighed, his breath ghosting across the skin of her shoulder and neck. "Let's go to sleep," he said at last.

Hermione turned around so she could face him, crossing her arms over her chest and suddenly feeling uncomfortable with her half-dressed state. Remus noticed, reaching for her discarded t-shirt and handing it to her. She slipped it on.

They sat on Remus' bed for a long moment, looking at each other in silence, each contemplating their own thoughts. Hermione wasn't sure if he wanted her to leave and go back to her rooms. She certainly didn't want that. A hazy memory came back to her of the night Ginny was attacked by Lucius Malfoy. After she'd explained the whole story of her Lycanthropy to everyone Remus had let her stay with him, lying together on the couch. It had been the best night in months.

"Can I stay here?" she asked, her voice sounding more tentative than she would like it to, "Just to sleep for a little while. I'll go back to my room before anyone wakes up."

His pensive expression turned into something happier. "Of course you can."

Remus proceeded to pull back the duvet and sheets of the bed, allowing Hermione to slip under them before getting in himself. She smiled when she felt his body move closer to her, his arms coming to wrap around her waist. "Is- is this okay?" he asked, hesitation heavy in his tone.

Hermione nodded hastily, humming her silent approval. Remus bloody Lupin was _spooning_ her! She felt his chest pressed against her back, the weight of his arm hanging over her waist. She couldn't wait to tell Ginny about this.

After a few seconds of lying there, trying to settle down her loud, rambunctious thoughts, she felt the softest kiss pressed against her shoulder. It was the opposite shoulder to the one he'd been paying attention to before – this one had no scar. His lips pressed against her skin briefly before pulling away. "Goodnight," he whispered, before the lights in the bedroom went out and he fell silent.

* * *

**Author's Not**e: My excuse for not posting this chapter several days ago is that boys suck, at least in my life right now. I've recently learned that guys can be pretty big assholes sometimes. It's hard to be super romantic and finish a chapter like this when I'm so mad at the male gender. Anyways, I'm over it, and I've decided that for the rest of this story I'm going to try to get an update out every six or seven days. Sound good?

If you guys are looking for some other Remus/Hermione to read between my updates, you should check out Get Busy Living by bluecurls (Sirius/Hermione/Remus) or The Subtle War by lagenerale (marriage law). They're both _such_ good reads.


	21. Immortal Roses and Seduction Plots

**XXI**

Immortal Roses and Seduction Plots

**Warning:** It get's somewhat M-rated in this chapter.

* * *

Hermione and Remus quickly moved into a schedule of many hours spent working on the Wolfsbane research, both in Snape's lab and in the newly renovated greenhouse. However, on Hermione's first day of true work in the greenhouse, she found herself delayed by none other than Narcissa Malfoy.

It was almost nine in the morning. Remus and Hermione were making their way through the gardens and towards the greenhouse when Hermione spotted a figure coming from the small pond. As the figure drew closer, Remus confirmed her suspicions of who it was.

"Is that Narcissa?" He squinted at the approaching woman, "I'm surprised she's left her room. Haven't seen her in days."

Hermione shushed him just before the woman stood before them. "Hello, Mrs. Malfoy," she smiled politely.

"Hello," the woman nodded at both Hermione and Remus, and it was only then that Hermione noticed how close she was standing to Remus. She took a half step away from him. "Please, call me Narcissa," she said, "I find that my surname is no longer a very pleasant title to be reminded of."

Hermione belatedly realized how awful she must have felt to have everyone calling her Mrs. Malfoy, especially after what seemed like a nasty fight between her husband and herself, at least according to Draco. "Of course- uh- Narcissa."

Surprisingly enough, Narcissa proved that she could actually show a genial and not-snobbish smile. "Thank-you," she said. "Miss Granger, may I speak with you for a moment?" She motioned behind her, towards the garden path.

Hermione's brows pulled together. "Oh. Of course you may." She turned to Remus, who looked blatantly suspicious. Yesterday while they were working in the lab he'd told her about how Narcissa was a few years ahead of him at Hogwarts. Back then there was apparently no love lost between the Marauders and Narcissa, especially once she became betrothed to Lucius Malfoy. "Go onto the greenhouse without me, Remus," Hermione said, "I'll be along."

With a slightly wary nod at Hermione and Narcissa, Remus retreated. Hermione soon fell into pace beside Draco's mother, very curious to know what this conversation would entail.

They proceeded through the gardens, passing the roses as they went. Narcissa must have noticed Hermione's inspection of the roses, because she spoke up then. "They're called Immortal Roses," she said, eyeing the blossoming flowers.

"Really?" Hermione furrowed her brow, "I don't think I've ever heard of them before."

"It's an old Pureblood tradition," the woman explained, "the roses symbolize the purity and longevity of the family that cultivates them."

Hermione was beginning to lose some of her appreciation of the roses. Before they had seemed quite beautiful to her, but now she didn't know that she could admire them any longer. "

They are supposed to live forever," Narcissa continued, "hence the name." She reached out and lightly touched one of the flowers before speaking again, "their immortality symbolizes the immortality of the family bloodlines. Once the bloodlines die out, the roses will wilt and die."

"Is Professor Snape the last of his bloodline?"

Narcissa nodded. "If Severus does not produce an heir, when he dies these roses will do the same."

Hermione must have had a sort of sour expression as she watched the flowers flitter in the breeze, because Narcissa chuckled. "I can see that you don't appreciate the Immortal Roses very much. You might find it interesting to note that they have many useful qualities as ingredients for healing or restorative potions, especially fertility potions."

She crinkled her nose even more. It was useful information, but she really did not care much for these roses anymore. She turned her gaze to the woman beside her. "What did you want to speak to me about?"

Narcissa sighed, "I wanted to thank you, Miss Granger."

"You can call me Hermione," she interjected quickly.

"Hermione," Narcissa corrected, "I wanted to thank you for all you've done for Draco and myself." The pair began walking past the rose garden, further into the decayed flowerbeds surrounding the roses. "I know that Draco spoke to you, but I felt that I ought to do the same. Albus informed me of the role you've played in Draco's life over the past few months, and I must tell you how grateful I am for that."

Frankly, Hermione was shocked by this admission. She couldn't help but mutter a quiet, "really?"

Narcissa nodded. "Draco has always taken after his father, and it has always pained me greatly. Lucius is not a good person in the slightest degree," she paused, looking at Hermione as if inspecting her closely. "I'm sorry for what my husband did to you and Miss Weasley," she said at last.

"Thank you," Hermione stuttered out. "I appreciate you saying that."

"Well," the woman sighed, "I only hope that Lucius hasn't permanently harmed anyone, though I fear he may have already caused quite a few problems in many of our lives."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. Did Narcissa know about her Lycanthropy? Was it possible that Dumbledore told her? Or that _Lucius_ knew? Draco's mother definitely seemed insightful, but Hermione didn't think anyone had told her about the infection, and she couldn't imagine the woman figuring it out. Hermione straightened her shoulders, "Lucius failed in his attempt to kill me, and although he has caused me and my friends many problems, some good things have come of it as well."

A secretive, rather Slytherin-looking smile crossed Narcissa's face. "Yes," she muttered slyly, glancing back towards the greenhouse, "I can see that."

Hermione was sure she was blushing. Her gaze traveled to the greenhouse. Remus' shadow could be seen through the panes of glass, moving around the small space.

Narcissa said goodbye not long after that, leaving a flustered Hermione to return to the greenhouses and Remus.

"What did she want to talk to you about?" Remus asked, inspecting a vine of ivy that had infested one wall of the greenhouse.

"Nothing important," Hermione mused, pulling a piece of parchment from her pocket and placing it on the table. "She just wanted to thank me."

Remus nodded in acceptance. Hermione referred to the parchment. "Alright," she muttered, pouring over her list of plants and herbs, "the first thing I think we ought to attend to is the ginger. Then we can work on planting the fluxweed…"

Together, Remus and Hermione proceeded in their cultivation of the greenhouse, enjoying each other's company above all else.

* * *

When the evening came around Hermione ended up sitting in a corner of the drawing room, reading. Around her, the drawing room was full of noise and movement, most of which Hermione was able to drown out. The thing that she wasn't able to drown out, however, was an approaching redhead with a determined glint in her eye.

Ginny plopped down onto the couch beside Hermione, a smirk on her face and something suspicious in the way she looked around the room, making sure no one else was listening in.

The closest people were Harry, Ron, and the twins, who were involved in an intense debate over whether they should go outside and play Quidditch, against Snape's direct orders. On the other side of the room, Sirius, Remus, and Tonks were huddled around the fireplace, discussing what Hermione assumed to be their plans for dueling lessons. Remus had been keeping Hermione up to date on the progression, and it seemed that lessons would begin very soon.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, focusing her attention back on Ginny.

A larger grin broke across the redhead's face. "I was wondering," she began dramatically, rubbing her chin, "if you were ever going to tell me where you've been going at night."

Hermione blanched. "Y-you noticed?"

Ginny huffed as if insulted. "_Of course_ I noticed, Hermione. So, is it who I think it is?" Her eyes flickered over to the corner where Remus sat.

Hermione could resist her small smile.

"I knew it!" Ginny burst out, getting up to kneel on the couch excitedly, "you have to tell me all about it!"

Hermione hushed her friend, "Okay, okay, just try to be more quiet about it."

"I'll do you one better," Ginny mumbled, removing her wand and casting a _Muffliato_.

"Where'd you learn that spell?" Hermione began, shaking her head after a moment. "Oh, never mind. What do you want to know?"

Her excitement almost made Ginny's hair look like it was sparking, "everything, of course!"

Hermione chuckled quietly, deciding that she truly needed to share everything with Ginny. She had to talk this through with her best female friend, both to get some advice and to get these secrets off her chest.

After a long explanation of everything that had happened over the past few days, Ginny was still beaming. "Hermione, I'm so jealous of you. You get to sneak around and meet him in his rooms and… it's so _exciting_! Harry and I rarely get that kind of exciting secrecy anymore."

"It's not all excitement and fun," Hermione mumbled, her gaze trained on Remus where he sat across the room. "I mean, can you imagine what would happen if someone found out? He's really afraid of it. I can tell he doesn't really want to go any further than snogging. It's like he's ashamed."

"That's just his personality," Ginny waved her hand dismissively, "you need to be more persistent. _Merlin_, I can't believe you've only snogged him!"

"He's just- he's difficult," Hermione replied, watching as Remus spoke to Sirius and Tonks. Her eyes fell on Tonks after a moment. The Metamorphmagus was smiling at Remus in a way that made Hermione just a bit uncomfortable. "Ginny?" Hermione began, still watching the pink-haired witch across the room.

"Yeah?" Ginny replied, following Hermione's gaze.

"Do you think Tonks flirts with him?" She felt sort of silly asking the question, but at least she wasn't asking Remus. She would feel childish and petty showing him how jealous she was. Ginny wouldn't judge Hermione for this sort of thing.

The redhead considered the question for a long time. "I suppose you could say that she flirts with him, but honestly, Hermione, that's just who Tonks is. She flirts with everyone. I don't think you need to be worried."

Hermione nodded absently.

"Enough about Tonks, though," Ginny leaned forward conspiratorially, "we need to figure out how you're going to get into Remus' pants."

Hermione choked on the mug of tea she'd been sipping. This was sure to be an interesting conversation…

* * *

"You do- you do realize why this is troubling me, Hermione, right?" Remus picked up his head from where it was resting on the back of the couch and looked at her.

Hermione swallowed dryly. So far Ginny's plan for seducing Remus wasn't going so well. "Well of course I do, but-"

"I don't know if you do, actually," he interrupted, his tone clipped. Suddenly, he stood from the couch, beginning to pace in front of the fireplace. The only light in the large library was that of the flickering fireplace and the moonlight streaming through the window.

Hermione crossed her arms, sitting up straighter on the couch, "well explain it to me then. Why is the fact that you're spending time with me so troubling to you?" Tonight, it seemed, Remus had decided it was time to discuss some of those things they'd left out in conversation so far. At this point, Hermione wasn't enjoying the discussion all that much.

He looked at her with an expression that was almost strangled. "It's not spending time with you. It- it's what we're _doing_. I'm a man in my thirties, Hermione. It's hard for me to reconcile touching you and kissing you when you're only eighteen."

"I'm technically nineteen," she grumbled under her breath, thinking of all those extra days and months the time turner added on.

"Fine, _nineteen_." He held his hands up in the air, as if in surrender. "Can you imagine what people would say about me? What they would think?" The bright fire flickered behind him.

"It doesn't matter what they think!" She retorted quickly, "I thought _you_ of all people would care a little less about how others see you."

"You may have me pinned wrong, then, Hermione," he said, his voice low as he stared into the fire. "The things they would say about me…"

She stood from the couch, striding towards Remus and standing before him. Despite being almost a foot shorter, she tried to look intimidating. "I think you have this idea in your head that everyone would suddenly see you as a wretched, lecherous, manipulative man, but you don't realize how different this situation is. The people around us – the people who really care about us – know how awful these past few months have been," she paused, feeling her throat grow constricted; a sure sign of impending tears. She stamped her foot on the ground, chiding herself afterward for how petulant she looked. "Damn it, Remus! You're a wonderful, caring person who has gone through far too much! Nobody could look down on you for developing this kind of bond with me!"

Tears were forming in her eyes. Hermione wiped at them hastily. Remus stopped her movement, however, with a sudden embrace. His arms came and pulled her against him; just like a hug they'd shared only the previous evening.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" she whispered, her voice muffled against his shirt.

She could feel him nodding. His arms tightened ever so slightly around her. "You're right," he said at last, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," she admitted, "I know this is hard for you."

"I'll survive," he mumbled wryly, kissing the top of her head. After a moment, he spoke again, "Come on, let's go to my room."

She nodded, tucking herself under his arm as they proceeded towards the exit of the library. Remus cracked open the door, peeking outside to make sure no one was around. The coast was clear. He quickly pulled Hermione by the hand just down the hall to his room. Once safely inside, he locked the door behind them.

The moment the lock clicked shut he turned and began to kiss her. His lips were persistent and heated. Hermione could feel the swell of tension within her, something she had come to associate with the beginning approach of the full moon. She let out a quiet moan when his teeth nipped lightly at her lower lip, and Remus' enlivened response was to grip her hips and pull closer to her. He was definitely feeling the symptoms of the full moon as well.

It was only a few moments until Hermione was pulling Remus' jumper up, desperately trying to feel his skin against her hands. He mirrored her actions, pulling at her blouse impatiently. Once they were both divested of their shirts, Hermione unclasped her bra, letting the bit of black cotton fall to the floor.

Remus continued to kiss her, his hand now coming up to cup one of her breasts. She gasped at the feeling of his cool hand against her bare chest, his fingertips moving to brush her nipple.

She must have made some other sound of pleasure, because Remus allowed a deep chuckle to rise in his throat. She drank in his breath, standing on her toes and pressing her body firmly against his. She could immediately feel his hardness against her lower stomach. It was exhilarating. She pressed into him more.

In seconds Remus had her on the bed, laying spread out with his body moving up beside her. "Tell me to stop," he mumbled hastily, his mouth working it's way down her neck and over her clavicle and then down to her chest, paying each nipple special attention.

She arched her back up into him. "No," was her broken response. Why would she ever want this to stop?

Suddenly his teeth lightly bit down on one nipple and she couldn't help letting out a strangled cry. She felt desperate for more contact… more of him. When his hand started trailing down to the waistband of her jeans she shifted up further, pushing his hand onwards.

He seemed quite hesitant about it, but after another moan on Hermione's part, his hand undid the button of her jeans, tugging down on the zipper and slipping beneath with an air of impatience. His mouth had found her lips again, kissing her hungrily. She couldn't help but bite down on his lower lip when his cupped hand finally pressed against her center.

She knew that she had been wet, but she could definitely tell now, and she knew Remus could tell too. Despite feeling a little embarrassed by it, that emotion was quickly done away with by Remus' enthusiastic response. He kissed her with more vigor than ever before, his free hand coming up to her breast and kneading it lightly.

It was possibly one of the most divine feelings ever, especially when the base of his palm began to shift and grind against her clit. She was sure that she must have been letting out a million throaty moans, but she honestly didn't care so long as he didn't stop.

Hermione could feel the pressure rising within her, and she could tell that it was satisfying some deep-seated need that she had. It was as if there was something that had been lying dormant within her for a long time, only to be awoken now in a way that made it feel as though _this_ was what she had been looking for all along.

Suddenly, his hand twisted ever-so-slightly in a move that felt expertly practiced. Something within Hermione snapped, and she was arching up against him and her toes were curling and her eyes were fluttering shut. "_R-Remus," _she cried, almost inarticulately, clutching his shoulders and tipping her head back. A wave of pure pleasure washed over her, leaving only happiness and an acute sense of belonging in its place.

Remus' hand retreated from beneath the waistband of her jeans. Hermione almost protested the loss, but then she didn't quite mind because he was kissing her again, and she could feel his erection grinding against her center through several layers of fabric.

He kissed her for several long moments, his tongue pressing into her mouth with heat and need. Eventually, however, he pulled away, moving to the side and sitting up in bed. The scars that marred his chest and back showed just a sliver of contrast to the slightly darker tone of his skin. "Forgive me if I got carried away, Hermione," he said, taking deep breaths.

"You didn't," she replied, sitting up as well and shifting closer to him. Her chest was heaving, and for a second his gaze fell to her breasts. She inspected him closely. His eyes looked dark as they bore into hers. "Can I…?" she began.

"You don't have to," he said quickly, "not tonight."

She shifted closer, suddenly irritated by her jeans, even in their undone and slightly pulled aside state. "But I want to," she murmured, suddenly deciding to stand up from the bed and take her jeans off, revealing only her black knickers.

He stood tall and resistant for about ten seconds before she could see his resolve crumble. She climbed back onto the bed, crawling over to his side. "I really do want this," she whispered, seating herself on his lap and leaving open-mouthed kisses against his neck and jaw.

Soon Hermione began to – half for her own sake and half for his – rock against him, moving her hips just minutely enough to make him shift forward. His ragged breathing alone was enough to tell her that he would give in.

After allowing herself suitable time to mentally go through what Ginny had instructed, Hermione shifted backwards on his lap, her hand reaching down to the button of his trousers. He hissed when her hand brushed against his hardness through the fabric. Hermione felt a heady sense of pride at the sight of what _she_ alone had done to him. All her insecurities about herself and her slight jealousy over Tonks were long gone in this moment.

She undid the button of his pants, pulling the zipper down at a slow enough pace to get anyone frustrated. Remus _did_ get frustrated. It was only about a second and a half before he was tugging the zipper down for her and pulling his cock out of his pants. His erection sprung free, and his hand instantly came around it, moving at a slow pace up and down.

Suddenly feeling a bit bashful, Hermione extended a tentative hand. "Can I…?" she said, echoing the words she'd muttered only several seconds ago. Remus nodded hastily, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure. Knowing that she wasn't quite sure of herself, Remus' hand came to guide hers towards him, wrapping it around his cock.

His head fell backwards when she gripped him. Hermione reveled in the pleasure such a simple thing had given him. Remembering how he'd been doing it seconds before, she began to pump her hand up and down. His hand continued to guide her for a couple strokes before letting go, allowing him to lean back and brace himself against the bed.

"_Fuck_, Hermione," he moaned, opening his eyes and sweeping his gaze over her heaving chest and black knickers. Soon he was thrusting a little into her hand, as if prompting her to move faster. She did so compliantly, her thumb flicking over the tip of his cock and then continuing to trace its way up and down.

When his thrusts grew shallower she knew what was happening, with a shudder and a deep, rumbling groan, he came in her hand, thick and hot. She studied his shrinking erection and the white ropy liquid for a long moment while he regained his awareness. At last, Remus summoned his wand and performed a wordless _Scourgify_.

Hermione picked her head up, meeting his gaze and not even trying to hide her triumphant smile. _She'd just gotten Remus off_. A part of her would revel in his loss of control and look of complete pleasure for a long, long time. Another part of her was already hungering to do more. _God_, she didn't ever want to leave his bedroom.

His hand tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, and she was pulled from her thoughts. Remus sat staring at her, his lips tugging up in a fond smile. "Thank you," he said softly, "that was wonderful."

A brilliant grin broke across Hermione's face, and she couldn't help leaning in and kissing him soundly on the lips again. "Thank _you_ as well," she whispered against his lips.

"We should get some sleep," he muttered, his arms encircling her waist, "you've got a big day tomorrow, what with becoming an official member of the Order of the Phoenix."

Hermione hummed an affirmation. Tomorrow was the first Order meeting at the Prince Estate. Most of the Order that wasn't already staying here would be arriving sometime tomorrow afternoon. Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny would be inducted at the meeting. A flutter of nervous excitement rose in Hermione's stomach at the thought.

"Well," she sighed languidly, "we should get some sleep then." Before Remus could do or say anything else, she pulled back the duvet and sheets and slid beneath them, her head falling onto one of the pillows. Remus watched her with obvious amusement.

"Come on, then," she said impatiently, patting the empty space next to her, "I'm already getting cold."

He probably knew that she wasn't actually cold, but he still shucked off his trousers just like she had, climbing into bed in his boxers and curling his arms around her. Hermione drifted off to sleep with a happy smile on her face. She would definitely have good news to report to Ginny tomorrow.


	22. The Order of the Phoenix

**XXII**

The Order of the Phoenix

* * *

"It's time," Harry said, appearing in the doorway of the library.

Hermione picked her head up from the Herbology text she was studying. "Dumbledore's here?"

Harry nodded. "McGonagall as well."

Hermione stood quickly from the couch, dropping her book and making her way out of the library, following shortly behind the bespectacled wizard. With her advanced hearing, she could already catch a hint of the voices coming from the dining room.

"Do you think Draco knows?" Harry asked as they walked.

"Probably," she murmured, knowing that Draco, while having been told to make himself scarce for the night, was bright enough to understand something of what was happening.

"What are you going to do during the full moon? He'll realize something's going on, won't he?"

She looked at her best friend, the young man that he now was, and nodded. "We'll deal with that when it comes." A large part of her feared what Draco would say after finding out she was a werewolf and that his father was at fault. Another large part of her, however, wondered if this was perhaps the final test they needed to determine if Draco had really shaken off all those Pureblood prejudices.

Harry and Hermione now stood outside the dining room, a loud stream of voices floating out from the room. "Shall we?" Harry asked, taking a deep, albeit shaky, breath.

"Let's," Hermione said simply, squaring her shoulders and following Harry into the room full of Order members.

Ginny and Ron were already seated at the table, talking quietly to each other. Hermione noticed that aside from Dumbledore and McGonagall, Kingsley, Mad-Eye, Bill, and Fleur were also present for the meeting.

Hermione was quickly seated between Harry and Tonks. Beside Tonks were Remus and then Sirius. Hermione shared a quick look with Remus, offering him a covert smile before bringing her gaze around the table. Just as she was turning away, Mrs. Weasley approached.

"Ginny," the woman bustled over, "Ronald," she leaned over the back of her children's chairs, "you know you don't have to do this, right? Come on, dears, we can get you out of here. You don't need to become a part of the Order today."

"Mum," Ginny said, her tone clipped, "we're doing this. There's nothing you can say that will stop us."

Mrs. Weasley let out a huff of annoyance before backing away, moving over to the other side of the table where her husband sat.

Not long after Harry and Hermione had arrived, Dumbledore began the meeting. First, he stood from his seat at the head of the table, looking around the room as if making sure everyone was present. At last, he spoke, "Good afternoon, everyone. Severus has informed me that things have been going quite splendidly here at the Estate." Across the table Snape sat frowning. Dumbledore continued, "In a moment we will address the reports from Kingsley, Alastor, and Severus, but first I believe we have some other business to attend to." With these words, Dumbledore turned towards the four youngest occupants of the room.

"You four will all be inducted into the Order of the Phoenix tonight," the Headmaster intoned, his voice somehow harder than before, "if any of you are unsure whether you would like to take on this responsibility and commitment, I urge you to say so now."

The room was dead silent. Hermione felt Harry shift beside her to clasp Ginny's hand under the table. Across the room, Mrs. Weasley looked positively irked. Beside her, Fred and George leaned back in their chairs, playing the part of the old, experienced Order Members.

"Very well," said Dumbledore, "we may move on with the ceremony. Minerva?"

Professor McGonagall stood from her position beside Dumbledore, smiling down genially at Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. From her pocket, she produced a roll of parchment, enchanting it to float in the air before her.

Dumbledore proceeded to explain the ceremony that was about to take place. From what Hermione understood, the induction involved two parts: a verbal oath and a wand oath. The verbal oath was easy enough; McGonagall would say the oath and then the four of them would recite it together. The magical oath was a little intimidating, having some similar factors in its appearance to an Unbreakable Vow. Still, Hermione was ready for this, and she knew that her friends were as well.

When it was time to begin, all eyes fell on the four young witches and wizards as they stood, raised their hand, and began to repeat the oath after McGonagall. It was a long, rambling oath about the fight against cruel forces in the Wizarding world and taking initiative against Death Eaters while also making sure to stand up against anyone who discriminated based on blood or magical ability.

"Now for the magical oath," Dumbledore announced, standing up and moving towards Ron, the closest to him. "Mr. Weasley," he said, extending his hand to Ron to shake. Hermione frowned at the similarities she saw to an Unbreakable Vow. Ron seemed just slightly uncomfortable as well.

"Do you vow," Dumbledore began, "to remain true to all that you have just agreed to, all that the Order of the Phoenix stands for?"

"Yes," Ron said, his voice brittle.

Dumbledore shook Ron's hand, and a wisp of white light encircled their hands for a moment. Apparently it was a spell meant to bind the inductee to silence about the Order. Hermione could see the hairs on the back of Ron's neck standing up.

After Ron came Ginny, then Harry, and Finally Hermione. When she shook Dumbledore's hand she noted the prickling of magic running through her hand, almost as if it was dissolving into her skin. She shivered after Dumbledore dropped her hand, sitting down in her seat quickly and glancing over at the others to gauge their expressions. Ron and Ginny looked proud as they glanced across the table towards Fred, George, Bill, and their parents. Mrs. Weasley looked deeply troubled, but the rest of her ginger-haired family members wore varying expressions of satisfaction or pride. Hermione's eyes fell on Harry again, noting the troubled way he watched Professor Dumbledore.

Hermione felt a tap on her wrist. She turned to look at Tonks, who wore a sloppy grin. "You did well," the Metamorphmagus whispered, winking. Hermione nodded, offering Tonks a conservative smile.

"Splendid," Dumbledore smiled, clapping his hands together and surveying the four newest additions to his group. He moved back to the head of the table, leaning over the old wood of it and facing the rest of the group. "Now we may begin the reports. Kingsley?"

Hermione turned to look down the table where Kingsley sat, her eyes drifting towards Remus. He was smiling at her in a similar way to Sirius. They both looked relieved, like they had been waiting for this to happen and worried it wouldn't go over as well as it did. Hermione smiled covertly at Remus before pulling her gaze away, towards Kingsley, who now stood at the far end of the table, ready to give his report from the Ministry of Magic.

"The Ministry is not doing well," Kingsley said, gazing around the room with a grim expression. "The Death Eaters are not making their presence outwardly known at this point, but I'm sure Alastor will agree with me when I say that we have weeks, at most, until they do something far more drastic."

Hermione could almost feel the tension radiating off of Harry beside her. Across the table Mr. Weasley leaned forward, "but surely you can't be certain of this, Kingsley? Are there any definite signs of Death Eater presence?"

"_Signs_?" Mad-Eye scoffed, "Walden Macnair has been placed at the right hand of the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement! Amycus Carrow has virtually taken over the Department of International Magic in Galleon Brown's absence! Just yesterday I saw Lucius Malfoy speaking with the Minister himself!"

Hermione stiffened in her seat, feeling several sets of eyes turn towards her at the mention of Lucius Malfoy. To her left she could feel Ginny bristle with discomfort as well.

"There are definitely people with Death Eater ties in the upper ranks of the Ministry," Kingsley said, thankfully drawing the attention away from Hermione. "If you want more evidence than just that- well there's also the Muggle-born Registry."

Hermione frowned. She'd been informed of the Muggle-born Registry just that morning through the Prophet. It was a truly awful thing: rounding up Muggle-borns and putting them on trial for "stealing magic." Hermione had wanted to vomit upon first seeing it.

Kingsley continued. "I've been hearing whispers of it for weeks, and I know that the Death Eaters are planning something. I only say this so that everyone knows that we must be ready to take more drastic measures- either to end this war or to continue hiding from You-Know-Who's attacks."

Harry sat up straighter in his chair. "We shouldn't be hiding," he interjected, his voice thick with emotion, "we need to put all of our efforts into ending this war before anyone else gets hurt."

The room was silent for several seconds.

It was Remus who spoke first. "That is a very noble thought, Harry, but the war can't just be ended on a whim. This will require planning and work. We must hide here for a while in order to come out stronger in the end."

"But people are dying," Harry continued, raising his voice and looking between Remus, Kingsley, and Dumbledore. "We can't let the Death Eaters rule the world like this while we keep just the Order safe and ignore all the others. What about all the Muggle-borns who are being captured and put on trial?"

"Harry…" Hermione whispered lowly.

"You can't save everyone, Harry," Remus said somberly, "and it's not your job."

"It doesn't mean we shouldn't be trying to do something about this!" Harry looked around the table as if searching for an advocate.

"I agree," Ron piped up, "we shouldn't just sit here every day and do nothing."

"That is actually something else I had wanted to address, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore spoke up, his eyes twinkling. "Remus, Nymphadora, would you mind explaining the recent assignment I've given you?"

Remus and Tonks stood up and promptly begun to explain the initiative for dueling practice. Ron and Ginny were both ecstatic at the thought of being able to spend their time dueling rather than cleaning the Estate like their mother wanted. Harry appeared to like the idea, but he still wore a troubled expression throughout the rest of the meeting. Hermione knew that he would not drop the things he had said only moments ago; Harry was anything if not valiant, and his Hero Complex would not have him continue living like this with his conscience in the dark.

In the end, everyone agreed that it wonderful idea to have some dueling practice. Remus and Tonks were to lead the charge, with Sirius and Professor Snape helping whenever they had the chance to. Snape begrudgingly accepted this, saying that he would only assist when his potions did not need immediate attention.

The meeting wound down after Mad-Eye and Professor Snape gave their reports. Mad-Eye talked about the Auror department, recent arrests that had been made, and a few disturbances involving notable Death Eaters. Snape gave a brief description of how things were going at the Estate and how the wards were holding up. Finally, Professor Dumbledore ended the meeting.

"Come to the drawing room in a few minutes," Sirius murmured, approaching Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione with a sly grin on his face, "I've got a surprise."

Hermione didn't know if she liked the look Sirius wore, but after turning to Remus and seeing that he wasn't worried about what his friend was up to, she let it go.

The group filed out of the dining room, Ginny telling Harry and Ron how exciting it was that the twins and Bill could no longer keep secrets from her about the Order. Hermione was only half-listening to her friend, however, because her attention was otherwise focused on none other than Draco Malfoy, who was currently descending the staircase and making his way towards the four of them.

"So," Draco sighed, watching the group that was filing out of the dining room, "anyone want to tell me what all that was about? It seems awfully mysterious of you lot."

"Nothing you need to worry about, Draco," Hermione hummed, leading her friends off towards the Drawing Room.

"I don't know," Draco mused, "Weasley looks a little too proud of himself for me to not be suspicious." The Slytherin's gaze was directed at Ron, who still wore the vestiges of a proud smile, similar to the one he always wore after a successful Quidditch match.

"Shove off, Malfoy," Ron grumbled after a pause.

"Don't be rude, Ronald," Hermione hissed. The last thing she wanted was for an old childhood rivalry to resurface now. Ron had been doing so well around Draco these past couple of days…

Draco stepped back in mock surrender, "Whatever. I doubt that it's anything that would interest me much anyway." With that, he retreated towards the kitchens.

"It's bloody weird having Malfoy lurking around this house," Ron murmured as they progressed toward the Drawing Room. "It's like having another Snape."

"You really should try to avoid starting any fights, Ron," Ginny said, "Hermione's right."

They were standing outside the drawing room now. Hermione could already hear Sirius, Remus, and Tonks chatting inside. She followed Harry inside, noting that he hadn't spoken a word since they'd left the meeting. She placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. "Harry," she murmured, "are you okay?"

He shrugged, shaking his head, "I'll be okay. I just- it's hard to know what's going on out there and be trapped in here… doing this." His hand gestured towards where Sirius stood, pouring champagne and laughing merrily, "how can he expect to celebrate anything at a time like this?"

Hermione frowned a little, realizing that long ago, in their fifth year of school, she had tried so hard to get Harry to see the irresponsible side of Sirius. Now it seemed that Harry was starting to catch a glimpse of that very thing and it actually made her quite sad for his lost innocence. She tightened her hand on his shoulder. "There will be time to take action and work towards winning this war, but I think for tonight you can relax." Her eyes followed Ginny and Ron as they took drinks from Sirius and laughed at something Tonks said.

"Yeah," Harry sighed, mustering a slightly less troubled expression and nodding once more, "I'll try, Hermione, but only as long as you do the same." He lifted his gaze from Sirius and brought it to her.

She smiled warmly. "I will."

Harry let out a breath, turning back to the group and making his way to Ginny's side, putting an arm around her shoulders and taking a glass of champagne from Sirius with the other. Hermione's eyes fell on Remus, standing behind Sirius and shaking his head at the Animagus' antics. Without giving herself time to hesitate, she approached Remus and stood just beside him.

"You did very well at the meeting," he murmured, his eyes roving around the room with mild interest. Sirius continued traipsing around, passing out champagne and humming to himself.

"Thanks," she replied, resisting the urge to step closer to him or reach for his hand. "Harry's upset about it."

He nodded. "He has a reason to be upset. With time, though, I think he'll understand that there's not much we can do while staying here."

"Maybe Harry's right," she mused, turning to face Remus, "maybe we shouldn't be hiding here, pretending that there isn't a war going on in the outside world."

He regarded her closely for a long second. "We'd be in so much more danger if we were out there," he finally said, "they want you and Harry and Ron dead more than anything else. We have to stay here for a little while and hide – even if it's not the Gryffindor thing to do – if only for the sake of self-preservation. If only so that we can win this war when the time comes."

Hermione was assaulted by a well of emotion- fear and sadness and rage about this horrible war. She wanted to launch herself into Remus' arms. She wanted to pull her body close to his and inhale his scent and feel his skin against hers. The noise of Fred and George clinking their champagne glasses together in a toast brought her back to the present. This room was full of people who didn't know anything of her relationship with Remus. So much hung in the balance with him that she shouldn't have even been holding eye contact for this long.

Luckily, Sirius swooped in at that moment.

"A drink for the lady," he announced, doing a mock-bow and handing Hermione a glass. She took it hesitantly. "And a drink for my dearest Moony," Sirius continued, giving Remus his own glass.

Hermione must have been looking at her champagne in a sort of displeased way, because Sirius noticed. "What's wrong, Hermione? Bad experience with alcohol in the past?" Although the way he said those words was the picture of innocence, something about his grin made her suspicious of what he knew.

"Something like that," she mused, remembering that night after the Quidditch final when she'd made the awful mistake of going to Remus' rooms.

She could hear Remus let out a huff of uncomfortable laughter beside her, but didn't meet his gaze. Her attention was drawn to Fred and George instead, as they began an elaborate toast to the newest Order members.

It was a long time until Hermione finally slipped out of the drawing room. She'd been sitting with Ginny and Tonks on the couch for a while, just talking and allowing Sirius to refill her glass every so often. Sometime after Fred and George made their toast she'd decided that it wouldn't hurt to have a drink or two of champagne. It wasn't like getting drunk and kissing Remus again would hurt anything… as long as she didn't do it in front of anyone else.

A couple glasses of champagne and a few hours later, Hermione was ready to leave the ruckus of the drawing room. She said goodnight to Harry and Ginny, both of whom were entangled in the other's limbs in a half-intoxicated mess on the couch. With a wave towards Remus, she slipped into the hallway.

The house felt quiet as she tiptoed not in the direction of the staircase leading to her bedroom, but in the complete opposite direction. Finally arriving at the familiar door, she turned the handle and entered Remus' bedroom.

Her plan had been to make herself comfortable and lay on Remus' bed for a little while, giving him a suitable amount of time so that it wasn't suspicious when he left the Drawing Room. Once he entered his room, she would pull him down onto the bed and kiss him deeply. She would kiss him until he was moaning her name, until he couldn't resist her anymore.

What Hermione didn't plan for, however, was how drowsy the alcohol made her. Upon plopping down onto Remus' bed, she immediately felt how soft and inviting it was, along with how the pillows smelled of Remus and the simple cotton sheets felt like satin against her skin.

* * *

"I think I'll turn in for the night, then," Remus said, sighing and standing up from his place in front of the fire. Ron, Fred, and George were all playing an intoxicated game of Exploding Snap, which they had, for some drunken reason, re-named "Exploding Snape." On the couch, Harry and Ginny were speaking quietly to each other and looking quiet content to be in the other's arms. Harry wasn't even slightly uncomfortable with the idea that three of his girlfriend's brothers were just a few feet away. In front of Remus sat Sirius and Tonks, sharing the last bit of champagne out of the bottle.

"You're going to bed?" Sirius asked, scandalized, "it's only half eleven!"

"I'm tired," Remus replied shortly.

"The full moon's in a few days," Tonks added, elbowing her cousin as if that would force some consideration into him.

"Fine," Sirius grumbled, watching Remus stretch his legs out with a growing smile. "Say hi to Hermione for me, will you?" The proud smile was enough to prove that Sirius thought he was being quite clever.

Remus glared at Sirius, noting the way Tonks perked up and narrowed her eyes at Sirius. Even though Tonks had drunk plenty tonight, she wasn't _that_ drunk. She would remember that Sirius had said that. It seemed that Sirius, in all his graceless drunkenness, hadn't cared to notice that.

Before Sirius could say anything else, Remus shot his friend another icy glare and left the drawing room.

His bedroom was dark and silent when he entered it. "_Lumos,_" he whispered, a dimmed light emitting from his wand. The room became visible, and so did the form of the young witch in his bed.

Hermione was spread out beneath the duvet, her wild hair fanned across the pillow and her limbs doing the same beneath the covers. Remus found it endearing that she slept like this while drunk (or at least half-drunk). Normally, she slept curled up under the covers, her arms clutched to her chest. Tonight she was in the complete opposite position, as if she was trying to take up as much space as possible with her arms and legs.

Remus approached the bed, sitting on the edge of it and removing his shoes first. The dip of the mattress appeared to rouse her awake. She picked her head up, looking at him with half-opened eyes.

"Sorry," he murmured, removing his socks now, "didn't mean to wake you up."

"S'alright," she replied groggily, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Remus removed his shirt and trousers next, feeling her eyes on him. He moved to his dresser, digging out a pair of flannel sleeping pants and pulling them on. When he turned back to the bed she was watching him with her half-lidded eyes. "You look upset," she observed.

"It's nothing," he shook his head, "just something Sirius said. Move over a little."

She obliged, scooting away from the edge of the bed. Remus climbed in. She immediately moved back to his side of the bed, wrapping her arms around his torso and practically fanning herself across the whole mattress. He chuckled lightly.

"Wha's funny?" was her slurred response.

"You're drunk."

"I know," she nearly groaned, "it's _awful_, isn't it?"

The way she said the word "awful" combined with her sleepy tone made it very hard to tell whether she was being sarcastic or completely serious. Remus settled for a nod in response. He pulled his arm out from beneath the weight of her torso and wrapped it around her waist. She sighed, settling into him.

He was asleep within minutes.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Reviews are lovely, as always. The full moon arrives in the next chapter, and we all know what that means...


	23. Secrets

**XXIII**

Secrets

* * *

It was only a few days after the Order meeting that dueling practice began. One morning, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny were sitting at the dining room table, eating breakfast and drinking their tea when Tonks abruptly barged in. "Up, you three," she said, her hair a vibrant purple color, "we've got the whole day and I'm not going to let it go to waste. Now where are Ron and the twins?"

"What's going on?" Harry asked, inspecting Tonks' robes. Instead of her usual garb, she was dressed in her full Auror gear.

"We're practicing. Molly's given us the day to work on your dueling outside and I'm going to take advantage of it."

Both Harry and Ginny lit up at the idea. Instead of having to continue the almost endless cleaning jobs that Mrs. Weasley employed them with, they would get to duel. "Are Sirius and Remus going to be there too?"

Tonks nodded, "meet us out back with Ron and the twins as soon as you can." With that, she swept out of the dining room.

"I'll wake them up," Ginny said, standing up from the table, "you two go ahead."

As Hermione and Harry walked towards the back gardens, Hermione spotted Draco descending the stairs. Doing the math over in her head, she realized that with Sirius and Remus, there would be an odd number of people. As if in tune with her thoughts, Harry turned to Draco. "Malfoy," he said, catching Draco's curious attention, "we're going to practice dueling out back."

"And…?" Draco said narrowing his eyes.

"Do you want to come?" Hermione asked lightly, offering him a smile.

He regarded Harry and Hermione very closely for a moment before nodding. "Since there's nothing better to do… might as well."

Together, the three of them made their way outside. They walked past the gardens and the greenhouse, where a patch of grass stretched before meeting the small pond. Sirius, Remus, and Tonks stood there. Remus and Sirius were engaged in a duel already, sending quick, agile hexes at each other. After a few seconds, Remus noticed the approaching trio. He did a double take, probably at the sight of Draco, and then let out a yelp of pain when a stinging hex hit him. Sirius' barking laughter reverberated across the clearing.

"That's one for Sirius, zero for Remus," Tonks announced, clicking her tongue chidingly at Remus.

"And he's supposed to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor," Sirius scoffed, clapping Harry on the back when they arrived beside him.

"I was distracted," he grumbled, pouting.

"First lesson, kids," Tonks said, facing the three of them, not even slightly put off by Draco's presence, "there will always be distractions, but you still have to keep your focus on your opponent. Constant vigilance, as some would say." Her words were spoken wryly, amused glances shot at Remus every few seconds. Remus just shook his head.

Ron, Ginny, Fred, and George had now joined them on the field. "What's Malfoy doing here?" Ron immediately asked.

"He's here because this isn't an activity that has to be exclusive to us," Hermione said. "Everyone could always brush up on their dueling. Plus, it's not like any one of you is less prone to boredom than the others." It was obvious that everyone was bored out of their minds here at the Estate.

"And you're not, Hermione?" Sirius asked, grinning, "there must be something awfully interesting you're doing, hmm?"

Remus shot Sirius an icy glare, prompting the Animagus to let out a bark of laughter. "Alright, alright, let's get on with the dueling, shall we?"

Tonks quickly paired them up. Hermione supposed the she was lucky to have been partnered with Draco. While she wanted to include him today, she also worried that having him fight against someone like Ron would cause an _actual_ duel.

Moving off to their own space, Hermione and Draco faced off against each other, beginning with a bow and quickly launching into their duel. Draco started with fast, hard-to-deflect spells. Hermione fought back with harder, more brutal curses, and soon Draco did the same. Within moments they were dodging and firing wildly. Hermione could feel the perspiration on her brow and the rapid hammering of her heart against her chest. She didn't pay attention to the other pairs around her, only conscious of Draco's movements and any spells that were coming towards her.

In the end, Draco was quite a match, but she surprised him with a rapidly shot off jelly-legs jinx. Soon he was falling to the ground, his legs failing beneath him and his wand shot out of his hand by Hermione a second later.

Now that her attention wasn't focused on Draco, Hermione saw Tonks and Sirius approaching from her left. A little behind them were Remus and George, who were engaged in a relaxed duel. She could see Remus' eyes dart towards her every few seconds.

"Quite impressive, Hermione," Tonks said, nodding and turning to Sirius.

"I agree," he said, "though you may want to work on your footwork. Your dodging was a little sluggish at points."

Hermione nodded, absorbing the advice.

Tonks turned to Draco, cancelling the Jelly-Legs Jinx and helping him up. "Cousin," she said wryly, "you fight like a Malfoy."

Draco didn't seem to know what to say. Hermione wondered if he'd ever spoken to Tonks before, or even knew who she was. To be honest, even Hermione had forgotten that Tonks' mother was Narcissa's estranged sister. She idly wondered if Tonks and Narcissa had any time to talk since arriving at the Estate.

"I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult," Draco said after missing a beat.

Tonks laughed, "It's a compliment. Malfoys may be a brutal lot, but that doesn't mean they aren't excellent duelers."

Draco nodded. Hermione approached, extending her hand to him. "Good fight," she said.

Draco took her hand, letting out a breath. "I hate to admit it, Granger," he said, "but you're a powerful witch."

It was the kind of comment she'd never have expected to hear from the likes of Draco Malfoy, but it was welcome nonetheless. "Thanks," she said, now turning her attention to the other dueling pairs.

Harry bested Fred in their duel, much to Fred's chagrin. Ron ended up on the receiving end of a nasty Bat-Bogey hex from Ginny, who emerged triumphant. Remus beat George, as was to be expected, but that didn't stop Hermione from wincing every time George send a potentially dangerous spell his way.

As the day progressed, partners were switched and many duels took place. Hermione didn't get the chance to fight Remus, but she found herself hoping to do it sometime in the future anyway.

Finally, it grew late in the afternoon. They'd been working and practicing continuously since that morning with only an hour break for lunch. Hermione was exhausted and sweaty. She desperately wanted to take a shower and pass out in bed… preferably Remus' bed.

* * *

As the full moon drew nearer, Hermione found herself once again experiencing all the symptoms she had come to be quite familiar with. The same frustrating restlessness, fatigued body, increased senses, and overactive sex drive soon plagued her. This month, though, her whole perspective on the full moon was quite different. This time she was living in the Prince Estate, and this time almost everyone within the house knew of her lycanthropy.

"Bloody hell, Hermione," Ron commented one morning at breakfast, "you like you didn't sleep at all last night."

Hermione let out an incoherent grunt in response. Harry immediately elbowed Ron in the side. "The full moon is in two days, Ron," he said chidingly.

"Oh," Ron mumbled, "sorry, I forgot."

"It's fine," she waved her head, "I probably do look like quite a mess." This could almost fully be accredited to the fact that she'd fallen asleep away from Remus last night for the first time all week. Ginny found it quite funny that Remus hadn't allowed Hermione to spend the night in his room. He had told Hermione that he didn't like the idea of them being near each other all night this close to the full moon. Hermione was quite put out by this, having hoped that he would finally give in and shag her when the full moon symptoms started to kick in. It appeared that Remus had more self-control than she initially thought…

As if on cue, Remus entered the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking as if he'd just been hit in the head by a rogue Bludger. Ginny let out a quite chuckle upon seeing Remus, but quickly mastered herself. Hermione didn't look at him, hoping that his own exhaustion right now was enough to teach him a lesson for last night. She wanted to be let back into his room, and she knew that he wanted it too.

"I can't believe we never made the connection at Hogwarts," Harry mused, looking between Hermione and Remus. "I mean, we all knew that you were sick with something, Hermione, but why didn't we see it? It was always the full moons, always the same as Remus."

"You know," Ginny mused over her mug of tea, "oddly enough, Ron mentioned it to me once, jokingly of course."

"I did?" Ron looked up from the muffin he was scarfing down.

"Yeah," Ginny leaned forward in her seat, "you said that maybe Hermione was sick because she'd secretly become infected by a werewolf or something. I never took it seriously, though, because… it was outrageous…"

Harry let out a short laugh. Hermione looked over at Remus and saw that he wore a downcast expression. "It _is_ pretty outrageous," he mumbled. Hermione couldn't resist reaching for his hand and covering it with her own. He met her eyes for a moment, and she tried to convey to him how much she wished he could let go of all the guilt and self-hatred. A part of her knew that it wouldn't go away as long as their situation remained the same, and perhaps that was why he was still holding back from her.

Remus wouldn't have sex with her, and she knew it was far-fetched to think that finding a successful alteration to Wolfsbane would fix that, but it was a major motivator. A small part of Hermione's mind firmly believed that the only way he could truly forgive himself was if she found a way to cure the physical transformation. She held onto that hope every day when she worked on her research in Snape's lab.

Ginny cleared her throat, and Hermione's eyes were pulled away from Remus'. She blushed, looking back to her breakfast. Luckily, Sirius and the twins entered the dining room a moment later, changing the subject to a discussion of some WWW products that they were trying to get a Marauder's opinion on.

Hermione covertly watched Remus throughout most of the morning, and when they went to Snape's lab to start working, she could barely keep her eyes off of him. It was only upon Remus' insistence that Snape could walk in at any moment that she backed off.

In the afternoons, after taking their Wolfsbane, Remus and Hermione started to pick up on their habit of jogging again. This time, they went for jogs around the borders of the Estate, just before the wards closed off the outside world. One afternoon, Sirius joined them as Padfoot, galloping beside them as they did laps around the outskirts of the gardens, his tongue lolling out from the side of his mouth. It seemed to put Remus in a lighter mood when Sirius was present, and Hermione knew that this meant the full moon would easier as well.

When the full moon finally did come around, the whole household seemed to have a dreadful atmosphere. At dinner, everyone aside from Draco and Narcissa knew what was happening that night. Of course, it seemed that it would remain a secret for long, because after a couple sly comments from Fred and George, Draco and Narcissa were tipped off.

"Well," George sighed, "Remus is certainly _wolfing_ down that stew, isn't he Fred?"

"Yes," Fred agreed, "Hermione too. Both of you are just _ravenous_ tonight, aren't you."

Hermione glared at the twins, echoed by Harry and Ginny. Her eyes flickered to Draco a moment later, sitting at the end of the table. He watched the exchange with narrowed eyes. His mother beside him looked distinctly uncomfortable. Hermione knew that she couldn't blame Narcissa for still being uncomfortable with all the talk about Lycanthropy. She'd been raised to hate werewolves and any other being that was deemed to be below her. Narcissa had actually been quite civil towards Remus and Hermione, despite knowing that one was a werewolf and the other Muggle-born.

"The full moon's tonight," Ron said, as if informing the twins of something they didn't already know. It appeared that Ron hadn't caught the joke, being distracted by his own stew, and he'd also apparently forgotten the fact that it was still a secret from a few members of the household.

Suddenly Ron let out a yelp when Ginny stomped her foot on his under the table. "Bloody hell! What was that for?"

Ginny was glaring at Ron and the twins. She quickly darted her eyes over to Draco, and comprehension dawned on Ron. "Oh," he muttered, the tips of his ears going red.

"What's going on?" Draco said, looking at Hermione and Remus with an expression of supreme suspicion.

"Another roll, anyone?" Mr. Weasley spoke up, holding up a basket of his wife's bread rolls, a tight smile on his face.

Hermione looked around the table, at the faces of her friends and extended family members, and then at Remus. He shrugged, letting her know that he didn't mind if she told them. She turned towards Draco and Narcissa.

_Best just to be blunt about this_, she thought to herself. "I'm a werewolf," Hermione said calmly, "I was infected on the night Lucius tried to kill me."

The whole room had taken up an ominous silence. Draco's face drained of color. Narcissa wore a completely blank, mastered expression. "That's what you were talking about," Draco whispered after a moment, "when you said that I didn't know half of what happened that night." His voice was far away, but his eyes focused on Hermione.

She nodded. Across the table, Remus was staring down at his plate of food, a hard expression on his face.

To everyone's surprise, Narcissa spoke next. "My husband is a horrible person, Hermione," she said, "I'm sorry he did that to you. I'm quite sure you don't deserve a curse like that."

Before anyone else could react, Remus was standing up from the table, his chair screeching as it dragged against the floor. "Excuse me," he said quietly, picking up his plate and silverware and storming off towards the kitchen. Hermione watched his back as he retreated, seeing the tension in his shoulders and his free hand balled into a tight fist.

She quickly glanced back to Narcissa. The woman looked quite regretful of what she had said. She probably had no idea of how it could upset Remus, but really, Hermione wanted to yell at her for it. She shouldn't have been so insensitive. Or perhaps it was Hermione's fault, for telling Draco and Narcissa in front of everyone, including Remus…

"Thank you, Narcissa," Hermione said, ignoring the tremor in her voice. She looked down to her bowl of stew, and then up at the people sitting around her. "Excuse me for a moment," she said, echoing Remus' words and actions as she got up and retreated from the room. She caught Sirius' eye on her way out, and he nodded to her slowly, as if telling her that he would keep everyone else at bay, and let Remus and Hermione have a moment.

Remus was standing in the kitchen, his arms braced on the countertop and his head bent downward. His eyes were closed, his jaw clenched tightly. Hermione moved forward and stood beside him, tentatively reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder. Once she made contact with him, he took a deep, shuddering breath, as if inhaling the tranquility that her presence offered.

They'd both grown used to the calming sensation of another werewolf's presence, but it was times like these when it truly made itself known. Perhaps it was the impending full moon, or the emotional event that had just taken place, but she could feel his presence with ever fiber of her being.

Suddenly, Remus turned swiftly, reaching out to her and pulling her into his arms. With a strength that she knew was hard to muster on the evening of the full moon, he picked her up and swiftly set her on the countertop. She was just a head taller than him now, sitting on the counter and looking down at him.

It almost didn't feel like an embrace the way he clung to her. One arm came to wrap around her back, the other around her shoulders. He pulled her hard against him, resting his head on her shoulders and taking deep, shuddering breaths. Hermione allowed him to do as he pleased, placing one hand on his head, threading her fingers through his hair.

Neither spoke.

It was a long time before Remus gained some semblance of composure. He tightened his arms around her for a second before pulling back. Hermione rested her hands on either shoulder, staring into his eyes and trying to gauge how he was feeling.

"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes darting to the door leading into the dining room, where the whole house was still seated.

"It's okay," she mumbled, lazily threading her fingers through his hair, "the full moon's only a few hours away. It'll feel better in the morning."

He nodded noncommittally. "We probably need to get up to the attic anyway."

Hermione hummed in agreement, "I can tell Sirius."

Remus nodded, standing back as Hermione hopped off the countertop, approached the door to the dining room, and stuck her head in. She found Sirius' eyes amongst the plethora of people watching her. "We're going up to the attic," she said quietly.

Sirius nodded, standing up from the table. "I'll join you," he said quietly, nodding his head at everyone else and thanking Mrs. Weasley for the meal before he exited the room. "All right there, mate?" he said, looking at Remus once the door was closed and the three of them safely inside the kitchen.

Remus nodded. "Let's get this over with."

Professor Snape had prepared the attic. Aside from having several automatically activating wards, the door was boarded up with a large wooden latch. The fact that so many precautions had to be taken made Hermione uncomfortable, but she knew that if on the off chance the Wolfsbane failed it would be dire if Remus and Hermione could escape the attic.

"Now," Sirius sighed, assessing the old attic around them, "I've been kind enough to say I'd sit with the two of you in here all night, so you'd better not get up to anything randy."

"Sirius…" Remus began warningly.

"What?" the man continued, "I don't know what kind of freaky stuff you werewolves like to do."

Hermione took the liberty of slapping Sirius lightly on the shoulder. "Be quiet," she chided.

Sirius just laughed, shifting into Padfoot a moment later. Hermione exchanged a look with Remus. There was still a downward curve of his lips, telling her that he was quite tense. She stepped closer to him, reaching out to grasp his hand and entwine her fingers with his. They exchanged comfort with each other, knowing that it was going to be a long night, as all full moons were.


	24. Blinding Sunlight and Perilous Darkness

**XXIV**

Blinding Sunlight and Perilous Darkness

* * *

It was morning. The full moon was over and the sun had risen in its place. Hermione knew this because of the blinding sunlight that seeped through a crack in the wooden walls of the attic. There was also the obvious indicating fact that she was a human again, not a wolf.

The witch buried her face in her arms, lying face down on a dusty carpet on the floor of the attic. A part of her told her to find something to cover her nakedness, but she actually didn't care that much anymore. Remus knew her body now, and as for Sirius, she couldn't care less.

Suddenly she heard a shifting, the noise amplified in her ears as her senses were still acutely in tune after the full moon. It was Remus. He moved closer to her, his arm coming to wrap around her back. The feel of his skin on hers was enough to soothe many aches in her body. She noted in the back of her mind that she'd not scratched or clawed at herself once this full moon. Perhaps it was due to Sirius' presence or the fact that she was getting better at controlling herself with every passing month.

She was reminded of Sirius as Remus pulled himself closer to her, his arm tightening around her waist, their naked bodies aligned. "Remus," she rasped, opening her eyes and picking her head up.

"Sirius left," he said, knowing what she was thinking.

Hermione looked around the attic, seeing no sign of either dog or human. She hadn't noticed him leave. Perhaps it was during their final transformation back that he'd slipped out.

"Good," she replied finally, turning to face him, "I don't want to put clothes on."

He huffed out a laugh, his tired face shifting into a smile. Hermione moved closer, pressing her face into his chest and taking deep breaths. She felt very, _very_ tired. Aside from that, though, it wasn't a particularly awful post-moon experience.

Remus pressed his face into the hollow of her neck, his mouth soon latching onto her shoulder, leaving a light kiss on the freckled and sweaty skin. Hermione knew that both of them needed to bathe pretty badly right now, but she couldn't quite bring herself to care. Instead she returned the affectionate gesture, pressing her lips to his sternum, just below the hollow of his neck.

She must have drifted off to sleep then, because before she knew it Remus was gently shaking her awake. "Sirius will be back soon."

She groaned, "I don't want to get up."

He let out a small chuckle. "I know. He's just going to give us some potions and then we're going to go to my room and you can sleep again."

She thought this over, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Won't someone notice?"

"Sirius will cover for us," Remus replied, "and I'm sure Ginny as well."

Hermione accepted this. She sat up on the carpet, looking around for the robe she'd put on earlier. It was strewn across the floor a few feet away. It took her several seconds to make her way over to it and shrug it on. When she turned around Remus was dressed too.

Soon Sirius was knocking on the door at the top of the staircase to the attic. He opened it not a moment later, arms full of potions that Professor Snape must have brewed.

"All right there?" He asked, looking Remus and Hermione over.

Both let out incoherent mumbles in response, taking the potions and downing them one-by-one.

All that was left was to make the trek down from the attic to Remus' bedroom. Luckily it was still quite early in the morning, so no one was out and about yet. Sirius helped Hermione down the stairs while Remus slowly made his way, refusing help. At last they arrived at Remus' room. With Sirius' arm still partially supporting her, she made her way to Remus' bed and fell asleep just as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Two hours later, Harry sat at the table across from Sirius, two mugs between them and no one else in the room. "How much time does Dumbledore think we have?" the young wizard asked, looking down at his tea with a tight-lipped expression.

"Weeks," Sirius replied factually, "possibly a month or two."

Harry considered this information. If Voldemort was moving forward with other plans of domination of the Wizarding World in a matter of months, it didn't seem like they had much time to be sitting around and doing nothing like they were today. Sirius had said that he didn't feel like holding a dueling session after his lack of sleep, and with Remus and Hermione both absent the group would dwindle even further. Ron, Ginny, and the twins had jumped on the free time to get a pick up Quidditch game going outside. Harry hadn't felt much like playing today.

"I just don't feel right," Harry exhaled, leaning back in his chair and looking at his Godfather, "I mean- when you were first inducted into the Order they had you going on missions within a week!"

Sirius couldn't argue with this fact. He'd told Harry enough stories about his first year as an Order member. "It was a different time, Harry. James and I were already in Auror Training." Sirius fiddled with his wand, rolling it under his fingers on the table. "Plus," he added, "Molly Weasley did _not_ consider me one of her adopted children to coddle and protect."

Harry chuckled despite himself. He found it funny when Sirius and Mrs. Weasley got into their little rows. A few times, though, things had grown ugly and he'd often wished the pair of them didn't have to be so argumentative.

Harry and Sirius were still grinning when the door to the dining room opened. In walked Draco, a stack of paper in one hand and a sandwich in the other. Upon spotting Harry and Sirius sitting across from each other, he paused.

"Hi, Malfoy," Harry murmured, chancing a look at Sirius, whose jaw was tight. Everyone in the house had accepted Draco's presence in the house and his lack of evil intentions except for Sirius. It seemed to have something to do with Draco's resemblance to his father, and all the things Lucius had done to wrong Sirius and Sirius' friends in the past.

"Potter," Draco replied, shifting in discomfort. After a moment he dropped the stack of paper he was holding onto the table. "Severus asked me to drop off the Prophet," he informed them.

Wordlessly, Sirius leaned over and grabbed the newspaper. He set to skimming the cover. Harry turned back to Draco, "thanks."

Draco nodded, making to leave the room, but then stopping. He turned around, looking at Harry with obvious trepidation. "Granger-" he began, "she's okay, right?"

Sirius scoffed. Harry ignored his Godfather's reaction and answered Draco. "Yeah. She'll probably just sleep the whole day. Sirius said she and Remus are fine- just tired."

Draco nodded warily, still not leaving. Harry could tell that he was still battling with whether to say something or not. At last, he spoke, "my mum didn't know either. She thought- _neither_ of us ever imagined what truly happened that night."

"Well," Sirius spoke up, eyeing Draco over the top of the Prophet, "perhaps you'd better wise up to what your father is really capable, then?" His words were sharp and biting.

Draco looked at Sirius, conflicted and troubled, and then he silently left the dining room.

"He's not his father, you know." Harry watched Sirius closely.

The Animagus sighed, "I know. You should have seen how Lucius looked when we were in school together. It's hard not to make some connections when they look like the same bloody person."

Harry nodded, returning to his tea and resisting the urge to continue this conversation. While Sirius proceeded to read his side of the Prophet, Harry examined the back page, held up in Sirius' hands.

It was the obituaries. The page looked overflowed with names. None of the deaths had been confirmed as Death Eater doings, but from the last Order meeting Harry could tell that at least half of these were on behalf of Voldemort's forces. He felt sick.

* * *

It was hours later when Hermione awoke. It must have been verging on mid-afternoon now. She found herself lying in bed beside Remus, marveling at how much nicer it was to not have anything to do the day after the full moon. There were no classes to attend, no meals to make appearances at, and no friends to hide her secrets from.

She woke up slowly, thoroughly enjoying the pleasure of not being shaken away by Remus, told that she had to sneak back to her room before anyone else in the house awoke. She could rely on Sirius and Ginny to cover for them. It was the day after the full moon; she deserved some peace.

As if in sync with Hermione, Remus awoke only a few seconds later. She could feel him shifting, stretching his tired limbs and inhaling deeply behind her. "Morning," he murmured as Hermione turned over to face him.

"Afternoon," she corrected, nodding towards the window in his bedroom, where the sun could be seen hanging low in the sky.

"Mmm," he groaned, shifting closer to her under the sheets and wrapping his arms around her torso, "we slept for quite a while."

"I think I could sleep forever when you're nearby," she murmured, noticing that there was a dull ache in her temple, one of the lasting damages from the full moon. She rested her head against his shoulder, her face turned into the pillow.

"It is funny," he commented, trailing a free hand up and down her arm, "how much easier it is to fall asleep and get a restful sleep with you around."

Hermione shifted closer to him, feeling the alignment of their bodies, side-by-side. They were silent for a long while before Hermione shifted upwards in bed, now face-to-face with him. She leaned in and kissed him, a chaste peck on his lips. "I want to do it tonight," she whispered, inches away from his face. She felt silly saying it – or rather, bringing it up – like this, but she didn't know how else.

He was slow to understand what she meant. "Do… do what?" His brow furrowed, before comprehension dawned. "Oh."

She couldn't help smiling, leaning in to kiss him again.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," he said, pulling back, "we're both still recovering from the full moon…"

"Which is why it's actually the _perfect_ time," she retorted, "the moon is over, but we're still exhibiting some of the symptoms; symptoms that need to be sated. Plus, I don't know about you but I feel much better than I would after a normal full moon."

He sighed, eyes ghosting over her face and the happy expression there. Finally, he gave a slight nod, "okay. Let's talk about it later tonight, though. Then we can move forward, but I want to talk about it."

He responded exactly how she expected him to. Hermione nodded in happy agreement, crinkling her nose up a moment later. "I haven't bathed in over twenty-four hours."

"I don't mind," he uttered drowsily, his head once again falling back onto the pillow, eyes drooping.

"_I_ do," she replied, sitting up in Remus' bed and glancing around. "What are the chances, do you think, that we could sneak into the bathroom down the hall together?"

He raised a single eyebrow, his tired face perking up in the dimly lit bedroom. "Slim," he said after a moment, "Tonks is probably wandering around out there."

She frowned. "Fine. Separate bathing, and then we'll reconvene later tonight." She punctuated this statement with a quick, passionate kiss on his lips. Remus watched Hermione get out of bed, pull some clothes on, and retreat from the room.

* * *

Hermione slipped inside Remus' bedroom late that night, dinner having ended at least an hour ago and the house quieting down as everyone went off to bed. "Hello," she said shyly from the door. Remus sat reading, stretched across his bed on top of the blankets and sheets.

He put his book down, glancing up at her through the dim light. "Hi again," he said.

She walked towards him, feeling a flutter in her stomach as she climbed onto the bed beside him. Remus sat up. "Everyone's asleep," she murmured, looking up at him through her eyelashes and remembering the conversation she had with Ginny only moments ago. Hermione had confessed her plans for tonight. Ginny had been ecstatic.

Remus looked like he wanted to say something, like he was trying to formulate something to say in his mind, but Hermione cut him off. She leaned in, kissing him fully on the lips and winding her arms around his neck. Remus returned the kiss, leaning back against the headboard and allowing Hermione to climb into his lap. She straddled him, kissing her way down to his jaw and neck in the way she knew he liked. He returned the favor a moment later, and Hermione didn't even try to restrain her quiet moan when he nipped at her clavicle.

Their relationship had been physical like this for over a week now. It wasn't very long, but to Hermione it felt like an eternity. She knew Remus as well as almost anyone in her life right now. Since arriving at the Estate they'd spent nearly every day together in either the greenhouse or Snape's lab. After the others went to sleep, they spent most nights together as well. She knew his body – at least to the full extent that she could without having sex – and he knew hers. She knew how he liked to be kissed, how it felt to have his arms wrap around her waist and then tug upwards at her jumper…

She could already feel his hardness through the multiple layers of clothing. Remus tipped his head back and groaned when she rocked against him. She thought it was all over then, and she'd won the battle over whatever remaining hesitation he had. However, he proved her wrong.

"Hermione," he breathed, grasping her shoulder with one hand and her waist with the other. She pulled back and met his gaze. "Are you sure you're ready?" he asked, "you know that you don't have to do this, you're not obligated in any way."

She almost laughed. "Of course I know that. The point is that I _want_ to."

_I want to because I think I'm in love with you,_ a voice in her head added. She quickly pushed these thoughts away, not having given much thought to the concept of being in love with him. There would be time for that later, but it was too soon now. It had only really been one week…

Remus was still watching her with a look of worry.

"Do you want to?" she asked, her voice smaller this time.

He let out a shaky breath. "Yes. More than I can admit, actually."

She looked down at the pattern quilt beneath them, tracing her fingers along its shapes. "I already performed the contraceptive spells," she mentioned casually.

Remus didn't say anything for a beat. "Oh," he finally murmured.

Hermione decided that they weren't going to get anywhere if they kept talking about it like this. She scooted closer to him again, kissing him deeply and with all the pent-up emotions and frustrations she had after the full moon. Remus returned the kiss in much the same manner, and before Hermione knew it he was flipping them over, his body stretched out above hers along the bed, his erection pressing into her lower stomach.

She felt the flutter in her stomach return full force. It was mostly excitement and arousal that was making her insides coil and heat up, but she knew that there was also some nervousness there.

_No need to be nervous. This is Remus._ She told herself this, allowing him to pull the cotton t-shirt over her head and kiss his way down from her neck, over her breasts and stomach. She cared so deeply about him – possibly even _loved_ him – and she trusted him more than almost anyone else on this earth. Plus, he cared about her. The gentle fondness and reverent kisses assured her of that.

He was struggling to unclasp her bra. It was different than the kind she usually wore, having three clasps instead of two. Hermione couldn't help but laugh at his frustrated expression as he attempted to unclasp it from above.

"A little help?" he said, laughing along with her.

"Can't even remove a simple bra?" she taunted, clicking her tongue chidingly before undoing it herself.

Remus responded to her teasing by pulling away the fabric quickly and attacking her breasts, pinching his teeth down on one nipple. Hermione cried out, stuck somewhere between surprise and arousal. Remus continued this harried exploration, his lips gliding across her soft, pale skin in a way that made her quiver with anticipation.

Eventually she had enough of this tedious foreplay. Realizing that the werewolf above her was still fully clothed, Hermione reached for his shirt, unbuttoning it jerkily. Sometime after the third button Remus decided to obstruct her goal. He pressed his hips forward, pushing into hers with a languid passion. Hermione almost gasped at the delightful friction through the layers of clothes. _God_, she wanted him more than she'd ever wanted him before. The worst part was that he could _tell_. And he was _enjoying_ it.

"A little hot and bothered, are we, Hermione?" He said, a flirtatious and youthful smile gracing his lips as he ground his hips into hers once more. Everything about him in this moment made the already half-formed image in her mind of how he'd been as a teenager even clearer.

"_Remus_," she gasped, unable to form a more coherent response. He just grinned a little broader, letting up on the torturous ministrations and allowing her to finish undoing his buttons. In a matter of seconds, his shirt was pushed off his shoulders, falling to the ground. Next, she snaked her hand down to the waistband of his trousers, undoing them quickly. He assisted her in shucking them off, laughing as he proceeded to undo the button of her own jeans.

She raised her hips, allowing him to pull her pants and knickers over her legs, throwing them onto the floor. He kissed her then. It was a kiss filled with such a whirlwind of emotions that she could barely catch them all. One thing was for certain, though: he was worried.

"What is it?" she asked, reaching a hand to run across the side of his face and his hair. In the dim candlelight she thought he looked more handsome than ever before.

"I don't want to hurt you," he muttered, his thumb lightly brushing over the skin of her shoulder.

"You won't" she responded, almost laughing. Remus Lupin hurting her was the absolute least of her worries right now. His expression told her that he still wasn't convinced, though. "I'm a werewolf, Remus," she smiled wryly, "I can take a little discomfort every once in awhile."

He nodded. After a second she felt one of his hands slip down her stomach and hips, towards her center. At the touch of his finger to her clit she was reminded of how immensely turned on she was. Her low moan must have been loud, because he was soon ginning proudly.

His head dipped down to kiss her neck and then her mouth as his finger dipped lower. She let out a deep sigh at the feel of one, and then two of his fingers inside of her while his thumb circled her clit.

Soon the pressure was too much. Remus was tipping her over an edge that she was already precariously perched on. She bit into her lip to keep from screaming when her orgasm finally hit, an indomitable wave of hot pleasure. Remus' fingers worked expertly, riding out her climax with slow ministrations.

Hermione was left gasping beneath him, her head tipped back and a languid smile breaking across her lips. He was quick to pounce on her mouth again, kissing with a hunger that was new and desperate.

"Hermione," he mumbled reverently, breaking away from her mouth to kiss down to her breasts and then back up again, "want you so bad."

She was regaining her footing, but the desire was still there. She wanted him badly. "I'm ready."

His green eyes met hers, and she could see a glint of deep, perilous darkness there. He was beautiful. She wanted all of him, all of this.

He aligned his erection up against her entrance, and she could feel it there. His cock was big, bigger than it had ever seemed. She tensed up, but quickly reminded herself of what Ginny had instructed her earlier.

_You have to relax. Don't be tense. Just relax._

With a nod, Hermione told him she was ready. He kissed her forehead sweetly, and then her lips, as if anticipating the discomfort for her. Then he pushed forward.

It was uncomfortable at first, and she had to remind herself to breathe, but then it got better.

"_Fuck,"_ he whispered, his eyes closed above her. He was waiting, and she could see how fragile his composure was right now as he resisted the urge to move wildly. It made her feel oddly, incredibly desirable. She felt a great burst of excitement and happiness mix with the overwhelming lust, drowning out any pain or discomfort.

He started moving slowly, almost rocking, back and forth. His breaths were short and cut, and when his eyes finally fluttered open and met hers the dark lust within them was even more treacherous than before.

Eventually all traces of discomfort at the intrusion faded away. Hermione started to really, deeply feel him. He felt divine inside of her. She felt complete and wonderfully filled and she knew that she was leaning over the edge again, falling toward that blinding wave of pleasure.

His thrusts became more steady and practiced, but his breathing was still erratic. "You feel-" he gasped, "you feel amazing, Hermione. _Merlin_. I'm not going to last long like this."

She reveled in those words, finding the strength within her to wrap her legs tightly around his waist, pulling him in closer. His movements immediately became more erratic. They were both getting close.

"Come with me," he whispered raggedly, his face nearly pressing into the nape of her neck. As he said this, one hand moved down to her center, grinding against her clit. She pressed up into him, and knew that they were just about as close as they could ever get to each other.

That was enough to push her over the edge. She cried out, clutching his shoulders and allowing him to thrust erratically into her. He grunted as he came, her name spilling over his lips many times, along with a dozen curses and praises to the gods.

The only coherent thought in her mind was that _yes_, she was _definitely_ in love with him.

Remus was soon pressing tightly against her, with both his hips and the rest of his body. She tightened her arms around his shoulders, pressing her face into the nape of his neck while he did the same to her. He sloppily kissed the side of her face, still murmuring her name and moving slowly.

When he finally stilled he collapsed on top of her. Their chests were mashed together, the pressure of his weight weighing down on Hermione as she tried to slow her racing heart. Realizing that she was trapped beneath him, Remus rolled over, pulling out in one fluid motion. She could really feel the wetness now that he was no longer inside of her, but she chose to ignore the slightly uncomfortable fluids. Remus didn't seem to care, so neither would she.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer and kissing her temple. She turned to face him at her side, smiling with something akin to awe.

"You okay?" he asked, chuckling.

"Yeah," she breathed, letting out a huff of happy laughter and nodding quickly, "that was amazing."

"Hmm," he twisted his lips, "I disagree. It was actually rather mind-blowing for me."

"Really," she raised a brow skeptically, "mind-blowing sex on my first try? I don't know if I can believe that."

"You'd better believe it," he responded instantly, kissing her lips. After a long, drawn-out kiss, he pulled back, his head falling onto the pillow and his gaze shifting up to the ceiling. "I've always heard people say that werewolves are extremely compatible sexual partners, but for some reason I never believed it until now."

_So this isn't what it's like for everyone?_ Hermione wasn't going to complain; it seemed like she'd gotten quite a good deal out of the whole werewolf thing.

She was suddenly feeling drowsy, lying against Remus' chest, their legs intertwined beneath the covers. "Tired?" he asked, noticing her drooping eyelids.

Hermione nodded. "We should sleep."

He chuckled. "I agree. Goodnight, Hermione." He punctuated these words with a tightening of his arm around her waist and another quick kiss.

"Goodnight, Remus," she mumbled back, burrowing her face between the pillow and his arm, feeling more at peace than ever before.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm quite happy at the moment because we've just hit 100,000 words (yay!) and this story is officially the most reviewed fic I have (double yay!). Leave me a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter? As always, I love hearing what you all think and what you hope to see for future chapters.


	25. Trouble in Paradise

**XXV**

Trouble in Paradise

* * *

"Hermione."

The young werewolf drifted into consciousness slowly, feeling a shifting in the space beside her. Hermione groaned, opening her eyes and arching her back in a languid stretch.

She heard a rumbling laugh from her right. Cracking one eye open, she spotted Remus watching her. He had a lighthearted smile on his face, only dimly visible in the darkness.

"It's too early," she mumbled groggily, flipping over and burying her face into the pillow.

"I know." He was moving closer, and she felt his lips press to her naked shoulder. She was completely naked. All the memories of the previous night suddenly came rushing back. She couldn't help the smile that graced her lips, happiness rising in her chest and clenching her heart.

"You have to go back to your room soon," he said quietly, his lips still making their way across her shoulder.

She turned to face him. _Remus_. Never had she felt more of a sense of belonging, of someone else belonging to her. "I don't want to go back to my room," she whispered. With uncoordinated movements, she shuffled closer to him, pulling the sheets away so that her arms could wrap around his shoulders, her body pressing against his.

His erection was semi-hard against her lower stomach. She wiggled closer, feeling it harden with every movement. It turned her on, the idea of what she did to him.

He let out a quiet groan. "Sunrise is in a half-hour or so. We have until then."

She knew that he was right. After sunrise the others would start waking up. "Well," she sighed, trying to make her voice a little deeper, more suggestive, "we should make use of this half-hour then."

He smiled, his hand running over her waist and hips before pausing. "Are you sore?"

After shifting her hips and legs in appraisal she felt it. There was a dull ache whenever she moved in a certain way. "A little," she answered, "nothing I can't handle, though."

His darkening eyes made her insides clench. How was it possible, she wondered, that just a few looks and touches from him could affect her so greatly?

Keeping true to his promising smile, his hands drifted down from her hips, fluttering over her stomach and reaching the small thatch of hair at her center. His knee pressed between her legs, and she lifted her thigh above his. With the increased wiggle room, his fingers slinked lower. She let out a shaky breath when his hand met her center. She was wet.

Not liking that he had the upper hand, Hermione unclasped her hand from his shoulder, drifting down to his lower stomach. At the first feel of her hand on his cock he shuddered. She gripped him tightly, sliding her thumb over the tip and collecting the drop of moisture.

His fingers continued to circle her clit while she shifted her hand up and down over his erection. Their breathing grew heavy together, eyes meeting and holding each other's gaze. Eventually Remus rested his forehead against her shoulder, his free hand coming up to cup her breast, rolling her nipple between his fingers. She let out a low moan.

Remus started thrusting into her hand erratically, but not before his fingers twisted in an expert move. She gasped at the sudden stab of pleasure.

They came together, both gasping and pulling each other closer. Hermione felt the hot liquid spew into her hand and onto the sheets between them. When her orgasm subsided she let her head fall back onto the pillow, breathing heavily. He kissed her shoulder, then her lips. The kiss was filled with teeth and tongue and neither cared that they probably needed to brush their teeth and wash off the sweat they'd worked up the night before.

After kissing her for a long moment, he pulled back, fumbling for his wand in the dark and cleaning both of them up with a flick. She settled her head onto his chest after, while he placed his wand back on the nightstand and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"You're amazing."

She smiled. "You are too."

"I wish we didn't have to hide this," he murmured, "I wish I didn't have to send you back to your room each morning."

Hermione nodded her agreement. They probably had a good ten minutes until she should leave. "Eventually," she mused, tracing one of scars that stretched across his abdomen, "you won't have to anymore."

* * *

Remus watched Hermione as she leaned over the cauldron, wisps of smoke rising in small puffs and obscuring her face slightly. Slowly, with a stirring rod in her left hand, she dropped the chopped Monkshood into the potion. Once the Monkshood was added, there was a limited time to complete the rest of the process. Immediately, Hermione set to work. Remus glanced over at Severus across the lab. He looked almost… _anxious_. It was an unusual expression on Severus, but to be fair, Remus was quite anxious as well. This was a very important potion to their research.

After almost two weeks of research at the Estate, and even more research in the months before term ended, they had discovered that it seemed a lovage branch was the key. Lovage, while mainly being an ingredient in Confusion or Befuddlement Draughts, could also be altered to replace the normal mind-altering ingredients in the Wolfsbane. Hermione believed that with Lovage, the potion would be more receptive to other ingredients, finally allowing them to implement the body sustaining part of the potion. In other words, this potion, this final test, would tell them if all their work up to here had been good for something.

Yes, it was fair for Severus to be anxious. The Potions Master stood over his own cauldron – something Dumbledore had asked him to brew – his eyes never leaving Hermione and Remus.

"Remus," Hermione murmured, her eyes still focused on the contents of the cauldron as she stirred. Her right hand extended to him, "goblet, please."

He obliged, grabbing a small goblet and holding it out. She ladled about two scoops of the orange colored potion into the goblet. Remus caught a whiff of the potion now that it was in his hands. It smelled like pine. He didn't want to ask Hermione or Severus whether that was a good sign or not, but he figured that it wasn't. Wolfsbane wasn't supposed to smell like anything, especially not something that pleasant. He wondered if the lovage had neutralized the potion in its entirety.

"Alright," Hermione sighed, stepping back and lowering the flame beneath the cauldron to a low simmer, "I think we're ready to test it." She was nibbling her lip between her teeth, and there was a crease between her brows that always appeared when she was deep in thought. She was just as unsure as Remus was about this. He wanted to reach out a hand and smooth down the worried crinkle, kiss her lips in placation. But he didn't; Severus was standing only a few steps away.

Remus set down the goblet, reaching into the cupboard beneath them to fetch the two vials of blood they had left. One was Hermione's, the other Severus'. When Hermione had explained to him the need to draw hers and Severus' blood he'd felt quite uncomfortable, but with time he understood how necessary it really was. At least she wasn't testing the potion by actually _drinking_ it.

The vial of blood labeled '_Human Sample_' was opened first. Remus held it while Hermione poured only a few drops of the potion into it. The burgundy red blood darkened momentarily before reverting to normal. _That's good_, Remus thought, _a normal reaction to human blood_.

The reaction that mattered the most was Hermione's blood. Remus opened the vial labeled '_Lycan Sample_' and extended it to her. She took a deep breath before tipping the goblet of the potion, letting three drops fall into the vial of her own blood.

A glance at Hermione's open notebook on the table told Remus that they were hoping for no visible reaction. If there wasn't a visible reaction, Hermione would cast a spell that told them the potency of the potion mixed with her blood. If the potency was high enough, then it was a success.

There wasn't even a need to cast the potency spell. Just as the drops of the altered Wolfsbane hit the blood, it darkened in color, just like it had done with Severus' blood. Hermione's shoulders sagged, her mouth opening slightly in surprise. "That can't be," she murmured quietly, shakily. A second later she'd fetched her wand and performed the potency charm. Remus glanced up at Severus, who was shaking his head sadly. It was a failure.

"_No_," Hermione whispered. Remus glanced down at the vial, now a bright green color from Hermione's spell. Green indicated that the potency was virtually nothing. It truly had been a failure.

Her wand hand dropped to her side, her eyes darting from the vial to her notebook on the table. She pounced on the book, skimming pages, flipping through them with abandon. "We must have done something wrong," she murmured, talking to herself more than Remus or Severus, "one of the ingredients must have been spoiled, or-"

"It didn't work."

Severus' deep voice surprised Remus. He hadn't spoken all day. Hermione glanced up from the notebook, a challenging look on her face. Severus stepped away from his cauldron, examining Hermione's notebook and then the Wolfsbane in her cauldron. "You did everything right," he said with conviction, "but it didn't work."

Hermione inhaled shakily. Remus extended a hand to her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Hermione."

"_No_," she shook his hand off, stepping away from her notebook and pressing her hand to her forehead. "I- I must have done something wrong!" Her tone was shrill.

"Hermione," Severus spoke. Remus didn't think he'd ever heard the man refer to her by her first name. "There's a reason the Wolfsbane is the way it is. Perhaps it isn't possible to alter it like this. Some things just can't be done with a potion."

"So what?" she looked at him questioningly, "you think I should just give up?"

He didn't respond for a few seconds, but finally nodded.

"I can't give up!" She exclaimed, looking at Remus and then back at Severus.

Remus felt a terrible ache in his chest. His voice was low and placating when he spoke. "Perhaps we should take a break, Hermione."

She turned to him with an angry glint in her eyes. "Don't patronize me, Remus Lupin." Her finger was pointed at him accusingly, but he could see her hand trembling.

"Hermione," he began, pleadingly, "I'm not-"

She stopped him. "You don't understand, Remus." Her tone was low and rough. "I need to do this," she placed a hand on the table to steady herself, "I need this to work. I can't take a break. I can't let this be a failure. I need you to know what life is like without these goddamn transformations!" He could hear from the hitch of her voice that she was close to crying. "I need to fix this because otherwise you will blame yourself and hate yourself forever for what you've done to me!"

He stepped forward then, reaching out to her and opening his mouth to speak.

She stepped away from him, holding a hand to stop him before he could even start. "Don't tell me you don't blame yourself, Remus," a sob tore free from her throat, "I see the guilt in your eyes nearly every day!"

He didn't let her get any further, and she didn't protest when he took two more steps forward and pulled her into his embrace. She was gasping for breath, clutching his arms and shoulders tightly. He wrapped his arms around her firmly and swallowed down the lump in his throat. With one hand he reached up and smoothed down her hair, resting his chin on the top of her head.

On the other side of the cauldron, Severus stepped back. Remus watched as the man nodded wordlessly at him, uncomfortably stepping towards the door and exiting the room.

She was crying into his shoulder now, her hands fiercely gripping the back of his jumper. He tightened his arms around her. "We don't have to give up," he murmured, "we can try again. I'm sure there's a way, and if anyone can figure it out, it's you."

She shook her head back and forth, her face still pressed against the front of his jumper. "Snape said he thinks I should give up. He's probably right, Remus."

Although he hadn't known Hermione this closely for longer than a few months, he understood her well enough to know the root of her distress over this. She'd always feared failure and rejection above nearly everything else. He vividly remembered her Boggart in her third year: Minerva telling her she'd failed all her classes. She was terrified of failure, especially when it came from the mouth of someone she admired as much as her Professor.

"No," he responded quietly, "Severus has been wrong before. We need to keep trying. What if there really is a solution out there and we just haven't found it yet?"

She sniffled, not speaking for a long moment. "You're right."

"Good," he murmured, "but let's take a break. It won't hurt if we have one or two days away from all of this."

"Okay," she said reluctantly, picking her head up, "but only one or two days."

He chuckled, reaching out a hand to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. She leaned up on her toes and kissed his lips. He returned the kiss for just a moment before pulling back. "One or two days," he agreed. "Let's go downstairs and get something to eat. I'm starving."

She let out a quiet laugh, too. "You sound like Ronald."

He released his arms around her, and together they walked towards the door.

* * *

Hermione and Remus didn't return to their research the next day, or the day after. On the third morning they sat at breakfast, determined that today was going to be the day they returned to the lab. The failure with the lovage was a major setback, but Hermione knew that there must be a solution, or at least a way to get around this particular obstacle.

"Are you sure you want to start up again today?" Remus inquired, giving her a sidelong glance from where he sat beside her at the table.

She nodded. "I'm ready to go back."

He smiled lightly, returning his focus to picking at his breakfast. Hermione looked across the table at Harry and Sirius. Harry was immersed in an animated story Sirius was telling, but Sirius had noticed the interaction between Remus and Hermione, however quiet and insignificant. Ginny appeared to have noticed as well, sending a smirk in Sirius' direction. The two of them had been far too smug lately about their knowledge of this secret. Hermione had told Ginny almost immediately the morning after that she'd had sex with Remus. Though she suspected Remus wasn't the type to disclose everything about his personal relationships to a mate, something told her Sirius could tell what had happened as well.

"So, as I was saying," Sirius continued, leaning back in his chair, "in our fifth year the new bloke that was teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts was an absolute git. Moony can attest to that, right?"

Remus hummed in affirmation, nodding into his coffee. "The man didn't even know what he was teaching. Half of my goals as a professor when I took the job were to _not_ be like him."

"Sounds like Lockheart," Ron huffed from between Ginny and Fred. Everyone took a moment to cringe at the awful education Lockheart had tried to bestow upon them.

"Anyway," Sirius sighed, "we found out sometime in the first term that he'd been president of the Gobstones Club when he attended Hogwarts."

"Naturally, James challenged him to a Gobstones match," Remus said, laughing openly.

Harry's eyes were bright with amusement as he listened to the story. Hermione was the only one to notice Draco slip into the dining room, passing Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who were talking quietly at the end of the table about something, and taking the only open seat next to Hermione.

She smiled at him. "Good morning."

"Morning," he replied, reaching for a glass and the pitcher of pumpkin juice. "Is it story time again?"

Hermione restrained a laugh. Draco thought it was funny how enthralling Harry found stories about his parents. "Stop it," she chided lightly under her breath, "it's all he has."

Draco quirked a brow, reaching for a piece of toast next, "Okay, okay, whatever you say. I just think it's funny how easily entertained Potter is." As he was bringing the toast up to his mouth, he froze, wide eyes gazing down at Hermione's shoulder.

She blanched, realizing that her t-shirt had shifted slightly, exposing the scar on her shoulder. Draco stared at the scar with alarm for two seconds before looking away. "Sorry," he mumbled under his breath.

"It's okay," Hermione replied. He'd learned the truth of her lycanthropy several days ago, but she wondered if he fully understood the implications of it.

Well, now he was faced with some solid, undeniable proof.

He looked like he wanted to say something else. When he hesitated Hermione nodded, egging him on. "Is- is that where you were bitten?" though his voice was low Hermione could tell that Remus was listening on her other side. Everyone else at the table was absorbed as Sirius regaled them with a tale of James Potter's epic Gobstones match.

"No," she shook her head, "just a scar. I was bitten near my ankle."

"Oh." His voice was uncharacteristically shrill.

"It's okay, Draco," she murmured, a hint of malice in her voice, "you don't have to feel so uncomfortable." A small part of her knew that some Pureblood ideas wouldn't fully leave Draco for a long time. He still sometimes spoke and acted like the spoiled pureblood supremacist he'd been as a child. She wondered if perhaps he remained a bit of a supremacist on the inside, uncomfortable and disgusted by her because she was a werewolf.

"No," he immediately sat up straighter, "I didn't mean to- I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to think about the fact that my father caused this."

She let out a small breath, and she thought for a moment that she could hear Remus do the same thing on her left. "It's alright. I know it's difficult for you, but… it's my life now."

He nodded, opening his mouth to say something else, but interrupted by Sirius' voice across the table.

"And believe it or not, James beat him!" Sirius said between laughs, "won the bet and everything. The bloke had to give him an O for the whole term! You should have seen how much that guy hated the lot of us for the rest of the year. More detentions than your father had ever had that year. The best part was that the next day we told the president of the Gobstones club – Amelia something – and the following week she asked James to join in front of the professor!"

Harry, Ron, Ginny, and the twins broke out into laughter. Hermione didn't quite understand why it was so funny. Neither did Draco. The pair of them just sat, staring at the others as they chuckled. They remained like that, watching the laughter across the table, until breakfast was suddenly interrupted.

The door to the dining room slammed open quite suddenly, and a disheveled Professor Snape stepped into the room. He scanned the occupants briefly. Hermione noted that he was wearing different robes than the usual type, and there was some slip of fabric tucked under his arm. She grew quite pale at the realization that he was wearing Death Eater robes and the fabric under his arm was his Death Eater mask.

"Arthur," he murmured deeply, "a word?" His eyes were focused on Mr. Weasley, but Hermione could see them dart around the table once more. Everyone was silent, staring at him in surprise or confusion. If the sight of a disheveled Professor Snape wasn't shocking enough, she was certain that a few of the others understood what the robes and the mask under his arm meant. Harry was gripping his fork with white knuckles.

"Of course," Mr. Weasley stood from the table, patting his wife's hand placatingly before following Snape out of the room.

There was complete silence for several seconds before Mrs. Weasley stood abruptly. With a flick of her wand she levitated empty plates and cups towards the end of the table. Hermione could tell the woman was pretending that all was well.

"You don't reckon…?" George mumbled across the table.

"I reckon so…" Fred replied grimly.

As if in response, Mr. Weasley entered the room once again. It couldn't have been more than a minute since he'd left. He brushed off some imaginary lint from his sleeve, sitting back down at the table.

"Dad?" Ginny questioned lightly.

Mr. Weasley fixed his daughter with a long look, his eyes then roving over everyone at the table, pausing at Draco for a second too long. "Severus has been called," he said at last.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I decided to post this chapter just a little early as a sort of thank-you after you all left me so many lovely reviews on the last chapter. I'm really so grateful that so many people read and enjoy this story. As for this chapter, we're very close to hitting 400 reviews. Can we get there?


	26. Let It Lie

**XXVI**

Let It Lie

* * *

After Snape was called Hermione and Remus spent the whole day working in his lab. Hermione needed to do something, to busy herself. The past few days had been relaxing, but now she had to get back to work. Especially after that morning's events and the harsh dose of reality that Snape's departure imparted upon her.

Remus and Hermione were both distracted, however, and not much was achieved throughout the day. Most of their time in the lab was spent attempting to straighten out some possible sources of error of the old potion and to theorize how these problems could be fixed.

A knocking at the door to the lab sometime around four o'clock interrupted their work. It was Draco. He informed them stonily that Snape was back, and that Dumbledore was there as well. Before he could say anything else Remus and Hermione were rushing out of the lab and descending the great staircase.

They arrived at the bottom of the stairs just as Sirius pulled Harry and Ron from the Drawing room.

"What's going on?" Ron asked, "We were in the middle of a game of chess!"

Hermione shushed Ron. "Dumbledore's here." Behind her, Draco nodded in confirmation.

"Where were you guys?" Harry inquired, looking at Remus, Hermione, and Draco curiously.

"Working in Professor Snape's lab," Hermione answered. The boys knew that she and Remus had been doing a log of brewing lately, but they thought it was just simple potions, helping Snape with the Wolfsbane, and refilling his stock. Little did they know it was so much more.

"You lot should probably go into the kitchen," Draco murmured, arms crossed as he leaned against the staircase railing, "you're going to want to see this."

Hermione perked up, remembering that Snape was back and Dumbledore was here as well. Dumbledore's presence meant that an Order meeting had been called, and an Order meeting meant something important was happening. She followed Harry toward the large dining room, Sirius, Remus, and Ron trailing behind. Draco remained standing in the entry hall, murmuring after a moment that he was going to help his mother tend to the rose garden. Obviously the Malfoys were not welcome at the Order meeting.

Many voices floated in from the dining room. It sounded like the rest of the household was present. Hermione recognized the voices of Professor McGonagall, Mad-Eye, and Kingsley among the others.

Harry opened the door, and only when he stepped into the room did Hermione get a clear view of who was inside. She was sure her jaw dropped at the sight before her. Sitting at the dining room table, Molly Weasley fussing over them and Ginny at their side, were Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, and Lavender Brown.

"L-Lavender?" Ron sputtered out, stopping dead in his tracks and forcing Sirius to walk straight into his back.

"_Won-won_!" Lavender nearly squealed, jumping up from her seat at the table and running towards the shocked ginger, wrapping her arms around his neck emphatically. "I was so frightened, but I'm _so_ glad you're here now."

"Oh yes, _Won-Won_," George imitated, a grin plastered on his face.

"We're so glad you're here to be reunited with your _lovely_ girlfriend." Fred's devious smile matched that of his twin.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other, barely muffling their laughter. It was no secret that Ron and Lavender's relationship had been on the rocks since before Graduation. However, Lavender appeared to be rather clueless about this fact.

"Lavender has been excited to see Ron again," Luna's said factually, watching Lavender continue to cling to her boyfriend.

"_Very excited_," Hermione heard Neville mumble under his breath.

Suddenly, it hit Hermione how strange it was that these three were present… just after Snape was called to Voldemort… and now Snape was standing at the other end of the table talking to Dumbledore and McGonagall, looking dour and irritated…

Sirius and Remus took their seats at the table while Hermione, Harry, and Ron greeted Luna, Neville, and Lavender.

"Let's all take a seat," Dumbledore said, addressing the whole room. Everyone quieted down at his words, ready and eager to hear the explanation of what turn of events led to this.

"Severus," Dumbledore turned to the man, still wearing his Death Eater robes, "would you care to explain?"

Snape kept a straight, stern expression. "I believe you are capable of appropriately summarizing, Albus."

Dumbledore bristled, but acquiesced. Turning to face the rest of the Order, he began to speak, "As many of you know, Severus was called early this morning to a Death Eater gathering. Voldemort has grown more desperate than ever, especially since most of the Order and Harry's close friends have disappeared into hiding. It appears that he has thus decided it is time to resort to other… attacks."

Harry was sitting stiffly in his seat beside Hermione. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he turned to Neville, Luna, and Lavender, appraising them. She did the same, wondering if they had been attacked or harmed in any way. She felt sick at the idea that Voldemort was expanding his attacks, targeting other people in this mad attempt to get to Harry. It was awful.

"Luckily, no one was hurt. Severus discovered that Lucius Malfoy located and targeted Miss Lovegood this morning and he proceeded to inform me immediately after finding out."

Hermione looked to Professor Snape. He wore the usual stoic expression, staring down at the tabletop as if it was something worth studying.

Dumbledore continued, "a few hours ago I sent Nymphadora and Alastor to retrieve Miss Lovegood from her home. After determining that Mr. Longbottom and Miss Brown were also being targeted, we sent out for them as well."

Hermione could nearly feel the torrent of thoughts passing through Harry's mind. She was sure they were thinking the same thing: how many more people would they shove away into hiding places before they actually faced this war? They couldn't keep this up forever; there were only so many rooms in the Estate.

"So there weren't any attacks?" Ron asked, his voice meek. At his side, Lavender was still hanging onto his arm.

Dumbledore shook his head. "Nymphadora and Alastor were able to work very quickly."

"What about their families?" Harry asked.

"The Death Eaters were planning to use magical signature tracking to locate their targets. They only planned to trace the signatures of Miss Lovegood, Miss Brown, and Mr. Longbottom, not their families. Now that these three are safe here at the Estate within the wards, their signatures cannot be traced. We've spoken to their parents, all of whom consented to this and decided that they felt safe remaining in their own homes."

"Will Professor Snape go back the next time he's called?" Hermione found herself asking this question before she could hesitate. Snape looked up from the table for a split second, making eye contact with her before looking away.

"Of course he will," Mad-Eye cut in, "we need a spy."

"It's dangerous," Remus spoke up, voicing Hermione's concerns, "he'll be suspected of interfering. What if he's discovered?"

Dumbledore glanced between Remus and Hermione. "Severus will return the next time he is called. I'm certain he can handle any suspicion and remain undetected."

Hermione felt her temper rising. "What if he can't? Are you willing to just throw his safety away?" She could feel the eyes of Neville, Luna, and Lavender on her. They all looked completely befuddled.

Snape glared at her sharply when she spoke, as if angry that she'd even considered being worried about his safety. _God, what is wrong with everyone?_

"He's saving other people," Mr. Weasley interjected, "Severus has agreed to risk his safety for the furthering of our cause in this war."

Hermione felt her rigid stance deflating. People were looking at her.

She was surprised to note that it was Harry who spoke next. "But surely this can't go on forever."

"And it won't," Snape said, speaking for the first time in several minutes. "This war will end, but until then, it is not the business of anyone here to worry about _my_ safety." His words were sharp, and suddenly he stood from his chair, stalking out of the room with one last irritated glare at Hermione.

Hermione wanted to scream at Snape. He could be such a bloody prat sometimes. Why did she even bother trying to be nice to him when he was going to act like _that_? She slumped back in her chair.

The room was silent for a beat before Dumbledore called their attention again. "Severus consented to this risk. He understood the possible consequences, and it appears that the mission was successful. Nymphadora and Alastor had no encounters with Death Eaters, and left no traces of their interference." His tone left an impression of finality; this conversation was over. Hermione felt very, very angry with Dumbledore at that moment. She crossed her arms tightly and tried to think calm thoughts.

Dumbledore ended the impromptu meeting not long after this. Tension hung heavy in the air as he explained that Neville, Luna, and Lavender would be staying at the Estate until conditions outside improved and that Snape would continue to report any plans the Death Eaters or Voldemort made.

After the meeting ended, Hermione followed Harry as he led them into the drawing room. A conversation needed to take place, and she knew Harry was planning on it once they had some privacy. Ginny, Ron, the twins, Neville, Luna, and – to Ron's apparent dismay – Lavender came along as well.

The drawing room was ominously quiet for a long moment until Neville shut the door behind him. Hermione put up a quick silencing charm, turning to Harry.

"So you guys weren't hurt or anything?" Harry asked, looking to the three newest additions of the household.

All three shook their heads.

"Can I ask something?" Neville's voice was meek and rather quiet.

"Of course, Neville," Ginny replied.

He spoke slowly, as if considering his words with great caution, "No one actually told us where we are… Whose house is this? And why did we see Draco Malfoy when we were walking in?"

"This is Professor Snape's house," Hermione explained, "it was his mother's family's, it's called the Prince Estate. Draco was here because he and his mother, Narcissa, came into hiding with us."

Neville and Lavender looked alarmed. Luna simply wore an expression of sympathetic understanding.

"B-but, Malfoy's a _Slytherin_," Lavender sputtered.

Luna spoke up, for the first time in several moments. "My father always said that times of war and strife bring forth the most unlikely friendships, even Slytherin to Gryffindor. Just look at how Hermione defended Professor Snape."

Hermione smiled thankfully at the blonde Ravenclaw, feeling only slightly embarrassed about her adamant defense of Snape.

The discussion essentially ended there. Hermione knew that she needed to speak with Harry later, and she would definitely make sure he spoke to Sirius and Remus about this as well. But for now, they all needed a break. Hermione removed her silencing charm from the doorway and flicked the door to the drawing room open. Surprisingly enough, Draco was standing there, Remus and Sirius a few feet behind him.

"I told them they just had to wait awhile," Draco said pompously, slipping past Hermione and plopping down onto one of the armchairs. Fred and George immediately struck up a conversation with him about one of their WWW products. Apparently Draco was quite interested in the business, and the twins had always liked having some sort of consultation. Lavender and Neville watched Draco's casual demeanor closely.

"Good job back there." A pat on her shoulder drew Hermione out of her assessment of the rest of the room. It was Sirius. She turned to see both him and Remus standing before her in the doorway.

"Thanks," she muttered, giving Sirius her best smile. "I think you ought to speak to Harry about it, though."

"Just what I was about to do, love," Sirius chirped, flashing her a smile before setting off towards Harry, Ron, and Ginny, who sat by the fire.

Hermione was alone with Remus now. She longed to reach out and touch him, grasp his hand or lean her head against his shoulder. But she couldn't.

"Let's sit," Remus spoke suddenly, placing the lightest of touches on the small of her back in a motion to lead her into the room. They sat down at the couch, near Neville and Luna, joining the conversation. While Neville and Luna both looked rather curious at the fact that Professor Lupin was casually sitting there beside Hermione, they warmed up to him quickly. Remus asked Neville and Luna about what they'd been doing since school had ended, how the outside world was these days. The conversation lasted late into the night.

* * *

The sun had set about an hour ago and most of the house had grown quiet. Hermione enjoyed this time in the evening, especially when she and Remus had the library to themselves like they did tonight. Some of the others were in the drawing room a few doors down, chatting and catching up with the newest arrivals at the Estate. The library, however, was left to Hermione and Remus alone. Hermione planned on a nice evening spent with a few relaxing books to read late into the night. All she needed to make the evening perfect was a hot cup of tea.

It was with this in mind that Hermione slipped out of the library and made her way towards the kitchen. When she arrived in the kitchen, she spotted the familiar bright pink hair of Tonks as she stood beside the counter.

"Wotcher, Hermione," Tonks greeted, a cheery smile on her face. "You here for tea as well?"

Hermione nodded, spotting the kettle that was slowly heating up as Tonks made herself tea.

"I'll pour you a cup," Tonks said, grabbing another mug from the cupboard next to her.

"Thank you." Hermione stood on the opposite end of the kitchen, leaning up against a cupboard.

"So how's Remus?" Tonks asked conversationally.

The question sounded innocent, but if there was any deeper meaning behind it Hermione was sure her sputtering "Wh-what?" gave Tonks a reason for suspicion.

The Metamorphmagus chuckled, "No need to freak out. I was just wondering. I promise I won't tell anyone." With these words, she winked.

"Y-you know?" Hermione asked, her brows knitting together in confusion and concern. The kettle was starting to whistle faintly.

She nodded. "I'm an Auror, Hermione. Plus, Remus' bedroom is only across the hall from mine."

Hermione felt her face flame.

Tonks continued, "It's obvious that you two have grown closer. I figured out that it might be a little something more a few nights ago when I saw you leaving his room."

Hermione winced, internally chiding herself for not being more careful. The thing that surprised her the most about this moment was Tonks' amused smile. She didn't look suspicious or angry. "You're okay with it?" she asked after a moment.

The kettle's whistling had taken on a new, more offensive pitch. Tonks turned and pulled it off the old stove, pouring for a moment before handing Hermione a steaming mug. "Of course I'm okay with it. You thought I wouldn't be? It's not like you're his student anymore, and I know Remus well enough to know that this must have started after you graduated."

"Of course," Hermione interjected, feeling the pressing need to assure Tonks that they had never been in a relationship while she was his student. Tonks smiled warmly, and Hermione had the strangest feeling that Tonks was _happy_ for her and Remus. "I- I thought…" Hermione struggled to piece the words together, "I thought you and Remus…"

"_Me and Remus_?" Tonks asked, genuine surprise in her tone. "Why?"

Hermione fumbled with the mug in her hand, fingers tracing the rim and tapping the sides. "I just- you used to flirt with him a bit and I thought…" Hermione laughed slightly as she said this, realizing how ridiculous this sounded.

Tonks joined her in laughter. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I had no idea I was doing that. I flirt with everyone, or… most people, at least. Merlin, you must have thought I was trying to steal him from you!"

Hermione laughed nervously, letting on but not actually admitting that she _had_ been thinking that. "It all seems very petty of me when I look back at it," she murmured, staring down into her steaming tea.

"I'm sure any woman would feel at least a little bit threatened. I'm sorry I flirted."

Hermione shook her head. "It's fine, really."

Tonks stepped closer, lowering her voice. "If you want to know what I think, though, Remus would never even consider another woman while he's with you. You should see the way he looks at you sometimes. Like you're the most amazing person to ever walk this earth."

Hermione felt a blush rise in her cheeks. "Really?"

"Of course," Tonks affirmed. "Now," she took a deep breath, collecting her mug of tea, "I should leave you to get back to him. He's probably wondering what's kept you so long."

Tonks exited the kitchen, smiling cheerfully at Hermione once more over her shoulder. Hermione went back to the library a few moments later, relieved that things had gone so well. She wondered if it was possible that everyone would react to their relationship like Tonks had.

They could only hope.

* * *

It was long past midnight. Remus' bedroom was darkened and silent. The only noise was a soft, deep breathing to Remus' left.

Remus was conflicted. Calling this anything else would be a gross understatement. His eyes fell on Hermione's slumbering form, his chest tight with all the adverse emotions he was feeling.

She was sound asleep. He would probably have to wake her up in a few hours and send her back to her room. It was just a little after midnight. The moon hung high in the sky, its light cascading through the window, casting itself onto the two naked bodies.

Over the past several days Remus had tried to reconcile his relationship with Hermione in at least a hundred different ways. He worried about what was going on between them often. Whenever he was with her his doubt and worry usually faded, but it typically came back as soon as he was alone or around the other members of the house.

Just this past evening at dinner he'd found himself sitting next to Hermione. She'd smiled at him warmly and he'd brushed his fingers against hers briefly under the table. Immediately after he regretted it, looking up at the people surrounding him. He couldn't imagine what Molly or Arthur would say if they found out. He couldn't imagine the looks he would get – disgust and outrage and loathing and everything in between.

The other day they'd worked in the greenhouse together for a long time, tending to the plants and enjoying their time together in the light of day (something they'd barely ever had any of). Remus found that during that hour or two sitting in the greenhouse he'd been happier than ever. She made him happy, and it wasn't just because of the fact that they both had these odd calming effects on each other.

He'd hugged her and kissed her in the greenhouse, receiving the most brilliant smile from her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and flirted laughingly. It had been happy. She was the closest thing to happiness that he'd ever imagined getting in his life.

He didn't know why, in particular, she had become so special to him. There were many possible reasons for his attraction to her. He could hear them in his head, as if Molly Weasley or Albus or Minerva were rattling them off chidingly. He only wanted her because she was young and pretty and naïve and he could take advantage of her. He only wanted her because she paid him attention, because she wanted him. He only wanted her because he liked the _idea_ of her. He only wanted her because she was a werewolf and he felt bad for changing her.

Remus was sat up against the headboard, the duvet pulled up to his waist and a pillow under his back. Hermione was sprawled out on her stomach, limbs spread wide under the covers, one arm draped across Remus' lap. Her head was turned in his direction. She looked even younger in sleep. It made Remus feel old and terrible.

He leaned his head backwards, staring up at the ceiling and swallowing dryly. Was he a terrible person? Was he a lecherous old man taking advantage of a young girl with a crush? It certainly felt like it right now.

If anyone were to walk into his room at this moment they'd find the two of them, naked and in bed together, Hermione asleep and unknowing of what was going on around her. Remus would certainly be kicked out of the Estate in an instant. Dumbledore would give him one of those lectures of disapproval. Molly would probably scream at him. Harry would look horrified. Hermione and Sirius would likely defend him, and Ginny as well.

But he'd still be the older man who took advantage of his younger student. Sure, she was nearly nineteen and he'd prevented anything sexual from happening until she was no longer his student, but that wouldn't stop the speculation.

Molly would probably want to contact Hermione's parents. Remus grimaced at the thought of having to speak to Hermione's father, a man probably closer in age to himself than he was to Hermione. He'd met Hermione's parents on the day of Graduation and already felt dreadful without them even knowing a thing.

Remus rubbed his face with his hands, trying to will all of these thoughts away. His movement must have woken Hermione, because she began to stir. He watched her shift under the blankets, her bare shoulder with its long, white scar coming into view. He'd given that scar to her. He wondered if he would ever stop hating himself for it.

She opened her eyes finally. "Why are you awake?" she murmured groggily.

"Just thinking," he replied.

She shifted, reaching out a hand to grasp his, entwining their fingers. "You look upset."

Remus glanced once more at the long scar on her shoulder. She saw him looking and squeezed his hand, gazing up at him with such open, painful earnestness. "Is this what you're upset about?" she motioned to the scar on her shoulder. "Nobody could ever possibly blame you for this, Remus. Nobody who knew you and understood the situation could blame you for any of this."

He had a feeling she wasn't only talking about the scar.

There was a long break of silence before Hermione spoke again. "There's a war going on. We have to survive it, and if this is how we chose to survive it, then let it be." Her insight into what he was worried about was shocking. "Let yourself be happy."

He sighed deeply and sank from his seated position so that he was lying beside her. Now eye-level with her, he focused deeply on her kind, confident face. "You do realize how frightening this is for me, right?" he asked, lifting a hand to pull some hair away from her face. "You're so young, Hermione, and you were my student. You realize why that scares me, right?"

"I know," she said, almost wearily, "it's terrifying because you know what people would say and a part of you wonders if it's true."

He was taken aback by how acutely she seemed to know his thoughts.

"It's not true," she breathed, shifting towards him and pressing her forehead against his chest, "and nothing else matters at all except winning this war, and trying to make our lives meaningful while we wait for it all to end."

He wrapped his arms around her bare back, pulling her closer against him. Her hair tickled his chin as she nested her head in the crook of his neck. He simply held her like that for a long time.

It was on that night that Remus decided he wasn't going to try and reconcile this anymore. He was just going to let it lie and be happy and make her happy. There was no use in worrying about anything else anymore. He only wanted to win this war and to make Hermione Granger happy, and something deep inside told him that Hermione's happiness was all he would ever need to be happy as well.

It would be okay. The sun would rise in a few hours and it would all be okay.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the delay on this one, but I had a very busy week and this was a tough chapter to finish. Anyway, thanks so much for getting us past 400 reviews on the last chapter! I'm constantly in awe of how wonderful all of you are. What did everyone think about the arrival of Neville, Luna, and Lavender?


	27. Back to the Books

**XXVII**

Back to the Books

* * *

As the next few days passed, the Prince Estate household grew more and more used to having its newest additions. Neville, Luna, and Lavender all found the Estate quite comfortable after getting over the simple fact that Professor Snape owned it.

Lavender and Ron were obviously going through a bit of a rough patch, but they were still inseparable. Neville got along quite well with nearly everyone, especially Luna. As for Luna, she was still the same as always. Sirius thought she was hilarious. Draco always left the room when she entered, especially after one night at dinner when she'd started speaking about his "aura of loneliness."

Neville, Luna, and Lavender were naturally included in the dueling sessions held outside. As the three integrated themselves more into the daily routine at the Estate, some issues were also brought to light. Namely: Hermione's lycanthropy. By about the fifth day of their residence, she was sick of someone mentioning offhandedly – usually Sirius – something about hers and Remus' wolfish tendencies. One night after dinner, while everyone was sitting in the drawing room, Hermione decided to tell Neville, Lavender, and Luna the truth about her lycanthropy.

She explained what had happened- why Lucius Malfoy was a sore subject around the house and why Ginny had been in the Hospital Wing a few weeks before the term ended. She briefly explained what it was like to be a werewolf now, and how she wasn't very different except for a few symptoms around the full moon. Lavender and Neville were stunned silent.

Luna, as always, had a quick and surprisingly perceptive response. "I suspected something was different," the Ravenclaw replied, "especially since you and Professor Lupin are such good friends now."

Hermione was certain she was blushing. Across the room, Remus sat beside Sirius, but his eyes were trained on her. His brow quirked with amusement.

"Thank you, Luna," Hermione replied, giving the girl a truly grateful smile.

Neville and Lavender were shocked, but within a few hours Neville was much more understanding and back to his normal self. Lavender, however, still looked at Hermione days later as if she couldn't quite understand her. It both unnerved and angered Hermione, but after a long conversation with Remus one night, she realized that Lavender would probably be the first of many people who would look at her differently in the future. She had to accept it. At least Lavender wasn't giving her looks of disgust or openly spewing hatred at her. Hermione cried when Remus told her stories about some of the things people had said to him when he was younger.

Several days later, Neville wandered into the greenhouse while Hermione and Remus were inside.

"Oh," he stuttered, "I-I didn't know anyone would be in here."

"It's okay, Neville," Hermione replied, continuing to trim the leaves of the hellebore plant before her. "Come in. Do you want to help us?" Beside her, Remus was moving the milkweed pot to the floor. There was a smear of dirt across his forehead that Hermione couldn't help but smile fondly at.

"Sure," Neville replied, stepping further into the greenhouse. "From the outside you wouldn't expect that this place is being kept up."

"Well," Remus sighed, "you can thank Hermione for that. I just do what she tells me."

"Are you making Wolfsbane?" Neville asked suddenly, glancing around at all the plants. Plenty of them were ingredients in the Wolfsbane potion.

Hermione nodded. "Do you want to help?" She'd been thinking about asking Neville about this for a few days, and last night Remus had told her that it was an excellent idea. "We're actually working on a bit of a project. Maybe you could help with that too."

"I'd love to," Neville exclaimed, looking around the greenhouse as if he felt perfectly, sublimely at home.

"Great," Hermione grinned, beginning to show Neville what plants they had around the greenhouse. "We have about as much aconite as we can grow at once over there," she pointed to the back wall of the greenhouse, "and then here we have our ferns and basic ingredient plants over there," she pointed to the other two walls.

"Is this lovage?" he inquired, fingering the leaves of one of the smaller plants.

Hermione nodded, weighing her options for a moment and then deciding that it was best to just explain everything about their project to Neville.

So she did, telling about her work to trying to alter the Wolfsbane potion, experimenting with ingredients and trying to stop the physical transformation from occurring with the potion. "We've actually been having some trouble with the lovage," she murmured, glancing at Remus and remembering her breakdown last week. "I thought it would work quite perfectly as a substitute for the thistle extract, allowing us to retain some of the brain function abilities while also working on the physical transformation. But it didn't work..."

Neville was still fingering the leaves of the plant. "How did you prepare it?" He sounded almost like Professor Snape, assessing her potion-making abilities. Everyone knew that Neville Longbottom was complete rubbish at Potion Making, so she wondered what he knew about preparing the lovage plant.

"I just added small branch directly to the potion," she supplied quickly, "that's how it's always prepared."

He nodded. "You're probably right, but I'm just thinking… well- never mind. It's probably wrong."

"No!" Hermione blurted, "What is it? We're sort of desperate at this point. I'm willing to try anything."

Neville looked at Remus and Hermione, took a breath, and then spoke. "I read a journal of this Russian Herbologist a few months ago. He was studying Herbology and Potion Making in the Crimean Mountains. Part of his main study in the journal claimed that lovage is the key to many versatile mind-altering potions. It sounds a lot like what you're trying to do here. The difference was that he always said the only way to get the potion to function properly was by dipping chopped lovage root in a strengthening solution, letting it dry out, and then putting it in your potion."

Hermione thought about what he said, eyeing the plant before them. She'd never considered using the root, or doing anything to alter the composition of the root. _A strengthening solution_. It was genius!

"It might just be stupid," Neville began.

"No," she cut him off, looking to Remus and then back to Neville, "It's brilliant! I think it might work. I have to go get my journal from the lab."

Before Neville or Remus had time to say or do anything else, she was bursting out of the greenhouse, running back into the house and up to Snape's lab to grab her notebook.

When she returned to the lab Remus and Neville were chatting awkwardly, looking uncertain about what was going on until Hermione burst back inside. "What are you waiting for? We have work to do!"

The rest of the day was spent revising all of Hermione's notes and working with Neville's newly offered insight to devise a brand new plan.

* * *

Remus was mumbling something. Hermione could hear his quickened breaths and deep, incoherent words. She opened her eyes, turning around in bed and looking at the sleeping man beside her.

He was thrashing lightly under the sheets. Hermione could only make out one word among the slew of incoherent murmuring: her name.

"Hermione," he mumbled, arm reaching out in her direction. His hand brushed against her arm, grasping her wrist and pulling her closer to him. The murmuring continued, her name growing louder on his lips, his voice becoming more and more distressed. Soon he was clutching her arm, pulling her against his frame.

"Remus," she whispered, "wake up."

He stirred, but didn't open his eyes.

"Remus," she repeated, this time picking up her free hand and placing it on the side of his face. When her palm brushed against the prickly skin of his jaw, his eyes opened. The deep, darkened tint of his eyes startled her. He searched her face, looking astonished. His grip on her arm tightening even more. It was almost painful.

Suddenly he pulled her closer, loosening his grip on her arm and hugging her instead. His face buried in her hair and his arms looped her waist. Hermione hesitantly placed her arms around his neck, noting his heavy breathing and racing heartbeat. "What was it?" she inquired after a moment, "you had a dream about something."

He was still wrapped around her. His voice was muffled when he pressed his face against her neck. "I was back in the Forbidden Forest. You- _God_, Hermione- you were dead."

A sudden painful tightness gripped her chest. However vague his description was, she could clearly see his dream in her mind: she would be dead on the cold ground of the forest, ravaged by a mindless werewolf. Remus would awaken to find her there and taste the tang of her blood in his mouth.

"It's okay," she hummed, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, "I'm okay."

He let out a ragged breath, warm air brushing against the skin of her neck. "I haven't had that dream in a long time."

She frowned. "You've had it before?"

He nodded, pulling back and meeting her eyes. His were still dark, not the usual bright shade of green. "I used to have it often. Back at Hogwarts… for a while after it happened."

Her chest tightened further. He must have been so _miserable_. He was so afraid of himself, of what he was capable of. She saw glimpses of that at times like these, in the middle of the night, when he truly opened up to her like this. He was looking into her eyes with such open emotion.

He leaned back into the mattress suddenly, his eyes turning towards the ceiling and his head resting on the pillow. Hermione lay on her side for a moment before sliding forward and curling up beside him.

"I'm sorry that you were so tortured by all of this," she whispered, staring up at the dark ceiling. It was late- probably two or three AM. The half moon would be hanging high in the night sky outside, dimly shining down on the Estate.

"You shouldn't feel bad about it," he said.

"But I do," she replied quickly, "I don't want you to have to feel this way. I don't want you to have to fear yourself."

He let out a quiet breath. Hermione thought about how much she needed to find her cure for Lycanthropy. She needed to finish the potion and she needed to do it soon.

"Thank you, Hermione," he whispered after a long pause. "It's so much better having you here."

A light smile tugged at her lips.

"You don't know how frightening it was to wake up after these dreams at Hogwarts. I'd often wonder if it was real."

"Surely you knew it was just a dream," she cut in.

"Yes, but… they were so vivid. I can't tell you how many times I was tempted to go to your dormitory and make sure you were there."

She chuckled. "That certainly would have been difficult to explain had Evan woken up."

He let out a quiet huff of laughter. "Oh, yes. A distressed werewolf professor pounding on the door of your roommate in the middle of the night would certainly be an interesting sight to see. Still… I used to get up and wander the castle for a few minutes, making sure to pass by your dormitory, trying to ensure your safety."

She smiled sadly, curling into his side further. "Let's go back to sleep. I promised Neville we'd be up bright and early to get to work."

He nodded, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. Hermione fell asleep to the sound of his steady, slowing heartbeat.

* * *

Professor Snape looked tired. That was the most coherent observation Hermione could make this morning. She was alone with him in the lab. It was early in the morning, but Neville and Remus would be joining her for work soon. They had to get plenty of work done before the dueling session outside later today.

"Sir?" Hermione intoned, looking over her workstation and the simmering cauldron at Snape.

He had his back to her, facing his own cauldron on the opposite side of the room. His usual black robes showed the tension in the set of his shoulders. "Yes?" he replied.

She fiddled with her stirring rod, trying to figure out how to phrase this without setting him off. He'd been especially irritable lately; she didn't know whether to attribute it to the presence of Neville, Luna, and Lavender, his apparent lack of sleep, or perhaps a sudden irritation with Hermione in general. Either way, she could tell that his position in Voldemort's ranks was a source of great stress for him at the moment.

"I was wondering," she began, "do you really think it's safe to go back the next time he- _Voldemort_ calls you? Someone must be suspicious after everything that happened, right?"

He turned around, not looking at her, and proceeded across the room to one of the ingredient cabinets. His tone was surprisingly calm as he spoke. "That's nothing you need to concern yourself with, Miss Granger."

"But I am concerned," she retorted, "I just can't imagine that you're above suspicion after this. Neville, Luna, and Lavender were all brought to safety only shortly after you were informed of the plan to attack them. How can that not be suspicious?"

He finally looked at her, his expression one of great anger. "I'm not completely helpless, as you seem to think. I'll remind you yet again that I _am_ a Master Legilimens. I can handle myself. Frankly, I'm offended that you think I can't."

Hermione swallowed, allowing her eyes to fall down onto her slowly bubbling cauldron. "Sorry," she muttered after a pause, "I just want you to be careful."

The tension in the room dissipated immediately. Hermione could almost feel the discomfort that oozed out of Snape. From his ashen silence and quick resignation from the conversation, she could tell that the idea of her actually caring for his well-being was shocking to him. It made Hermione very sad, when she thought about how many people had ever possibly told him that they worried about him. Dumbledore, McGonagall, and perhaps one or two others? She didn't know much about Snape's life, but she knew that he was never the type to have close friends. How tragic it was- to think that no one in the world cared about your safety, to think that no one would be sad if you died.

A soft knocking on the door suddenly interrupted Hermione's thoughts. She perked up and started to make her way over to the door. "That'll be Remus and Neville."

Snape spun around to look at her, an absolutely murderous expression on his face. "_Longbottom_?"

"Yes," she shot back, "and you'd better be nice to him. He's not your student to bully anymore. He's here to help us."

Snape opened his mouth to protest, but Hermione quickly opened the door. Remus' smiling face greeted her, Neville nervously following behind him with a flowerpot and the lovage plant in his arms. "Come in," Hermione motioned for them to follow her back to her workstation.

"I don't want him in my lab," Snape said lowly. His clipped tone was the type that would send any group of first thought seventh years off to do whatever he wanted. But Hermione was having none of that.

"Too bad. He's helping me."

"He ruins every single potion he lays a hand on. I will not have it." The anger was rising in Snape's voice. Hermione could feel Remus and Neville bristle with anxiety.

"He won't even touch the potion. You know by now that I'm the only one who handles the potions. Remus only does what I guide him through, and Neville's just here to deliver some plants and talk us through how to remove the lovage root. It won't work without Neville, so you're just going to have to deal with this." She ended with an air of finality that hopefully rivaled his.

To her surprise, Snape didn't explode into some outburst of anger and kick her out of the lab forever. Instead, he fixed her with a stony glare, which drifted over to Neville, and then Remus. "You should reign in your lioness, Lupin. She's getting absolutely insufferable." With that, the Potions Master stormed over to his table and cauldron.

Hermione blushed. A look at Remus told her that he was just as surprised and embarrassed as her. Neville looked confused, glancing at Remus and then back at Snape and Hermione.

"Right," Hermione breathed, "let's get to work."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thoughts on this chapter? As always, thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, following, and adding this story as a favorite!


	28. Closer

**XXVIII**

Closer

* * *

Hermione made her way through the hallway and towards the staircase quietly, taking care to avoid any creaking floorboards. It was nearly ten o'clock now, and she knew she was being a bit risky by trying to sneak to Remus' room this early in the night, but she couldn't wait any longer.

This was why Hermione was thoroughly shocked to come across Lavender Brown sitting on the floor just outside Harry and Ron's room, weeping quietly.

"L-Lavender?" Hermione stuttered out, stopping dead in her tracks and staring down at the girl.

Lavender gasped, quickly wiping tears from her eyes and looking at the ground. "Oh. Hello, Hermione," she murmured.

"Is… is everything okay?" Hermione stepped closer as she said this, inspecting the hallway around them and seeing that everyone else's door was closed.

Lavender sniffled quietly. "Ron broke up with me."

Hermione stiffened. She'd expected that Ron would finally break it off with Lavender soon, but what she hadn't expected was that he would do it at a time like this. "I'm sorry," she said, with sincerity, "did he do it just now?"

Lavender nodded, finally looking up to Hermione with teary eyes. "W-we were in his room snogging and then suddenly he just-" she broke off, burying her head in her arms, shoulders shaking with her tears.

Hermione felt very uncomfortable with what she was about to do, but she plowed the discomfort out of mind. Taking a step closer to Lavender, she leaned down to sit on the floor beside her former housemate. Lavender continued crying. Hermione patted the girl's back awkwardly, casting a muffling charm around both of them with her wand in the other hand.

"I thought- I thought that we were better now, since I came to the Estate," Lavender sputtered out between sobs, "I thought he _liked_ me."

For a moment, Hermione was surprisingly angry with Ron for doing this to the poor girl. It wasn't like Hermione had ever liked Lavender all that much, but that didn't mean she deserved to be this upset.

"You know," Hermione began, pausing to collect her thoughts, "Ron is just a man, Lavender. He's not the last man on earth, and he's not the only man for you. No one can hurt you this much unless you allow them to."

Lavender sniffled for a couple seconds before nodding. "I think he's in love with you, Hermione," she whispered.

Hermione blanched. "I really don't think so."

"You should hear how much he talks about you."

With firmly set frown, Hermione told Lavender that nothing had ever happened between Ron and herself, and nothing _would_ ever happen.

"I guess you know better than I do," Lavender sighed after a moment. "Thanks for sitting here with me."

"You're welcome," Hermione replied, still eyeing the girl closely, wondering how such a strange situation had come about. She had gained one thing from this conversation: she now knew that she needed to have a conversation with Ron about how to properly treat a woman. "Now let's get you to bed, Lavender."

The blonde sniffled once more, nodding timidly in agreement.

* * *

"Lavender and Ron broke up."

Remus opened his eyes and looked at Hermione, a questioning expression on his face.

"She was crying in the hallway when I found her," Hermione continued, putting down the book she'd been reading after marking her page.

"How's Ron?" Remus inquired. He was stretched out on top of the bed beside her, long legs reaching nearly the end of the mattress.

"He's fine," she mused, folding and unfolding one of the pages of her book, "I had a conversation with him today about it. Told him that he needed to be more considerate. He didn't really understand what I was getting at."

Remus nodded slowly. "Keep in mind that Ron is still a teenager. He'll learn eventually."

"Hopefully," Hermione sighed, shifting so that she could press against Remus' side, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She thought about Ron and Harry and their relationships. She thought about how Harry got so nervous when he first asked Ginny to go to Hogsmeade with him. It was funny now, thinking about how daunting the idea of going to Hogsmeade on a date used to be.

"What was your first date?" Hermione asked suddenly, looking up at Remus, her head resting on the pillow beside him.

He quirked a brow. "Where did that question come from?"

"Just wondering."

"Hmm," he closed his eyes, as if thinking back and sorting through his memories of the past. While he did this, one hand traced light circles around her bare shoulder. "My first date… must have been in fourth year. A Hufflepuff named Ana Portage. We went to Hogsmeade together. I was a nervous mess the whole time. Barely spoke a word to her."

Hermione grinned, imagining a young, awkward, and timid Remus. Most Hogwarts students had their first dates at Hogsmeade. It was basically a rite of passage.

"What about yours?"

Hermione sighed, resisting the urge to laugh in embarrassment. "Probably Viktor Krum, The Yule Ball. But you know all about that." She'd told Remus the story of her relationship with Viktor, and he'd certainly seen it in the papers before.

"Okay," he nodded, "aside from that, what was your first date?"

Hermione chewed her bottom lip. She wasn't the type of girl to go on that many dates in her Hogwarts years. There simply hadn't been that many boys showing interest. "There was only one other time," she murmured, "but it was _awful_… I went to Hogsmeade with Neville."

She could feel him smiling. "What happened?" he asked, failing to hide his amusement.

She buried her face in the pillow. "It was just so awkward. He was so uncomfortable and we had nothing to talk about. I'm not even quite sure why he decided to ask me in the first place." Their little trip to Hogsmeade together was something Hermione and Neville did not speak a word of nowadays. There was an unspoken agreement between them to never talk about it again.

"Maybe he just fancied you," Remus said, "plus, you can be quite intimidating sometimes."

"I'm not _that_ intimidating," she retorted, a defensive edge in her tone.

Remus broke into a bit of a smile. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. Finally, he let out a deep, rumbling laugh. She couldn't resist the urge to laugh as well. "Am I really that bad?" she asked, between laughing breaths.

He reached out a hand and smoothed her hair down, smiling fondly. "It's not a bad thing. In fact, I'd say it's quite the advantage."

Hermione still crossed her arms stubbornly and let her head fall back into the pillow, staring up at the darkened ceiling of Remus' bedroom. She could feel his eyes on her for several silent moments. At last, he spoke again, "I'm going to take you on a date."

"What?" she whipped her head around to look at him.

He simply nodded. "It's about time I properly court you."

"Remus, you don't have to _court_ me. How are we possibly going to go on a date? We're trapped in this house."

He just smiled, leaning in to kiss her lightly. "I'll figure something out," he said as he pulled back.

She was watching him closely, trying to decipher his plan here. Did he realize how risky and nearly impossible it would be to attempt to go on a date while trapped here? They definitely couldn't leave- both because Dumbledore wouldn't allow it and because Hermione knew it was far too dangerous. And there wasn't really anywhere on the Estate that she could imagine as fit for a date. _Well_… perhaps the gardens, but if they tried to do something romantic there nearly everyone in the house would be able to see it.

"Stop trying to figure it out," Remus interrupted her thoughts suddenly, his hand coming up to smooth down the crease between her brows.

"I just don't see how this can possibly work," she told him factually.

"Don't worry about it," he replied, "I'll take care of it."

Without leaving even a second for her to say anything else, he dipped in and kissed her once more. This kiss was deeper and more passionate than the first. When his fingers skimmed below her tank top, pulling the bit of fabric upwards, all thoughts were lost in the wonderful distraction.

* * *

Hermione made the mistake of forgetting about Remus' idea for a date. It was because of this that she was completely blindsided two days later when she stepped out of the shower and found Ginny waiting for her.

"Great!" Ginny clapped her hands together upon seeing Hermione leave the bathroom. "You're right on time. Come on, we have to get you dressed." With that, the redhead grabbed Hermione's hand and began pulling her towards their shared bedroom.

"Get me dressed for what?" Hermione asked, barely holding a towel around her torso with her free hand.

"Your date, of course!" Ginny nearly squealed with excitement.

"My… my _what_?"

"Date. D-A-T-E. Keep up, Hermione."

At this point Hermione was wholly flustered, unable to stop Ginny from pulling her into their bedroom, shutting the door, and pushing Hermione into the middle of the room. Hermione noticed that clothes were strewn across her bed, and her trunk was wide open.

"You're going to wear that, and then you're going to come with me downstairs," Ginny said, pointing towards the bed.

Hermione inspected the clothes laid out on her bed. Ginny had picked an old red sundress, one that Hermione had almost forgotten she owned. Beside it were a white cardigan and some red knickers. Ginny was still staring at Hermione, arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently on the ground, so she figured that she'd better comply and get dressed.

Hermione dropped her towel, put on the knickers, and then the dress. By the time she was done she turned to view her reflection in the small mirror by the door. She played with the fabric of the dress, unable to hold back a small smile. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this pretty, even if it was only a simple dress that she'd owned forever.

"Ready?" Ginny asked excitedly.

"Uh, yeah," Hermione replied, quickly casting a charm on her hair to dry and tame it, "I guess so. But… where are we going? Won't someone see us?"

Ginny shook her head. "Sirius made sure that everyone's in the drawing room. We're just going to walk out to the gardens, and then you'll see what we've got planned."

"Okay," Hermione breathed, allowing Ginny to lead the way.

The walk downstairs was eerily quiet, and once Ginny opened the door to the rear gardens, Hermione was affronted with the most divine view. Just outside, Remus stood on the gravel walkway, hands in his pockets, his back to her direction as he stared up at the night sky.

Ginny pushed Hermione forward over the threshold, a smug and self-satisfactory grin on her face. As Hermione stumbled into the open night air, Remus turned around.

"You look lovely, Hermione," he said, a warm smile spreading across his face. He stepped forward and offered his arm to her.

"Thank you," Hermione blushed, looking back at Ginny once more before taking Remus' arm. She still wanted to know what exactly was planned here, but she managed to push that to the back of her mind momentarily. The door to the house shut softly behind them while Ginny retreated. Remus stepped just a hint closer as the door slid shut.

"You look very handsome yourself," Hermione murmured, inspecting his attire. He wore an old jacket that must have been repaired with magic several times over, along with some plain old slacks. His hair was combed and there was a subtle hint of aftershave lingering on his body.

He brought his head down a few centimeters and gave Hermione a light kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," he whispered before pulling away.

Hermione shivered. "Are you going to explain what's going on, then? Or is it all meant to be a surprise?"

"Mmm," he turned and looked out at the gardens, "a little of both. First off, there's something I want you to see over here." He began to lead her in a slow stroll through the gardens, heading for the far end of the property, near the greenhouse and the murky pond. Suddenly, as they were walking, something materialized before them.

It took Hermione several seconds before she realized that they had just passed through the barrier of an obscuring charm. It was protecting something from sight, allowing only those within the barrier to see the setup before them. There was a small, old table standing in one of the grassy clearings, along with two chairs on either side, and what looked like food and wine set up on the table.

"You didn't have to do this," Hermione whispered.

"You deserve it," he replied, bringing her closer to the table and pulling out a chair for her to sit in.

"Thank you," she murmured, watching from her seat as he sat down, her eyes glancing down at the food before them every few seconds. It looked positively delicious. "This is wonderful, Remus."

He sat down opposite her, removing his napkin from the table and placing it on his lap. Hermione watched as he proceeded to sip his glass of water and smile at her. She took a moment to look down at the food next. It was a delicious smelling roasted chicken breast with a small salad on the side. She looked up at Remus. "Did you cook this?"

He nodded. "I do have _some_ talents."

"We'll see about that," she murmured, picking up her fork and taking a bite. There was a warming charm over the meal, so it was perfectly cooked and heated. She couldn't resist a small moan of delight— it tasted delicious.

"I take it you approve?"

She nodded. "Well done, Remus. You have my blessing to cook for me from now on for every meal."

He narrowed his eyes, picking up the bottle of red wine and pouring her a glass. She grinned and sipped, the taste bringing her back to memories of having a glass of wine on special occasions at dinner with her parents.

"This really is wonderful," she smiled, looking around at the gardens and then back at Remus.

"I'm glad," he replied, watching her with a happy light in his eyes.

Soon Remus and Hermione were well into their dinner, enjoying each other's company and taking their time with the meal. Eventually, however, as darkness crept over the gardens, Hermione began to worry. "Are you sure Sirius and Ginny have us covered? No one will notice we're gone?"

"Don't worry," he implored, leaning over and grasping her hand across the table, "if there's anything I trust Sirius with, it's keeping people distracted and out of the way. He used to always come up with the most wonderful distraction plans whenever James and Peter wanted to pull a prank."

She crinkled her nose at the mention of the Marauders' antics. "I suppose Ginny would be fairly good at that sort of thing as well," she added after a moment.

It remained a bit worrying being out here having a romantic dinner while everyone else was just inside the house. Still, she convinced herself to relax and enjoy what a wonderful evening Remus had planned for her.

They stayed outside for a long time, just talking. Finally Hermione was shivering and Remus decided it was time they retire. He vanished their dishes and the scraps of food, and then transfigured the table and chairs into a harmless patch of rocks. Then he offered her his hand, leading them at a slow stroll back into the house.

The hallway leading to his bedroom was empty. They quickly made their way inside, falling onto his bed beside each other, still holding hands. Hermione found that she couldn't stop grinning. "That was wonderful. Thank you," she murmured.

He brought her hand up to his lips, kissing her knuckles. "You're welcome. You deserve it, you know." His tone was quickly becoming serious, "I wish I could give you something more than this. You deserve more than just sneaking around and meeting in my bedroom at night."

"It's not that bad," she said, turning her head to look at him, "at least we aren't getting yelled at or ostracized." Hermione could only imagine what Mrs. Weasley would say if she found out… or Harry and Ron… especially Ron…

Remus must have seen her deepening thoughts and decided to stop them, because a second later he was leaning in to close the space between them. They kissed for a long moment. His hands came up to cup her face. She shifted onto her side, scooting forward and aligning her body next to his.

He stopped kissing her suddenly, pulling his head back so that his face was only inches from hers. His hands were still cupping her face, his fingers sifting through her hair. Hermione wanted to lean in again and kiss him, but the deep look in his eyes made her stop.

His green eyes were set on hers, only slightly darkened by what she could assume to be desire. He took a deep, labored breath, searching her face before he spoke. "Hermione," he murmured her name, the word rolling off his tongue, "you're the best thing that's happened to me in so many years."

Hermione had never before understood the expression 'heart skipping a beat,' but she could almost feel, in this moment, that very same sensation. Her chest tightened and her throat constricted at the sight of the emotion in Remus' eyes and the rasping honesty of his voice.

The only reaction she could muster up was a small smile. She feared opening her mouth and saying something, because she didn't know what words would come out. Would she admit that she thought she loved him? It was very possible, and she _did_ truly think that she loved him. Luckily, Remus stopped this worrying train of thought by leaning in and kissing her again. He understood that she was struggling with what to say, and she was so grateful to not feel the weight of the responsibility over whether to admit how she felt or not.

Instead she just focused on Remus. She returned his reverent kisses, letting her hands trail down to his chest and start to unbutton his shirt. It was one of the nicer shirts he had- no holes or tears in it. She felt another swell of emotion at the thought that he'd dressed up for _her_.

He pulled her even closer, his kisses becoming more needy when her hands found their way through to the bare skin of his chest and abdomen. His hands fingered the material of her dress, and she could tell that he was looking for a way to take it off. Hermione stood up from the bed, undoing the zipper on the back of her dress and letting it fall to the floor. Remus' eyes watched her hungrily the whole time.

Almost giddily, she jumped back beside him on the bed, smiling as he kissed her. His hands roamed over her body, fingering at the red knickers and bra she wore.

It only took minutes before they had both divested each other of their remaining clothing. They became more and more heated as the moment progressed. Soon he was pushing his erection into her lower stomach, shifting himself so that he was on top of her, his tongue laving at the sensitive spot on her neck.

"_Remus_," she moaned, his name only a whisper on her lips.

He detached his lips from her neck, trailing down to one sensitive nipple for a moment before moving to the other. "Tell me what you want," he rumbled.

She moaned at the deep, uninhibited tone of his voice. "I want…" She found that her head was a bit fuzzy from lust and she couldn't quite find the right words. Finally, she arched her back and pushed her hips up against his, "I want you Remus, _please_."

He obliged with a low growl, pushing into her quickly and eliciting another low moan at the sudden intrusion. He filled her perfectly, his body matching hers, thrust for thrust, like they'd been doing this for years.

As he continued to move in this wonderful rhythm, Hermione remembered the words he'd spoken only moments ago, along with the devotion and adoration in his eyes. She tipped her head upwards and captured his lips, slipping her tongue along his lower lip and simultaneously tangling her fingers through his hair. He groaned, increasing his pace.

It didn't hurt as much as it did the first time anymore. Hermione was becoming more comfortable with sex, and she was starting to learn what she liked and what Remus liked. He was the same way, and he knew exactly what he was doing when he hiked her legs up to wrap around his waist, reaching a new spot inside her. She cried out, feeling her climax quickly approaching.

"So close," she murmured between ragged breaths, her hands finding their way to his shoulders.

He kissed her once more quickly on the lips before bringing his head down just next to her ear. He kissed her neck just under her ear before he whispered, with a carefully controlled voice, "let go, Hermione. Come with me."

That did it. She was helpless to resist the orgasm that overtook her. She cried out, arching her back once more and closing her eyes. Remus kept at his reverent pace throughout, only faltering when her nails dug into his shoulders and her legs clenched around his waist. He let go as well, groaning and losing himself in her, moving hastily and desperately.

They both fell onto the bed beside each other, regaining their breath and cooling off. Hermione found his hand sitting on top of the duvet and carefully wound her fingers through his, smiling when he squeezed her hand.

"Thank you for everything tonight," she said, "it really was wonderful."

He smiled, the rapid rise and fall of his chest still slowing down. "You're welcome. I'm glad," he said simply.

In a few moments Hermione found the strength to sit up and pull back the sheets of the bed, sliding herself under as Remus did the same. His arm immediately moved to wind around hers once they were lying down. Hermione thought that, in that moment, she couldn't have possibly been happier.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much to apriljunemay for giving me the idea for the date night! I hope you all enjoyed! I have to warn you guys: things don't stay this happy and lighthearted forever. Hermione and Remus will both get a dose of reality very soon… any predictions?


	29. Catalyst

**XXIX**

Catalyst

* * *

Three minutes in the Strengthening Solution. That's what Neville had advised. Hermione Slowly dropped the chopped lovage root into the Strengthening Solution. It took about three days to brew a high-quality batch of the solution, and this morning her batch had finally matured enough to use with the lovage.

She watched the reaction closely, noticing how the solution changed from turquoise to a deep red color over the course of three minutes. Finally, when the reaction was finished, Hermione retrieved the lovage root, draining the remaining red liquid from the cauldron.

Footsteps on the other side of the room reminded her of Snape's presence. Hermione looked up just as he arrived in front of her. His eyes were focused intently on the lovage root and her cauldron.

"What do you think?" she asked, eyeing the root.

He shook his head. "Over saturated. The Strengthening Solution was too strong and the lovage was chopped."

"Neville said I should chop it before putting it in the potion."

He shook his head again, a sneer forming on his lips. "What does Longbottom know about proper dilution and saturation?"

"He's not completely stupid, you know," Hermione bit back.

Snape quirked an eyebrow indignantly, but didn't respond to this statement. Instead, he froze in place. His only movement was a quick jerking motion as his right hand gripped his left forearm.

Hermione immediately recognized what was happening. "Oh no," she murmured, searching Snape's expression for some indication of what he was thinking.

"I must go," he said shortly, his words void of emotion. He took a few steps backwards, turning and making his way towards the door.

"Are you sure it's safe? Sir, after what happened last week…" She trailed off, knowing that he was quite tired of hearing her speak about his little rescue effort that resulted in Neville, Luna, and Lavender arriving at the Estate.

He stopped in his tracks for a split second before springing forward into motion yet again. "I must go. I will inform Albus on my way." These were his only words as he disappeared from the lab.

Hermione stood stock still for a minute before remembering her cauldron and ingredients still sitting on her workstation. "Shit," she murmured, racing over to the lovage root and finding that it truly was oversaturated. To make it worse she'd forgotten to use a preservation charm immediately as she was supposed to. This batch was completely useless now. She'd have to try again tomorrow, and possibly create a whole new batch of Strengthening Solution. That alone would take three more days.

Despite wanting to work through her stress about Snape being called away and her anger at herself for letting the lovage root go bad, Hermione had to get outside. Another dueling practice was scheduled to begin in about ten minutes, and she knew she didn't want to miss anything.

Hermione made her way out of Snape's lab and out into the gardens, passing the greenhouse and the shyly blooming flowers that Mrs. Weasley had been planting. She arrived at the clearing to find that everyone else was already there, chatting and waiting to begin dueling. Even Neville, Luna, and Lavender had been excited to come out and work on their skills.

Remus' eyes were locked on her as she approached, and she knew that he could tell something was wrong. She strolled over, standing beside him and studying the ground. "Snape was just called away," she murmured, digging the toe of her shoe into the grass.

"Called away by who?" Ron butted in loudly, standing just behind Hermione.

Everyone was watching her now. "Voldemort."

"That happens a lot though, yeah?" asked Harry.

She nodded. "I'm just not quite sure it's safe anymore." As she said this, she scanned the group. Sirius was fiddling with his wand, as if bored by the subject of Snape. Lavender and Neville both watched her with confused expressions, not understanding why this would worry Hermione. Everyone else was focused on her, understanding her cause for worry and sympathizing.

"He can take care of himself," Remus assured her, "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

But she _did_ worry. She worried that Voldemort had known of Snape's true allegiances for a long time and he was just waiting for the right moment. She worried for Snape's safety and she worried for their own safety here at the Estate. Sure, Professor Snape was an accomplished Occlumens, but she didn't doubt that Voldemort had the power to break him down and find out that the Order was hiding at the Estate if he really wanted to.

These thoughts clouded Hermione's mind as she was paired up with Draco to duel. Draco knew she was distracted, and started with easier spells to deflect. Hermione threw back the same innocuous hexes. A few minutes into their duel, she was still unable to focus. She was so distracted, in fact, that she completely failed to put up a shield against Draco's cutting spell.

The spell caught her completely off guard, spinning towards her and hitting her right upper-arm. She gasped, feeling the hot, burning pain as the spell sliced through the skin.

Draco stopped. "Shit, Granger," he muttered, walking forward and lowering his wand, "where was your shield?"

Before Hermione could respond, a body had stepped between herself and Draco, blocking him from view. She realized belatedly that it was Remus, and he was seething with rage. He began stalking towards Draco, wand drawn and at his side, until Hermione reached out and caught his sleeve.

"_Remus_!" she hissed, pulling on his sleeve roughly, "calm down!"

He took three deep breaths, eyes still locked on Draco, who appeared wholly terrified of the raging werewolf before him. Tonks and Sirius were walking over, concerned looks on their faces. Across the field, many had stopped their duel to see what was going on. Harry and Ginny were now approaching as well.

Hermione gave Remus' wrist a hard warning squeeze and he finally turned away from Draco. His eyes fell to her arm, where she was bleeding profusely. It was a deep cut, one that could have been easily avoided had she only put up a simple deflecting shield.

"Alright there, Hermione?" Tonks asked, arriving at her side and inspecting the gash.

Hermione nodded. "Can you heal it?" She would typically ask Remus, as all his years as a werewolf made him unusually adept at healing cuts and gashes. However, he was currently shaking with rage, rather incapable of doing something as delicate as healing.

Tonks cleared the blood from Hermione's arm and began to mend it. Meanwhile, Sirius grabbed Remus by the shoulder and pulled him several more feet away from Draco, who still looked disturbed.

"What happened?" Harry asked. He and Ginny were now standing by Remus and Sirius.

"I was just distracted," Hermione explained, "it was my fault."

"There's no problem with getting a little roughed up while practicing your dueling," Tonks supplied, "in fact, it's excellent that Hermione and Draco are taking enough risks to have something like this happen."

Remus looked like he wanted to say something, but Sirius stopped him, murmuring something quietly and pulling the werewolf's attention away from Tonks and Hermione.

"Remus is certainly quite protective," Tonks mused, finishing up the spell on Hermione's arm, leaving no trace of a scar behind.

"You can say that again," Ginny interjected, standing beside Hermione now. She and Tonks laughed.

"It's just the full moon," Hermione said, eyes focused on Remus, flickering to Harry and Ron as they stood nearby, hoping that no one else noticed exactly _how_ protective Remus was feeling.

Of course, Draco noticed. He was still standing several feet away, unsure whether or not it was safe to move closer to Hermione or ask if she was alright. He looked genuinely frightened, and Hermione wondered how feral the look in Remus' eyes must have been to evoke this fear in Draco.

"Right," Tonks chirped, pulling back from Hermione and facing the group, "let's get back to dueling!"

The rest of the day was spent switching partners and fighting as much as possible. Remus watched Hermione frequently, but eventually cooled off enough to actually focus on his own duels and work with Neville and Luna on their offensive spells for a while. By the end of the day, everyone forgot about the incident.

The dueling session left both Remus and Hermione sweaty and in need of a shower. After escaping inside the house, Remus pulled Hermione by the hand down to the bathroom he shared with Sirius and Tonks. She laughed quietly as he checked that the coast was clear before shutting the door behind them.

He turned on the shower before returning his attention to her, quickly pulling her shirt over her head, kissing her firmly on the lips while he worked on pulling her sports bra over her head too. She made quick work of his clothes, undoing his shirt and pants.

It was a matter of seconds before they were both in the shower together, and he was kissing her and pressing her up against the wall. He kissed with teeth and tongue and vigor. Hermione gave it right back to him, her hand trailing down his chest and stomach, dipping lower to grip his throbbing erection.

"_Fuck_," he growled, closing his eyes and dropping his head back at the divine sensation of her hand wrapped around his cock.

She must have been grinning, because when he peeked down at her he mumbled a short, "what are you smiling about?"

She stood on her tiptoes, starting at the base of his neck and kissing her way up to the shell of his ear. "I love it when you curse," she whispered.

He let out a rumbling chuckle that came from the back of his throat, his head still pressed against the cold tiles of the wall. She began to pump her hand. His hips rocked forward almost involuntarily.

"_Fuck_, Hermione," he whispered in a tone that made her feel powerful. It was getting close to the full moon, which probably explained their sudden desire for each other.

When she ran her thumb over the tip of his cock he shuddered. "I'm not going to last if you keep going like this," he said through clenched teeth.

"Then fuck me now," she replied boldly, flicking her thumb over the tip once more.

She couldn't tell if he was surprised by her harsh language or too deep in the haze of lust to be surprised. All she could coherently notice was the immediate darkening of his eyes, and then the almost feral way he kissed her.

She dropped her hand and he stepped forward, his arms coming to grip her thighs as he hoisted her up, pressing her against the wall of the shower in a way that she was certain would put a lot of physical strain on his muscles. She knew he didn't care. As the full moon drew closer all his muscles ached and protested at any physical labor. It was good to mix a little pleasure in there.

He sunk into her wet heat and she whined at the intrusion. Her back was pressed against the cold tiles of the shower wall, and Remus was pressing at her front. The water from the showerhead plummeted down against his back as he thrust forward, reducing Hermione to an incoherent state of moans and sighs of pleasure.

"You… feel… so good," Remus whispered between thrusts. His mouth attached to her neck, kissing and biting lightly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Hermione wondered if he would leave a mark there. She found that she didn't really care.

When they came together it was fast and rough. Remus drew in and out of her, nearly pounding when he put his weight into it. She screamed, tightening her grip on his shoulders and pulling his hips closer with her legs.

As came down from their high Remus released her from her position against the wall, moving her legs down slowly until they touched the floor and she could stand up straight. Her knees wobbled, and she was sure it was from the burning, shattering pleasure she'd just experienced.

He arched his back, stretching it out and wincing slightly. "Did I hurt you?" Hermione asked, truly concerned now that she wasn't so blinded by her desire.

He shook his head, dipping in to kiss her for a solid ten seconds before he pulled back. "Nothing out of the ordinary for shower sex."

She almost laughed. She'd just had shower sex with Remus. It was certainly something she wouldn't forget for a long time.

"Let's get cleaned up," he supplied, reaching for the bar of soap and a cloth, "dinner's in a half hour."

She nodded, sidestepping him so that she could get under the spray of the shower, wetting her hair and body. Remus' eyes were still on her, still dark with desire. She couldn't imagine him wanting _more_ after that. "Is the increased sex drive particularly bad for you before the full moon?"

He arched a brow at her.

"I'm just curious," she murmured.

He lost some of his wariness, probably remembering that Hermione was a constantly curious person, and she would always be researching or learning in some form or another, especially about Lycanthropy. "Some months are much worse than others, as I'm sure you've noticed by now."

"But this month you seem much more affected by it than me," she replied, putting shampoo in her hair and beginning to scrub out her wild locks.

He shrugged. "I suppose you could also account it to the fact that I'm technically your Alpha."

"My _Alpha_?" Hermione didn't know if she liked the sound of that.

He nodded, shifting his jaw and standing stock still in front of her. He looked… _anxious_. "I changed you… I infected you. That technically makes me your Alpha."

She'd heard the term many times before, and perhaps even seen it mentioned in a book about lycanthropy, but no explanation or background had ever been given. Hermione had always pushed it aside, thinking that it was some insignificant colloquialism. "So what does that mean? You're more inclined to have sex with me? I'm more inclined to have sex with you?" _Oh god._ Her mind was racing. How had she never considered something like this before? Was the only reason she was attracted to him because of some strange werewolf hierarchy? Was the only reason she had feelings for him because he was her _Alpha_? Because she was- what? His _Beta_?

He could see the worry on her face. "No, no, no, it's not like that, Hermione." He stepped closer, his hands coming to clasp her shoulders, smoothing up and down on her arms. She closely examined the prickling sensation she felt when he touched her. That was the magic of their shared lycanthropy. She swallowed dryly. Why had she never been more suspicious of the feelings she got around him? The wave of calmness? The desire to be near him?

He pulled back, scrubbing his hands over his face. "Look, it's really not what you're thinking it is, Hermione. It's not some sick sexual dominance thing or- or anything like that."

"Then what is it?" she shot back, crossing her arms over her chest. "Please, explain it to me." There were still suds of shampoo in her hair, and the hot water of the shower was still spattering down on her back.

He let out a long, deep sigh. "It's just an instinctual thing. Closer to the full moon we feel an increased sex drive, especially towards other werewolves."

She could still feel some questions rising in the back of her mind. Was that the only reason they were together? The only reason they were attracted to each other?

"It's not- it's not something that's extremely compelling," he continued, rubbing his temple with one hand. "It's just… there. And it's stronger for werewolves who have a particular bond, but only around the full moon."

"And we have a particular bond because you're my _Alpha_?" The word rolled off her tongue with acidity and left a sour taste in her mouth.

"Yes, well- sort of. It's old magic, Hermione. Because I changed you I'm your Alpha. Fenrir Greyback is my Alpha. Whoever changed Greyback is his Alpha."

She grimaced. "So what, you're attracted to Fenrir Greyback around the full moon?"

"No! It doesn't work like that." He let out a slow breath, shutting his eyes tightly before opening them again. "It only works when the two people are attracted to each other outside of just the affects of the full moon. The attraction is simply strengthened by the moon."

"How come I've never seen more than a small mention about this before? You loaned me all those books about Lycanthropy back at Hogwarts."

He shook his head. "It's not something written in books. Hardly anybody knows about this. It's mainly passed down by word of mouth. I learned about it when I spent some time with a pack when I was younger."

She frowned, staring down at the bathroom tiles. "I don't like the idea of this."

He nodded. "It's not as bad as you think, Hermione. I promise. It really is something that only applies to werewolves already in some sort of sexual relationship. I just happen to be your Alpha. That strengthens our relationship even more, along with my need to protect you and keep you near me around the full moon."

She chewed her lower lip, thinking all of this over. "I'm going to have to do more research on this. I'm sure it's been documented somewhere." They'd hardly explored the expansive library at the Estate yet. Perhaps there were some older books in there.

He nodded slowly. "I'm sorry I never thought to explain it to you earlier. It's really not something I've ever seen as that important. You know I don't only like you because you're a werewolf."

She nodded. "I know." What Hermione wouldn't admit was that she had been truly worried for a moment.

"Come on, let's finish washing up before anyone notices we're missing." He reached for the bar of soap again. Hermione nodded, stepping back under the spray of the shower and rinsing out her hair.

* * *

As the day progressed, Hermione had become more and more worried about Professor Snape. He'd left at around eight in the morning, and now it was just past midnight and he still wasn't back. Hermione tried to distract herself with other things, namely reading and trying to research this damn Alpha thing, but she just couldn't.

"Hard to concentrate?" Remus' voice floated over. He sat in one of the armchairs of the library. Hermione had taken up the couch and Sirius was currently seated in the other armchair. Remus and Sirius had been quietly discussing what they wanted to do for the next dueling session, but now they were both silent, watching Hermione.

"I'm getting concerned," she admitted, glancing between them.

Remus gave her a sympathetic nod. Sirius had the tact to look downwards and study the carpet in the library. She knew that he wasn't worried about Snape. How could he be? They honestly hated each other.

Remus cast a _Tempus_. "He's been gone for longer than this before."

"But has it ever been this dangerous?" Hermione closed the book in her lap, leaning her head against the back of the couch. "I don't understand how no one is as concerned as I am about this."

"Severus is quite capable of taking care of himself, Hermione. I think you underestimate him." As Remus said this, his eyes briefly drifted over her legs, stretched out on top of the couch, and then to her face. She could tell that the approaching full moon was taking an effect on him, even if he tried to pretend that it wasn't. There was just a hint of barely concealed hunger in his eyes. She wondered if Sirius could tell. She wondered if anyone else in this house could tell.

Hermione sighed. "You're right." She didn't completely believe it, but she also didn't feel like arguing about it right now. She turned her head to Sirius, "how do you think Harry's doing?"

Sirius picked his gaze up from the ground, considering the question before responding. "Better than he was a couple weeks ago. I think the dueling practice helps a lot, though the Order meetings always serve to stress him out a bit."

Hermione nodded in thought. "I sympathize with him," she murmured, "it's hard to sit around here and pretend there isn't a war going on outside."

The library had taken on an ominous silence. Remus broke it. "I have a feeling that it won't be much longer until it's over."

That statement both frightened and encouraged Hermione. She was about to respond, when she heard the unmistakable noise of footsteps in the corridor. She nearly leapt off the couch, stalking towards the door to the library and sticking her head outside. A figure had just entered the house through the front door, and was now making its way to the staircase.

"Professor?" Hermione stepped out of the shadows, alerting him to her presence.

Snape froze. She could make out his face now and he looked troubled. He still wore the full Death Eater robes.

"Is everything alright?" She inquired gingerly. Behind her, she could feel Remus exit the library and approach.

"Yes," Snape answered shortly. "Nothing to worry about."

Before Hermione could get another word in, Snape stalked up the staircase, leaving Hermione and Remus standing alone.

"Do you think he's okay?" she asked, turning to face Remus.

He considered the question for a second before nodding. "Severus can take care of himself. If anything happened, we'll surely hear about it at the next Order meeting."

Remus obviously wasn't concerned. Hermione tried to convince herself that this meant she shouldn't be concerned either. Still, there was worry in the back of her mind as she followed Remus back into the library.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So things took a slightly serious turn in this chapter. Sadly, chapter 30 is where it gets even worse. Many of you guessed correctly in your reviews for the last chapter, though I won't say who was right…


	30. Lonely Thing

**XXX**

Lonely Thing

* * *

"Tell me about the first war."

Remus inclined his head down to glance at Hermione. She was sprawled across the couch in the library, her head propped up against his chest, a thick, old book in her hands. Her fingers fanned through the pages of the book idly while she gazed across the room. When Remus didn't respond for a long moment, she shifted, looking up at him expectantly.

"What about it?" He furrowed his brow.

She shrugged. "Just… something. You hardly ever talk about it. I want to know about it. I feel like I _should_ know about it… what with everything that's been going on lately."

He regarded her closely for a moment before giving in, "It wasn't too bad at first. Sirius, James, Peter, and I were excited to join the Order and start working. Sirius and James loved Auror training. But things got very bad within the first year after we graduated."

Hermione remained silent, listening attentively.

"There were a lot of attacks back then. Way more than you see nowadays, and half of them went unreported by the Prophet or the Ministry. As time passed, the attacks started to happen more and more and we were called more and more often to try to prevent attacks that often ended in death. That's when we started fighting among ourselves."

"Who?"

"Mostly James, Sirius, and Peter. Sometimes I fought with them as well. I think that was when Peter started to stray from us, though." Remus felt something clench in his chest at one particular memory of a fight they'd had outside a pub in London one night. Peter had ended up throwing hexes at Sirius. Sirius had responded with equal violence. The short-lived confrontation ended when Peter used a suffocating spell on Sirius. It was the darkest spell any of them had ever seen Peter use on another person. After Sirius was left gasping for breath on the ground, Peter stood there in silent awe at his own actions for at least a minute before Disapparating.

Hermione reached for Remus' hand, squeezing it gently.

"When Lily announced that she was pregnant, the fighting started to ease up a bit. The months just before and after Harry's birth were extremely hopeful." Remus remembered these times with a fond smile on his face.

"But then it started to get bad again?" Hermione's voice was low and foreboding.

Remus nodded. "Very bad. James' parents were killed, Sirius' brother died, Alice and Frank were tortured. It was just one thing after another. Then… then Halloween came."

Hermione turned suddenly, sitting up further and wrapping her arms around Remus' neck. Her fingers stroked the back of his neck in the most oddly calming way. It was the most comforted Remus had ever felt while talking about the war and that fateful Halloween. There was still an awful ache in his chest at the thought of James and Lily, but it wasn't as painful as it used to be. He wrapped his arms around Hermione's back, pulling her closer.

"We need to win this war," she murmured against his chest.

Remus nodded, unable to put into words how much he agreed.

* * *

The library was becoming a frequently occupied place for Hermione and Remus as their time in the Estate wore on. It was a quaint library, and with the drawing room a few doors down, nobody actually spent extended periods of time in the library. Thus, it was often left empty.

It was because of this supposed solitude that Hermione and Remus began to feel more and more secure within the library. They stopped worrying that anyone would come in, and focused instead on spending time with each other, enjoying each other's company without other prying eyes around.

However, their sense of security began to gain a bit too much hubris with time. On one afternoon, a few nights before the full moon, Hermione and Remus made a rather disastrous mistake in thinking that no one would be wandering into the library tonight.

Hermione sidled up to Remus just a moment after he plopped down on the couch. She could feel the symptoms of the full moon setting in heavily. Just the sight of Remus made her want to jump him. In fact… she just might have to do that…

Hermione tossed the book she was about to crack open aside, shifting completely to face Remus on the couch.

"What are you-" Remus' words were cut off as her lips met his in a fervent kiss. She swung her leg over his lap, straddling him in a manner that she knew would have him snogging her back with just as much passion.

Instead, Remus pulled back. "Hermione," he exhaled, eyes wild, "we should go to my room."

She shook her head, "I can't wait." Now she pressed her lips to the side of his neck and jaw. Remus hesitated for a solid couple of seconds before his hands came up to touch her. One hand tangled in her hair, the other clutched the back of her jumper tightly.

Hermione arched her body towards him, wanting to feel more of his warmth. She felt desperate for the feel of his skin on hers. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice told her that they really _should_ go to Remus' room.

But Hermione didn't care, for a second later Remus' hand slipped under the back of her jumper, warm fingers tracing her spine, pulling her closer. Hermione moaned.

A split second after the moan left her lips, two things happened in very quick succession. First, the loud thumping of a door jutting open sounded through the library. Second, Remus' hands gripped either side of her hips and pushed her off his lap.

Hermione narrowly avoided falling completely to the ground, her feet somehow finding their place beneath her. She stumbled backward. Remus simultaneously stood from the couch, springing upward and whipping his head around to the doorway.

Hermione followed his gaze, not daring to even take a breath. Her eyes fell on the entrance of the library. There stood an array of people that she _really_ didn't want to see staring at her right now. Gaping at her, with wide eyes and slackened jaws, were the twins, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Draco, and Sirius. She couldn't imagine anyone else that could possibly be staring at her right now, because it truly seemed like the whole household was standing just a few feet away.

"_Fuck_," Remus whispered, running a hand through his mussed hair and looking up at the ceiling in exasperation.

Hermione took a deep breath, anticipating that this stunned-silence of the others wouldn't last much longer. She straightened her jumper, turned toward the small crowd in front of her, and waited.

Ron exploded.

"_This _is what you've been going off to do!?" he jabbed a finger violently at Remus.

"Ronald, please calm down," Hermione took a subconscious step towards Remus, who was clenching his fists tightly and staring at Sirius. The two appeared to be having some sort of silent conversation. A second later, Sirius sprung into action, shepherding everyone into the library so that he could shut the door behind them.

It was too late. Lavender, Luna, and Neville were nearby and had heard Ron's shouting. They were now standing in the doorway as well. "What's going on?" Lavender asked.

"Hermione's fucking Lupin, that's what's going on!" Ron shouted, throwing his hands up in the air exasperatedly.

Hermione felt her stomach drop. _Is this how everyone will react? _She looked at the others. Harry wasn't saying a single word, just staring at Hermione and Remus as if trying to decipher some complex puzzle. Beside him, Draco was _grinning_. Hermione decided she would have to find out what was going on with him later, but for now she had to deal with the others.

She sent a pleading look at Ginny, who immediately recognized what was needed of her.

"Shut up, Ron, and go take a seat," Ginny ordered, grabbing Ron by the arm and jerking him towards the couch. "You too," she told the twins, who appeared to be in a mixed state of shock and mild amusement.

Next Ginny turned to Harry, placing a hand on his forearm and gently urging him into the room. He complied, still not saying a word, just staring at Hermione and Remus.

Meanwhile, Sirius tried to usher Neville, Luna, and Lavender inside, closing the door behind them so no one else could possibly join the group of people who now knew Hermione and Remus' secret. Neville walked into the room in a disoriented sort of silence, falling onto the couch between Luna and Draco, who both looked surprisingly _un_surprised. Lavender was grinning from ear-to-ear as Sirius guided her toward the couch. "I _knew_ that was a hickey I saw on your neck the other day!" she exclaimed, leaning around Sirius to grin and point at Hermione.

Hermione cringed, feeling her stomach tie in knots and a headache set in. It was too close to the full moon for this…

Ginny approached Hermione and Remus. "Maybe you should just explain to them?" she offered gently. Hermione turned to look at Remus. He wore a straight, guarded expression, and hardly held eye contact with her for more than a second. She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded at Ginny, turning away from Remus to face the rest of the group.

"First of all I want to say that this is none of any of your business, but Remus and I are in a relationship." She took a deep, shaky breath after saying these words. "We're going to talk about it now because neither of us want anyone else to know at this point, and hopefully if we explain some things to you, everyone here can help us keep our secret for a little longer."

She took another deep breath, narrowing in on Ron now. "However, if any of you are going to get upset and try to reprimand either Remus or myself, I will _not_ include you in this conversation."

Ron was unfazed. "Then you'd better explain what's going on here quickly, because to me it looks disgusting."

Hermione clenched her fists, stepping closer and staring menacingly at Ron. "Do not test me, Ronald. It's too bloody close to the full moon for this."

Her feral tone silenced Ron. He seemed to have forgotten momentarily that he was insulting two temperamental, pre-moon werewolves.

"Now," Hermione exhaled, trying to calm her racing heart, "I'd like to make it clear that this relationship was not going on while we were at Hogwarts, and none of you have any reason to be concerned over whatever position of power Remus may have had over me. I've graduated, and we're both adults." With these words Hermione shot another icy glare at Ron.

"I have a question," Harry spoke up, gazing at Hermione alone.

"Yes. Of course, Harry," Hermione could feel the apprehension rise within her. She knew for certain that both Remus and herself cared far too much about Harry. It would hurt deeply if he had a reaction anything like Ron's.

"Why does it seem like Ginny and Sirius know about this?" Harry's inquiry was laced with suspicion.

Hermione hesitated. "They _do_ know about it. They have known… for a while."

Harry furrowed his brow, his gaze shifting over to Sirius, and then to Remus. Hermione could tell just from that look that he was planning on having a conversation with the two of them later.

Remus stood rigidly a few feet away from her. _God_, she wanted so desperately to be alone with him right now, just to talk this over with him. She wanted to know what was going through his mind; because she worried it was the worst kind of thoughts- regret, doubt, and embarrassment.

The room had descended into a state of awkward silence. Suddenly, Fred and George cut the tension.

"Well, Granger, I have to admit I'm not very surprised you'd be the one to get with the Professor," Fred chuckled.

"Though I think we ought to have expected it all along," George continued.

Fred nodded thoughtfully. "At least it's not Professor Snape, right?"

Hermione winced, looking around the room at several disgusted expressions; the most volatile looks coming from Sirius and Ron. Neville looked highly disturbed where he sat meekly on the edge of the couch. Draco, on the other hand, let out a low chuckle, looking at the people around the room as if it was all extremely entertaining.

Ron noticed Draco's apparent amusement. "Something funny, Malfoy?" He inquired stonily, his jaw clenched.

Draco quirked an eyebrow, "You Gryffindors take some things far too seriously. So Granger and Lupin are involved. It's not a big deal, and don't tell me none of you have noticed the looks they've been giving each other." He looked around the room once more, narrowing his eyes, "Merlin, you've all been too blind to see it?" He let out an incredulous laugh.

Most of the other occupants of the room glared at Draco. Hermione found it quite wonderful to hear him make light of a situation like this, even if he was implying that she hadn't hid her relationship with Remus well.

The room fell into another bout of silence. Hermione tried to assess the situation. Standing a few feet away from her was Remus. He wasn't making eye contact with her. She swallowed dryly, turning away and looking at the others. Ron sat with his arms crossed and a stern expression on his face, but he was thankfully remaining silent. Harry looked agitated as well, but in quite a different way. He stared at the ground, studying the carpet and clenching his hands together.

Hermione took a step closer to Harry. "I'm sorry," she murmured, "I didn't want you to find out like this, and Merlin knows that neither did Remus."

Harry picked up his gaze to glance between Hermione and Remus. Then, he looked at Ginny and Sirius. Both appeared to be debating whether or not to say anything, but they remained silent in the end. Finally, Harry stood up. "I'm going upstairs," he said quietly.

"Harry," Hermione pleaded, taking a step forward as he exited the room.

"Don't worry," Harry murmured, giving Hermione one last backwards glance, "I don't plan on telling anyone your secret." His words were spiteful and biting. Hermione felt a wave of nausea rise in her gut.

After the door shut behind Harry, the room was silent for a long moment. Sirius finally spoke. "I'll talk with Harry. Don't worry."

Hermione sent Sirius a thankful half-smile as he slipped out of the room. Once he was gone, she took a deep breath, looking around the room once more. She turned to Remus, taking a step closer and attempting to get his attention. He looked at her, his eyes filled with pent-up anger and shame. She should have expected this; Harry's reaction would undoubtedly leave Remus feeling awful.

Remus held her gaze and she tried to find something to say. A voice in the back of her mind kept telling her that this was going to put a strain on their relationship that she couldn't easily talk him out of. Her stomach churned with anxiety and anger. Why hadn't she just listened to him and agreed to go to his bedroom? It was so _stupid_ and now she'd put nearly everything at stake because of it.

Deciding that she needed to push through her regretful thoughts and focus on how to deal with her problem now, Hermione turned to address the rest of the group. "We would really appreciate it if all of you kept quiet about our relationship. Remus and I don't plan on keeping it a secret forever, but we really need more time before it comes out to anyone else."

The room was silent. Everyone was watching Hermione. "Will you do this for me?" she asked, looking at each of them individually. Most nodded in agreement, though Ron refused to meet her eyes, a hard frown on his face. Hermione supposed that she should settle for this; there wasn't much more she could do.

Her eyes fell on Ginny, who was, in all likelihood, her last ally in this room. Ginny stood up. "Dinner will be ready in a little while. We should all give Hermione and Remus a moment."

Everyone followed Ginny's suggestion. Ron was the most reluctant of all, standing and glaring at Remus as he left the room with the others. Ginny stayed behind after everyone else left the library.

"Do you think they'll tell someone?" Hermione asked her friend, "Dumbledore? Your mum?"

Ginny considered the question before shaking her head. "I'll make sure they don't. But… I think both of you should prepare for what will happen if others _do_ find out." Her gaze shifted between Remus and Hermione.

"Thank you, Ginny," Remus said, voicing his first words in several minutes.

Ginny smiled and slipped out of the room.

The silence that descended upon Remus and Hermione was almost unbearable. Hermione turned to him, fingering the hem of her blouse nervously. "I'm sorry, Remus," she said, "I should have listened to you. We should have gone to your room."

He shook his head. "Don't blame yourself. This was bound to happen eventually." He looked so tremendously self-pitying and it made Hermione's chest ache. He took a deep breath, studying her for a moment. "I'm going for a walk outside," he said at last, resignation heavy in his voice.

Hermione didn't say anything. Remus walked past her, towards the door to the library, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Hermione took a shuddering breath, trying to ignore the feeling of abandonment within her.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay, so I've been a bit M.I.A. lately, but I have a reason: I finished high school! The last few weeks have been crazy, but now I'm on summer break until September (when I start college/university) and I'll have much more time for writing.

So how did everyone like this chapter and all its drama? Review? You know I just adore hearing from all of you.


	31. Aftermath

**XXXI**

Aftermath

* * *

Sirius found Harry pacing his shared room with Ron.

_James used to pace_. The ever-present voice in the back of Sirius' mind reminded him. Harry seemed to gain more and more qualities like that of his father with each passing day. It was both painful and uplifting to see.

"Harry," Sirius said, knocking lightly on the doorframe.

His godson looked up at him, a concentrated and troubled expression on his face. "Hi, Sirius," he murmured, halting his pacing and sitting down on the edge of his bed.

Sirius closed the door behind him, stepping into the room to sit across from his godson, perched on Ron's bed. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

He took a deep breath. "You really knew about this?"

"Yes," Sirius said plainly. No point dancing around the truth. "And I approve of it."

Harry furrowed his brow, looking down at the floor. "It didn't ever seem a little strange to you? The two of them together?"

Sirius considered this question for a long moment. Finally he shook his head. "I was confused about it at first. But I saw the change in Remus back at Hogwarts. He was so devastated after what happened to Hermione. It was, in some ways, the worst I've ever seen him." Sirius paused, recalling a few conversations with Remus in his quarters at Hogwarts. He could clearly remember the miserable self-hatred Remus had felt.

"And?" Harry prodded after Sirius fell silent.

"And," Sirius continued, "As he became closer to Hermione. As their friendship developed and he helped her through it all, he became a lot happier. I daresay he's happier than he was before what Malfoy did. Almost as happy as we all were back when we were kids at Hogwarts."

"And Hermione?"

"Well I don't know Hermione as well as you do, but doesn't she seem so much happier? She had a rough couple of months, but now it's almost as if none of it ever even happened. Haven't you seen that change in her?"

Harry nodded, looking up from the ground to meet Sirius' gaze. "I have. She's a lot happier."

"Do you know what else I've noticed?" Sirius leaned forward.

"What?"

"They both have so much more hope," he said softly. "The transformations hardly bother them anymore. They're stronger together."

Harry still looked pensive. Sirius continued, "it's strange and unconventional, Harry. There will certainly be a lot of people that get upset about their relationship because of the age difference or their past. But you need to support Hermione. You're her best friend and you need to trust her judgment. Don't walk away from her."

He shook his head. "I won't- I don't want to walk away from her. Of course I'll support her. I was just… I was angry and confused and after we caught them like _that_ I didn't understand what was going on."

Sirius remembered the sight they'd walked in on. Remus and Hermione snogging like teenagers in the library was certainly not the best way to open up about their relationship to others. "I know," Sirius said placatingly, "and it's okay that you were upset at first, but now you need to talk to her and tell her you support her. Okay?"

Harry sighed. "Yeah. Of course. But… but first I want to talk to Remus."

Sirius couldn't resist the smile that spread across his face. The determined look in Harry's eye was a mirror image to one James had often worn. "Alright. Just… be careful. I don't think Remus is in a good place right now. Perhaps it would be best to wait until tomorrow."

Harry nodded. "Tomorrow."

* * *

Her bedroom was cold and drafty tonight. Hermione stepped over Ginny's haphazardly tossed clothes, moving towards her bed. Ginny's bed was empty tonight, and Hermione thought she knew why. Harry and Ginny had recently discovered how romantic the gardens were in the evening. Hermione had an idea of what was happening when she spotted Harry carrying several blankets outside earlier that night.

She sighed, removing her shorts and socks and climbing into bed. Immediately, Crookshanks jumped up onto the bed beside her, curling into her side. Hermione stroked the half-Kneazle's fur softly, thinking about everything that had happened tonight.

Neither Harry nor Ron had spoken to her. Not that Hermione had tried to approach them, that is. She knew Sirius was going to try to explain things to Harry. The boys still needed time. Hermione could wait to speak to them; she had too much on her mind with the approaching full moon anyway.

Remus also hadn't spoken a word to her since his departure from the library. At dinner he barely even looked at her, simply chatting with Sirius the whole time. Hermione desperately wanted to visit his bedroom now that everyone was asleep, but she thought better of it. Remus needed time and space, just like Harry and Ron. She would seek him out soon to talk about what happened, but he needed at least twelve hours, she figured. Or perhaps she should just wait until the full moon tomorrow night…

Her mind was so full of racing thoughts and worries. She shifted about in bed restlessly. Crookshanks had enough of her incessant movements and, with a grumpy hiss, leapt off of Hermione's bed and onto Ginny's. Hermione sighed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to turn her brain off. She couldn't.

_Well,_ she thought, _if I'm wide-awake I might as well do something productive._

With that idea, she sat up in bed, sliding out from under the covers and putting some shorts and a jumper on. She left her bedroom quietly, having plenty of practice at avoiding the creaking floorboards in the old house. Slowly, she made her way to the other side of the floor, where Snape's potions lab was located. When she nudged the door open – Snape had adjusted the wards so she and Remus could both enter the lab – she was surprised to see Snape himself standing within the room, hunched over a cauldron.

"Oh," she murmured, "Hello, Professor Snape."

"Granger," he greeted her lowly, eyes still focused on whatever potion he was dutifully stirring, "why are you here so late? Is Lupin finally keeping his distance?"

Hermione frowned at his snide comment. He had no idea of what had happened at the library. His eyes stayed watching her, so she felt the need to reply. "I'm not in the mood for it," she murmured.

An expression overtook his face that she could only describe as mild surprise. Hermione chose to ignore it. "Is there anything you need brewed?" she asked, "I'm waiting for my next batch of Strengthening Solution to mature so I may as well do something else while I wait."

He quirked an eyebrow, "Avoiding the subject, now?" While he said this he opened up one of the cupboards to his left. Within it sat a variety of potion bottles, all of different colors and sizes. "It looks like I'm low on Calming Draught. You can explain what happened today while you brew it."

To say that Hermione was taken aback was an understatement. Was he actually interested in what had happened today? Was he concerned? Or was he simply curious and looking for a bit of gossip? She highly doubted that the latter was true. Nevertheless, perhaps it wasn't that bad to speak to someone about this. She'd only spoke to Ginny for a few minutes, and sometimes, as much as she loved that girl, Ginny's opinions could be a little close-minded and tiresome. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to get all this off her mind and see what Snape had to say.

"What makes you think something happened today?" she asked coolly, moving over to another cupboard and gathering the ingredients she would need for the Calming Draught. She had the recipe memorized by heart, and could check each ingredient off the list in her mind.

"You're obviously distressed and sleepless right now," he replied, methodically stirring the cauldron before him, "and when I entered the room during dinner to deliver the Evening Prophet there was a distinct tension in the room. Especially between yourself, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, and Lupin."

Hermione took a deep breath, placing an armful of ingredients on her workstation beside the cauldron. She internally debated telling Snape or not for a solid thirty seconds. Finally, she came to the conclusion that she might as well tell him; after all, she was already fairly certain that he suspected her romantic involvement with Remus. With another deep breath, she began, "Well… you know how Remus and I have grown close recently, right?"

Snape nodded curtly. "More than simply 'close,' I'd say."

Hermione didn't look up at him, chopping up her ingredients one-by-one. "Yes," she muttered, "Er- quite." A blush was rising on her cheeks, she was sure of it. "Well, we had hoped to keep our…. _relationship_ a secret for a while longer. Today Harry and the others found out." The details of _how_ they had found out weren't exactly important – plus she didn't want to describe to Snape how she had experienced such an overpowering need to snog Remus – so she moved on, "and they were upset about it, to say the least."

Snape nodded thoughtfully, urging Hermione to continue. She stuttered through her words, confused at why Snape was being so understanding about this, and taking it all in stride like he'd known all along. "Ron started shouting, of course. We eventually got him to calm down but by that time Harry was storming out of the room. They're both very upset with Remus and myself, but I don't know whether I simply need to give them time or try to talk about this." Hermione took a deep breath, staring down into her cauldron as it began to bubble, "On top of that, Remus has hardly said a word to me since it happened." Her voice sounded choked and tearful. She hated it, and she winced in anticipating of some biting comment from Snape about her weakness.

No biting comment came. Instead, Snape said, with a tone of heavy consideration, "Lupin will certainly come around with time. He's smart enough to realize his mistake in pushing you away. As for Potter and Weasley… they must be much stupider than I initially thought… and I've always believed them to be quite imbecilic."

For some reason, despite the cruelty of the comment, it struck Hermione as extremely funny. She could hold back a small giggle of laughter. Perhaps it was just the amount of stress she was under and the fact that she hadn't smiled all day, but soon she was breaking out into loud laughter, bending over the table and finding tears in her eyes. It was unclear whether they were tears of laughter or something else entirely.

Snape was uncomfortable now. He focused on the potion he was working on, stirring and adding the occasional ingredient. His eyes darted up to her every few seconds, looking at her with a mix of confusion and irritation.

Hermione wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and calmed her laughter. When she finally fell silent and caught her breath, she felt as if a great weight had been lifted off her chest.

"Are you quite done?" Snape asked, glaring at her in his usual menacing manner.

She nodded, unable to resist the smile that spread across her face. "Sorry. I- I'm not really sure why that was so funny."

He didn't respond, simply going back to his potion making. Hermione silently returned to her potion as well, stirring there times clockwise, then three times counterclockwise, just as the recipe in her mind said.

They must have worked for at least an hour in complete silence. Finally, Snape finished his potion. He put out the flame beneath his cauldron and then began to collect the potion in several different vials and bottles, labeling each methodically. Hermione continued to work as he did this. When he was done, he stepped away from his cauldron, towards the door.

"Don't stay up too late, Hermione," he murmured, hardly loud enough to hear, before closing the door behind him and leaving the lab.

Hermione almost dropped her wand into her potion. She picked her head up and stared at the door Snape had just exited through, a smile growing on her face. Snape had called her Hermione. Not _Granger_ or _Miss Granger_. Just Hermione.

Despite everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, she could at least say that her progressing friendship with Snape – or could she daresay, _Severus_? – was one bright spot in a truly awful day.

* * *

It was earlier than usual that Harry awoke the next morning. He had a lot on his mind, and sleep wasn't coming to him.

The young wizard pulled himself out of bed, slipping downstairs to get his morning coffee and wandering to the back of the house, looking out the window onto the gardens. It was then that Harry noticed a figure standing outside, all the way past the gardens, on the edge of the small pond near the grassy clearing.

Harry studied the figure for a moment as he sipped his coffee. The person was shuffling around on the grass, looking out on the pond and the horizon. When he put his hands in his pockets and slumped his shoulders in quite a familiar way, Harry realized exactly who it was standing out there.

Taking a deep breath, and recognizing that this was his opportunity to start the conversation, Harry stepped outside, slowly making his way towards the man.

Remus noticed Harry quickly, turning to look over his shoulder. Harry gave his former professor a tight-lipped smile as he approached.

"Sirius and I spoke last night," Harry murmured, still gripping his coffee mug in one hand.

Remus had returned his gaze out onto the pond and the rising sun shedding glimmering light onto it. "Yes," he said at last, "I was wondering when you would approach me about it." He didn't look like the Remus Harry had grown used to. There were tired lines on his face, and he gazed ahead with blank sort of expression, as if he was fighting the urge to show any emotion. It was so different to the normal Remus, who had always shown some sort of emotion, or at least concentration and thought.

Harry sipped his coffee. "He told me a lot about you and Hermione... I'm surprised I never suspected anything before."

"Yes," Remus exhaled, "we may have been a bit obvious at times. Another lapse in my judgment, I suppose." His words were bitter.

Harry furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

The werewolf turned to look at Harry. "Aren't you here to speak to me about what I did wrong? About the fact that Hermione is still too young? That she doesn't know what she wants?"

"No," Harry said, suddenly very surprised by the angry self-hatred in Remus' eyes. "That-that's not at all what I came here to say…"

Remus swallowed, still wearing a hard frown.

Harry frowned. "Is that what you think? That Hermione's too young and it was all a lapse in judgment?"

Remus looked away, staring down at the rippling water of the pond. His jaw was clenched tightly, as if he was afraid to open his mouth and say something more.

The tickle of irritation within Harry grew into anger. "What, then? Are you going to break it off with her?"

"No, of course not!" Remus blurted, "I just- after what happened yesterday… how everyone reacted…"

"So what?" Harry shouted, "Ron said some cruel things. I took the news badly. That doesn't mean you have to run away with your tail between your legs like this!"

He didn't realize how much he had raised his voice until he stopped shouting. An eerie silence overtook the two men standing on the edge of the pond.

"Don't you see?" Remus whipped his head up to glare at Harry, "That's how everyone's going to react! Many will be much angrier- and for good reason!"

"You know what?" Harry glowered, "Sirius made me realize how much happier you and Hermione have been lately. For a little while I actually though that maybe your relationship was a good thing. But if you're going to be like this and run away at the first frightening thing that happens, then I don't think I could ever support you being with Hermione."

Remus' hard expression fell. He winced, "Harry-"

"No," Harry cut the man off, his tone fierce, "Hermione is too strong, too wonderful, kind, and resilient for you to act like this. If you want to be with her you have to learn to act more like the bloody Gryffindor you are. Because right now you're acting like a coward. She doesn't deserve that."

When Remus didn't say anything, Harry spoke again. "Sort things out with Hermione before I take action and talk to her about this. She may like you a lot, Remus, but that doesn't mean she won't listen to me when I try to urge her to see reason."

With that, Harry turned and strode away, back towards the house. Remus remained standing by the pond for a long time after.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I enjoyed writing Harry in this chapter. Thoughts? I promise that chapter 32 contains some actual Remus/Hermione interaction… what with the full moon and everything...


	32. That Heavenly Beast

**XXXII**

That Heavenly Beast

* * *

Remus stood from the couch in the library, wincing at his sore joints. Slowly, he walked over to the bookshelf and returned the novel he'd been attempting to focus on. Next, he checked the time. Six o'clock. About an hour until moonrise and he could feel the impending full moon in every aching part of his body.

_Best just to head up to the attic now,_ he decided, stepping out of the library and making his way through the house. As he walked past one of the windows facing the gardens, he caught a glimpse of the nearly setting sun behind the greenhouse. Just barely, he could make out Hermione's shadow through the panes of glass.

He still hadn't spoken to Hermione since yesterday evening. She'd holed herself up in the Greenhouse and he hadn't bothered to venture in there and talk to her. He felt awful about it, especially after his conversation with Harry that morning, but he just needed more time to get his thoughts in order before he could speak to her.

Tonight, however, he would have to face her. Once Sirius was gone, in the morning, perhaps, he would apologize.

Remus knew an apology would be best. Harry had proved to him that morning that he was being a coward by running from his problems like this. Of course he didn't want to end their relationship. He'd just been frightened by the reactions they'd received, and it made it quite hard to face Hermione. But now he realized his mistake. Hopefully Hermione would forgive him and together they could move past this.

The attic was empty when he arrived. It was only a matter of minutes before both Sirius and Hermione entered. Hermione looked pale and tired. She barely met his eyes, simply offering him a small, sympathetic smile and then turning to Sirius.

"Is this everything?" Sirius asked Hermione. It was now that Remus noticed the small bag Sirius was holding. He set it down on the dusty floor and opened it. Within were several strange contraptions.

"What is that?" Remus asked, stepping closer when he noticed something that looked suspiciously like a needle.

Hermione took a deep breath, as if anticipating that whatever she was about to say was going to upset the werewolf beside her. "Today I realized that one of the possible sources of error in the potion is that I've been considering the wrong type of blood when I test it. I've been using my blood, as a werewolf in human form, but perhaps I need to use the blood from a werewolf that's actually in a wolf's body."

Remus must have had a very grave look on his face. She began to elaborate; "Sirius is going to draw my blood once I transform. With the wolf's blood I'll be able to test it with the potion in addition to gaining a more clear understanding in the changes in the composition of our blood from human to wolf form."

Remus whipped his head around to look at Sirius. "You agreed to this?"

"All in the name of scientific curiosity," Sirius said laughingly, pulling out the needle and examining it.

He turned back to Hermione, who stood with her arms crossed and her head held high. "But he'll have to transform into a human to draw your blood. He won't be in dog form. That's completely unsafe!"

"Why?" she responded, "we both took our Wolfsbane. Sirius is going to transform into Padfoot at first, and then as long as he feels that we are in our right minds, he'll transform back and draw my blood."

"No," Remus shook his head, looking between the two of them in disbelief, "he's going to draw your blood. Wolfsbane or not, that's going to make the wolf angry. It's a horrible idea, Hermione!"

She frowned. "I'm not going to attack Sirius, and neither are you. Would you rather have him draw _your_ blood?"

"No! He should remain as Padfoot the whole time!" Remus turned and paced across the room, back and forth. The jittering anxiety in his bones was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He turned back to look at the two of them, "I won' t be put in the same bloody position again!"

Hermione's anger turned quickly into solemn sadness. Beside her, Sirius was looking at the ground, his brows pulled together.

Hermione stepped closer, coming up so she was standing just in front of Remus. "Nothing's going to go wrong," she murmured, "Sirius can even put some protective spells up around himself. He'll be fine, but if he needs to, he can transform back to Padfoot in a second."

Remus watched as, slowly, Hermione lifted up a hand, pushing a bit of hair off of his forehead. Her hand came to rest on his cheek, but Remus stepped away, out of her grasp. Hermione looked stricken. Remus instantly regretted stepping away, but he also knew that he just couldn't be that close to her right now. He didn't want her to see all the thoughts that had been running through his mind over the past day, or the nearly suffocating fear he'd experienced when thinking about what could happen if this went wrong.

His eyes fell on Sirius. "Are you really okay with this?"

Sirius nodded, smiling. "I'll be fine. I've witnessed your transformations for years, even without the Wolfsbane. I know it's safe."

Remus picked up a hand and rubbed his face. The full moon was only minutes away; he could sense it. "If you're both certain… then fine. Do it."

Hermione still stood just a foot away, staring at him. He met her gaze with a resigned sadness, remembering the way Harry had yelled at him this morning.

"_Hermione is too strong, too wonderful, kind, and resilient for you to act like this. If you want to be with her you have to learn to act more like the bloody Gryffindor you are, because right now you're acting like a coward. She doesn't deserve that."_

Harry's anger resonated in his mind. He wanted so badly to apologize, to fall on his knees and beg her to forgive him for the horrible way he'd treated her over the last twenty-four hours. But the transformation was too close.

Hermione turned away from Remus and began to give Sirius some final instructions. At last, the transformation was upon them. Sirius shifted into Padfoot. Remus watched Hermione in those final seconds of conscious thought. His last memory before the pain overtook him was Hermione, eyes clenched shut, shoulders hunched over in pain.

The agony of bones breaking and skin ripping apart filled Remus' consciousness. It was worse than usual this month, but that could most likely be accounted to all the stress he'd been under. Still, Remus managed to hold in his screams. He only let a few grunts and whimpers of pain escape. Hermione, on the other hand, screamed and cried out in agony.

Finally, the transformation ended. Remus was left hunched over in wolf form, panting and slowly opening his eyes. Hermione's dark brown fur greeted him, along with a pair of deeper brown eyes, big and beautiful. He watched as Padfoot approached, sniffing Hermione and then Remus, gauging the situation. Remus looked in his friend's animal eyes, conveying that he hadn't lost his mind. The Wolfsbane had worked perfectly, just as Snape's potions always did.

Now it was time for Sirius to begin. Hermione lifted her snout up and down in a human-like nod. The giant black dog trotted over to the other side of the attic, tongue lolling out, and transformed back into a human.

Remus was still anxious, and he watched Hermione closely as Sirius began to gather the needle and syringe to draw her blood. Hermione turned in a circle a few times before dropping to the ground, stretching out on the dusty floorboards.

Sirius approached the wolf cautiously. Remus stood back; still close enough to stop Hermione if she tried to attack Sirius. Hopefully it didn't come to that. At her side, Sirius dropped to his knees, slowly reaching out and grasping one of her legs.

Remus honestly didn't know how difficult it was to draw blood from a wolf, but he suspected that it was fairly complicated. Sirius studied her leg closely, and Remus assumed that Hermione had instructed him exactly what to do here. He took out his wand and cast a quick hair removal spell on a small patch of her fur. Then, taking several seconds to find the vein, he hesitantly lined up the needle.

Remus turned to look at Hermione's face as Sirius did this. Her large brown eyes were focused straight ahead. She flinched, and Remus knew that Sirius had plunged the needle in.

Suddenly, for the strangest reason, Remus found himself fighting the urge to leap over Hermione's prone form and tackle Sirius to the ground. And why shouldn't he? This man, this _human_ was hurting one of his pack. He shook the thought out of his head as quickly as it entered. Sirius was his pack too. There was no need to hurt him.

When Sirius finished drawing her blood, he stepped away, storing the blood in a vial and placing a few spells on it that Remus couldn't identify. At last, Sirius transformed back into the familiar black dog. Remus felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. Everything had gone well. Hermione was fine and Sirius successfully obtained her blood. He could rest at peace now.

* * *

The morning transformation subsided with throbbing pain and discomfort. Remus looked down through hazy vision at his human hands, comforted to not see his wolf body any longer. He was kneeling on the ground, having keeled over from the pain of transforming back to a human. He picked up his head and glanced around the room. Sirius was gone, as he always left just before the transformation began. It was just Remus and Hermione.

She sat silently, her back to him. Remus watched from his tired and fatigued position as Hermione stretched her arms above her head, letting out quiet moans of pain with each miniscule movement. After several seconds, she turned around to face him, a resigned frown on her face. In that moment, everything that had happened over the past couple of days faded from Remus' mind. He didn't care that nearly everyone knew about their relationship. He didn't care that Ronald Bloody Weasley had screamed about how disgusting this was. He didn't care about the war or the consequences or anything. He didn't care.

At last, Hermione began to shift towards Remus. She looked like she was close to crying, and he didn't know if it was from the pain of the transformation or the sadness of this moment. Slowly, she pushed herself into his arms. Remus willingly wrapped his arms around her.

The two of them somehow ended up lying on the ground, Hermione's head on Remus' chest, her hands clutching at his arms and shoulders tightly. Neither cared that they were nude and shivering.

"I'm sorry," Hermione whispered hoarsely, "I shouldn't have tried to snog you in that bloody library."

Remus shook his head, looking down at her. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry for walking away from you like that and being such a prat about it. It was… really stupid of me. The worst part of it is that I don't know how long I would have gone on like that if Harry hadn't spoken to me."

Hermione whipped her head up, pushing up against his chest to look at him. "Harry spoke to you? What did he say?"

Remus exhaled. "A lot of things. In short: I don't deserve you and I've been acting like an arse."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course Harry talked to you. Did- did he say that we should break up?"

He was surprised by her question. "No… he just said that I need to stop acting like a coward. I actually think Sirius convinced him that we should stay together."

She allowed a small smile to curl at the edges of her lips. Remus lifted a hand to run his fingers through the curly fringe of her hair. "I really am sorry," he murmured, "I should have talked to you about what was happening."

Hermione leant down, resting her forehead on his sternum with an air of exhaustion. "It's alright," she said after a moment. "It's okay to be upset, especially after some of the reactions we got. I just don't want this to pull us apart, Remus."

Slowly, Remus traced his fingertips up and down her bare skin. "It won't," he said, looking down at her and admiring her careless and easy beauty, especially after a full moon like the one they'd just had. "I won't let it pull us apart."

Hermione lifted her head to kiss him, softly and languidly. Finally, she pulled away. "Sirius will be back soon. We need to get our potions and I need a bath."

"Sounds good to me," Remus replied, smiling up at her.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much to everyone for getting us to 500 reviews! It's so exciting to see this fic have such a following. I really can't believe it got this far!


	33. Fruition

**XXXIII**

Fruition

* * *

As the days after the full moon passed, the house calmed down and tension dissipated. Hermione was thankful that the others were forgetting about her and Remus' awkward display, but there were still some issues that she needed to resolve. She decided the evening after the full moon that it was time to speak with Harry.

She'd been reading in the library with Remus, stretched out along the couch. Remus sat in the armchair, an appropriate distance away from her. They knew better than to get unnecessarily close in the library anymore.

The couple's comfortable silence was broken as the door to the library creaked open. Harry's head peeked in, but he immediately retreated. "Oh," he murmured, "sorry, I didn't know you guys were in here."

Hermione met Remus' eyes for a split second, trying to convey to him that she needed to talk to Harry. He gave a miniscule nod to her. "Harry, wait," she called out, sitting up and placing her book aside.

"Uh," Harry stepped back in the doorway, looking between Hermione and Remus, "yeah?"

"Come in," Hermione said, "I want to talk." With these words she sent another look at Remus. The werewolf stood slowly from the couch.

Harry stepped into the room, moving toward the couch. Remus smiled genially at Harry, as if trying to ignore the obvious awkwardness in the room. "I need to speak with Sirius about our plan for dueling tomorrow," he said, walking towards the doorway and placing an affectionate hand on Hermione's shoulder as he left.

When the door closed behind Remus, Hermione sat up and patted the end of the couch where her feet had previously been up. Harry sat down. "How are you?" he asked, obviously referring to the full moon.

"I'm okay," she replied, "a little tired, but much better than I was before the full moon."

He nodded. "Look, Hermione," he turned on the couch so that he was half-facing her, "I'm sorry for getting so angry the other day. I know it was a difficult moment for you. After Ron's outburst I probably only made it worse when I should have tried to act rationally."

Hermione smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Thank you for coming around, and you're forgiven. I don't blame you for reacting like that, especially with the position you caught us in."

Harry scoffed. "Yeah. That was a bit of a compromising position."

Hermione groaned. "Don't remind me. I don't think I've ever been so humiliated in my life."

Harry clicked his tongue. "I don't know, I think the fact that you used Polyjuice potion to transform into a cat in second year was slightly more humiliating than that."

"Hey!" She sat up and hit him lightly on the shoulder, "I thought we agreed to never bring that up again!" Before she could protest any further, they were both dissolving into a fit of laughter, falling back against the couch and looking up at the ceiling.

"Remember all the hairballs?" Harry said between breaths.

"Ugh," Hermione covered her face with her hands, "like I could ever forget."

He turned to give her a sidelong glance, still laughing. "You can rest assured that what happened in here the other day was nowhere near as bad as that."

Hermione gave the bespectacled wizard beside her a small smile, covering his hand with her own. "Thank you, Harry. I was so worried about what you thought. It's good to have you back on my side."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "I'm always on your side, Hermione."

She felt a swell of emotion, and leaned in closer to him, once again resting her head on his shoulder.

"Do you love him?" Harry asked after a moment.

Hermione took a deep breath. This was a question she'd been internally struggling with for a while now. She stared down at her hand on top of Harry's. "I think… I think I might."

Harry nodded silently.

"Do you think he loves me?" she asked hesitantly.

"Absolutely," Harry said without missing a beat, "from the way he looks at you alone I can tell that. But the question isn't whether he loves you or not; it's whether he's going to be brave enough to continue this relationship through whatever happens."

When had Harry grown so insightful? Hermione nodded sullenly. "I've been losing sleep over that exact question. He's so wonderful – so caring and kind – but at the same time he's so frightened of what people might think of his relationship with me. He doesn't think he deserves this, no matter how much I tell him that he does."

Harry sighed. "I may not know Remus as well as you do, but I can tell that he's spent a lot of his life hating himself just because he's a werewolf. But you know… the other day when Sirius came to talk to me, I started to realize that Remus is a lot better with you around. I think you just need to keep trying, keep giving him time. One day maybe all his self-hatred and fear could disappear completely."

"That's the hope," Hermione exhaled, thinking of the potion and all the work they'd done together to try to improve the Wolfsbane. She'd always been so certain that she just needed to find success with the potion and get the transformations to stop, and then he'd stop thinking of himself as such a monster. Perhaps it wasn't so much the work of a potion as the work of caring, reassuring friends that he needed.

"I believe in him," Harry murmured, "and I have faith that he's a good match for you."

Hermione sighed, squeezing his hand. "Thank you so much, Harry. You have no idea how relieved I feel after talking to you."

He smiled, "You're welcome. Now let's go get ready for dueling practice."

Hermione nodded, and together they exited the library.

* * *

As time wore on, everyone in the house who knew about Hermione and Remus began to grow used to their relationship. Neville stopped gaping at Remus over the dinner table. Fred and George got back to their usual selves by making constant jokes and innuendos (even around their parents, who still had no idea about the secret relationship). Even Ron stopped glaring at Remus and Hermione whenever they stood near each other. Granted, he was still a bit cold and didn't talk to Hermione much, but at least he wasn't fuming at them.

Days and weeks passed, blending together. Hermione's days were split between spending time with her friends, working in the potions lab, and participating in dueling practice. Her nights were, of course, spent with Remus. They would read late into the night in the library, and she would still sneak in and out of his bedroom most nights.

Eventually, after another Order meeting and some irritating statements from Dumbledore about how unsure he was of when this war would end or when they could all leave the Prince Estate, Hermione grew frustrated and restless. She threw herself into her work more than ever. The experiments on the Wolfsbane Potion advanced at a tremendous rate until finally, one day, everything came to fruition.

Hermione had been working in the Potions Lab since seven in the morning. It was five in the afternoon now. She'd only taken a short, thirty-minute break when Remus had brought her a sandwich for lunch. Today was simply too productive a day for her to rest or do anything else. That morning Neville had approached Hermione with a new theory on how to use the lovage root – first putting it in the Strengthening Solution like they'd done before, but also dissolving peppermint leaves into the strengthening solution.

Neville had claimed that peppermint could help focus the effects they wanted to utilize from the lovage – reversing its mind-altering qualities and allowing the potion to remain in the bloodstream longer, perhaps even permanently if they used it correctly. Hermione found all of Neville's claims logically sound, and she had thrown herself into using peppermint in the new Strengthening Solution all day.

Now here she was, pulling the lovage root out of the Strengthening Solution, preparing to drop it into the Altered Wolfsbane Potion. Snape stood across the lab, and she could feel his eyes on her. _Was he nervous?_ It certainly seemed like it, judging from the fact that he had completely abandoned tending to the bruise salve he was brewing.

With extreme care, Hermione deposited the soaked lovage root into the cauldron containing the Wolfsbane. Next, she stirred the cauldron three times clockwise. It slowly turned to a dulled orange color. She could hear Snape stepping away from his cauldron and toward her. Once he was at her side, he reached under the table to fetch the blood samples. The final test was adding the potion to each blood sample and seeing how it reacted. That meant three different samples this time: the human blood, from Snape; the werewolf blood in human form, from Hermione; and the werewolf blood in wolf form, also from Hermione.

She readied the potion as Snape opened the first vial, labeled '_Human Sample'_ and Hermione poured a few drops of the potion into it. It darkened for a second before reverting to the normal deep red color. That was exactly the reaction they wanted from human blood.

Next came the vial labeled '_Lycan Sample – human form.'_ Severus opened the vial and Hermione held her breath as she poured a few drops of the potion in.

They were looking for Hermione's blood to have no visible reaction to the potion. Last time this was the exact part when everything failed. Hermione remembered her breakdown right here in the lab. A part of her was glad that Remus wasn't here to see it if it all fell apart right now.

The orange potion dripped into the vial of blood. Hermione was still holding her breath, trying to keep her hand from shaking. She counted ten seconds passing, not seeing any visible change in the color of the blood. Last time it had changed instantly, the exact same change as in the reaction with Snape's blood. This was _good_.

"So far so good," Hermione murmured, looking up at Snape as she withdrew her wand to cast the potency spell. Snape wore an unreadable expression, studying the potion intently. She uttered the incantation and flicked her wand. The vial glowed a bight yellow color. Yellow indicated that it was extremely potent. A grin broke across Hermione's face, "I think… it worked."

Snape took a deep breath, and it almost seemed like a breath of relief. "For now," he said, "let's test it on the wolf blood before we jump to conclusions."

She nodded, watching as the Potions Master retrieved the other vial, labeled '_Lycan Sample – wolf form_.' If the potion worked as Hermione predicted, the reaction should yield the same potency as before. Sure enough, when she performed the potency spell a moment later, the vial glowed bright yellow.

Hermione was speechless. That was perfect. It had worked- she was sure of it now. A glance up at Snape told her that he was just as shocked as her. His usual tight-lipped expression was replaced by one of mild surprise, which was extreme even for Snape.

A wide smile stretched across Hermione's face. "It worked," she finally murmured. Before she could think much more on her next action, she launched forward and wrapped her arms around Snape. In retrospect, it was probably a bit forward to try to hug Professor Snape, but he didn't lash out in response. He didn't hex her like she half-expected him to, but instead returned an awkward pat on the back.

Hermione was beaming when she pulled away. "I have to find Remus and Neville," she said, quickly corking the vial and barreling out of the lab.

Just as the door shut behind her, she heard Snape say a quiet, but sincere "well done." These words made her heart lift even more.

She found Neville first, descending the main staircase. "Neville!" She nearly shouted, charging towards him and grabbing his hand, "Come with me, we have to find Remus."

Neville sputtered out a few confused words before he surrendered and allowed Hermione to drag him down the remaining steps and towards the drawing room.

Remus was in the drawing room with Sirius, Tonks, and Mr. Weasley. They were discussing something that probably had to do with Order business or the war, judging by Remus' grim expression. Hermione didn't want to interrupt, but she was far too impatient to see the look on Remus' face when she told him that the potion had worked.

She and Neville entered the room and Hermione made a beeline for Remus. "Remus," she said, butting into a lapse in the conversation, "I need you to come with me."

His eyes shot up at her and Neville, brows pulled together in confusion. "Why?" he asked warily.

"It's important," she said, pacing over to him and pulling him up from his seated position. She proceeded to attempt to drag him from the drawing room, though he was much stronger than her and resisted well.

"Excuse me," Remus said at last, looking at the other occupants of the room, especially Mr. Weasley, who watched Hermione suspiciously. She would have time to deal with the rest of them soon. They could come clean about the potion now that it was a success.

Hermione ignored the questions of Neville and Remus the whole way up to the lab. Finally, they arrived. She shut the door behind them and pulled them over to her workstation, where Snape stood inspecting her potion.

"It worked," she announced, looking at Remus and Neville with a broad grin.

Their jaws dropped. "What?" Neville sputtered, "The potion?"

Remus stepped closer, looking at the potion, and then at Snape. "Is this true?"

Snape nodded. "It appears to have been a success," he murmured stonily, looking at Remus and Hermione, ignoring Neville.

Remus broke out into a beaming smile, grabbing Hermione and pulling her towards him. She returned the embrace, laughing happily and not caring about Neville and Snape witnessing this.

"You did it," Remus whispered.

Hermione's smile broadened. She pulled away from Remus after a moment and stepped towards Neville. He was grinning at the cauldron in disbelief. "It was really Neville's idea to use Peppermint. That was the final step. We owe everything to Neville."

Neville's eyes brightened and his smile widened as he looked at Hermione, then at Remus. "Thank you, Neville," Remus said sincerely from behind Hermione. She reached behind her to grasp his hand, still smiling at Neville.

"But," Snape continued, interrupting the tender moment with a scowl, "we have yet to test the potion during the full moon. That alone will be the final proof of its success."

"The next full moon is in a week," Hermione responded without missing a beat. "We'll test it then."

Remus furrowed his brow and freed his hand from Hermione's so he could face Snape. "Are we sure this is safe?"

"No," Snape answered before Hermione could. "There are many possible results, ranging from general failure to death. We won't know until the potion is tested."

"I take it before the full moon," Hermione said, "we can test it on me."

"No," Remus interjected sternly, shaking his head, "we should test it on me. Then you can observe, Hermione."

Hermione narrowed her eyes, turning to face Remus. Snape looked irritated and Neville uncomfortable. "Why can't I take it? I _am_ the one who made the potion."

"That doesn't mean you should put yourself in danger like this," Remus looked pained. "Hermione, I got you into this mess. I don't want to see you getting hurt any further. Let me test it, please."

She crossed her arms, still standing tall. "We'll both test it. Together."

Remus exhaled, as if trying to find an argument. Before he could say anything more, Snape interrupted, "We should contact Albus." His gaze focused on Hermione, "you can announce this at the Order meeting tonight. Everyone should have a chance to weigh in on how this potion should be tested."

"Excellent idea, Severus," Remus said.

Hermione frowned at him. Remus was only saying that because he knew that most of the Order, especially Mrs. Weasley, would agree that Remus alone should test it. Hermione would have to figure out a way to convince them. She could start with talking to Dumbledore. "Fine," she said, looking from Snape to Remus to Neville, "I'll talk to Professor Dumbledore before the meeting, and then we can tell the others."

This would be a challenge, and Hermione had no idea what reactions she would receive when they told everyone about the potion. Still, despite all of this, Hermione was filled with an overwhelming happiness that after so much difficulty, she had succeeded.

* * *

**Author's Note:** First off, sorry for the delay. I had a crazy busy week and a bit of writer's block to top it off. Chapter 34 should come out much faster, and will include some Remus/Hermione action, because we haven't had that in a while.

Lastly, I'm estimating about three or four chapters left in this story. That's insane, isn't it? I can't believe we're so close to the end! I'd like to finish the whole thing by July (so I can participate in Camp NaNoWriMo with a new project) but we'll see if I can actually do all that writing in four days. Wish me luck!


	34. Her Kind

**XXXIV**

Her Kind

* * *

Hermione bounced her knee nervously beneath the table. Her eyes were trained on Professor Dumbledore, standing at the head of the large table, calling the attention of the room. Everyone was here for the Order meeting, gathered in the small dining room of the Estate. She'd only spoken to Dumbledore fifteen minutes ago when he first arrived. It was a quick conversation, in which Hermione explained the alterations on the Wolfsbane and the success they'd found. She told Dumbledore that she wished to share it with the rest of the Order tonight in order to figure out how they were going to test it. Dumbledore had agreed, and now here they were.

"Now," the Headmaster sighed, eyes narrowing in on Hermione, "before we begin with the usual reports, I'd like to give Miss Granger a moment to make an announcement."

He nodded at her and she tentatively stood up, feeling reassuring smiles from Remus and Neville to her left and right. "Hi, everyone," she looked around the table, cursing this strange onset of anxiety. She paused, taking a deep breath, before she proceeded to explain, "As most of you know, I've been a werewolf for several months now. This has given me a lot of time to think about my condition, and the condition of others who share the same affliction." Beside her, Remus shifted uncomfortably as a few eyes were drawn his way.

"Anyway," Hermione continued, "I started looking into the Wolfsbane potion because, naturally, my interest in it increased the more it affected my life. After a lot of research, I decided to try experimenting with the potion. Professor Snape and Remus helped me a lot back at Hogwarts, and Neville started to assist here at the Estate. Earlier today we found success with an alteration on the potion. Together, we have created what seems to be an improved Wolfsbane Potion that stops the physical transformation from human to wolf."

The room went dead silent. People had been shifting around a moment ago, looking at Remus, Snape, and Neville. Now, however, they were all frozen still, staring at Hermione alone.

"W-what?" Bill Weasley was the first to speak, incredulity lacing his tone.

Hermione allowed herself a small huff of laughter. "I know it sounds insane."

"It does," Kingsley spoke next, "you mean to say that you've essentially cured lycanthropy?"

She shook her head, "I wouldn't exactly call it a _cure_. It's more of an improved way to manage the disease and we're still not entirely sure it'll work during the full moon-"

"It's a cure," Remus interrupted, "to all extents and purposes, this potion is a cure. Werewolves will still be werewolves, but there will be nothing about them, at least physically, that gives that away. No more transformations. No more pain. No more accidental victims." His words grew more and more emotional, and his eyes turned to meet Hermione's. They'd hardly had a moment to themselves since she'd dragged him into the lab earlier today. Still, he hadn't left her side or stopped praising her since. He looked happy. _So_ happy. It was almost worth everything Hermione had gone through just for the happiness she saw in Remus now.

"That's what you were doing all that time in Snape's lab," Harry murmured, the realization hitting him. On either side of him sat Ginny and Ron, both gaping at her.

Hermione nodded.

"Bloody hell, Granger," George mused, "we knew you were smart-"

"But not a bloody prodigy," Fred continued.

"Language, boys," Mrs. Weasley chided, before turning to Hermione, who was now blushing. "Well done, Hermione," the woman said, "but I'm not surprised. You're a gifted young woman." Beside her, Mr. Weasley nodded firmly in agreement.

"I really can't take all the credit," Hermione said earnestly, "in fact, the potion would have never been even close to working without Neville. He's the gifted one."

Neville was blushing as well now, looking down at his fidgeting hands. Ginny gave him a firm pat on the back.

"Professor Snape and Remus deserve a lot of the credit as well. Without Remus' years of insight I wouldn't have known half the things that I do about lycanthropy. And without Professor Snape's support I wouldn't have even had a lab to work in."

There were several minutes more of congratulations and explanations. Finally, Dumbledore interrupted again. "I believe there is still one more thing we need to address, the reason Miss Granger has brought this discussion to us tonight."

"Yes," Hermione nodded, "of course." She turned back to the rest of the group, "we haven't conducted a physical test during the full moon yet. That will be the final proof of the potions success… or lack thereof. Therefore, Remus and I need to figure out how to test the potion and remain safe in case it fails. We won't take another form of Wolfbane, so it is possible that the potion will fail and we will lose our human consciousness."

"Then how do you know it's safe to test it?" Harry asked.

"We don't," Remus muttered, gazing at Hermione. He obviously was still upset about the idea of her testing the potion at all. But she simply _had_ to. There was no other option in her mind.

"Remus and I are both willing to take that risk," Hermione said, "the only problem is that we need a safe location to spend the full moon. It would probably be wisest to leave the Estate."

Mrs. Weasley shook her head. "I don't like the sound of this. Leaving the Estate is not safe at all. There are too many people trying to find us."

"But perhaps there is a safe location, unknown to any Death Eaters or…" Hermione trailed off, a brilliant idea hitting her. She whipped around to face Remus, "We'll go to your house!"

He furrowed his brow, searching her face. "I suppose that is a fairly secure place," he conceded after a moment, "although the wards would probably need to be redone."

"We can do that," Hermione said confidently, turning to look around at the rest of the room. Her eyes settled on Dumbledore, who sat at the head of the table, watching Hermione and Remus.

"Remus' house is indeed very well-hidden," Dumbledore said, "but I am cautious about having you leave the Estate."

"I don't like the sound of this," Mrs. Weasley spoke up, crossing her arms over her chest.

"But we need to test the potion," Hermione said, pleadingly, "It could change the world… at least for us." She knew she was trying to manipulate them by appealing to the emotional aspect of it, but it really was something she felt strongly about it. She didn't want to wait a single month longer to use the potion, and Remus certainly felt the same.

"I'd be willing to travel to Lupin's house and sort out the wards," Snape spoke up.

Hermione turned to him, grinning. It was perfect. Snape was probably the most skilled with wards out of anyone she'd ever met. Surely his handiwork could keep Remus' house safe and Hermione and Remus contained in case anything went wrong.

Dumbledore nodded his approval, "I trust your abilities, Severus."

Two seats down from her, Hermione heard Sirius murmur a quiet "_I don't_" before he cleared his throat and spoke up louder, "I'll accompany them, of course."

Dumbledore nodded once more, "yes, it would be safer with you there during the night, Sirius."

Over the next several minutes, the plan was solidified further. After Dumbledore agreed to it, no one else bothered to protest, though Hermione was sure Mrs. Weasley was seething on the inside at how dangerous she thought this plan was. Finally, though, they moved on. The usual Order business ensued and then the meeting finally ended.

Dinner followed the closing of the meeting. Mrs. Weasley levitated out dishes and plates of food while everyone else dug in. Dinnertime conversation mainly consisted of everyone asking questions about the potion and Hermione, Neville, or Remus answering them. Remus held Hermione's hand underneath the table, knowing that it made her a little anxious to talk about the potion when they still weren't one hundred percent sure it had worked. Hermione could tell that Harry, Ron, and Ginny were all a bit irritated that she hadn't told them, but she knew they would eventually understand why she'd wanted to keep it secret.

It was much later in the night when Hermione finally slipped away from everyone, creeping towards Remus' room with practiced confidence. She slipped inside and found him standing at the window, gazing outside at the moonlit gardens.

Hermione quietly sidled up to him, standing at his side and following his gaze. "Hello there," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist and inclining his head to look down at her, "busy day, huh?"

Hermione chuckled, still studying the gardens outside, "you can say that again."

Remus turned so that he was fully facing her. His hand lifted and tangled in her wildly curly hair. "Hermione," he murmured, her name flowing from his lips in the most divine way, "you're such a wonderful, talented person. I don't deserve you."

She shook her head, finally tearing her eyes from the gardens and meeting his gaze with sternness, "you always say that and I don't know why. You deserve so much Remus. Much more than any normal person because of what you've gone through."

He smiled down at her fondly.

"And you know," she continued, "I didn't put so much time and effort into that potion just for you. It's for everyone; me and you and all the werewolves in the world."

"Of course," he conceded, "I was getting big headed there for a moment, thinking you did all of this for me."

She laughed, stepping forward and tucking her head into the crook of his neck, wrapping her arms around his torso. "I really hope it works," she whispered after a long moment.

His hand rubbed up and down her back slowly, "It will. Even on the slightest chance that it doesn't, I'm sure it'll only need a few minor alterations. There's a solution out there, and I really believe you've found it."

"Thank you for having faith in me," she said, pulling her head back to look at him, "especially after I thought I'd failed completely."

He shook his head, "you knew you hadn't failed. It was just a setback."

Another smile broke across her face, and this time she couldn't resist standing up on her toes and kissing him. He kissed back, lacing his fingers through her hair and cradling her head. The kiss quickly turned passionate. Hermione had been throwing herself into her work lately, without much energy when she spent her nights with Remus. She could never get enough of the moments like these, as seldom as they sometimes came.

He had her pressed against a wall in a matter of minutes, pushing his hips into hers. Hermione writhed against him as he kissed her neck, knowing just the spot to find.

"Want you so badly," he murmured, "always want you." His hips pressed persistently into hers, and she could feel his hardness against her stomach.

"Bed," Hermione whispered breathily, unbuttoning his shirt as she pushed him forward.

They fell onto the bed while hurriedly removing their clothing. In seconds Hermione was beneath Remus, tangling her fingers in his hair as he kissed down from her neck to her breasts to her stomach. One of his fingers was rubbing lazy circles at the spot where her thigh met her hip. That drove Hermione wild and he knew it. There was a smug smile on his face while he teased her further, kissing back up to her breasts and then down again to her stomach.

"Just get on with it already," she said exasperatedly, shaking her head at his smugness.

"Whatever you say," he whispered, trailing his lips down from her stomach abruptly.

Hermione nearly screamed when his mouth came to its destination. She restrained herself by tightly grabbing fistfuls of the duvet, unsure of whether Remus had cast a silencing charm and not wanting to _actually_ scream.

His tongue was doing wonderful things to her, laving at her clit in a tender but effective manner. They'd done this once before, just last week. Hermione had always found it weird to think of someone pleasuring her with their mouth, but knowing Remus' general talents with kissing, she'd agreed to give it a try. The first time was a little awkward just because of Hermione's anxiety, but Remus had brought her to orgasm eventually with his mouth alone.

This time, her nervousness was long gone and she could simply focus on the divine sensation of his lips and tongue. She clamped her mouth closed tightly the whole time, only allowing small moans to escape her throat instead of the screams of pleasure that were fighting to get out.

Remus was a reverent, attentive lover. She'd not had experience with anyone else, but Hermione knew that he was still a level above many men out there (a conversation with Ginny and Tonks a few weeks ago had proved this). He was gentle and loving usually, but more aggressive around the full moon. She loved both sides of him equally, and a part of her wondered if he would lose some of his aggressiveness with the new Wolfsbane. It didn't matter, all worth it in the end.

Hermione was drawn from any semblance of thought when Remus let out a hum of pleasure against her core. She arched her back and opened her mouth to allow a quiet cry to escape. He was more insistent now, knowing exactly how to draw her over the edge.

It was moments before she was shaking and her toes were curling. Remus had to hold down her hips with either hand to keep her still. Yet he appeared to be reveling in her pleasure. When she came down from her climax he quickly moved up her body, lips falling on hers intently.

She could taste herself on his lips, and somehow that made any post-coital languor dissipate instantly. She still wanted him so badly. And he wanted her.

When he pushed inside of her in one steady movement, she was lost in the sensation. His mouth on her had been amazing, but nothing could compare to the intimacy she felt with him now.

Remus kissed her shoulder and then her neck before slowly beginning to move, rocking back and forth. Hermione resisted the urge to let out a low whine, instead deciding to grasp his shoulders firmly with her hands and hook her legs around his waist.

Her chest was heaving with all the overwhelming sensations. She felt a rush of intense emotion coupled with the feeling of Remus filling her completely.

"You're so amazing, Hermione," Remus whispered between kisses trailing her neck and shoulders.

Hermione let out a slight breathy laugh, "you're going to have to stop flattering me. I might get a big head."

He laughed in response, but the lightheartedness quickly changed into something much more intense. Remus pulled his head back to meet her eyes, "I wouldn't care. You'd still be perfect in every way."

She was caught up in his gaze for a long moment, only breaking the eye contact when Remus hit an especially sensitive spot and she had to tip her head back in pleasure. After that it was moments before she was toeing the line again, reading to dive over the edge of this wildly intense pleasure.

They came together, gasping quietly and holding onto each other tightly. After, Remus fell onto the bed beside Hermione. She turned and rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the simple feeling of being so close to him. That thought lulled her to sleep, and soon she was lost completely to sweet, vague dreams of Remus and herself like this forever.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I took a break from writing chapter 36 to post this because I've been writing for about two hours straight and my fingers ache. My four days of writing have gone very well, in case anyone was wondering. I'm going to try my best to finish everything up tonight and then move onto the final touches of planning my novel for Camp NaNoWriMo (which starts tomorrow- there's still time to join!). It's all very exciting. Leave me a review to cheer me on?


	35. Many waters cannot quench thy love

**XXXV**

Many waters cannot quench thy love

* * *

Somehow, on the morning after the Order meeting, Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and Ron found the dining room to themselves. It was about seven in the morning, usually the time when people flocked there to eat their breakfast. This morning, however, the room was empty except for the four friends.

"Porridge again, Hermione?" Harry asked, crinkling his nose at the bowl in front of Hermione.

"Oh shush," Hermione waved a dismissive hand at him, "I happen to like it. It's not like your grease-coated eggs and bacon are much better."

"Worse, I'd say," Ginny interjected, looking at Harry and Ron's plates, which were filled with large portions of eggs and bacon covered with a sheen of grease.

"Enough about food," Harry cut in, taking his seat beside Ron and looking across the table at Hermione, "I want to hear details about this potion."

Hermione swallowed her bite of porridge, looking around at the three other occupants of the room. They all watched her expectantly. "There's not really much to say," Hermione finally muttered, "unless you want a twenty-minute lecture on the mechanics of blood-altering potions."

All three winced. They'd all had their fair share of academic lectures from Hermione and it was quite obviously too early in the morning for another one.

"Not details about the actual potion," Harry elaborated, "just how it came to be. And why you kept it a secret from us. I'm still pretty confused about that, actually."

Hermione nodded. She hadn't had much time to talk to any of them alone last night after the Order meeting. Even when she'd gotten a moment with Ginny or Harry, they both seemed too concerned about the plan for testing the potion to ask about it's actual conception. Ron, on the other hand, hadn't even tried to speak to her last night. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't had a real conversation with Ron at all since the incident in the library a couple weeks ago.

"Well," the witch began to explain, "you know I've always been the type of person who wants to help others."

"Yes," Ginny cut in, "we all remember S.P.E.W…"

Hermione rolled her eyes, "yes, well, it was sort of like that, I guess. I realized how badly werewolves have it, and after I spent more time learning about lycanthropy, the idea hit me to look into altering the potion. It all progressed from there."

"And the secretiveness?" Harry prodded.

She sighed, looking down at her porridge and lazily stirring it with her spoon. "I knew it was very possible that I'd fail completely and make a fool of myself. Professor Snape reminded me of that possibility often. I know that you guys think I can accomplish almost anything I set my mind to, but I didn't want to disappoint myself or any of you if I failed."

A somber silence descended over the room. Ron broke the silence a moment later, "well we _do_ think you can do anything, Hermione, and you haven't proved us wrong yet, not even with this."

She couldn't help smiling broadly at Ron. They'd been in a bit of a bad place for a few weeks after her relationship with Remus was revealed in such an awful way, but this seemed like a sign that Ron was finally accepting the reality of it.

"Proved them wrong about what?"

Draco's voice made Hermione jump. He strode into the dining room with a plate identical to Harry and Ron's, heaping pile of food and all. Without hesitation, he sat down next to Hermione, looking around at the group, waiting for one of them to explain.

"About the fact that Hermione can do nearly anything," Ginny explained.

Draco nodded, considering it for a moment before adding, "anything but flying on a broom."

Harry and Ron burst out in laughter. Hermione frowned at Draco, "I don't even _want_ to be good at flying."

"You're also not very good at identifying human versus cat hairs," Ron said quickly, causing Harry to burst into another round of laughter. This time Ginny was chuckling softly too.

Hermione glared at the boys and Ginny. "I really can't wait for the day when you guys will stop bringing that up," she said exasperatedly.

"Am I missing something here?" Draco inquired, eyes narrowed at the four of them.

"Trust me, Draco, you don't want to know," Harry said, still grinning.

After the room had calmed down some, Draco spoke again. "Really, though, Granger, you don't have to explain the cat hair thing to me, but I want to know why everyone was buzzing about you and Longbottom last night."

Hermione appraised Draco. Seeing nothing but curiosity in his expression, she hesitantly decided to explain the general idea of the potion to him. It wouldn't hurt to tell him at this point, especially now that the whole household knew.

About five minutes later Hermione finished explaining the basics to Draco, with a few interruptions from Harry, Ginny, and Ron along the way.

"Merlin, Granger," Draco mused, "I think I've underestimated you over all these years."

"I really can't take all the credit," Hermione interjected, "and I certainly don't need any more praise, Draco."

He scoffed, "I'm a Malfoy, I don't _praise_ people. I was just expressing my surprise."

"Whatever," Hermione huffed, rolling her eyes almost in-sync with Harry, Ron, and Ginny.

It was only moments before a rush of people entered the dining room, carrying food and coffee and tea with them. The group's privacy was interrupted, but Hermione was extremely satisfied and relieved after the conversation she'd just had. She felt like everything was right again with her friends. She actually felt like everything was relatively okay in her life in general. That was, until Snape stepped into the dining room with that morning's copy of the Prophet, bringing with him a harsh dose of reality.

Mr. Weasley was always the first to look over the Prophet. He gazed at the cover while Fred, George, and Sirius squeezed into the room behind his chair. It only took seconds for his face to pale, his eyes almost involuntarily glancing up to Hermione, and then to Remus, who had just entered and sat beside Hermione. Hermione noticed the worried glance in her direction, and immediately knew that something was wrong.

"What is it, Arthur?" Remus asked.

Several heads turned towards the head of the table. Mr. Weasley slowly lowered the paper, placing it on the surface in front of him. "There have been more attacks," he explained, voice strangely devoid of emotion. He slid the paper down the table so it landed just in front of Hermione and Remus. They read the cover while many others read over their shoulders and from across the table.

_**WEREWOLF MAULINGS PLAGUE BRITAIN**_

"_With as many as six reported werewolf maulings on this past month's full moon, and three attacks within the week from a werewolf outside of the full moon, it is obvious that a pattern is developing, a pattern that has many all across Wizarding Britain highly concerned._

_According to the Auror Office of the Ministry of Magic, only two victims have died from the injuries they sustained during the attacks. The remaining victims attacked during the full moon were checked into St. Mungo's and later diagnosed with Lycanthropy. Edmund Burr, head of the Ministry Department of Magical Law Enforcement, recently released this information along with a statement about the attacks. 'This all seems to be the work of one werewolf in particular, who goes by the name of Fenrir Greyback,' said Burr. 'We urge anyone with any information whatsoever to contact the Auror Office immediately.'"_

Hermione couldn't read any further. She felt nauseous. A look at Remus' pale complexion told her that he was feeling the same.

_So many innocent people infected._ Thoughts of how difficult and horrible life would suddenly become for all these people clouded her mind. It was awful.

Hermione brought her hand up to her face, rubbing her forehead and trying to refrain from crying. Remus' hand on her back brought a welcome wave of comforting stabilization.

People were murmuring around the table. Hermione could feel the eyes on Remus and herself. She finally pulled herself together and sat up straight. "I suppose we needed a dose of reality," she murmured. "The war is still going on and there are still awful things happening out there."

"But you have the potion now," Harry said, his voice almost hopeful, "a lot of these people can be helped now."

Hermione nodded. "Yes, but there's still a lot of work ahead of us before we can actually give them the potion." Plus, it wasn't like Fenrir Greyback was going to stop mauling people. He'd _killed_ two of them. Her gaze trailed to Remus, who looked more shaken-up than she'd seen him in a long, long time. In fact, the last time he'd looked this upset was after he'd found out about infecting _her_. He knew what misery these people were going through, because Greyback had infected him too, long ago, and he'd experienced all that pain firsthand.

This was why they needed the potion to work. They needed it badly.

* * *

As the days until the full moon passed, Hermione suddenly found herself with much more free time. She still worked on the potion and trying to solidify the evidence that it would be a success, but there was only so much work she could do now.

Instead of wasting away in the Potions Lab or the Library, she chose to spend more time with her friends, feeling like she needed to do this while she could. She didn't know how things were going to change after the full moon, but something inside her was certain that they were going to change drastically.

Thus, Hermione spent an abundance of time with her friends; walking around the pond, watching Harry, Ron, and Ginny fly above the gardens on brooms, and anything else they could think of. She even found herself spending time with Draco and actually enjoying his company. They would sit in the library and debate over a cup of tea. One dispute over Transfiguration Regulation and illegal Animagi ran so late into the night that Remus went out looking for Hermione, only to find her arguing heatedly with Draco in front of the fireplace.

As the full moon drew even closer and the symptoms started to set in, Hermione and Remus picked up on their habit of jogging around the borders of the property. Often, Sirius would join in as Padfoot, happily traipsing along beside them.

Finally, the day of the full moon arrived. Hermione was nervous the entire day, and she could tell that Remus was feeling just the same.

At last, evening approached. Snape had been at Remus' cottage that afternoon checking on the wards. He'd come back before dinner to report that everything was in order and that he'd stopped by Hogwarts and received the final all clear from Professor Dumbledore. Snape was going to escort them to Remus' cottage.

"Just like old times," Hermione said cheerfully once they were all three standing in the front hall of the Estate. Snape raised an indignant eyebrow at her.

Remus just smiled, "do you have everything?"

Hermione nodded, motioning to the small beaded bag at her side, "we'll take the final dose of the potion when we get out there, and then wait."

He nodded. Just then, Sirius exited the kitchen, "are we ready?"

"Waiting for you, Black," Snape said, his tone only slightly malicious.

Luckily, Sirius ignored the Potions Master. He clapped his hands together, appraising both Hermione and Remus, "shall we get on with it then?"

"Wait!" Harry's voice echoed down the staircase. He descended the stairs quickly, with Ginny and Ron behind him. "Good luck," he murmured, hugging Hermione tightly.

She hugged Harry back, then hugged Ginny, and finally Ron. "We'll be fine," she told them, "see you in the morning."

And with that, Snape opened the door and together they left the Estate. It felt so surreal leaving the wards. Dumbledore had put together a Portkey for them just beyond the border of the outer wards. Hermione felt a strange confined feeling lift away after she stepped out of the bubble-like barrier. It was sort of amazing.

The Portkey was an old piece of china. Hermione, Remus, Sirius, and Professor Snape all held onto its edges, and before they knew it, they were pulled away.

The cottage was just how Hermione remembered it, peeling paint and all. The only difference was that the trees had grown a bit and the wards felt different.

Snape left them there within moments, telling them that the wards were safe up to about fifty paces from the house. They were left standing just outside the front door of the house. They'd decided when working out the details of this plan to stay outside, in direct contact with the moon, as it rose. That was the easiest way to determine if it was a success or failure. When the potion (hopefully) worked, they would have to remain at the cottage for the night, just to ensure that nothing happened. In the morning, Snape would fetch them again.

Hermione quickly withdrew the two vials of potion from her bag, handing one to Remus and keeping the other herself. Sirius stood stock-still a few steps away, obviously anxious.

Ten minutes until moonrise. In her research she'd discovered that the closer to moonrise they took the final dose of the potion, the more potent it was likely to be. They'd had a dose every day for the past week, just like with the regular Wolfsbane, but this was the dose that could make a world of difference. This was the dose Remus had missed that night when Lucius Malfoy had dragged them out into the Forbidden Forest.

She uncorked her vial, watching out of the corner of her eye as Remus did the same. After, she lifted it in the air, using the last glimpses of sunlight to inspect the potion. It looked like everything was in perfect order. "Now or never," she breathed, meeting his gaze.

He nodded at her, his lips pulled tightly and his hand clenched around the bottle. Together, they tipped them back, drinking the potion that tasted just as awful as the normal Wolfsbane, with just a hint of peppermint.

Hermione felt no initial difference after the potion, but then again, she wasn't supposed to. All that mattered was when the moon rose. That would be the moment of truth.

The seconds crept by at an excruciating pace. Sirius transformed into Padfoot during the last minute. Hermione and Remus stood out on the grass in front of the cottage, watching the sky and holding hands. Beside them stood the large black dog. Together, they looked like the bravest of warriors ready to face any battle. How strange that their battle was something as indomitable, yet innocent as the moon.

In the seconds before the moon rose, Hermione could sense it just below the horizon of trees. She could usually sense when the moon was close, and she really hoped that wasn't a sign that the potion had failed. Something told her that Remus was worrying over the same thing. She squeezed his hand. A second later, he squeezed hers back.

As her sense of the moon grew stronger, Hermione found herself somehow able to count the seconds until it broke above the horizon.

_Ten… nine… eight…_

She tried to keep herself from trembling, but she still did.

_Seven… six… five…_

To her left, Padfoot took a few steps backwards, as if anticipating a transformation just as violent and fearful as all the others.

_Four… three… two…_

Hermione took a deep breath and held it in. Remus squeezed her hand once more and they shared a look. He was terrified.

_One._

Hermione held Remus' gaze. She continued holding his gaze for at least ten more seconds until she allowed herself to look away. Straight ahead of them, above the canopy of dense forest, was the luminous moon, as round and as large as any full moon should be. It's light was reflecting down directly onto them, and still nothing.

_Nothing._

Hermione finally let out the breath she'd been holding with a colossal sigh of relief. Somewhere behind her, Sirius barked loudly in what she assumed was happiness. Remus turned in her direction and took a step towards her, his arms coming to wrap around her. Before she knew it, he was picking her up off the ground in a tight embrace, laughing like a carefree child. Hermione couldn't help but join in on the laughter, winding her arms around his neck and kissing him.

"I love you," Remus said when she pulled away from the kiss.

A smile broke across Hermione's face. She'd been waiting to hear that, or trying to build up the courage to say it herself. "I love you too," she whispered, "of course."

He laughed again, now spinning her around and looking up at the sky, with the stars and the moon. Hermione still clung to him, gazing upwards and finding that nothing about the moon frightened her like it once did. She felt invincible.

A loud booming noise broke them apart. Hermione's view of the stars and the night sky was now obstructed by strange black objects flying through the air, and the glowing barrier of the ward around the cottage seemed to be crippling away…

"_Fuck_," Remus cursed, looking at the ground next to him. Hermione followed his gaze and saw his left foot, half-covered by a rippling ward. He'd stepped outside the wards while spinning her around. Just a second after she noticed this, Padfoot barked loudly, and she felt a dog's teeth grip the sleeve of her jumper, dragging her away from the border of the ward.

It was too late. Hermione looked up at the sky once more and recognized the black objects as people. _Death Eaters_. Dread filled her as quickly as the overwhelming happiness had just a moment before.

How was it possible for everything to go so wrong in just a matter of seconds?

Her attention was pulled from the sky when Sirius started snarling loudly. He was facing the edge of the forest, and there among the trees were a few shadows flanking a giant beast.

Not just any beast; Hermione could recognize the wolf form of Fenrir Greyback just by the scent that suddenly invaded her nose.

Remus took a step in front of Hermione, grabbing her by the arm and putting her behind his body. He was trembling, and she could see the hairs on the back of his neck standing on edge. "We have to Disapparate," Hermione whispered, eyeing Greyback's bright yellow eyes over Remus' shoulder.

"The anti-Apparation wards are still active," he replied, retrieving his wand from his pocket, "we need to get outside them."

In a split second, he was pulling her with him to the left, sprinting in the opposite direction of Greyback and trying to get past the fizzling border of the wards. The Death Eaters had almost completely dismantled them now. Still spells were flying at the barriers from all sides, some passing through, only slightly weakened by the wards.

Greyback leapt forward in a vicious charge just as Remus and Hermione sprung into action. Hermione heard Sirius let out a growl and charge forward as well, most likely aiming for Greyback. She cursed his bravery. Didn't he know that he couldn't take on a werewolf like Greyback?

The wolf and dog collided with a large scuffling noise and several growls and barks. It was hardly a second before Hermione looked over her shoulder and saw Sirius thrown into the air. He hit the trunk of a tree with a loud thump and collapsed on the ground.

Hermione and Remus were at the border of the wards now. They could hear Greyback behind them, but without even having time to register anything else, a spell flew down on them from above. It caused a great explosion. Hermione was thrown to the ground in the opposite direction of Remus. She hit her head hard against a rock. Her vision faded away before she could even register the pain.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the cliffhanger… I hope you'll forgive me. Going to try to post the next chapter ASAP.


	36. And neither can the flood drown it

**XXXVI**

And neither can the flood drown it

* * *

Sirius awoke with hazy vision and a horrible ache in his back. It took a matter of seconds for him to remember where he was and what had just happened. His head snapped up from the grassy spot it had been resting on, eyes opening quickly.

The forest and the clearing around the cottage were completely empty. Sirius cursed to the gods, getting up from the ground and ignoring the screaming pains in nearly ever part of his body. The blackout had caused him to shift back into human form. He quickly checked himself over for a werewolf bite but found nothing.

Forgetting his other injuries, Sirius sprinted towards the cottage, swinging the door open and finding the interior empty. Outside there was nothing. The wards were gone and all that remained of the encounter with the Death Eaters was a bit of spell damage. He looked up at the sky, noting that the moon was reaching a peak. He'd been unconscious for a long time. He needed to get back to the Estate fast and get the others to help him find Hermione and Remus before something truly awful happened.

The only problem was that he couldn't go straight to the Estate without a Portkey. He'd have to go to Hogwarts and find Dumbledore. Sirius pulled out his wand and Disapparated to Hogsmeade with a loud crack.

* * *

Hermione drifted into consciousness slowly. First, she recognized that some sort of magic bound her limbs tightly to her sides. Next, she realized that she was being levitated, slowly moving forward at a steady pace. Lastly, her sense of smell came back to her, and she recognized two distinct scents among several other unfamiliar ones. The scents she recognized were those of Remus and Fenrir Greyback.

Hermione opened her eyes, unable to move while under whatever magical bind this was, but still able to see. Above her were slowly passing treetops and a starry sky. They were still in the woods somewhere, and the trees looked similar to those at Remus' cottage.

"There it is," a gruff, unfamiliar male voice called out, "just through here."

Hermione didn't know what the man was talking about, but a moment later she heard it: there were many other voices drifting towards them. She could pick up on some of their scents as well, but none were recognizable.

Wait… no… there was one scent she recognized. It took her all of three seconds to place it as belonging to Lucius Malfoy.

This night was just getting worse and worse.

Hermione tried her hardest to tilt her head in any direction. She knew that Remus was somewhere to her right, but she just couldn't get her body to move. She didn't dare risk speaking and alerting anyone that she was conscious. Instead, she held onto the stability that Remus' scent provided her and tried to think of a way to get out of this alive.

Everything at the cottage had happened so fast. She could hardly remember some of it now. All she knew was that one moment Remus was spinning her around and telling her that he loved her, and the next Greyback was charging at them and Death Eaters were tearing down the wards.

_The wards_. Professor Snape had created them. She knew they'd been extremely strong wards, and was still quite confused at how their location was discovered. Of course, Remus had stepped outside the wards for just a second, but that should have only alerted people already in the area to her presence. Had Greyback been tracking them somehow?

Perhaps Professor Snape had been alerted to the collapse of the wards. With many powerful barriers like that, the creator's magical core was closely connected to the spell work. Hermione remembered reading about ward creators knowing when their spells had been dismantled or destroyed. She could only hope that Snape was aware and was going to alert the Order.

"Finally," a voice called out from ahead, "the Dark Lord is waiting."

It took Hermione a second to realize that this voice belonged to Lucius Malfoy, and that he was now approaching them. A shiver ran down her spine at the mention of Voldemort. The voices behind Malfoy were louder now, the scents stronger. Hermione tried to pick out a scent she could affiliate with Voldemort, but nothing came to her. That caused another shiver to run down her spine. She didn't know how they were going to get out of this alive, and she really didn't want to know what Voldemort had in store for Remus and herself.

In seconds, Hermione felt herself being surrounded by a new wave of people. Up above, she no longer saw any treetops. They were in some sort of clearing.

"Ah, our guests have finally arrived," a sinister voice said. Hermione knew instantly that it was Voldemort. She felt a cool sweat break out on her forehead.

"Put them down, Yaxley, and release the body bind," the same disembodied voice spoke, "it appears they've both awoken just in time to make my acquaintance."

Hermione fell from her position suspended in the air, her limbs coming free of the bind and barely breaking her fall on the cold, hard ground. Her head snapped forward and she found Voldemort first among the crowd. He looked just as Harry always described him: beady red eyes, deathly pale skin, and a menacing smile on his face. He stood at the other end of the large clearing they were in, masked Death Eaters surrounding him left and right.

Her gaze turned to Remus next; he was a few feet away from her on the ground. She could see his chest rise and fall rapidly as he tried to find his wand in his pockets. Hermione tried to inconspicuously check for her wand as well, but she knew they had taken it from her. Remus met her gaze after a moment, his expression tight, worry lines creasing his forehead.

"I have to admit," Voldemort spoke again, stepping towards Hermione and Remus at a leisurely pace, "I'm quite intrigued by the fact that you are both werewolves, yet neither of you has transformed during this _lovely_ full moon."

Just as he said these words, a low growl emitted from somewhere behind Hermione. She whipped her head around and saw a giant grey wolf stalking towards her. Greyback must have taken Wolfsbane, because there was certainly no way he would be here right now and not be attacking every human in the vicinity without it. He stalked closer to Hermione, teeth bared. She felt Remus quickly attempt to shift closer to her, as if trying to cut off Greyback's access to her. However, before he could reach her, some sort of shocking spell hit him.

Remus recoiled, letting out a harsh yell and gripping his arm, where he'd been hit. Hermione looked for where the spell had come from and saw a masked Death Eater with long platinum hair flowing out of the hood of his robe. She scowled at Malfoy, and wanted nothing more than to transform into a wolf right now and tear his throat out.

"Enough," Voldemort barked. Greyback and Malfoy immediately took a step back, training their eyes on their Dark Lord. "I want to hear an explanation from the Mudblood," he continued, red eyes falling on Hermione.

She didn't speak, just mustering all of her bravery and meeting Voldemort's gaze. When she felt him start to push at her mental barriers in what she figured was Legilimency, she looked away from his eyes. There was no way she was going to willingly give up information to this monster, even if it was probably harmless at this point.

"I don't have all night," Voldemort intoned, "Lucius?"

On command, Malfoy raised his wand, pointing it at Hermione. She was certain there was a gleeful smirk underneath that mask. Before he could do anything, Remus pushed himself off the ground again and knelt in front of Hermione, cutting off Lucius' view of her. "It was a potion," he said quickly, mouth setting in a grim line.

Hermione frowned at Remus, but he didn't turn around to look at her. Voldemort waved Lucius off, and the man lowered his wand disappointedly. Despite being angry that Remus had done that to protect her, she was glad Malfoy didn't get any satisfaction out of injuring her.

"What potion?" Voldemort inquired.

This time, Hermione reached forward and gripped Remus' arm tightly. She didn't want them to know everything. If they did, she had no idea what they'd do with the knowledge.

"It's not important," Hermione said after a moment of Remus' silence, "what are we doing here? We can't tell you where Harry is if that's what you want. We don't even know." It wasn't a complete lie; she couldn't say the location of the Estate even if she wanted to because of the Fidelius charm.

Still, Voldemort stepped closer, and she could tell he wanted to use Legilimency on her. Hermione turned her head away, and so did Remus. However, soon she felt some sort of spell controlling the muscles in her neck, forcing her to turn her head to face him. She tried to shut her eyes but couldn't. Voldemort's gaze bore into hers, and she felt him enter her mind.

It was like nothing she'd ever experienced before, and it made her feel sick to her stomach. Hermione remembered reading up on Occulmency, and tried her best to shield her mind from him, but it was no use. Putting up strong defenses against someone as powerful as Voldemort took years of practice. She was helpless.

He rifled around in her mind with brutal carelessness. She watched as memories replayed over in her head, of her time at Hogwarts and of her childhood growing up. With each memory that Voldemort drew forward he would throw it aside a moment later. She felt like her head was being cluttered, and the beginnings of a horrible headache formed.

Finally, Voldemort came to a string of memories that he was looking for. He flew through Hermione's memory of her graduation, and then the next morning when Dumbledore had informed them that they would be leaving, to Snape's Estate. A strange rage overtook Hermione at the sight of her mind's vision of Snape. It took her a second to realize that it wasn't _her_ rage, but Voldemort's. He was only now finding out about Snape's betrayal.

The memories continued; first they arrived by Portkey to the Estate, then they settled in for the night. In a truly sickening moment, Voldemort watched the entire conversation Hermione had with Remus in the greenhouse on their second evening at the Estate. It was highly disturbing to think that Voldemort was taking any sort of interest in her romantic relationship with Remus.

Next he came to her memories about developing and testing the potion. He viewed nearly all of them, and by the end Hermione was certain he knew everything there was to know about the improved Wolfsbane.

After another moment or two of him tossing aside memory after memory, he withdrew from her mind.

Hermione was thrown backwards on the ground with the force of his departure. Her head ached terribly, and she felt like she might throw up. Remus was immediately at her side, asking if she was okay, but he was hit again with another shocking spell. This time, he stayed away.

Hermione sat up slowly, trying to calm her racing heartbeat and the throbbing in her head. The worst of the pain was fading away, but she felt horribly violated. Plus, she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd just betrayed the secrets of every single one of her friends. Especially Snape; she'd just given away his true allegiance to Dumbledore.

"Where are they, my lord?" a high-pitched voice called out from behind Voldemort. Hermione watched the woman approach and peer at Voldemort with a mad reverence. It must have been Bellatrix Lestrange.

Voldemort watched Hermione with a grimace on his ugly face. "It appears that Severus has been betraying me for a long time, hiding Potter and his friends away in some family property."

"But we checked Spinner's End weeks ago," Bellatrix muttered.

"Another property. Some Estate. Dumbledore is the Secret Keeper. Plus it appears that the Blood Wards are active there." Voldemort's eyes focused on Hermione with a renewed keenness, "We'll have to lure Potter out."

"Sir?" A voice from behind Hermione spoke up. She didn't dare look back, not wanting to see Greyback glowering behind her.

"Yes, Yaxley?" Voldemort intoned with an air of boredom.

"There was another one with them," Yaxley said, voice shaking nervously, "a-at the house. An Animagus. I think it was Black."

For the first time since waking up, Hermione remembered Sirius. Was he okay? He'd hit the tree pretty badly and not gotten up off the ground. Beside her, Remus shared the same worried expression.

"Well what did you do with him?" Voldemort snapped, glowering at the man now.

"We… uh… we left him there. He was pretty beaten up. Unconscious when we left."

Voldemort clenched his yellow teeth together. "And you didn't think to tell me this earlier?" he asked, his voice filled with barely-contained rage.

"Uh… no, my lord. I'm sorry."

Voldemort looked like he was about to murder Yaxley, but then within a second all his anger fizzled away. "That actually works quite nicely," he said, withdrawing his wand and turning it over in his hand, "Potter will probably already know what has happened to his precious werewolves. I'll just send him one more message to assist him in finding us here…"

The look on his face had Hermione extremely worried. So he was going to use them to lure Harry in, but surely someone would stop Harry from coming here… right? The Order would find out and together they would devise a plan that _didn't_ involve putting Harry in danger. In the grand scheme of things, Hermione and Remus didn't matter as much as Harry.

"Lucius?" Voldemort beckoned the Death Eater to him. "Where is that blade?"

Hermione felt her palms grow clammy. She knew where this was going and she really didn't like it.

"Here, my lord." Malfoy obediently drew something from his robes. When Voldemort retrieved it and held it up in the moonlight it glimmered. Hermione could tell just by the sadistic grin on Voldemort's face that it was pure silver.

Voldemort faced Hermione and Remus again. "Despite this potion the two of you seem to have come up with, you are still Werewolves, and we all know that any werewolf has a special weakness to silver…"

* * *

Sirius had arrived at the Estate with Dumbledore only moments ago and already the majority of the house had descended into a state of utter panic.

Harry was the worst out of anyone. "We have to find them, we're wasting time!" he yelled, not sure who in particular he was speaking to at the moment. Everyone had collected together in the entry hall to see what was going on.

"I know, Harry," Sirius said, putting a hand on either side of Harry's shoulders, "and we're going to find them, but first we need to figure out a safe plan of action."

Harry wanted to scream. Why was Sirius choosing _this moment_ to be so rational? He wanted to get to Remus' house as fast as he could and track them down from there. Of course, realistically, they were probably hundreds of miles from that location, wherever Voldemort's lair was.

"Well put, Sirius," Dumbledore said, standing at the front of the group, "Severus, can you describe again what you know about the wards at Remus' home?"

Snape stood near the back of the crowd, and intense expression on his face. "I know hardly anything. The wards were breached from the inside and then attacked for several minutes in order to completely dismantle them."

"So one of them stepped outside the wards?" Mr. Weasley asked.

"Yeah," Sirius breathed, running a hand through his hair, "like I said before, Remus accidentally put his foot outside the wards for a second. Then they started attacking."

For some reason, Harry felt a surge of anger at Remus.

Dumbledore nodded. "Severus, are you certain you don't know where they are?"

Snape shook his head. "He hasn't spoken in a long time. I've been excluded from a few meetings and last I heard they vacated Malfoy Manor. Unless Voldemort activates my Dark Mark, I can't locate them."

There was a moment of silence before Dumbledore spoke again, "we can send a team out to Remus' house to investigate. Other than that, I don't believe there is anything else that can be done at this…"

Harry could no longer hear the words coming out of Dumbledore's mouth. His hearing faded into a vague buzz of words. A second later, his vision started to black out and he felt himself falling backwards. Harry knew what was happening before he hit the ground. These visions hadn't happened since fifth year, but he still remembered them perfectly.

The first thing he saw through Voldemort's vision was a shining knife, held up in the air by what felt like Harry's own hand. In the background of the knife were several figures surrounded by trees. He picked out Hermione and Remus among them instantly, and the form of a huge grey wolf behind Hermione. They were kneeling on the ground, and both wore fearful expressions.

"_Potter_," Voldemort hissed, the word reverberating in Harry's mind, "_I have your werewolves, as I sure you know by now._"

With these words, Harry stepped forward, watching as the pale white hand of Voldemort stretched out in front of him, still wielding the knife. He walked towards Hermione and Remus, not caring about any of the cloaked Death Eaters behind them or even the glowering wolf. Remus watched Voldemort with a scowl set into his face, his wide eyes betraying his confusion and fear. Beside him, Hermione looked grimly determined. She knew exactly what Voldemort was doing. After all, she'd experienced most of Harry's visions back in fifth year. She shook her head slowly, looking directly into Harry's – or Voldemort's – eyes. She was trying to tell him not to give into whatever was about to happen.

"_You have ten minutes to come here before I kill them,_" Voldemort's voice echoed. As he said these words, Harry watched the same pale hand bring the blade up to Hermione's face. She tried to move away, but Voldemort's other hand flicked his wand and she could no longer move. The blade rested against her cheek and she cried out in pain. Harry realized that it was silver. He'd recalled Hermione once telling him that silver caused extreme amounts of pain to werewolves, like acid burning the skin. Wounds with silver weapons were dramatically worse than any other.

The worst part of all of this was that, to Harry, he was the one pressing the blade to Hermione's face, making her cry out in pain.

The blade cut into her skin, drawing drops of bright red blood. Hermione screamed again, louder. Remus was shouting something in the periphery of Harry's vision, but it appeared that he couldn't move either. Harry just wanted to get the hell out of Voldemort's mind and come here as soon as possible.

"_Severus will bring you here," _Voldemort was speaking again_, "The two of you will come alone. I will know if you bring any others and I will kill her instantly if you do."_

In a split second, the vision cut out. Harry's view faded from the forest. When he opened his eyes again he was staring up at the ceiling. Ginny and Ron were leaning over him, trying to rouse him awake.

Harry sat up stiffly, looking around the room, noting that all eyes were on him. Dumbledore pushed forward and knelt at his side, "what was it, Harry?"

Harry took a shuddering breath, "They were in a forest somewhere. He's going to kill them if I don't come. I have to go." His words came out jumbled and rushed. Dumbledore appeared to understand them anyway. The old wizard opened his mouth as if to say something, but was cut off.

Snape let out a harsh breath, standing to Harry's left and clutching his arm. "He's calling me," he said through clenched teeth.

"He told me to go with Snape," Harry sputtered, "alone. He'll kill Hermione if anyone else comes."

Sirius stepped into Harry's view, shaking his head. "Absolutely not. We'll send everyone and attack immediately."

"Yeah," Ron intoned, standing up beside Sirius, "All of us at once can handle them. We'll get Hermione and Remus to safety and then fight."

Harry knew that Sirius and Ron's idea of charging in like that wasn't going to work, but he saw the appeal behind it. He was itching for a fight like this. It was time to end the war. Voldemort was practically inviting them in.

Snape scowled, "you think he'd allow me to Apparate more than one person? It's an idiotic idea that he's certainly considered. I'll be able to take Potter alone. No one else."

"I'll go," Harry said, finally feeling steady enough to stand from the ground.

"No you won't!" Mrs. Weasley cut in.

The whole room broke into yelling and arguments. Everyone was trying to say what they thought should be done, none listening to any others.

"He said I have ten minutes before he kills them," Harry shouted, his words causing the room to quiet down once more.

Dumbledore had been silent and pensive, listening to the suggestions around him but not saying anything else. At last, he spoke. "We'll use a Portkey. Professor McGonagall and myself have been working on developing undetectable Portkeys that work through wards. Severus and Harry will be there alone just long enough to get Hermione and Remus to safety, then Severus will activate the Portkey."

"We can't just send Harry in there alone," Sirius interjected.

"He won't be alone, Black," Snape sneered.

"I think it sounds perfect," said Harry.

Dumbledore's eyes fell on Harry for a long moment before he nodded. "I'll prepare the Portkey. We need everyone available to go." Dumbledore scanned the room, "Draco, Narcissa, we could use your assistance."

Harry looked over to Draco and his mother. Draco nodded and took his mother's hand. "We'll do whatever we can."

Around the room, everyone nodded in agreement. Harry noticed that Ginny looked more determined than almost anyone else. He wanted to beg her to stay here, but he knew it was no use asking someone like Ginny to stay out of a fight. Everyone would go in together- it was all or nothing.

* * *

**Author's Note:** The entire final battle was initially one chapter, but it got to about 7,500 words and I decided to split it in half. Luckily, though, I have the rest of the story (aside from the epilogue) finished, so you should get your conclusion soon!


	37. Ending Sequence

**XXXVII**

Ending Sequence

* * *

"Stop!" Remus pleaded, "Please stop!" He was on his knees, hands bound to his sides, screaming at Voldemort.

As if the Dark Lord had finally decided to take pity on them both, he pulled the silver blade back. Hermione regained control of her movements and recoiled from him, bringing a hand to her face as if she didn't believe that there was only a bit of a scratch on her cheek.

Remus knew how it felt. He'd been at the mercy of a silver blade once before, and it had not been pleasant.

Hermione turned to face Remus, shock and worry written all over her face. He knew what she was thinking: Voldemort had just called Harry and now Harry would most certainly take any chance he could find to come here and save them. Remus hoped Dumbledore was there and could help them figure out a plan of some sort.

Voldemort turned away from Hermione and Remus, stalking towards Bellatrix and whispering something to her. Next, he beckoned for Lucius. The man approached Voldemort, "Yes, my lord?"

"You and Dolohov with disarm Severus when he arrives," he explained, "do not underestimate him. Do you remember what happened last time you underestimated Severus?"

Lucius nodded like a scared dog. Remus almost pitied the man in that instant.

"Good," Voldemort said, his tone sickeningly cheerful. He turned to address the remaining Death Eaters surrounding him, "the rest of you know what to do. Don't stray form the orders I've given you." Silence fell over the clearing. It was obvious how afraid they all were.

Remus assessed the situation, trying to think of the best way possible to get Hermione to safety if he got a chance. There were eight Death Eaters that Remus could count in front of him. In addition, he knew that Yaxley, Greyback, and one other were behind him. The problem was that in every possible escape opportunity Greyback could get to them within a second. He'd have to figure out a way to get rid of Greyback.

A crack of Apparation drew Remus from his thoughts. He whipped his head around to search for the source of the noise. After a few seconds, two figures appeared among the trees. Harry's form was distinctly recognizable next to Severus, even in this darkness.

"Harry, no!" Hermione shouted.

Harry emerged from partial darkness into the moonlight. Severus stood beside him. Both had their wands drawn at their side. Both were prepared for battle. Remus certainly hoped they had a plan.

"Ah, so glad you could make it, Potter," Voldemort hissed, stepping forward in the clearing. Death Eaters flanked him left and right.

"Let them go," Harry growled, "We're not negotiating anything else until they're gone."

A smile cracked across Voldemort's disfigured face, "my, you're quite demanding."

Harry didn't say anything. Beside him, Snape took another step forward. "Enough," he implored, "Potter and I will both surrender ourselves willingly once you release them." Remus watched Severus' eyes flicker down to Hermione and himself for just a second.

"Ah, Severus," Voldemort's smile widened, "you know you really had me fooled for a while." He began to pace back and forth, twirling his wand in his fingers. "I truly thought you were an ally of mine. But the whole time you were _betraying_ me. And for what? An old fool like Dumbledore? I honestly thought you had better judgment."

"I'm not here to discuss my choices," Snape spat.

"Very well," Voldemort sighed, "I'll play nicely. Greyback, over here. Now."

The large wolf that had been standing just an arm's reach away from Hermione and Remus reluctantly stepped past, eyes sweeping over both of them on his way. Remus knew this was their only chance, despite the fact that Yaxley still stood beside them and they were under some sort of Body Bind. He snapped his gaze back to Severus and tried to convey that whatever they were planning, now was the time.

Severus gave Remus a miniscule nod, his hand turning something over in his pocket. It only took a second for Remus to sense the arrival of several more people in the surrounding woods. Hermione and Greyback appeared to sense it as well. Greyback let out a loud howl, turning to face Severus and Harry again, preparing to pounce.

Before anything else could happen, Severus stepped forward, his wand hand rising into the air and blasting Yaxley backwards. The body bind was immediately released. Remus jumped from the ground just as Hermione did the same. They bolted towards each other, clasping hands and backing away as quickly as possible from the Death Eaters.

Voldemort threw a wild, furious spell in their direction. Harry stepped forward and raised his wand in the air, deflecting the spell with a flair that Remus was certain he'd learned from Sirius.

As soon as the spell was deflected, Greyback was barreling towards Hermione and Remus. Remus felt his anger flare up, and for some strange reason he wished that he could be a wolf right now, just for the satisfaction of tackling Greyback to the ground and tearing him apart.

But he was human, and a wandless human at that. Acting on instinct, Remus stepped in front of Hermione and braced himself. Greyback was getting closer, reading to pounce, but suddenly the wolf hit some sort of invisible barrier, and was thrown onto the ground. Remus glanced over his shoulder and saw Severus there, wand raised. Behind him, Remus spotted tons of familiar faces emerging from the trees. There was Tonks, Kingsley, several different Weasleys, and even Draco and Narcissa. He almost smiled out of pure relief when he noted that Sirius was among them as well.

"Take the wands," Severus ordered, extending a hand to Hermione and Remus, holding two unfamiliar wands. Remus and Hermione took them eagerly. They weren't their true wands, but at least it was something.

After they took the wands, Severus immediately turned to Greyback, who was struggling to pick his giant wolf form up from the ground. With a strangely ambivalent tone, Severus murmured a concentrated, "_Avada Kedavra_."

Green light hit the wolf with a flash. Remus felt Hermione gasp beside him. Greyback crumbled to the ground. Remus felt a breath of air leave his lungs that he could only describe as pure relief and satisfaction. Fenrir Greyback was dead.

A loud blast drew Remus' attention away from the dead wolf and back towards Harry, who was now engaged in a full-on rally of spells with Voldemort. Harry appeared to be losing steam, and he was taking frantic steps backwards with each spell that he tried to deflect.

At that moment, another figure stepped out of the woods, practically glowing in the moonlight. It was Dumbledore, looking the part of one of the most powerful wizards ever. He appeared to be glowing with magic, casting a shield around Harry and causing at least five of Voldemort's curses to fizzle away instantly.

"Remus," Hermione's frantic voice called out, "we have to help the others." She tugged on his arm, and he looked around the clearing once more. Duels were taking place everywhere between Death Eaters and Order members.

"Go help Ginny and Ron," Remus said to Hermione, nodding off in the direction of the two redheads, who were losing a battle against a recovered Yaxley.

Hermione nodded and rushed off to assist her distressed friends. Remus, trusting that she could finish Yaxley off with Ginny and Ron, approached another target.

Tonks and Sirius were engaged in a duel with two Death Eaters, one of which had the long, curly black hair of Bellatrix Lestrange. Bellatrix was a particularly vicious fighter, and whoever fought beside her was obviously skilled as well. Sirius looked injured, and struggled with each spell. Although Tonks was talented, she couldn't carry her own weight and some of Sirius'.

Remus intervened, joining in on the battle and instantly targeting Bellatrix.

She let out a mad, cackling laugh, "aw, the werewolf's come out to play!"

He said nothing, sending as many spells as he could at Bellatrix in quick succession. The unfamiliar wand that Severus had given him was obedient to his magic, but it felt foreign in his hands, and he couldn't put the same power into it as he did with his true wand. Thus, his spells were frustratingly weak.

"I have to say, I'm a bit disappointed," Bellatrix called out, "Sirius and little Nymphadora here are hardly living up to the family standards, and the werewolf is just _pitiful_."

The Death Eater beside her laughed, but before he could even finish his breath, Tonks' curse hit him straight on. He fell to the ground.

Bellatrix almost gasped. "So Andromeda's spawn _can_ fight," her tone was gleeful and intrigued. Remus was struck by how positively insane Bellatrix was.

"Oh fuck off, Bella," Sirius shouted, his next spell hitting her shield hard, causing her to stagger backwards.

Remus immediately took advantage of the weakness, sending three curses at Bellatrix in quick succession. The last one knocked her off her feet. Tonks stepped in and stunned her before placing her in a full Body Bind.

The three of them didn't have much time to rejoice over the victory. Back in the center of the clearing, the battle between Voldemort, Dumbledore, and Harry was ramping up. Bright, crashing spells were flying everywhere, colliding with cracking and fizzling noises. Remus didn't think he'd ever seen Dumbledore move as quickly as he was now. Nor had he ever seen Harry look more determined.

"Shit," Sirius murmured, breaking off into a run in the other direction. Remus glanced toward where Sirius was running and his heart nearly stopped. Hermione was losing a battle against a tall, robed Death Eater with blonde hair peeking out of his hood. On either side of her, Ron and Ginny were lying on the ground, hopefully only unconscious.

Remus broke out into a sprint just behind Sirius. Before they could reach Hermione, however, her wand was suddenly flying out of her hand. Lucius caught it in the air, shooting one more spell at her and causing her to crash into the trunk of a tree behind her. Before she even hit the ground he was pacing towards her, picking her up by the collar of her jumper and holding his wand to her neck. He dragged her around to face Sirius and Remus with a sinister scowl on his face. Remus' heart seemed to skip a beat when he recognized the similarities here to that dreadful night in the Forbidden Forest.

Hermione, having regained her wits, was struggling against Lucius' grasp. She somehow managed to bring her elbow into his gut and bite into his arm at the same time. He fired a spell from his wand, but it narrowly missed her head.

Remus and Sirius were still charging forward.

"REMUS, SIRIUS," Tonks' voice called out from behind them. Neither had any time to react before an array of spells was flying at them from the right. Remus turned his head just in time to see another Death Eater send a curse at Sirius, knocking him off his feet. Remus readied his wand, eyes darting from Hermione and Lucius to this other Death Eater.

* * *

Hermione was struggling against Lucius, flailing her arms while he repeatedly tried to fire spells at her. After a few seconds, she managed to wrench his wand from his hand. It fell to the ground a few feet away. Hermione didn't have any time to scramble for it, however, because Lucius had a firm grip on her upper arm and hurled her to the ground with an excess of force.

She grunted at the impact, and tried to get up from the ground instantly, but found that Lucius had her pinned down, kneeling over her torso. She turned her head just a little to the side, looking for Sirius and Remus. They'd been running this way just a second ago…

She spotted Sirius' form on the ground, and Remus frantically dueling with a Death Eater. He kept glancing in her direction between deflecting spells and sidestepping towards her.

Hermione knew that as long as she kept Lucius' wand out of his hands, she could handle whatever physical violence he unleashed on her. He may be strong, but he was still a wizard, and he relied on his wand to properly injure or kill someone.

A moment later, Hermione realized that she had made a vast miscalculation.

Lucius still had her pinned to the ground. With his free hand, he reached into the pocket of his robes and withdrew a shimmering silver blade.

Hermione's stomach dropped. Using his hands alone to hurt her was one thing, but a silver blade… he could kill her in a matter of seconds. She recalled the horrible pain when Voldemort had simply cut her cheek several minutes earlier.

She screamed when the blade was suddenly pressed against her neck. Merlin, it felt like a boiling hot ember, burning through her skin and crushing her windpipe.

"You've been a nuisance to me for far too long, _Mudblood_," Lucius snarled. His expression was one of pure hatred. Hermione felt the burning silver blade move down from her neck, pressing against her clavicle, and then towards the left side of her chest. She felt it rest, tip poised just above her rapidly beating heart.

"So," Lucius concluded, a malicious smirk on his face, "I'm going to end this quickly, like I should have done months ago."

He raised the blade from her chest, poising it above his head, preparing to bring his hand down. Hermione tried madly to move out from under him, but he was using all his weight to pin her down. Her head jolted to the side, and she searched for Remus, for anyone that could help her. Remus had broken away from the Death Eater he'd been dueling, and was now sprinting towards her, aiming his wand at Lucius.

Lucius grunted and he brought his hand down in one violent motion. She felt the blade dig into her chest in a horrible, tremendous burst of boiling pain. She screamed as loud as she could, until the pain was too much and her body went limp, her scream abating into a pitiful whine.

* * *

"_AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

The words left Remus' lips with more conviction than he ever thought possible. Lucius was blasted off of Hermione, several meters away, where he collided with a tree. Remus continued sprinting at Hermione, but he could see the blade embedded in her chest, and he could tell that her body had gone limp.

He didn't even register the loud blast and the scream of agony from far away as Harry delivered the final killing curse to Voldemort, Dumbledore having drawn the Dark Lord's attention away. Remus didn't notice and he didn't care that Voldemort was dead at long last.

He fell to his knees at Hermione's side, tears spilling from his eyes as he grasped her shoulders and tried to gently shake her awake. Her eyes were closed and, as stubborn as always, she would not open them.

"_Ennervate_," he whispered frantically, pointing his wand at her. Nothing happened, though in the back of his mind he knew that it wouldn't work. The spell only worked after a person was magically knocked unconscious. He inspected the silver blade, digging into her chest. He could try to pull it out… but he knew that would only spill more of her blood. He couldn't bear the thought.

Remus shouted for someone to help him, feeling more terrible and wretched than he'd ever felt in his life. Somehow, everything had been his fault. He'd made Hermione a werewolf. He'd stepped out of the wards tonight. He'd let her get separated from him. He'd failed to reach her in time.

He'd ruined her in the end, just like he always expected.

"I love you, Hermione," he whispered, the words coming out choked and strangled, "I'm so… _so_ sorry."

He was still hunched over her body when someone shoved him aside roughly. It was Severus. The Potions Master cast some sort of spell on her chest and then picked Hermione up from the ground with little effort. He hoisted her in his arms, careful not to touch the blade still in her chest. Remus only now looked up and noticed the small crowd gathering around them. It appeared that all the fighting had stopped. There were no Death Eaters to be seen.

"I need to get her to my lab," Severus said briskly, "I have potions that may help."

Remus didn't know what Severus could do to fix this, but he nodded dumbly, feeling like a child again, a lost boy who never knew how to do anything right.

Sirius, who had somehow regained consciousness, hauled Remus up from the ground. He pulled something out of his pocket that looked like a spoon, telling Remus and Severus to place a finger on it. They did, and the Portkey whisked them away. They landed in the usual spot, just outside the wards of the Estate. Severus immediately made towards the house at a run, Hermione in his arms. Remus and Sirius followed.

They ran all the way into the house and upstairs to Severus' lab, where he whisked his wand and sent everything flying off of one of the tables, placing Hermione on top of it.

Severus immediately set to work, ordering Remus and Sirius around, telling them to fetch various potions from his cabinets and bring them to him. Meanwhile, he cast numerous spells over Hermione's wound. Only a few moments into this, several other voices were heard outside in the hallway. Molly Weasley burst into the potions lab, rushing towards Hermione's side.

"Oh Merlin," Molly whispered under her breath, leaning over the girl and looking close to tears.

"I need you to take the blade out, Molly," Severus said, sorting through the bottles of potions Remus and Sirius were bringing him. "Pull it out gently and straight upwards. The blade missed her heart by half a centimeter, so if you do not shift it at all it won't touch her heart."

Molly looked a little frightened at the order, staring down at Hermione's jumper, which was now soaked in blood. After a moment she nodded, swallowing and rolling up her sleeves, "I can do that."

Remus only noticed now that he was gripping Sirius' upper arm in a way that would certainly bruise his friend. He didn't care; this was far too nerve-wracking to do anything else. _I trust Molly,_ he kept repeating to himself.

Molly carefully gripped the blade. When her hand made contact with the metal, however, Hermione's shoulders trembled.

"Black!" Severus snapped, "put her under a Body Bind so she can't move."

Sirius nodded, casting the spell quickly. Hermione went completely still once again.

Molly took that as her cue. Remus watched the woman take a deep breath in, and slowly extract the blade. Hermione was still as death, and the blade came out easily.

After the silver was fully out of her chest, blood started to flow at about ten times the rate of before.

"Put pressure on the wound," Severus said, conjuring a rag and handing it to Molly. She obeyed. Severus then proceeded to open Hermione's mouth and pour what looked like a blood replenishing potion down her throat, followed by two other potions unknown to Remus.

Just as all this was happening, more voices were heard from the hallway.

"What happened?" Harry nearly shouted, bursting into the room with a frantic look on his face. Ginny and Ron trailed behind. Ron had what looked like a broken arm and Ginny was bleeding heavily from her leg. Harry, on the other hand, appeared unharmed.

"Black, get them out of here. Everyone, even Lupin," Severus nearly shouted, still feeding another potion to Hermione.

Sirius hesitated, looking at Remus for a moment before he began to usher Harry, Ron, and Ginny outside. When he came back he grasped Remus by the arm and started pulling him away.

"Absolutely not," Remus protested, "I'm staying with her. I can help. It's calming when I'm near her."

Severus shook his head. "I'm going to cast dark spells on her to reverse the effects of the silver. You need to be out of the room."

Remus was going to protest, but Sirius was suddenly dragging him from the room. He gave up resisting after a few seconds, knowing that he'd already done enough to hurt Hermione. Sirius pushed him out the door and closed it firmly behind him.

There were far too many people standing out in the hallway. Closest to the door to the lab stood Albus and Harry. When Remus was thrown into the hallway Albus looked at him, and he instantly could tell that the Headmaster knew everything. Remus didn't care; he simply shoved his body up against the wall and slid to the floor, resting his head in his hands and hating himself more than ever.

After a pause, he heard Dumbledore's footsteps as he opened the door to the potions lab and entered the room. When the door shut the entire hallway was filled with silence. Remus didn't look up; he didn't care to see everyone staring at him with pitying or hateful expressions. He was a bit confused when he sensed Harry, Ginny, and Ron all sit down beside him against the walls, but he simply pretended like he was alone; he didn't want to speak or look at anyone right now. He just wanted Hermione to be okay.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I hate to leave you all with another cliffhanger, but at least the final battle is over, right?


	38. Return to Grace

**XXXVIII**

Return to Grace

* * *

Hermione felt like she'd been unconscious for days. When she opened her eyes she was greeted with an unfamiliar ceiling, certainly not the canopy of trees that she'd lost consciousness under. Also, there appeared to be daylight casting itself across the ceiling, and it couldn't have been very far past midnight when Malfoy had attacked her with that damned silver blade.

The silver blade.

How was she not dead right now? Malfoy had stabbed her in the chest!

She forced herself to open her eyes wider, trying to lift her head up and choking on a horrible, hacking cough that contained at least a little blood.

Several things happened then. One: she heard and simultaneously felt Remus' presence. "_Thank Merlin_," he breathed, his voice cracking slightly from disuse (or perhaps overuse). She felt him squeeze her left hand and realized that he'd been clutching it this whole time.

The second thing that happened was the scratching of a chair dragging against the floor as someone stood up. After a second, Hermione saw a tall figure loom over her, his limp black hair covering his face. She made out Professor Snape's eyes as he gazed down at her, examining her condition.

The final thing was a dull, but searing pain that she felt in her chest. It was like a hot ember was being pivoted between her ribs, just where her heart was. With her free hand, she subconsciously reached up to rub her chest. Something bony immediately clamped down on her wrist before she could reach the spot. It was Snape's hand, pulling hers away. "Don't touch it," he ordered.

Hermione let her hand fall limply at her side again. She didn't care about the wound as much as she cared about seeing Remus. With a lot of effort, she turned her head in the other direction to look at him. He was sitting in a chair at her side, smiling at her as if she was the most magnificent thing on this earth. His free hand was now resting at the top of her head, tangled in her curly locks of hair.

"Oh, Hermione, thank goodness you're awake!" Mrs. Weasley's voice was the one that surprised her. She jerked her head to look at the woman standing up from a chair and approaching her side. Mrs. Weasley's hand squeezed Hermione's for a moment before she spoke again. "I'm going to go fetch Harry, Ron, and Ginny," she murmured, "they were asking to wait up for you in here but I made them go to sleep and promised I'd fetch them immediately when you woke." As she spoke, her gaze drifted over to Remus. "_This_ one, on the other hand, wouldn't listen to a word I said. He's been sitting at your side for hours."

Hermione couldn't help but smile dumbly, turning to look at Remus when Mrs. Weasley left the room.

"Drink this," Snape said, placing a small cup of water in Hermione's other hand. She realized that she was absolutely parched, and with some struggle, sat up and brought the glass up to her lips. She drank all the water, and was relieved when the strong taste of blood in her mouth dissipated.

After she finished her water, she was still sitting up, and managed a look down at her torso. There was a large gauze cloth covering nearly half of her chest… and for some reason she was only wearing her bloodstained bra, nothing else.

"I'm not wearing a shirt," Hermione muttered absently, falling back onto the table and giving into the fatigue.

"Oh," Remus muttered, and she felt something fall onto her stomach. She opened her eyes and found her favorite jumper lying there.

"We had to remove it to treat the wound," Snape said, eyes darting around the room with discomfort.

Hermione smiled weakly, too tired to laugh. Remus' cool hand pressed against her back as he helped her sit up and pull the jumper over her head. She proceeded to flop back down on the table just as the doors to the room opened on Harry, Ron, and Ginny.

"Hermione!" Harry called, rushing to her bedside and nearly mauling her with a hug.

"We were so worried," Ginny said, hugging her next before pushing Ron forward. Hermione pulled Ron into a tight hug, pretending not to notice that the tips of his ears were red with embarrassment. She was too happy to see them. Too happy to be alive and with her best friends, all of whom were alive and well. Her hand subconsciously reached out to her side and searched for Remus. A second later she felt his cool hand slide into her grasp.

"Is everyone else okay?" She asked, suddenly realizing that there was a lot she didn't know, "what happened after I lost consciousness?"

"Not much, actually," Harry murmured, "Dumbledore and I…we killed Voldemort."

"You did it," Hermione whispered, her voice faraway as she looked into Harry's brilliant green eyes.

He nodded slowly, and his eyes started to well up with tears at what she could only guess was an onslaught of emotion and relief. Ginny entangled her fingers with his; leaning into his shoulder at the same time Hermione pulled him into another hug. This time Harry pressed his face against Hermione's shoulder, and she could tell he was trying his best not to cry.

"I'm so proud of you, Harry," she murmured, allowing him to pull back from the embrace a moment later and put an arm around Ginny. "What else happened?"

"Most of the Death Eaters Disapparated as soon as they noticed what happened," Ron explained. "Dumbledore said it's going to take a while to find all of them, but they can't do much damage without Voldemort."

"What about everyone else?" she asked again, "are the others okay?"

All in sync, Harry, Ron, and Ginny lowered their eyes to the floor. Remus was the one to speak up and answer her question. "Kingsley died," he said simply, meeting her eyes with grim assurance, "Narcissa nearly died at the hands of Bellatrix, but she's hanging on. There were a lot of other injuries, but none as life-threatening as yours."

Looking into Remus' eyes, Hermione caught a glimpse of how terrified he must have been. He _still_ looked terrified and she wasn't quite sure why.

Everyone fell into a moment of silence for Kingsley. Hermione hadn't ever known the man very well, but she still felt mournful over the death of someone who had fought so hard for the same cause as herself.

"Everyone knows about us," Hermione whispered hoarsely to Remus several moments later.

Remus nodded blankly. Ron and Ginny looked confused, but Harry simply nodded as well, adding, "they don't care, Hermione. Everyone loves you and just wanted you to get better. Plus, it's obvious how much Remus loves you. No one could argue with that."

She allowed herself a small smile, looking over to Remus and seeing an almost carefree smile grace his face as well. She wanted so badly to kiss him right now, but she felt weak and she knew he would be embarrassed in front of the others, especially with Snape lurking in the lab somewhere behind them. Plus, she realized that there was still something off about his smile. He looked preoccupied.

Hermione yawned over-exaggeratedly. "What time is it?"

"Half six in the morning," Harry answered.

"I'm exhausted," she said, looking at the three of them, "and you must be as well."

They all shrugged in unison, but she could see the truth in their eyes. "Go back to sleep," she ordered them, adopting the bossy tone that she'd long ago mastered, "I'll be here when you wake up."

Ginny and Ron nodded in compliance, and she watched their accompanying yawns. Harry looked a tad more reluctant, but she reached out and squeezed his hand reassuringly, trying to convey to them that they had so much time now to talk and that she would be fine after getting a few more hours of sleep. It took all of thirty seconds before they left the lab.

Professor Snape obviously understood that Hermione wanted a moment alone with Remus. He stepped out of the room quietly, shutting the door behind him.

"What's wrong?" she asked Remus, turning to him and inspecting him closely.

"I'm fine," he replied, "I'm just so happy you're okay." She could see that his smile was partially faked.

Hermione reached out a hand and smoothed down the crease between his brows. When he actually smiled there was never a crease there. "Tell me. Is it about what happened at the cottage? The wards?"

His smile fell, and she knew she'd hit the nail on the head. She remembered the way he'd spun her around, laughing and kissing her and telling her he loved her. In seconds everything changed as his foot slipped just outside the wards and the Death Eaters descended on them. "But you know that they had already found us," she muttered, "right?"

When he only narrowed his eyes at her she realized that he actually had no idea what had happened at the cottage. "Greyback already knew we were there," she said quickly, sitting up and grasping both of his hands in hers, "it's because he's your Alpha. It's not your fault, Remus, and it's not because you stepped out of the wards."

"Wait," he shook his head, "what do you mean? Him being my Alpha doesn't relate to this."

"Yes it does!" She enthused, "Do you not know about Alphas tracking their pack?" At his befuddled expression she realized that he didn't. She quickly delved into an explanation, "After you told me about Alphas that one day in the shower I started researching them." She noted how Remus winced at the mention of their little fight in the shower so many weeks ago when he'd told her that he was her Alpha. "It turned out that there was a book about it in the library here," She continued, "One of the things it mentioned was that Alpha's can sense the location of their pack on the full moon."

Remus' eyes widened.

Hermione proceeded, lecturing quickly and energetically, "Technically, Greyback is your Alpha, but by extension, he is also mine. He can track me during the full moon just as much as he can track you. He's never been able to find us before because of the Fidelius Charm and the blood wards. They've just been waiting for us to spend a full moon outside of the Estate. He probably remembered where your cottage was from past full moons and knew that we might go there. They were just waiting for us, Remus, and you stepping outside of the wards only confirmed our location to the other Death Eaters. Greyback knew we were there all along!"

He was silent for a few moments, before letting out a soft chuckle under his breath. "You're brilliant, Hermione," he murmured, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against hers. "When did you figure that out?"

"When we were waiting for Harry and Snape to arrive," she explained. "I knew that they wouldn't have been able to find us so quickly after you put your foot outside of the wards. They had to have been waiting there."

He let out a breath, the puff of air brushing across Hermione's face. She tilted her head just slightly so that their lips met.

It felt so enormously wonderful to kiss Remus. She was so happy and relieved. Despite the dull pain in her chest and the tiredness of her joints, she felt so _alive_ right now.

Remus placed a hand on the side of her face, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw as his fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of her neck. She pressed her hands against his chest and shoulders, faintly feeling his beating heart through his shirt. It was divine. She didn't think she could have been happier.

When Hermione's hands started to unconsciously slide under his shirt, wanting to feel his skin against hers, he pulled back from the kiss. "You really do need to rest," he murmured, eyes darting between her lips and her eyes regretfully.

Hermione sighed, feeling the exhaustion weigh down on her body, "I suppose you're right. Can we go to your room? This table is not very comfortable."

He let out a soft chuckle and nodded after a moment. "You're not supposed to be exerting yourself yet, so I'll have to carry you."

She arched a brow at him. "I think I'm perfectly capable of walking downstairs to your bedroom without over-exerting myself."

He shook his head. "Absolutely not. I'm not allowing you to get any more injured because of your pride."

She rolled her eyes, but allowed him to pick her up bridal-style. She was relieved to see that the hallway outside the potions lab was empty, and so was the staircase and entry hall. Hermione leaned her head against Remus' chest, inhaling his scent and feeling the exhaustion threatening to take her right there.

When they got to his room he kicked the door open and closed with his foot, placing her on the bed and watching as she immediately pulled the blankets around herself to get comfortable. He climbed in a moment later, wrapping his arms around her tightly. They could rest easily knowing that all was well.

* * *

Hermione awoke again several hours later. She felt warm and comfortable. When she opened her eyes she was met with Remus' sleeping face, just a few inches from hers. His arms were loosely wrapped around her waist and their legs were tangled together beneath the sheets. She inspected his face, pleased to see that the tired lines around his eyes and on his forehead had dissipated in sleep. He'd looked so exhausted and frightened when she first woke up in Snape's lab. She felt a stab of pain at the thought that he'd certainly blamed himself for everything.

Remus' eyes slowly opened and he smiled groggily at her. "Morning," he muttered, voice hoarse.

"Hardly," she breathed, scooting closer to his body, "we fell asleep in the morning. It must be far into the afternoon now."

He chuckled, smiling at her.

Hermione couldn't help but smile back, "I love you." She said the words bluntly and without thinking. It was immensely liberating to be able to say that him like this, whenever she pleased.

His eyes opened a little bit wider and his smile broadened just a bit. "And I love you."

She leaned in and kissed him. It was a slow, lazy kiss. She only pulled back when she remembered that she hadn't brushed her teeth or bathed in a long time. "I need to take a shower," she muttered regretfully.

He chuckled, "Me too. But Severus said that you shouldn't be up and walking around for more than a few seconds at a time." As he said this, his hand lifted to finger the exposed edge of the bandage under Hermione's shirt. She still hadn't considered the wound much. It hurt a lot when she tried to move it, and she knew that someone had given her pain potions back in the lab because of the fogginess in her mind. Judging by how much more that ache in her chest had grown, the pain potion had worn off while they slept.

"What did Snape do to me?" she asked.

Remus sighed, shifting his jaw, "I think that's a question for you to ask him. He wouldn't tell me much about it, but I know he used some sort of dark spell to keep the silver from stopping your heart."

Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat. She nodded and promised herself that she would have a conversation with Snape, not only to ask him what had happened, but also to thank him.

"I still need to bathe," she said after a moment of silence.

Remus chuckled, "I'm sure it would be fine if you took a bath. As long as the bandage doesn't get ruined."

"Join me?" Hermione asked, a smile curling at her lips.

Remus considered the question for a moment before nodding.

A few moments later, they were exiting Remus' bedroom, making their way towards the bathroom at the end of the hall. Hermione walked slowly, not allowing Remus to carry her this time. Her body felt immensely tired, but she made it down the hall.

Sirius and Tonks' bedrooms were empty, and it didn't seem that anyone else was around to see them. After they slipped inside the bathroom, Remus immediately went to draw a bath. The bathtub was one of those ancient, extravagant tubs. He had to turn on several different taps to get it working.

While Remus drew the bath, Hermione turned to face the mirror. She nearly gasped at her reflection. The first and most noticeable aspect of her appearance was the horrendous state of her hair. It was a wild, bushy mass that framed her head, matted with dirt and horribly untamed. Aside from the hair, she generally looked sickly and tired. Her complexion was pale, which could probably be accounted to the blood loss.

Her gaze caught on the right side of her face, where a shallow cut was carved into her cheek. It was a fine cut- thin, yet red and angry, causing the skin around it to appear enflamed. It was a result of the silver blade. Hermione lifted her hand and traced her finger across the cut. It stung to the touch and she immediately recoiled her hand.

"Does it hurt?" Remus asked. He stood behind her, and seeing his reflection in the mirror was a little consoling. He looked just as exhausted as she did, despite the fact that he'd slept for what felt like several hours. She wondered how long he had sat by her side in the potions lab, waiting for her to awaken.

"Not badly," she sighed, "I look like a mess, though."

He shook his head. "You look lovely, especially after everything that's happened in the past twenty-four hours."

She sighed, leaning her shoulders back into Remus' frame. "You must have been scared," she mumbled.

He let out a huff of laughter and puffed his chest out. "Me? Never. I'm a Gryffindor."

She shifted in place so that she was facing him, still leaning into his frame. It was easy to see through the front he put up, and she was about to tell him as much, but he interrupted her.

"Bath's ready."

Before she could get a word in, he was pulling his shirt over his head and then taking off his socks and undoing his belt. Hermione followed suit, gingerly removing the shirt she wore, careful not to upset the gauzy bandage that covered the upper-left side of her chest. Remus was already immersing himself in the hot water, sighing in pleasure.

"I have to say," he murmured, "it's heavenly not having the soreness or aching joints. I still can't believe that I went through a full moon and didn't transform."

There was something highly emotional in the glint in his eyes. Hermione climbed into the water, sighing at its stinging warmth and slipping down so that the water level was just above her breasts, but just below the bandage that covered her wound. She sat on the opposite side of the tub, facing him.

"I'm glad," she replied simply.

He tipped his head back, a quaint, peaceful smile on his face as he stared up at the ceiling. Hermione thought about the transformations. Neither of them would ever have to experience that pain again. She'd only experienced about six months of transformations, but Remus had somewhere around thirty years worth. She couldn't imagine the change that this meant for his life.

"I was scared."

His voice was so quiet that she hardly even heard it. He still stared up at the ceiling, but his smile had fallen away. It took Hermione a long moment to realize that he was responding to what she'd said minutes before.

"I was terrified," he continued, "and I wished with all my heart that I could have taken your place."

Hermione felt her chest grow tight with emotion. She slowly moved forward in the hot bathwater. "Oh Remus," she whispered, clamoring into his lap and stirring the water around them. She placed her hands on his shoulders, "it's okay now. I'm perfectly fine."

One of his hands came up to press against her spine, tracing up and down. His eyes floated down from the ceiling, looking at her. "I know," he whispered, "and I'm so happy that you're okay."

She felt like she was going to cry. The look in his eyes was wholly overwhelming. Hermione shifted closer to him, dipping her head so that her forehead nestled into the crook of his neck.

"I killed Lucius Malfoy."

Hermione removed her head from his shoulder, looking him in the eyes, certain that she looked just as shocked as she felt.

"Just a second too late," Remus continued, staring at the far wall, not daring to look at Hermione, "I cast the killing curse."

She took a couple breaths, trying to read his closed-off expression, wishing that he would tell her more. When he didn't say anything else, she decided to press a little. "Do you feel different?"

He shook his head, "oddly enough, no. Should I feel different? Should I feel like some sort of murderer?"

Hermione shook her head in response, "he's done so many horrible things, Remus. Someone was bound to kill him eventually. I have a feeling Snape would've if you hadn't." She remembered the methodical and emotionless way that Snape had cast the killing curse on Greyback.

He finally shifted his gaze to meet her eyes. He watched her with so many conflicting emotions. "I'm glad I got to do it," he admitted.

She reached up a hand and ran it through the hair on the side of his head. "I'm glad you did it too," she whispered, as if the admission was too foul to say any louder. She had hated Lucius Malfoy more than nearly anyone in the entire world. He had caused her and her friends so much pain and suffering in the past several months. If he had lived, perhaps his life in Azkaban would have forced that same pain and suffering onto him, but Hermione didn't think she could bear the idea of knowing that Lucius Malfoy still lived on the same planet as her, even if he was rotting in Azkaban.

"Does Draco know?" Hermione asked, suddenly remembering that there were tons of other people in this house that had to deal with the battle and the losses of their own.

Remus nodded, "I haven't spoken to him or Narcissa, but I'm certain. Albus held a bit of a meeting last night after we found out you were stable. He briefed everyone on what had happened. He also informed us that we need to stay here for a few more days, until things calm down in the outside world."

"Why?" As much as Hermione had grown to like the Prince Estate, she wanted to go back to her life and she wanted to be out of this awful confinement.

"There are still many Death Eaters on the loose," he explained, "They're sort of wreaking havoc. Without Voldemort they don't really know what to do so they settle on just attacking everything and everyone. The Aurors are working on it. Albus still doesn't want us leaving until the situation is under control."

Hermione frowned. Were they killing people? Were they targeting Muggleborns or blood traitors? She hoped that nothing disastrous came from the unorganized Death Eater attacks.

Remus had tipped his head back against the edge of the tub. One of his hands rested on her waist while the other was gently holding her hand, fingers brushing over her knuckles. Hermione shifted closer to him, aware that they were in a rather compromising position, and pressed her lips softly against his neck.

He lifted his head up to look at her. He looked at her with such fondness that it made her movements falter for a second. When she did pause, he leaned forward and kissed her lips. His hand on her waist pulled her even closer, until they were intimately pressed together.

He continued to kiss her, slowly and lazily. Hermione kissed back with intensity and desire. She wanted him badly right now. When she shifted her hips ever so slightly and brushed against his growing hardness Remus pulled back.

"Hermione," he rasped, his forehead still pressed against hers, "you really should rest. I don't want you to overexert yourself." His eyes flickered down to the bandage over her chest.

Hermione scoffed, "I'm not that fragile, Remus." She tilted her head to kiss him again, parting her lips and sweeping her tongue across his lower lip in a way that she knew drove him crazy. "I _want_ you," she whispered, "it feels like its been forever."

He groaned, but pulled his lips away from hers again. He appeared to contemplate it for a long moment before he broke down and kissed her heatedly. "Contraceptive spell," he mumbled against her lips, one of his hands flicking out of the water and reaching for his pile of clothes next to the tub. Hermione kissed his neck and jaw while he shifted his clothes around in search of his wand. She rocked her hips back and forth, eliciting a groan from Remus and causing the bathwater to sweep back and forth.

He finally retrieved his wand and handed it to her. Hermione quickly cast the spell and tossed it aside, ignoring the funny prickling feeling that it always left in the lower part of her stomach.

She resumed kissing him. Remus clutched at her hips with both hands in an effort to pull her closer. Hermione placed her hands on his shoulders and did the same. She was certain that she was grinding herself against him quite wantonly, but didn't have the energy to care. All her energy was focused solely on Remus and how badly she wanted him.

At last, Hermione couldn't take it any more. She lifted her hips so that she was positioned on top of him and slowly sank down onto his erection. Both sighed in bliss at the contact, tipping their heads back in the same manner. Once he was fully inside of her, Hermione paused, relishing in the feeling and getting accustomed to the angle. They'd never done this in the bath before, and it was quite different that her being on top of him in bed. Her legs were a little cramped in the sides of the tub and Remus was sitting nearly upright against the back of it, but it still provided for a truly blissful feeling when he was inside of her.

Hermione began to shift her hips slowly. Remus brought his hands to her hips and assisted in guiding the movements. Together they sighed as she floated up and sank down again. Remus leaned forward and kissed and licked at her neck, then her breasts, moving around the bandage still covering the upper left part of her chest. Hermione gripped his shoulder in one hand and tangled her fingers in his hair with the other. She moaned when he nipped lightly at her nipple. Remus grinned mischievously and did it over and over again.

She decided to retaliate by moving her hips in a slow circle. Remus shuddered with the sudden change, though by the way he closed his eyes and tipped his head back, she could tell he enjoyed it.

"I love you," he whispered, opening his eyes and gazing up at her.

She smiled, leaning in to kiss him for a long moment. "I love you," she whispered, pulling back and feeling a renewed urgency in their movements.

The coupling was slow and tender, but both Remus and Hermione still moved with harried, unsteady motions. Instead of only allowing Hermione to lift her hips up and down, Remus started to meet her movements with gentle thrusts. Hermione gasped every time he did this, and that seemed to invigorate him even more.

After a few moments, they came apart together. Remus whispered her name over and over again as he came. Hermione was too immersed in the blinding pleasure to say a thing. After a few more harried thrusts, Hermione was left breathing shallowly and leaning up against Remus' chest as he leaned against the back of the tub.

They must have stayed like that for at least ten minutes, catching their breaths and relishing in the feeling of being so intimately connected. Remus hand a hand tangled in her curls. He ran his fingers through them slowly. Hermione simply rested her head in the place between his chest and his neck and listened to his heartbeat.

There was a lot to think about in the future, and their lives would no doubt change dramatically now that Voldemort was dead and they would soon be free to live their lives. Hermione was not worried or frightened. She knew that she had Remus; he was as constant and as steady as the beating heart that she could feel beneath his chest.

* * *

After Hermione's time spent with Remus, they realized that they had to face the others within the household. They couldn't hole up together forever. Thus, after their bath, Remus fetched some clothes for Hermione to change into and then walked her downstairs to the kitchen. She only realized that she was ravenously hungry when she entered the kitchen and met the smell of stew and freshly baked bread.

Molly Weasley was standing at the stove, and turned around when the door closed behind Hermione and Remus. "Oh, Hermione!" she gushed, running over to the pair and embracing Hermione tightly, albeit gently, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," she replied, though she knew that she was breathing heavily and looked a bit pale from all the walking she'd just done to get to the kitchen.

"You look pale," Mrs. Weasley quipped, cupping the sides of Hermione's face and inspecting her closely, "why did you get out of bed? I could have sent someone up with your dinner, you know. Severus said that bedrest, while not necessary, would be advisable."

Hermione shrugged, "I needed to get out of bed. Besides, I'm alright, just a little winded."

Mrs. Weasley shot Hermione a wary look, but her eyes shifted to Remus a moment later, who still had his arm around Hermione's back in support. "And _you_!" she nearly shouted. For a moment, Hermione was terrified that Mrs. Weasley was going to attack Remus about their relationship. She readied herself for a full-blown argument, but then Mrs. Weasley spoke again. "Have you even slept a wink or eaten anything in the past twenty-four hours? I'll not have it, Remus Lupin, you're not sick or injured in any way so you had better start taking care of yourself!"

Remus blanched and nodded meekly at the woman before him. Something told Hermione that he had been expecting the same thing as she had.

"Go sit down in the dining room with the others," the redhead ordered, pointing a stern finger at Remus, "I'll have the food there in a moment and I'm going to make sure you eat something."

"Okay," Remus croaked, looking at Hermione as he began to sidestep towards the dining room.

"Go along," Mrs. Weasley shooed him, "I'm going to have a few words with Hermione."

Remus quickly fled, sending Hermione a reassuring smile before he slipped away. Hermione was left alone with Mrs. Weasley.

"How are you really feeling?" the woman asked, looking Hermione over closely, "you don't have to spare me the worry like I'm sure you've done for Remus."

Hermione took a moment to assess how she felt. "Um- I'm alright, I suppose. I feel like my whole body is fatigued and that this exhaustion will never pass, but I'm also restless and I don't want to just sit around in bed."

The woman nodded. "That'll be the remains of the silver poisoning, I'd guess. What about the wound, how does it feel?" As she said those last words she looked pointedly at Hermione's chest, where the bandage was completely covered by the jumper she wore.

"It stings to the touch," she answered, "but it's not terribly bothersome."

"Sounds about right," she nodded, turning back to the stove and stirring what appeared to be beef stew, "we'll have to change the dressing sometime tonight. The most important thing for that wound to heal is that you keep it clean and covered."

Hermione nodded. They both fell into silence while Mrs. Weasley shuffled about, adding things to the stew and continuing to stir it. "Mrs. Weasley?" Hermione asked after a moment.

"Yes, dear?" she looked over her shoulder.

Hermione fidgeted in place, wringing her hands out and chewing her lower lip. "You- uh- you know about… about Remus and me, don't you?"

Mrs. Weasley chuckled, turning around and placing her hands on her hips, "Of course I do. I'd guess that the whole house does after the show he put on. Wouldn't leave your side. Sirius had to drag him out of the lab so that Severus could heal you properly."

"Oh," Hermione breathed, surprised by the woman's lighthearted tone. "So you don't- there isn't-"

"Of course I don't object to the two of you," Mrs. Weasley cut her off, "you're an adult, Hermione. Although I am a little suspicious about the start of this relationship and your being at Hogwarts, I can tell that you both love each other. Remus is a smart, responsible man, and you are a brilliant, enormously responsible young woman."

Hermione couldn't help the smile that broke across her face and the relieved breath that left her lungs. She didn't know why she'd been so worried about this conversation.

Mrs. Weasley sensed her tremendous relief and clicked her tongue, coming closer and enveloping Hermione in another hug. "I don't object to it, but others might. You need to remember that in the future."

"Of course," Hermione nodded vigorously, her head still pressed against the older woman's chest in the tight embrace.

Mrs. Weasley pulled back, clapping Hermione affectionately on the cheek. "You can always come to me if you have questions or problems, Hermione. I have six boys, I know how they work."

Hermione smiled, letting out a small laugh. "I will. Thank you."

Mrs. Weasley nodded. "Now go inside there and sit down. You're looking more and more pale every moment you remain standing upright."

Hermione nodded once more and made her way through the doors of the kitchen, into the dining room. She was surprised by how many people were inside, and how many of them jumped up or called out her name when she entered. Her eyes first fell on Harry, Ron, and Ginny, who all beamed up at her from their seats. Across the table were Sirius and Remus, an open seat between Remus and Neville. Hermione took the seat, smiling at Remus and interlacing her fingers with his.

Everyone almost collectively asked Hermione how she was feeling. She told them that she was almost perfectly fine, despite a little fatigue. She caught up with what had been going on lately, learning that in the hours that she had been unconscious, many things had changed.

The Evening Prophet arrived halfway through dinner and Hermione took a moment to read it. The reporters were surprisingly accurate in their description of the fall of Voldemort. It spanned the top of the front page, in big letters:

_**VOLDEMORT DESTROYED FOREVER**_

Apparently Dumbledore had written a letter to the Prophet just that morning and given them a detailed (but not _fully_ detailed) description of what had happened in the woods. He told them of Harry and himself delivering the final blows to Voldemort, he told them of Kingsley Shacklebolt's valiant death, and he told them of the fall of Lucius Malfoy and Fenrir Greyback, two of the worst Death Eater tormenters.

Hermione was relieved that the Prophet knew nothing of her Lycanthropy or her altered Wolfsbane potion. She didn't plan on keeping that information a secret forever, but she wanted it to come out on her own terms, once she was ready to start distributing the new potion.

When dinner was served Hermione dug in, happy to have another meal around her friends like this. For a moment, everyone stopped talking about the war and the death and fighting. Instead, George and Fred described some of the new products they wanted to make for the joke shop, Luna started talking emphatically about Nargles, and Neville and Hermione got into a deep discussion about the finishing touches they could place on the potion for effectiveness.

It felt normal. Blissfully, wonderfully normal.

* * *

**Author's Note:** The reason this chapter took a long time was because it was originally very long (over 10k words) and then I thought about it a lot and decided that I'd rather just split it and have two chapters, and then an epilogue. With that said, this story will now end up with a nice, even 40 chapters. Also, I don't plan on withholding chapter 39 for long- it's finished and I have no reason to procrastinate.

With all that said, what did you all think of this chapter?


	39. What Lies Ahead

**XXXIX**

What Lies Ahead

* * *

After lunch Hermione was forced back into bed rest. Mrs. Weasley entered the dining room and then quickly ushered her out of the room. Remus followed behind, assuring Mrs. Weasley that he could take Hermione to bed. She still followed them down the hallway to Remus' bedroom. Hermione blushed as the woman even accompanied Hermione to Remus' bed, not caring at all that this was Remus' bedroom, not Hermione's.

"Severus needs to check on you, dear," Mrs. Weasley informed Hermione, crossing her arms and looking down at the girl in bed, "I'll send him up here in a moment, and after that you _will_ cooperate and get some rest." She said these final words with a pointed finger at Hermione and then a stern glance at Remus. Both were blushing and nodding vigorously.

"Lovely," Mrs. Weasley sighed, wiping her hands on her apron and leaving the room. Remus chuckled softly and grinned at Hermione, who was tucked up in bed, her head propped against several pillows the woman had forced on her.

A moment later none other than Severus Snape entered Remus' bedroom, a sour look on his face. "Hello, Professor," Hermione greeted him cheerfully.

He grumbled an unenthusiastic response as he approached the bed, glaring at Remus to move out of the way. Remus stepped aside, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Hermione's feet.

"Any pains?" Snape asked.

"The wound feels sore and stings to the touch," she answered, "but nothing other than that."

Snape nodded. "Any dizziness or loss of vision?"

She shook her head briskly. At the foot of the bed, Remus wore a tight-lipped expression.

Snape nodded once more. "I'll have to change the dressing on the wound now," he murmured, looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Okay," Hermione chirped. She was getting a strange sort of amusement out of the way Snape squirmed with discomfort. She shifted upright in bed and pulled her jumper off. Remus quirked an eyebrow at her from the foot of the bed. She smiled sweetly at him, laying down once more in only her bra. The gauzy bandage covered the upper left side of her chest.

With a mechanical flick of his wand, Snape banished the bandage. Hermione took the chance to pick her head up and look at the wound. It was horribly grotesque, a mess of blotchy red skin and torn flesh. The center of the wound was the worst; one could clearly see the deep gash of where the blade had dug into her chest.

Snape flicked his wand and a cast two more spells. The first made the wound tickle a little and the second sent a cool sensation washing over the damaged skin.

"That should dull the pain," Snape murmured, flicking his wand and causing another gauzy bandage to appear, wrapping itself over Hermione's wound. "The dressing needs to be changed again in about twelve hours."

He looked like he was about to leave, stepping away from Hermione's bedside. "Wait," she said, stopping him in his tracks while she pulled her jumper back over her head, "I have a question."

"Yes, Miss Granger?" He replied, turning to face her once more.

"I've been informed that you used some sort of dark spell to heal me," she murmured, playing with the edge of the quilt that covered Remus' bed.

"Yes. I did."

"What was it?"

Remus sat up a little, looking at Snape curiously. Hermione simply watched him. He appeared emotionless. "It was harmless dark magic, if that's what you're worried about," he informed her stonily. "I siphoned the poison from the silver out of your body using a blood summoning spell. The reason I had Remus leave the room was because the process of removing the poison is unsightly. You had something of a seizure, and you were in immense pain, despite being unconscious."

"Oh," Hermione exhaled, her gaze floating to Remus, who was staring at Snape anxiously. "Well," she turned back to Snape, "thank you, Professor. I think I owe you my life."

Snape pursed his lips, "it would seem so." Without saying another word, he turned and made his way out of the room.

Hermione shared a confused glance with Remus before she smiled, "my suspicions have been confirmed."

Remus smiled, making his way over to where Hermione laid, "what do you mean by that?" He slipped under the covers and wrapped his arms around her.

"He has a soft spot for me," Hermione replied simply, leaning into Remus' embrace.

"Mmm," Remus hummed in agreement, kissing her temple, "I suppose I'm thankful for his soft spot then."

"Me too," she sighed. Hermione closed her eyes and concentrated on the rise and fall of Remus' chest. She was surprised by how easy it was to fall asleep again, despite feeling like she'd only awakened hours ago.

* * *

The next few days were filled with plenty of mandatory resting time for Hermione. Mrs. Weasley checked up on her constantly, always trying to bring her food or check how she was feeling. When Hermione wasn't resting in Remus' bed everyone seemed to be trying to make sure that she was always sitting down and comfortable.

It was infuriating. Hermione was frustrated with being coddled and treated like she would collapse at any moment. Thus, after two days of this, she started demanding that she be allowed to get out of bed and actually do things again.

Surprisingly, Mrs. Weasley agreed that Hermione ought to be able to exert herself again, as long as people accompanied her most of the time. The first time Hermione properly got up and did something was with Remus. They went for a long walk around the borders of the property, spending their time admiring the gardens and talking sullenly about what had happened on the full moon and how they felt about it.

The next day Ginny offered to take Hermione for a walk. She was happy to comply and get a moment alone with Ginny. Hermione told Ginny everything that the girl had missed about her relationship with Remus. Ginny was jumping up and down in excitement when Hermione told her about how Remus had spun her around in the moonlight and told her he loved her.

"So bloody romantic!" Ginny enthused, giggling. Hermione just blushed and smiled. It was nice talking to another girl about these things. It wasn't like she could very freely talk to Harry or Ron about her relationship with Remus.

Ginny then told Hermione about herself and Harry, and how they had been talking about their future together. "Harry's been talking about getting married," Ginny mumbled, staring at the ground with a small grin.

"_What?"_ Hermione gasped, seeing the grin fully overtake Ginny's face.

"It's not- he hasn't proposed or anything," Ginny quickly amended, "he just- we've talked about the future together and he told me that one day he would like to get married."

"Ginny, that's wonderful," Hermione said, wrapping her friend in a hug. She was surprised that Harry had brought up the idea of marriage, but she supposed that at a time like this in his life, he was allowed to think about getting married to the woman he loved. After all, his parents had probably been thinking about marriage when they were at this age as well.

"Have you talked with Remus about the future?" Ginny inquired a moment later, once they were walking again. They were just passing the small pond. Tadpoles scurried away from the edges as the young women passed.

Hermione furrowed her brow, "we've spoken briefly about the future… but only concerning the potion and lycanthropy."

"And your relationship?"

"Uh… not really," Hermione said, the realization hitting her, "should we be talking about that?"

Ginny shrugged, "you're not obligated to. It's just… we're going to be leaving soon. Do you know what happens after Dumbledore says it's safe to leave the Estate?"

Hermione chewed her lip, staring at the ground as she became continuously more and more worried about this. "I had planned on visiting my parents as soon as possible… trying to rebuild my relationship with them. He probably knows that I want to do that, but…" Hermione sighed, turning to look at Ginny, who shared the same contemplative look. "I suppose we ought to talk about it," Hermione concluded.

Ginny nodded in agreement.

Despite saying that she would, Hermione didn't talk about it with Remus. She feared what that conversation would entail, and so that night after dinner when they sat in the library alone, she didn't bring it up. She didn't bring it up the next day either. Hermione Granger had never been one for procrastination before, but here she was, putting off a very important conversation.

Remus was outstandingly patient about everything, and Hermione could tell that he was going to let her start that conversation on her own terms. He was giving her time to heal and accustom herself to life after the war. She continued to take that time, working on rebuilding her health and reassessing her relationships with others at the Estate. The day after her conversation with Ginny, Hermione decided it was time to talk to Draco.

She approached the closed door with tentative steps. When she arrived in front of it she extended a cautious hand and knocked twice.

The door opened several seconds later, revealing a pale and exhausted Draco Malfoy.

"Hi," Hermione breathed.

"Hello," he replied, furrowing his brows as he looked at her.

"May I come in?"

He inspected her for a long moment before nodding, opening the door wider and turning back into the room. Hermione stepped inside the room and looked around. It was one of the standard bedrooms at the Estate, with a dresser and a large queen sized bed in the center of the room. On the far wall, just like in Remus' room, a window faced outside, overlooking the gardens.

The person lying in bed was Hermione's main concern. Narcissa Malfoy lay with her eyes closed and her body still as death. The quilt was drawn up to her chest and her blonde hair was fanned around her neatly. She looked frighteningly like a corpse prepared for a funeral. Hermione resisted the urge to grimace at the sight before her.

Draco took a seat in one of the two chairs at Narcissa's bedside. He nodded towards the other and Hermione sat beside him. "Is she going to be alright?" she asked, swallowing the lump in her throat.

Draco nodded, though his expression was grim. "Severus said she will heal with time. Dolohov used a very dark curse on her. We're lucky Severus knew how to stop the damage."

"She couldn't be taken to St. Mungo's?"

Draco shook his head. "It's still not safe with all the loose Death Eaters. My mother is a target. They know that we changed sides and fought against them in the battle. Dumbledore and Severus both seem to think that they're watching St. Mungo's, waiting for someone like her to check in…"

Hermione tentatively lifted her hand and placed in on Draco's shoulder. He went rigid, obviously uncomfortable with the touch. After a moment, however, his posture relaxed a little and he seemed marginally comforted. "I'm sorry you've had to go through all this."

He shrugged, "I'd actually rather it be us than one of you, as odd as that sounds." Draco appeared to truly realize the strangeness of his words as soon as they left his mouth. He frowned at the floor for a long moment before lifting his head again, "we were on the wrong side for so long and we never realized it. I can hardly even comprehend it."

Hermione nodded slowly, looking back to Narcissa. They descended into silence for a long time. Draco finally broke the silence. "Congratulations on the potion," he said.

Hermione allowed herself a half smile. "Thank you."

"Are you going to start distributing it now?" He inclined his head to glance at her, and she could tell he wanted a distraction from the very still, very pale body in the bed before him.

Hermione sighed, "not yet, as much as I hate to say it. We have to be completely sure that it works with no side effects. That means one more full moon to test it. But after that, I plan on spending all my time publicizing and distributing as much as possible."

"I'd like to help," Draco murmured. His voice was so quiet that Hermione hardly even heard it.

"Really?" she replied, shifting to stare at him.

He nodded, an indulgent smile crossing his face. "I know. It's outrageous. Draco Malfoy engaging in _philanthropy_?"

"What has the world come to?" she gasped, playing along.

They laughed together, chuckling quietly until Draco spoke again. "In all seriousness," he muttered, "I'd like to help you. I need something to do with my life, and I'd imagine that you're going to need a lot of help."

Hermione nodded, allowing herself a broad smile. "Thank you, Draco. I will need help, though you may not like to hear that Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna have all already agreed to help me."

His mouth contorted into a frown, but after a moment the frown softened. "I suppose I can stand a few Gryffindors. As long as Potter and Weasley don't pick any fights."

"They won't," she assured him, shaking her head and smiling.

He nodded, turning to look at his mother's still form. Silence encroached on them once again. This time Hermione broke through it.

"Draco," she began, hesitating before the words could leave her mouth, "your father…"

"Is dead," he finished, an unnerving hardness in his voice.

Hermione gulped. "Yes."

"And Lupin killed him."

"Yes," she said again.

"If you're going to ask how I feel, don't expect me to ramble on about my sordid feelings and fucked up relationship with my father." His voice was still hard, and his jaw was clenched as he stared at his mother.

"I-I don't," Hermione said, "I just- I wanted to know if you were upset about Remus' part in all of it."

Draco didn't respond at first, just staring off at his mother. At last, his jaw unclenched and some of the hardness in his glare dissipated. "No. Lupin deserved to be the one to kill that bastard after what he did to the two of you."

"Okay," Hermione breathed, still a bit confused at how he felt but at least partially reassured.

"Is that all?" he asked, turning to look at her, one brow arched in the trademark Malfoy way.

She nodded. "Thank you for speaking with me, Draco."

He nodded back at her. Hermione stood from her chair and made her way for the door. Draco didn't say another word as she slipped out of the somber bedroom and into the hall.

* * *

"Hermione?"

Hermione picked her head up from the book she'd been pursuing to look at the source of the voice. Harry stood near the fireplace of the library, Ron at his side. They had just finished up a game of Wizard's Chess. "Yes, Harry?" She scooted backwards so she was sitting up on the couch, resting the book in her lap. Remus was on the other end of the couch, her feet having previously been perched on his lap while he buried his nose in another book. In the armchair closest to his side of the couch was Sirius, sipping a glass of ancient scotch. He had just been watching the game of chess and holding a conversation with the boys. Now he watched them with a small smile as they stood, looking to Hermione.

"Do you want to take a walk with us?" Harry offered, ruffling his haphazard hair and nodding towards Ron at his side.

Hermione smiled, "that sounds lovely." It was late in the afternoon and Hermione had hardly risen from the couch in the library all day. Her neck was a little sore from looking down at her book and her eyes were quite overworked. She could do with a walk and some fresh air.

Harry and Ron both smiled. She felt like something important was going on here, and walking with them was the only way to find out what.

She slowly rose from the couch, stepping past Remus and leaning down to place a chaste kiss on his cheek. His hand brushed lightly against the back of her leg as she passed. Harry and Ron followed her out of the library, towards the door that led to the gardens outside. Once they were outside the three fell into stride together.

"Dumbledore came by today," Harry said, as if it was an extremely casual occurrence.

"Really?" Hermione turned to look at him, "When? What did he say? Why didn't he call a meeting?"

Harry shrugged, "it seemed like he was just here to have a word with Snape or something. I only saw him in passing this morning. He wouldn't really tell me anything, but he did say that it's only a few days until everything is cleared up and we can leave."

Hermione swallowed. _A few days?_ That sounded like no time at all. "So that means that they must be capturing the Death Eaters."

"Dad told me that they arrested Bellatrix and her husband yesterday," Ron said, "and the day before they got Dolohov."

Hermione furrowed her brow. So things were really moving along. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" she asked, looking from Harry to Ron, on either side of her.

"Sort of," Harry murmured. He walked with his hands in his pockets, appearing quite at ease. "Ron and I have decided something," he added a moment later, "and we figured we should tell you about it now that we're certain."

"What is it?" she prodded.

Harry smiled. Ron did the same. Hermione continued to look between them.

"We've decided to join the Auror program," Ron said. Hermione now recognized that it was a proud smile on his face.

"Aurors?" Hermione replied, her voice sounding faraway.

Harry nodded, "we spoke to Tonks about it a lot and we've decided that it's what we want to do as soon as we get out of here."

"That's… that's wonderful," Hermione said, letting out a breath and smiling at both of them. She'd always expected the boys to want to pursue some sort of career like this, but she was surprised that they were so certain about it. It had obviously taken a lot of consideration; the Auror program was a very big commitment.

"And we want to get a flat together," Ron added.

"We were actually wondering if you want to join us," Harry said, "You know, getting a flat together; just the three of us. Like it's always been."

Hermione sensed a bit of wistfulness behind Harry's words. She found the same wistfulness in Ron's hopeful smile. "You two have obviously been thinking about the future a lot," she murmured, fixing her gaze straight ahead. The sun was setting in the distance, past all the gardens and over the trees.

"Haven't you been thinking about it too?" Ron asked.s

Hermione shrugged. "To be honest I've been putting it off." This conversation was making her realize that she couldn't put it off much longer. Dumbledore said that they would only be here for a few days. Hermione really had to have that conversation with Remus about what came next. Merlin, why had she put it off for so long?

The answer to that was obviously that she was frightened of what that conversation would entail. But really, what did she have to be afraid of? She knew that Remus wanted to be with her, and she knew that she wanted to be with him. Figuring out the future was just a matter of logistics.

"Well what would you like to do?" Harry asked gently, "you want to be with Remus—obviously—and you want to work on the potion, but what else?"

Hermione worried her lip between her teeth. "I think I need to be with my parents first and foremost."

"So no flat?" Ron asked, giving her a sidelong glance.

She took a deep breath, "Not right now. I think the two of you should get a flat together and I fully support the Auror program. I'm extremely happy for both of you. I just… I really need to figure things out."

"You sound anxious," Harry commented, "and you've got that look on your face."

"What look?" she retorted, narrowing her eyes at him.

"_That_ look," he said, pointing at her face, "the look you always get before you go into mad studying mode and spend two days straight in the library."

Harry and Ron both laughed. Hermione just stared ahead and continued walking, resisting the urge to smile. "I've realized that I have a lot to think about, a lot to sort out."

"With Remus?" Harry inquired.

She nodded, "and with myself… but mostly with Remus. We haven't talked about the future."

Harry and Ron nodded. The trio continued walking down the pathway, out of the gardens and towards the perimeter of the Estate.

Ron broke the silence, staring at the ground with a concentrated expression. "I know I wasn't very accepting of your relationship with him at first," he mumbled, "but I was just surprised, you know? Now that I've seen it… I think the two of you are good together."

"Everyone thinks you're good together," Harry interjected.

Hermione smiled, feeling the blush rise on her cheeks. "Thank you. It's good to hear that."

Harry patted her on the shoulder consolingly, "you two just need to talk. It'll be much simpler once you do that."

Hermione chuckled, finding it ironic that she was getting relationship advice from Harry Potter. She could still clearly remember each of his embarrassing interactions with girls at Hogwarts.

"What?" Harry asked, eyeing her expression warily, "did I say something funny?"

Hermione chuckled, shaking her head and putting her left arm around Harry's shoulders, and then her right arm around Ron's. "I was just reminiscing," she murmured.

Neither Harry nor Ron said anything more. The trio continued walking, arms around each other, the sun setting off in the distance.

* * *

"Remus?" Hermione called softly, knocking on the ajar door.

"Come in," his voice floated out.

Hermione pressed open the door to his bedroom, finding him inside, standing in front of the small wooden desk in the corner. He appeared to be sorting through the books and papers on his desk. There were several large stacks of books all over the surface. "What are you doing?" she asked as she approached his side and glanced over his shoulder.

"I was just going through my things," he said, "did Harry tell you about Albus' visit this morning?"

Hermione nodded, "We have a few days left until we can leave."

"Exactly," Remus murmured, "I figured that I might as well start getting my things together."

Hermione felt that there was a disconnect between them, some sort of heavy tension in the air. She was anxious for this conversation, and mad that she'd put it off so long. Now it just felt odd. In a few days they had to leave this place and move on to an entirely new phase of their lives.

"What-" Hermione began quietly, repeating herself again a little louder, "what do you think you'd like to do next? After we leave?"

Remus turned away from his desk to face her. His expression was one of careful contemplation. "I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. I had hoped we would figure something out together."

She recognized the worry in his tone and felt the tightness in her chest dissipate some. "Me too. I- I think we ought to talk about it."

He nodded and motioned toward the bed across the room. Hermione followed him to it and they sat side by side on the edge of the bed. Remus shifted so that he was facing her and grasped one of her hands in his, running his forefinger lightly over her knuckles. "What would you like to do next?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "First I'd like to go see my parents. My relationship with them has deteriorated a lot as a result of the war. I really would like to try to make up for it."

"Of course," Remus said without missing a beat, "Do you plan on moving back in?"

"Yes. Not for a long time, but just until I feel that we're in a better place." While Hermione did want to stay with her parents for the purpose of fixing her relationship with them, she also leaned towards that option because she didn't know what else she and Remus would do. While they'd practically been living together for months, they hadn't been living _alone_ together, and she knew that it was still early in their relationship to think that actually moving in together, just the two of them, would be appropriate.

"I think that's a very good idea," he replied, and the words sent a rush of relief through Hermione.

"And what will you do?" she asked, looking down at their clasped hands. His finger still ran small circles over the skin on the back of her hand.

He let out a heavy breath, "to be honest, I don't have many options. I think I'll be living in my cottage for a while. I lack the funds to do anything else." A sullen expression overtook his face. "But eventually I'd like to fix it up a bit and sell it."

Hermione nodded, ignoring the self-deprecation in his words. "That sounds good."

His lips curved up in a small smile. "Will you still have time to see me once you're living with your parents? Perhaps I can take you on a few proper dates."

Hermione couldn't help but grin. "That sounds lovely, and I'll definitely have time for it. I don't want you to play any less of a role in my life, Remus."

He moved forward, lifting his free hand to brush against the curls on the side of her head. "Nor do I," he whispered, leaning closer and pressing a short kiss to her lips.

"We'll see each other as often as possible," she said, "and you can meet my parents properly. As the man I'm dating, not… not as my professor."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "I'd like that." He kissed her again.

"We also have to think about the potion," Hermione said once he'd pulled back, "I want to start mass producing it." Her brows furrowed together as she considered this more, "though I suppose that before any of that can happen we'll need to publicize it. Perhaps an academic paper would be most appropriate. I could write it. Professor Snape is a Potions Master, so his credibility could help in getting it published."

Remus was smirking at her in amusement.

"What?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"You're adorable when you get excited about your work," he quipped.

She rolled her eyes.

"But honestly," Remus continued, "I think that's an excellent plan. Severus will certainly assist in publishing the paper and it will get the word out. I'm all for the mass production and distribution. No werewolf should ever have to go through another unnecessary transformation."

A million thoughts were passing through her head about the potion. They were obviously going to deliver it to as many werewolves as possible, and no one should have to worry about being able to afford it, as was the problem with regular Wolfsbane. "It will be very expensive," she murmured, worrying her lower lip between her teeth, "we should file for a grant from the Ministry or some Potions association. That can be part of the paper."

He nodded. "I'm sure we can raise some money towards it with enough time and effort."

"I agree," Hermione said, this conversation making her feel excited and giddy about all that was going to happen. "It's certainly going to be difficult," she added a moment later. "Public opinion of werewolves is not very good. Many people won't think that it's worth it to produce the potion, but I think if we work hard on educating people…"

"Hermione," Remus said, looking at her with a sudden seriousness, "you're a war hero and a werewolf. Things are going to change because of you. People already love you. Soon they'll understand. With Voldemort and much of his prejudice gone it will be easy to rally more support for our kind."

"You're a war hero too," she said simply, "we'll both change things. Harry and Dumbledore and Snape and all the others with influence will help." As Hermione said these words, she felt her chest grow tight with an onslaught of emotion. She didn't think she'd ever felt more hopeful before. Everything was going to work out. They were going to make the world better. Harry's destroying of Voldemort had only been the first step.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, his face twisting in concern. He reached his hand up to her face again and brushed at her cheek. His thumb was wet when he pulled it away.

"Nothing's wrong," Hermione said, more tears stinging at her eyes, "I'm just happy. Everything's going to be okay."

His worried expression softened and he leaned closer, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a tight embrace. "Yes. It's all going to be okay. More than okay, actually."

She couldn't help the happy laughter that bubbled up in her chest and jumped out of her throat. Remus laughed as well, though he seemed to only be laughing out of amusement at her own spontaneous joy. They fell over sideways on the bed, still embracing, laughter filling the air between them. Remus lay sprawled out on the bed facing the ceiling, Hermione trapped in his side, her head resting between his shoulder and his chest. Their laughter slowly died away into peaceful quiet. Hermione curled into Remus' side contentedly. He turned his head to bury his nose in her hair, pressing a kiss onto the top of her head.

Hermione sighed and sunk into him. There was a lot to be done in the future, but she was more than ready to face it. She'd never felt more ready for anything in her life.

* * *

**Author's note:** I'm already really emotional about this so I won't ramble on about my feelings just yet. I'm saving that for the epilogue. For now, let me know how you found this final chapter. The epilogue should come soon, but I want it as polished as possible, so it may be a week or so before I post it.


	40. Epilogue

**XXXX**

Epilogue

* * *

Eleven full moons.

It had been eleven full moons since Hermione had cured Lycanthropy.

And Remus still looked at her just the same.

The same wonderment and youthful happiness filled his eyes. The same gleeful smile spread across his face. The same carefree laughter still filled his lungs as he gazed up at the luminescent moon hanging in the sky.

On the second full moon without a transformation Hermione and Remus started a tradition. They had gone back to Remus' cottage in the woods for the night, just to be certain that the potion worked and that the original batch hadn't been a lucky deviance from the normal.

On that night Remus procured an old wireless radio. They stood outside his cottage under the moonlight, holding hands and watching the gentle creeping of the moon into the starry sky. After they were certain it worked, Remus turned to Hermione and laughed and smiled and kissed her. Then he summoned his old wireless and turned it on, tuning it to a station that played old Muggle slow tunes. A particular slow jazz piece started rasping through the radio. Remus pulled Hermione into an ungainly dance on the grass in the front of his cottage. He grinned as he twirled and dipped her. Hermione just tried to keep up with his superior dance moves—she had always been quite clumsy when it came to spontaneous dancing like this—and take in all his happiness.

That night was the inception of a tradition that lasted through every full moon. Without fail, Remus and Hermione found their way outside and danced under the moonlight. Even tonight, as the full moon fell on the date of a long-awaited dinner with the whole extended family at the Burrow, they were going to dance.

They had already eaten dinner with the others before Remus tapped Hermione on the shoulder, pulling her away from her conversation with Ginny and Luna and showing her his wristwatch. "Three minutes," he murmured, lips quirking into a smile as he tapped the glass of the watch.

"You get the wireless," she replied, "I'll meet you outside."

"Perfect," he said, winking at her before he slipped away.

Hermione wished that she could have known Remus as a teenager. Certainly he would have often acted as he did on nights like tonight.

She met him outside exactly two minutes and fifty-five seconds later, having broken away from a conversation about Wrackspurts just in time. He was waiting in the grassy area just outside the front door of the Burrow. Muffled voices could be heard inside the house, but only distantly. When he turned on the radio Hermione was easily able to forget the others. This was a moment for them alone.

The radio jumped to life as a more upbeat tune began to play. They took a moment to watch the moon rise over the horizon, creeping into the sky as slowly as always. It was strange how the moon had once frightened them so much. Now it was nothing but a memory of how things had once been. It also served as a reminder to Hermione that she always had to continue making that potion, continue distributing it to werewolves, and continue teaching others how to brew it.

"Dance with me?" Remus asked, drawing Hermione out of her thoughts with an outstretched hand.

"Of course," she replied, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her close.

They swayed to the music for several moments. Hermione inspected Remus, wanting the memory of this night to remain clearly in her mind. He had shaved the stubble on his face just before they left for the Burrow. Hermione had insisted; it simply was getting too long. Plus, he looked dashingly handsome when he was clean-shaven. Actually, he always looked dashingly handsome. Perhaps that was just Hermione's affection speaking.

The music picked up the pace as a piano melody began to play. Remus dipped Hermione suddenly, and she squealed in surprise. When he pulled her back up he was grinning. She couldn't resist breaking out of step to lean forward and kiss him soundly on the lips. He tried to continue dancing and kissing her at the same time, but it hardly worked. They broke apart from the kiss a moment later and continued dancing.

Remus twirled her several times, and then Hermione insisted that she should be allowed to twirl him. He bent over awkwardly to fit under her arm and spun around, kissing her again once he was done.

After another moment the music stopped. Remus was immediately kissing her, on her nose and forehead and then her lips. "I'm still in awe of you," he murmured between kisses, "every month I'm in awe of what you've managed."

She didn't get a chance to respond because he was suddenly kissing her deeply and passionately. When his hands pulled her body closer and his tongue slipped into her mouth, gliding against her lips, Hermione forgot what he'd even said or what she wanted to say in response.

A burst of muffled laughter from inside the house brought her back to reality.

"Remus," she whispered, detaching their lips, "everyone's still inside."

"Don't care," he responded, kissing her neck and finding the sweet spot just below her ear.

Hermione moaned. "They can see us through the windows."

"Then we'd better put on a good show," he said, punctuating the words by pressing his hips into hers. She could feel his arousal, hard and hot against her lower stomach.

"Remus!" she squeaked, scandalized at his behavior. Perhaps _this_ was what he was like as a teenager.

"Fine," he conceded, breaking his lips away and grasping her hand, "let's find a tree."

"A _tree_?" she hissed, allowing him to pull her further away from the house. She looked over her shoulder at the house, seeing the shadows of people through the windows, hearing their distant voices.

Remus was quick to find a large oak tree, the only one in the vicinity of the house. She found herself laughing at the sight of it. Remus joined in on her laughter, still tugging her towards the tree. He pulled Hermione behind it and pressed her against the trunk. His lips were on hers once more, fervent and heated. Hermione forgot all her concerns about those back in the house when his hand cupped her breast over her light cotton dress and flicked at a nipple.

She supposed Remus' apparent… _excitement_ could be attributed to the fact that despite the potion, the usual full moon symptoms still occurred. They still felt restless before the full moon, their senses still increased dramatically, and the heightened sex drive was still just as strong. The difference was that without the transformation Hermione and Remus both found that they didn't pay the symptoms any mind. They forgot most of the time, and it was a blissful forgetfulness.

Remus shifted his hips forward, grinding his hardness into Hermione's center. She gasped into his mouth. "Remus," she whispered, "I want you."

"I know," he mumbled, one of his hands hiking her dress up while the other pulled aside her knickers and pressed against her center, dipping into her wetness and brushing against her clit.

Hermione gasped again, bucking into his hand unwillingly. "_Fuck_, Remus," she hissed, "Just get inside me already."

He grinned at her roguishly, "I love it when you talk dirty."

She smacked him lightly on the shoulder before leaning in to kiss him once more. By the time she pulled back for air he had undone his trousers and then somehow retrieved his wand, banishing her knickers. He thrust into her without preamble, and Hermione knew he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him.

They hissed together at the sensation. Remus began moving at a steady pace. Hermione lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist, hooking her ankles and pulling him closer while his hands cupped her hips to hold her against the tree. Her back was still pressed against the trunk, though she found that she didn't mind the way the bark scratched at her exposed back. All she could focus on was the blissful feeling of Remus inside of her, stretching and filling her so perfectly.

It took them only moments to reach their completion. Hermione had to resist the urge to scream, remembering foggily that her friends were all still gathered inside the house no more than one hundred paces away. Instead she clutched Remus' shoulders and hissed obscenities as he drove into her.

When they both came down from their high they simply leaned against the tree, catching their breath. Remus pressed lazy kisses against Hermione's exposed shoulder. "You've become much more vulgar with time, you know," he mumbled between kisses.

"What?" she furrowed her brow and gazed down at him.

"You like to curse a lot," he explained, his mouth finding her lips and kissing languidly, "and I quite enjoy the way you curse."

She rolled her eyes, but still gave him a fond smile. "We need to get back inside before they wonder where we've gone."

He reluctantly nodded, stepping away and releasing Hermione from the tree. She straightened her dress and pulled out her wand to cast a cleaning charm over the pair of them.

Together they moved around the tree and started towards the house. As they approached, the front door opened and a dark figure stepped outside. Hermione would recognize that rigid posture and those imposing black robes anywhere.

Severus Snape stepped out beside the doorway, letting the door swing shut behind him while he brought a cigarette up to his mouth. He retrieved his wand from the pocket of his robes and flicked it, causing a soft light to catch at the end of the cigarette.

"Severus Snape," Hermione said, loudly enough to sound intimidating, "put that damned thing out!" She began to stride towards the house at a renewed pace, Remus trailing closely behind.

Severus' head snapped up to look at the approaching couple. He wrinkled his nose at them, the cigarette remaining between his fingers while he took a long drag.

Hermione gagged, getting a whiff of the smell and grimacing. "That's disgusting. I thought we talked about this. It's horribly bad for you. Do you want lung cancer?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm a grown man. It's one damned cigarette."

"Oh don't give me that! I know it's more than one," she quipped, arriving in front of him, Remus beside her.

Severus' eyes flicked between Remus and Hermione suspiciously before flicking towards the tree they'd come from. His brows pulled together until Hermione tried to reach forward and grab the cigarette from his hand. He immediately raised his hand in the air, holding it just out of her reach. "Stop that, you infernal woman!"

Hermione let up, stepping back and glaring at him. Beside her Remus just shook his head and smiled.

Severus took another drag, muttering a moment later, "I don't understand where you get off thinking you can mother me like you do for Potter and Weasley."

"I mother people who need mothering," she retorted, "now tell me, why have you not quit yet? You told me you were going to quit."

"I did quit for a while," he muttered, "but then I suddenly found myself forced into a horrendous dinner full of insufferable Gryffindors." He nodded back towards the house as he said these words.

"Oh, quit complaining," Hermione replied. "Besides, we're not all Gryffindors. Draco and Luna are here."

Severus scoffed. "As if I'd want to talk to either of them. What with their overwhelming need to snog each other at every moment."

Hermione quirked a brow as she considered the truth to that statement. Draco and Luna were probably the most surprising couple that had surfaced over the past year or so. Yet they appeared to be hopelessly in love, and their emotional attachment was nothing compared to their physical attachment. She'd seen more of them snogging than even Harry and Ginny—and that was saying something.

"Let me remind you," Severus murmured, "that I have always objected to come to these… social gatherings."

The way he said those final words sounded all too melodramatic. Hermione couldn't help the grin that crossed her face. Beside her, Remus was smiling calmly as well. "Just get your arse back inside and socialize," Hermione said after a moment, grabbing Remus by the arm and pulling him gently past Severus, towards the house. She caught a glimpse of a look shared between Severus and Remus as they passed but decided to ignore it.

Severus and Remus had become rather good friends in the past several months. As Severus started working with them on the distribution and marketing of the potion, he'd spent much more time with Remus. How they'd gone from childhood enemies to good friends in their lifetime was beyond her.

Severus didn't work at Hogwarts anymore. Instead he did independent potions research, brewing and selling potions in his free time to make a living. In addition, a large amount of his time was spent helping Hermione in various ways with the Wolfsbane potion. Despite his bad habits such as smoking and being a complete irritable social recluse, she was happy to have him around.

Together Hermione and Remus passed Severus and entered the Burrow, stopping just inside the door. Voices could be heard around the corner. Hermione stopped and turned to look at Remus. "How do I look?" she asked, running a hand through her hair.

He smirked and lifted a hand to pat down the hair on top of her head. "Like you've just been thoroughly shagged," he murmured.

She rolled her eyes and straightened the collar of his shirt. "Well you're not much better."

He shrugged and turned towards the source of all the other voices. "Shall we?"

Hermione nodded, falling into step beside him.

"Hermione!"

It was Ron's voice that called out to her. He strode to her side immediately upon her entrance to the room and grabbed her arm. "Settle an argument for me, okay?"

She inspected Ron for a moment before looking behind him, where Draco stood with his arms crossed.

"Okay…" Hermione agreed, turning back to Ron. She felt Remus at her side, watching the boys with the same confusion.

"I had three broken ribs from Rostov case, right?" He looked at Hermione with bright, pleading eyes.

"Three broken- Ronald… what does that matter?" Hermione placed her hands on her hips.

"Malfoy doesn't believe that I chased him through Berlin and arrested him with broken ribs." As he said this, he nodded back to Draco, who still watched with disbelieving expressions. "But I did," Ron persisted, "you healed my ribs after!"

Hermione narrowed her eyes and looked from Ron, to Draco, and then back to Ron. "Is this some sort of male testosterone sort of thing?" she asked slowly.

"Probably," Remus muttered under his breath.

"Most definitely," Harry agreed, an amused smirk on his face as approached the group from around the corner, Ginny at his side.

"They're constantly trying to prove who's tougher," Ginny added, "why anyone ever thought they'd be good partners is beyond me."

Ron and Draco had recently become partners in the Auror Department, and now worked on virtually all cases together. Before about a month ago, Harry and Ron had been partners and worked exceptionally well together. Then Harry had been promoted to the investigative wing of the department and Ron had been in need of a new partner. Somehow, around the same time, Draco had finished his training (after deciding to become an Auror four months earlier). Naturally, Ron and Draco were paired up.

"I don't think I'm going to answer that," Hermione said, looking back at Ron, who huffed in frustration. Behind him, Draco grinned.

"Harry will back me up!" Ron said, turning to his friend, "you heard all about the case after it happened!"

Harry shrugged, a mischievous grin on his face, "I never saw the broken ribs. You could have been lying for all I know…"

Ron groaned. "Forget it," he said, storming off into the kitchen in search of food. Draco was left with a triumphant smile.

"You really ought to stop provoking him, Draco," Hermione said pointedly.

"Can't," Draco answered, "it's just about the only entertainment I have nowadays."

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned away from Draco, who was now going off in search of Luna. "Is Neville here yet? Remus and I have to speak to him."

Ginny nodded. "He's in with the others."

Hermione followed Ginny's gaze around the corner, where everyone else was standing around, talking. It was a sea of red hair, with only a couple people who didn't have the matching gene. She picked out Neville easily, talking to Fred and George. Remus was at her side as they approached.

Neville grinned at the sight of them, and Fred and George stepped away. He hugged Hermione tightly and then shook hands with Remus.

"I've heard that you decided to take the post at Hogwarts," Remus said, "congratulations. You have a very rewarding experience ahead of you."

Neville grinned, "thanks, Remus. That's good to hear. I'm excited for it."

"It's going to be amazing," Hermione added, "and you're going to be the best Herbology Professor Hogwarts has seen in years."

A slight blush colored Neville's cheeks. "I don't know if I can be better than Sprout…"

"You're extraordinarily talented in Herbology, Neville," Hermione assured him, "and now everyone knows that you're the main reason the Wolfsbane alteration was a success."

"Maybe," Neville mumbled. "So how did all the deliveries go? Did you get it done in time?"

Hermione nodded. "We cut it a little close with the last one," Remus said, "but we still made it in time."

The deliveries he was referring to were, of course, the Wolfsbane. Or, as it was officially known, the Granger-Longbottom Wolfsbane. That was its legal title, as decided when they'd written up the paper and gotten it patented and funded. Hermione still felt a little odd putting her name on it like that, but it was nice to share the title with Neville.

The Granger-Longbottom Wolfsbane, after being completely finished and approved by the Ministry, had been ready for distribution. That was what Hermione, Remus, Neville, and many of their other friends had been doing for the past eight months. It was proving to be difficult to distribute, as there were many, many werewolves in the world. The lycanthropes that were connected to normal Wizarding society were easy to help—they simply had to file with the Ministry of Magic (or their country's Wizarding governing body) and pick up their potions before the full moon.

Many lycanthropes lived in packs, disconnected from society after being so fed up with life as social outcasts. Those were the difficult ones to reach. Still, Hermione and Remus worked tirelessly at finding all the packs they could. Once they located a new pack, they would go visit the group together and try to explain their potion and its advantages. Many packs refused. They were wary of a potion and the monthly transformation was actually a normal, accepted part of their lives now.

Some packs accepted the potion, and that was where they made the deliveries, every day for a week before the full moon. Usually it was just Hermione and Remus. In the beginning, Severus had accompanied them often. They would meet the pack, make sure everyone took their potions, and answer any questions that members of the packs had.

As for the packs that refused the potion, Remus and Hermione were working very hard to find ways to convince them otherwise. They'd changed the minds of a few groups, but many still resisted, some even becoming hostile with them. Still, Hermione would always want to keep trying. She knew that some of these werewolves were biting innocent people during full moons, accidental or not, and she didn't want anyone else to get bitten if it could be avoided. That was one of the lucky advantages of the potion—once taken, the werewolf could not infect any others on the full moon with full-blown lycanthropy, simply because they had not transformed.

"Good to hear" said Neville, nodding at the two of them.

"We wanted to talk to you about something," Hermione said a moment later, lowering her voice and sharing a look with Remus.

"Yeah?" Neville's smile fell as he watched them.

"How easily can you get your hands on Wither Root?" She asked.

Neville's brows pulled together. "Wither Root? Why do you need Wither Root?"

"The potion," Remus answered simply.

"It's rumored to have some sort of stabilizing qualities," Hermione explained.

Comprehension crossed Neville's face. "To make the potion permanent," he whispered.

Hermione and Remus both nodded. It was something they had been keeping quiet. Only Severus and now Neville knew about it, but surely many others expected it. The current version of Wolfsbane had to be repeatedly taken every month. Naturally, they would want to create a new version that only had to be taken once in a lifetime. The problem was that it was proving extremely difficult. Even Severus was completely stumped, and when Hermione had gone to him with questions she had been rather desperate.

"I don't know…" Neville muttered. "It's really hard to get ahold of Wither Root. Distribution is terribly restricted by the Ministry, as I'm sure you're aware of."

"Oh we are aware," Remus said. They'd tried at least six different apothecary distributors so far.

Neville thought hard for a moment before looking up and speaking again, "I don't know for sure if I can help, but I'll look into it. Just… make sure you're careful. It's restricted for a reason."

Hermione smiled. "I know. Thank you so much Neville." She hugged him quickly and when she pulled back she began to make herself comfortable on the couch. "Now, tell me how things with Hannah are going."

Hermione and Neville chatted for a long time. Remus wandered off after pressing a kiss to Hermione's forehead. She assumed he was going to find Sirius, and her suspicion was confirmed several minutes later when she saw Sirius, Remus, and Harry talking animatedly across the room.

The three of them looked sublimely happy. That was one of the things Hermione was most thankful for after the war—that they had all ended up happy. Harry had Ginny and his successful career as an Auror. Sirius had joined the Aurors as well, having picked up where he left off so many years ago (he'd been a rather talented Auror in his early twenties). And Remus, of course, had the potion and Hermione and everyone around them. One of the things Hermione was thankful for more than anything was that she had Remus and that he was happy. He deserved it more than anyone in her opinion.

After talking to Neville for a while Hermione tried to make her way over to Sirius, Remus, and Harry. However, Ginny pulled her away before she could. She hugged Hermione with a sudden tight embrace that rivaled the hugs of Molly.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, returning the hug with surprise.

"I never got to thank you for your part in the article," Ginny explained. "It's helped me tremendously. Kepler hasn't stop praising me since it was published."

Hermione smiled. "Walter Kepler is actually _praising_ someone? Unheard of!" Kepler was Ginny's boss at the Prophet (where Ginny had begun working after the complete overhaul of its staff and management). From all the stories Hermione had been told, she knew Kepler was a ruthless boss who absolutely refused to give Ginny any sort of special treatment just because she was the fiancée of Harry Potter.

"I know!" Ginny enthused, hugging Hermione again. "Thank you so much."

"It's really no problem, Ginny," Hermione said, "I only gave you one quote and the address of that Ministry Worker."

Ginny had been assigned a tough article a few weeks ago, one that her boss didn't think she was capable of completing. It was supposed to cover the wealth of illegal underground operations in Britain since the end of the war. Hermione knew a thing or two about these underground operations since her work looking into werewolf populations and potion distribution. She'd given Ginny the address of a Ministry Worker who was known for his work in the underground potion distribution rings. This had allowed Ginny to show up unceremoniously at his door and get a surprisingly good quote out of him.

"It still helped," Ginny said. "I think I may no longer be the lowly novice at the Prophet."

Hermione smiled again. "I'm glad." It was good that Ginny was moving up. She'd been struggling to improve her reputation as a reporter, and all their friends wanted her reputation to improve, as it was certain that she could report things that were accurate and unbiased.

After speaking to Ginny for a few moments more, Hermione managed to slip over to Remus, who was now talking to Sirius alone. She sidled up to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and smiling at Sirius. "Hello, Sirius. How's Georgia?"

Georgia was Sirius' first steady girlfriend in years. After the war ended he went through a bit of a worrying stint of going to bars and picking up a new girl every night. That was until he met Georgia O'Connor at work one day in the Ministry. She was an outspoken, strong-willed woman in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. Hermione had liked her very much immediately upon meeting her.

Sirius grinned roguishly. "Georgia's divine, thank you very much. How's Moony doing for you?"

Hermione arched a brow and inclined her head to look at Remus. "He's alright. But I'm afraid the appetite for chocolate is getting a little difficult to handle. I may have to exchange him for another werewolf professor— one that doesn't buy five kilograms of chocolate per week."

Remus rolled his eyes at her. Sirius just laughed, clapping Remus on the shoulder. "I always knew the chocolate would be the thing to do you in. My deepest condolences, Moony."

Remus swatted Sirius' hand away. "I don't eat _that_ much chocolate. It's just a bit more than usual since we started taking the new potion."

Hermione rubbed Remus' arm. "It's more than _a bit_, darling, but I suppose I can forgive you."

Sirius nodded, "A wise decision, Hermione. It's hard to come by decent werewolf professors these days. You've got a catch here." Sirius winked at both of them.

Hermione sighed, leaning her head against Remus' shoulder. "I do, don't I? Sorry to make fun of your chocolate, Remus. I suppose it's a small price to pay for all the foot rubs you give me."

Remus snorted and wrapped an arm firmly around her while Sirius gave them a quick wave and stepped away to talk to Bill Weasley about something. "I certainly hope so," Remus muttered, "I do give some outstanding foot rubs, don't I?"

Hermione nodded, "yes, and if you keep talking about them I'm going to demand one when we get home."

Remus leaned down, voice lowering to a whisper, "Oh, I have a few ideas other than foot rubs that I can give you." His voice was low and raspy, sending a shiver down Hermione's spine.

"You're insatiable," she said in response, but shifted her body a tad closer to him still.

"I know," he replied, standing up straighter and looking out at the crowd around them, "it's terrible, isn't it? Now how quickly do you think we can say our goodbyes and get out of here?"

Hermione followed his gaze around the room. "Fifteen minutes. Twenty if Arthur asks me to show him my mobile phone again."

Remus sighed, "We had better get started then."

It ended up taking about twenty-five minutes to say their goodbyes. Arthur did ask Hermione about her mobile and she did show it to him. After what felt like forever Remus and Hermione could finally slip out of the Burrow to Apparate away.

Their flat was modest and simple. It was close to the Leaky for easy access to Diagon Alley but also fully entrenched in Muggle London, making Hermione feel right at home. Remus had moved into the flat seven months ago, after selling his cottage.

Immediately after being released from the Prince Estate, Hermione moved in with her parents and started spending virtually all of her time with them. Although they had initially been upset when she'd told them that she wasn't coming home after graduation, they didn't hold a grudge. Mr. and Mrs. Granger were very pleased to have their daughter back in one piece, the war over with. It took her about a month to finally draw up the courage to explain a few more details of the war (but still glossing over some violent or gruesome details): her lycanthropy, Lucius Malfoy, and Remus' role in all of it.

Mr. and Mrs. Granger had been shocked to learn what had happened. On the day Hermione told them she witnessed her father cry for the first time in her life. It was extremely unsettling. Still, her parents learned more about lycanthropy and the Wolfsbane potion and with time they accepted it. When she explained her relationship with Remus to them they were concerned, as was to be expected, but after a surprisingly painless dinner with Remus, Mrs. Granger was convinced that he was right for Hermione. Mr. Granger was a little harder to sway, but he eventually lapsed into a peaceful disposition about it.

It was only about four and a half months after the end of the war that Hermione moved out of her parents' house and in with Remus. It had been strange, at first, living with Remus. They'd basically been living together at the Estate, but this was so different. They could sleep in the same bed every night without worrying about Hermione sneaking out in the morning. It was wonderfully domestic, something Hermione and Remus both relished in every single day. They would take turns shopping for groceries and cooking meals. Since they were both very neat and organized people they hardly ever argued about cleaning or household responsibilities.

One of Hermione's favorite parts of moving in with Remus was that they had been able to combine their book collections. Across from the entrance to the flat was a large, floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, stuffed to the limit with books.

Their flat had a modest living area, a kitchenette off to the side, and then a hallway that led down to two bedrooms and one bathroom. Because Hermione and Remus were staying in the same bedroom, they had agreed to convert the other bedroom into a makeshift potions lab. After Hermione filled out a tremendous amount of paperwork and got several permits through the Ministry, they were allowed to convert it into a lab, where Hermione did the majority of her work and research on the potion.

Upon opening the door, Remus and Hermione stepped inside, only to be nearly mauled by a charging ball of ginger fur. Crookshanks bolted towards Hermione and leapt in the air, only giving the witch a split second to react and catch the half-Kneazle in her arms. "Hello, Crooks," she cooed, rubbing the fur between his ears while Remus closed and locked the door behind her.

Crookshanks was not nearly as happy with the flat as Remus and Hermione were. Something about it frightened him. Remus always said that it was the noise of the next-door neighbor's voice combined with the sound of people walking around upstairs. Hermione had placed charms on the walls in an effort to stop the noise, but Crookshanks still seemed to hear them. Thus, he was always a little bit frightened when Remus and Hermione left him alone.

Hermione settled onto the couch, Crookshanks crawling out of her arms and burrowing at her side between the couch cushions and her leg. She stretched her limbs out and leaned her head back, feeling a familiar sort of fatigue set in.

"Tired?" Remus asked, plopping down onto the couch beside her. His arms stretched out onto the back of the couch, one hand tangling in her curls as she rested her head.

"Mmm," she moaned in response. "I hardly ever notice how exhausted I get on the full moons until I finally sit down and relax."

He hummed in understanding. The two lapsed into silence, sitting on the couch with Crookshanks between them.

"The other day I saw a listing in the paper," Hermione said a few moments later. "A house right by Harry and Ginny. It got me thinking…"

"We just moved in!" Remus exclaimed, looking over at her. Although he acted surprised, he wasn't all that shocked by it. He knew Hermione wanted a little more space, especially for her potions lab.

"I know. It's just- I've been thinking about getting a bigger place. We can afford something bigger now."

Remus nodded. When he'd moved into this flat it had only been because it was all he could afford. For three months he'd scraped together as much money as he had to make ends meet. After Hermione moved in and they split the rent it became easier, and with time the earnings from the Wolfsbane potion started coming in. They weren't selling the potion to people who couldn't afford it, only to potion distributors, but it still brought in a lot of revenue. The Ministry also gave them money, funding all the ingredients and production costs, taking some of the financial stress off of that aspect of their lives.

"I was just thinking about it," Hermione added. "Perhaps it would be nice just to look at the house?" She smiled at him hopefully.

Remus looked at Hermione in the dim lighting of their flat. The sound of a passing train roared uncomfortably in the distance. With his heightened full moon senses he could hear every footstep of the couple that lived upstairs despite Hermione's charms. Perhaps getting their own house wouldn't be that bad.

But he knew what buying a house meant. It was the next natural step in their relationship, and it was certainly a big one. Buying a house meant a lot more responsibilities together. It also meant having a place with spare rooms. Spare rooms that could potentially house children down the road. The idea of children naturally brought along the idea of marriage. This was the way things worked: they buy a flat, then they upgrade to a house, then they get engaged, then married, and finally they have kids.

It was outrageously domestic, but somehow the mere thought of it brought tears to Remus' eyes. As a young child, he had always dreamt of living a normal life like this. It had been one of his wildest and simultaneously most average fantasies. But that was all it had been—a fantasy. Growing up, Remus never thought any woman would want to marry him. The idea of having children and a family had been unfathomable. The idea of living a life that wasn't completely entrenched in poverty and loneliness was incomprehensible. As a child and teenager and a young man in his twenties, these realities had hurt Remus more than any bone-breaking, skin-splitting full moon transformation.

Now, realizing that these realities weren't realities at all, Remus felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest and he could finally breathe. He watched Hermione as she studied him, a concentrated crinkle between her brows, and felt his heart grow about five times its normal size, until it felt like it may just burst inside of his chest and kill him on the spot.

The thought of dying right now and not being able to live out the rest of his wonderfully normal life with Hermione was such a horrendous thought that Remus couldn't stand it. He wanted to _live_—more than he had ever wanted to live in his entire life.

Hermione's face transformed, her lips turning down into a frown as she studied him. She scooted closer on the couch, ignoring the grumbling protest of Crookshanks nestled between them. "What's wrong?" She whispered, her hand cupping his face and wiping away the wetness on his cheek. "Do you not want to look at the house? We don't have to."

He shook his head; lips pressed tightly together, and moved closer to meet her halfway on the couch. Crookshanks let out an irritated snarl and jumped onto the floor, scurrying away to settle himself somewhere else. Remus kissed Hermione firmly on the lips, then on her nose, then her forehead, and then the top of her head. When he pulled back she was watching him contently, no longer with concern and worry.

"I absolutely want to look at the house," Remus said, smiling at her. A different man may have become scared at the thought of what buying a house together meant, but to Remus, it was all he had ever wanted, and he was anything but scared. Gazing at Hermione, with her wild curls and her deep chocolate eyes, he knew that he was ready.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This story has always sort of been about Remus' happiness and growth. I wanted to end with him getting what he deserves—normalcy and happiness. Hermione helped him find this and his self-confidence along the way, but in the end it took a lot of his own growing as well. I hope you all liked the epilogue! I'm quite happy with it myself.

Now for the sad part: As the Moon Rises is officially over. This is the longest and most successful piece I've ever written. It's also the story that I'm most proud of and that has singlehandedly helped me grow as a writer more than anything else. I began plotting this story in August of 2014, and now here we are, exactly a year later, finished.

Thank you, every single one of you, for coming along for this journey and for supporting me in all the wealth of ways that you have. I cannot put into words how grateful I am to have so many wonderful people who read my work. Thank you for every single review, follow, favorite, recommendation, and everything else.

If you're wondering what comes next for me, that's a bit uncertain at this point. In about a week I start my freshman year at a university (eek!). With that in mind, I don't know how much time I'll be able to devote to writing. Still, I'll be around. I have a few one-shots almost complete that I'd like to post soon. I'd like to go through and edit a lot of my old fics, along with this one (mostly for grammatical/syntactical errors). Also, I'm considering writing one-shots within the universe of As the Moon Rises. For example: a short piece taking place a couple years down the road for Remus/Hermione, or a story about some other pairing or character getting on with their life. So I'm open to suggestions for that if there's anything you guys want to read!

You'll certainly see more of me in the future, but probably not something as big as this. If you want to keep up with me, feel free to put me on author alert, follow me on Tumblr (link on my profile), or just PM me on here anytime to chat. Once again, thanks so much to everyone. I've had such a wonderful experience writing and posting this story, and it's mostly because of all of you.


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